


Free if We Want It

by sporadic_obsession



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Family, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Music, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Depression, F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:28:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 94,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28506720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sporadic_obsession/pseuds/sporadic_obsession
Summary: Lucy Heartfilia visits Magnolia in search of peace of mind and soul, but nothing is ever that easy. After she hit pause on her own life for reasons outside her control, she finds herself forcefully pushing the play button, even though she doesn't know where it will take her.
Relationships: Cornelia Alberona/Gildarts Clive, Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser, Jellal Fernandes/Erza Scarlet, Levy McGarden/Gajeel Redfox, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia, Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka
Comments: 11
Kudos: 20





	1. January 1st

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> Welcome to "Danny had a scene playing out in her head, and then another, and another, and it ended up in a big fanfic that's barely coherent!"  
> No, but really - this story flew out of me, and it's my first time writing something this long, so even though I tried my hardest, there are still some loose ends, even though I tried to avoid plot holes as best as I could. I took liberty with my characterizations and with my plot, hope it's okay!  
> All the chapter titles are songs within the chapter, and I'll try to link each one once it begins, so listen to that to help set the mood!  
> The title of this is also a song, which I'll link [here!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ1IaWbZSGI)  
> I'm thinking of doing weekly updates, but I might change my mind (I'm terrible with decisions, oops).  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated!

Lucy wasn’t sure why she was here, if she was being honest with herself. When she’d first arrived in the town of Magnolia, she’d almost turned back, wanting to get back on the train back to Crocus and never return - yet, something had pulled at her heart and she found herself walking further from her escape vehicle than she ever wanted. Clad in a black cape, which she knew stood out amidst the crowd but couldn’t get rid of anyway, she’d walked from the train station and through unfamiliar roads towards her destination.  
She wasn’t exactly sure how to get there, either, but she didn’t dare stop and ask anyone, in fear of being recognized, mistaken for someone she was not; someone she’d come to this town for, and wouldn’t even get to see. The thought of it made her pause, her expression pained as she felt as if a hand was squeezing her heart till it would explode. Softly punching her chest to get the sensation out, she took a deep breath with eyes closed and forced her feet forward. She looked around carefully, taking in the sights around her while making sure her face couldn’t be seen. Somethings looked familiar, but it had been so many years since Lucy had been in this place, she couldn’t quite place how she recognized it; she’d been way too young for the memories to stick.  
Eventually, after what Lucy felt was way too long a path, she finally reached what she’d been looking for - the town square. With the sky slightly overcast, there weren’t that many people out, which helped her in her search for the exact spot she’d wanted to find. She didn’t know what it was she was hoping to find there, really, but she had felt the need to go there; had felt she needed to understand another part of what made her sister so happy as she grew up, despite the circumstances.  
You see, Lucy wasn’t an only child; not biologically, or even when she was adopted. But after being adopted, she’d never been able to contact her sister, much too young to remember she even had one. By the time she’d grown up, Lucy had been ignorant to the fact she had a biological sister, even though she’d been told she was adopted into the Clives’ family at the age of three. She’d never thought to ask what had happened to her biological parents or if she had any other relatives - she had been happy with her life as it was. Her father, Gildarts, spent long periods of time away on his job, but he was a loving father anyway; her mother, Cornelia, had always nurtured her love for reading and writing and helped her grow; her sister, Cana, was a mischievous older sister, always looking for the next adventure at any cost, but Lucy loved her anyway.  
And then, one day, Lucy received an unexpected visitor.  
Lucy was living alone, by then - at twenty-one, she’d found herself a job at her favorite magazine, as a journalist, and was living in a nice little apartment in the center of Crocus. She loved how life had turned out, and she made sure she called her parents and sister as often as possible to share her happiness with them. Cana had gone off on a year of traveling, so she didn’t see her often, but she usually dropped by her house uninvited. So when she’d heard the knocks on the door at three in he afternoon on a Sunday, she’d figured it was just Cana dropping by. She’d bounced up from where she was sitting on her desk, working on the manuscript of her first novel, and rushed to open the front door, full of excitement to be seeing the girl again. She threw the door open without even checking, no matter how naive it was, and then felt her world freeze as she saw who was on the other side.  
She didn’t think she knew this person, not really. She didn’t recall ever seeing her before. Yet, she recognized those eyes and that smile; it was the same one she saw in the mirror every day. For a second, she thought maybe she was dreaming - there was no way there was a girl who looked identical to her on the other side of the door. Bringing her fingers to her arm, she pinched herself to snap herself out of it, but all it did was cause her pain; she was still looking at the image of herself on the other side of her door, and she knew there was no mirror there.  
“I- what? Who are you? What is this?”  
Lucy’s words had trembled as she’d spoke them, the confusion and, if she was honest, the fear making her waver.   
“Lucy...” Even their voices sounded the same, even if the other’s sounded slightly more matured - almost like she’d come from the future, and was Lucy herself but older. Lucy took a step back, feeling her breath rate increase rapidly as she began to hyperventilate. “Easy, I... I know this is a lot to take in, but calm down please, okay? I’m... My name is Anna.”  
Lucy blinked a few times at the other woman, trying her hardest to ease down her heart and her breathing, and let her name swirl in her brain for a few moments; it sounded familiar, like she’d heard it before but couldn’t quite place where. She tested out the feeling of the name on her lips, mouthing it silently, and as she did, memories she’d forgotten started to surge, foggy from her years of forgetting.  
She remembered a woman much older than her, but looking very similar, laughing as she picked up another blonde little girl in her arms, twirling her around as the girl giggled; she remembered calling that woman “mama” and asking her to be twirled too, and the other little girl, who should be around five years old, running over to Lucy and twirling her to the best of her capacity. She remembered the tears in the little girls eyes as they’d stood, hand in hand, in a cemetery on a rainy day, and remembered being picked up by an unknown, short man who, despite a stranger, looked kind. She remembered calling the girl Anna a few times, crying for her as she was taken by a couple sometime later, and so Lucy had never seen her again. Until now.  
“A-Anna?” The rush of the memories had brought with it tears, and Lucy tentatively took a step forward, her hesitation falling away as she saw the tears in the other woman’s eyes as she opened her arms to let Lucy into them. She’d been so shocked at first seeing the other woman, she hadn’t seen the differences, but now that she dared to look up close, she could tell that this woman, Anna, was definitely not Lucy; she looked older, more pained if the bags under her eyes were any indication. Still, Anna smiled affectionately and held Lucy close, tears overflowing over both their eyes. “I... how did you find me? Why? I... I’d completely forgotten about you, I’m so sorry...”  
“Ssh, it’s okay,” her older sister comforted her, a hand petting down her head. “It’s okay you forgot, you were so young, and by the time I was back in Fairy Tail you’d already been adopted...” Lucy heard Anna’s soft, sad sigh, and sobbed softly as she held her closer. “I didn’t want to bother you for a long time, but I... I needed to see you again. So I went to Makarov for help, and he got me in contact with your parents, and they told me where you lived.” Anna pulled back slightly, her arms still around Lucy but with just enough distance so she could look at her sister. “They’re very lovely, Lu, I’m really happy they were the ones who adopted you.”  
Lucy nodded at Anna’s words then, because she couldn’t deny that if she tried; Gildarts and Cornelia had always been the best towards her, treating her well and helping her grow. She was sure, even without asking, that if they’d known about Anna, they’d have done what they could to adopt her as well. Alas, Anna had been adopted first, so there wasn’t much they could do.  
“I— wait,” Lucy paused, sniffling back some of her tears, “you said you got back in Fairy Tail... why’d you go back?”  
“Well... that’s a long story.”  
So the two girls had closed the apartment door and headed to the couch, where their hands remained together as Anna talked. She told Lucy all about how she’d been adopted by a couple who cared only about the benefits of having many children, and how mistreated she’d been, so she’d escaped and gone to beg Makarov, the man who owned the orphanage both Lucy and Anna had spent some time in, for help; how Makarov had rescued Anna before things turned for the worse, and how Anna had lived in Fairy Tail ever since. She told Lucy about her friends Erza and Jellal, who were both her age when they joined the orphanage after their previous one had been shut down for misconduct, and about growing up playing with them. She told her about two younger boys, Lucy’s age, Natsu and Gray, who loved to fight but were also the best friends Anna had ever had. She told her about growing up with them, their adventures in the woods near Fairy Tail, and how none of them had been adopted by the time of eighteen.  
Anna continued her stories of growing up, telling Lucy about different times she’d gotten into trouble at school because of her friends, but she told them all with fondness. She explained how, when she was eighteen, she found a nice little apartment on a road called Strawberry Street and had been living there ever since. She told her that, more often than not, Erza, Jellal, Natsu and Gray spent the night there, sleeping on the couch or the floor or, when they were too drunk to go anywhere else, the tub. Lucy laughed along her, imagining the people in her head even though she had no idea what any of them looked like. She laughed amidst tears of joy, and then Anna got more serious and Lucy heard attentively as the older woman said she was dying.  
So, here Lucy was now, at the square where Anna said her and her friends would often play music for the people in exchange of nothing. Anna had died about a month ago, the same sickness that had taken their mother taking her as well; she’d died too soon, with Lucy unable to make up for all the lost time they’d faced between them, but ending up loving her so bad it hurt to breathe now she was gone. She hadn’t shown it, however; she’d smiled at Anna and made as many good memories with her as she could, and when it came time to say goodbye, she’d done so while fighting back all her tears. She hadn’t been able to attend the funeral, unable to face all the strangers who could rightfully mourn the woman they’d known for so long, and had instead cried in Cana’s arms as the older woman had comforted her for days on-end.  
Now, though, she’d already visited her sister’s grave and left there a simple bouquet of the prettiest orchids she could find, knowing they were her sister’s favorite. She’d gone to see Strawberry Street and looked up at the building she knew her sister’s apartment was. She’d gone to see her favourite coffee shop and the library where she worked. This town square had been the last place she wanted to go, because it was where she was most likely to find her friends, but she did so anyway - she wanted to see everything her sister had seen, love everything her sister had loved, in order to be able to honor her properly.  
She walked through the square softly until she heard a guitar playing, and headed in its direction. When she got there, she saw a boy around her age playing the guitar sadly, his pink hair hiding his eyes as he plucked at the strings. Lucy gulped, knowing she’d found the right people as she saw the other three members of the playing band all grieving. The woman with red hair behind the drums was softly keeping rhythm, as the blue haired man with the bass in his hands looked at her sad - Lucy guessed those were Erza and Jellal. The other boy on the guitar was frozen still, looking in the distance, and Lucy saw as a blue-haired woman went to him to hold his arm comfortingly - so that must be Gray, then; Anna had told Lucy about Juvia as well, the woman who’d been trying to win Gray’s heart ever since they started high school.  
Then that meant that the boy with the pink hair was Natsu. Anna had told Lucy about how loud Natsu was, how exuberant his personality was, but here he just looked broken, and it broke Lucy’s heart. She imagined these people in Anna’s many adventures, but couldn’t picture any of it right now. She blinked back tears, wondering if she should reach out and say something, but then she’d spotted the sign by the boy’s feet.  
“Choose a song, and sing. Let’s honor Anna together.”  
Lucy blinked back her tears, looking over the list of songs, and before she could stop herself she stepped forward. She kept her face down so they couldn’t see who she was, but called softly for Jellal’s attention. When the boy faced her, she whispered lowly so her voice wouldn’t stand out too much.  
“I, um. I’d like to sing,” she mumbled. The boy seemed to smile ever so slightly, although his expression was still sad, and before he could ask what song, Lucy cleared her throat. “January 1st would... that’d be my choice.” The man seemed a little taken aback by the request but nodded anyway, handing Lucy a microphone they’d placed on a stool in the middle of them all, and nodded at his friends as he told them what Lucy wanted. She could see through the cover of her hood the dubious eyes of Natsu as he tried to decipher why she’d chosen that song, and just who she was, but didn’t dare to do a thing about it; instead, she just sat on the stool Jellal had taken the microphone from, head facing down.  
She heard the beginning chords of the song and took a breath to steel herself. She’d heard Anna sing a few times since meeting her again, and she knew she was good - her voice was soft but very melodic, and it had brought Lucy to tears once, at how sad she sounded. At least, they had that in common. Lucy didn’t sing often but she was good at it too, having won talent contests at school year after year; she’d only lacked the emotion, before.  
“ _[I can’t believe that it’s over now, I hope you know that I’ll miss you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncCbyA6HgJg)... You fought the fight like no other could, day and night; hope you know I’m so proud of you._” Lucy’s eyes closed, one hand holding the microphone to her lips as the other clenched the cape closed over her chest, the pendant her sister had given her being held underneath it. “ _Said goodbye, but had to lie - tonight is not alright... So I’ll try but can’t deny - tonight will never be alright..._ ”  
She heard a voice sing with hers in that moment on the pre-chorus and glanced to her right, watching as Natsu harmonized with her through those lines. His voice was low and he had his eyes closed as well despite the fact he was still playing his guitar, and she could hear the edge of sadness melt into his vocals. She closed her eyes once again as she reached the chorus, once again only her voice being heard.  
“ _Tell me how do I let go? When all I know is to hold on? Every memory that you left keeps me from moving ahead - tell me how do I let go?_ ”  
Releasing her hold on the necklace she’d gotten from Anna, Lucy smoothed the edge of her black cape, adjusting the hood over her head to give her a little more room to breathe. She knew that her hair was visible now, the same blonde hair her sister had, but was too invested in the song to care about it.  
“ _It’s been a month, I’ve been doing good... I wrote this song thinking of you... I hope it helps someone like me someday get through losing somebody like you..._ ” This time, Lucy wasn’t surprised when Natsu’s voice joined hers, and she glanced at the pink-haired man once more, this time finding him looking straight at her, his eyes full of questions, even though she knew he couldn’t see her face, still. “ _Said I’d try but had to lie - goodbye is not alright... So I’ll cry from time to time, ‘cause goodbye will never be alright..._ ”  
As she went once again into the chorus, Lucy felt some moisture on her face and realized a tear had slipped through. She lifted her free hand to rub it away swiftly, looking away from Natsu as she noticed him share a sympathetic look with her., almost as if he’d figured out who she was and wanted her to know she wasn’t the only one suffering. She couldn’t bear to see it, or to think it - she still felt she had no right to be so torn over her sister’s death, when she’d forgotten about her for so long.  
“ _I never had to say a word, it’s like you always saw me through... But all you ever asked of me was to hold you like I always do..._ ” Lucy felt her throat become tighter as the song progressed, her beautiful voice becoming rougher as her free hand turned to a fist while she tried to hold in her emotions. “ _I never had to say a word, it’s like you always saw me through! But all you ever asked of me was to love like I do!_ ”  
The song slowed once again and Lucy’s voice turned to a small, sad whisper; the melody was there, still, but she was sure everyone could hear the tears in her voice, even if they couldn’t see them falling down her face. “ _Tell me, how do I let go? When all I know is to hold on? Every memory that you left, keeps me from moving ahead... Tell me how do I let go...?_ ”  
There was a short pause and, despite her best efforts, Lucy couldn’t help the small sob that escaped her lips, straight into the microphone and for everyone to hear. She balled her hand into a tighter fist, but by now she was too far gone into her sadness to be able to contain it. Somehow, it felt cathartic to sing like this, letting out everything she’d been holding inside her chest. Despite the embarrassment of having her sister’s friends, and the people who’d gathered in the square to hear them, watching her, she felt like she was losing a heavy weight on her shoulders. “ _How do I let go? How do I let go? Every memory that you left, keeps me from moving ahead! Tell me how do I let go?_ ”  
As the song came to a close, Lucy felt herself shake softly as she sobbed, her microphone picking up some of the sounds she made but she couldn’t hold it back. She could only imagine what her sister’s friends were thinking, a stranger breaking down completely from singing that song there, how weird she was for letting go of the control over her emotions so easily. She felt embarrassed by it, wanted to run away as far as possible to never face these people or these feelings again, but found that she had no strength to move. She felt the microphone rolling to the ground, a small thud being heard as it hit the blanket they’d placed on the floor beneath their feet, and her breathing became rapidly more erratic as she felt the begginings of a panic attack grip at her. She’d dealt with these for many years, never quite sure where they’d stemmed from, but hadn’t had one this bad in quite a while. As she tried to focus on keeping herself from completely tipping over the edge, she felt a weight on her shoulder and turned slightly to see a tanned hand resting there.  
“You’re Lucy, right?” The voice she recognized as Natsu’s said, and Lucy finally turned to him, allowing him to see her face for the first time. She saw a flicker of pain cross his eyes as he saw how much she looked like his lost friend, but it was quickly replaced with a mixture of empathy and affection. “Yeah, you’re Lucy alright; you look just like her,” he commented, squeezing her shoulder before he crouched next to her. “Anna loved ya very much, hope you know that. There wasn’t a day she wouldn’t talk about you and how much she missed you, or how proud she was of you, recently.”  
Lucy knew the words were supposed to comfort her, knowing her sister was thinking of her and loving her even when they were apart, but they only served as a painful reminder of how much Lucy had lost, how much time Anna had spent thinking of her and Lucy hadn’t even remembered she existed. As her tears subsided, she began to frown, angry at herself once again. For the few months she’d been reunited with her sister, she’d been stuck in a cycle of happiness for getting to have her in her life, sadness about losing her, and self-hatred for ever having forgotten her. It was a vicious cycle she couldn’t escape, and it had led to one too many sleepless nights. It had begun to wear out on her so much she’d begun making mistake after mistake at work, fainting out of tiredness once or twice a week. It had gotten so bad she’d had to use her vacation days to take two weeks off, and today was only the first of those days.  
“Stop,” she said in response, her begging tone not going unnoticed by the male. She saw the concern in his eyes and looked away, huffing slightly. “I’m... I’m not Anna. I didn’t even remember she existed till she knocked on my door.” Her confession was spoken through gritted teeth, her self-hatred coming to the forefront of her feelings. “I shouldn’t have even come here. I’ve got no right to mourn or cry for her when I lived as if she never existed for most of my life. You knew her better than I ever did, you were with her when I never was, I’ve got no right to be crying when you’re suffering way worse.” Breathing deeply, she pulled away from his hand, finally standing up from the stool she was sitting on, her hood falling back from her head as she lifted her hands to her face, wiping away at the last remains of the tears she’d just cried.  
When Lucy lowered both her hands she heard a gasp, and realized people were still watching. Sure, Natsu had already realized who she was, but no one else had seen her face until now. She wondered if, like Natsu, they’d realize she was Anna’s younger sister, or if they were bound to think she was some sort of ghost. If she had it her way, she’d prefer it if they thought she was an illusion, that way she wouldn’t have to run away in shame; she could just pretend she was her for a few minutes, then say she had to go back to Heaven, or wherever people went when they died, and that was it. She could go back home, and forget all about this. Yet, since luck was never on her side, she was instead faced with anger.  
“What the fuck is this?!” She heard from her left side, and turned to see the dark-haired guitarist, Gray, stare at her angrily. “Who the hell are you and what do you think you’re doing? Showing up here looking like her, you think it’s funny? You think we’re not hurting enough as it is?” The words cut deep and Lucy found herself taking a step away from the male, fear overcoming her anger towards herself; he looked like he was about to strike her, and despite the fact Lucy had never seen a raised hand from her parents, both adoptive and biological (as far as she remembered, that is), she’d been bullied through middle and high school and still remembered how much it stung. “Just because you dyed your hair like hers and have the same eye color doesn’t mean you can be her! Stop pulling this stunt already and get the hell away from here before I lose it!”  
As Gray took a step forward, Lucy stumbled back once again and ended up crashing against a warm body. Fear-stricken, she jumped away from the contact, feeling once again the beginning of a panic attack move through her vessels. As she began to feel numb, her chest began moving rapidly to accompany her faster breathing, and she rushed to try and throw the cape off her as she began to suffocate within it. The cold air around her began to cut through her skin and she couldn’t stand anymore, sinking to her knees as one hand began to scratch at the skin of her chest that was showing - if she could just reach inside, dig out her heart and lungs so they wouldn’t do this, she’d be fine. She felt her nails dig into and leave marks but kept at it until she felt something cold against her palm - the pendant.  
She grabbed right at the amulet, a little key with the design of her sister’s zodiac sign, and used it to center herself, trying desperately to get out of the darkness she could see surrounding her. By now, she had no idea where she was, couldn’t for the life of her hear Jellal calling her name over and over, or see Natsu and Gray arguing lowly to her left. She couldn’t feel Erza’s hands on her face as she tried to break her out of her haze, even. All she could feel was that key, the one she’d been given by Anna in her final moments, and she held tighter onto it, letting it slowly bring her back into the real world.  
As she began to calm down, she started doing what her therapist had told her to - begin sensing the things around her. The first thing she realized was that her eyes were closed, but she didn’t dare open them yet. She chose to first focus on her sense of smell, trying to find five different scents - she took deep breaths, finding first the scent of the rain about to fall. She sniffed the air around her gently, smelling as well some kind of strawberry cake nearby, mixed with the scent of cologne from in front of her. Giving it another try, she could also smell the trees that surrounded her, and, oddly enough, what seemed to be the smell of a new book.   
Done with her sense of smell, she allowed her ears to begin cataloguing the sound of laughter from a child nearby, the worried chirp of a couple of doves which tried to fly away from the impending rain, the static from the guitars still connected to their small amps; she could hear the leaves rustle in the wind, and what sounded like her name be spoken gently, as well as words of encouragement that she’d be okay. Those words meant she could move on to her sense of touch, and that was an obvious one - she could feel the key against the palm of her hand, its shape leaving small marks on the skin; she could feel her hair move with the wind as well over the skin of her neck, and felt the slight burn of the scratches she’d made on her chest. She felt the pain in her legs from being in the same position for too long, and the softness of the hands on her face, brushing away small hairs and caressing her cheeks with a gentleness she hadn’t felt since Anna had died.  
As she couldn’t really catalog five different tastes right now, she jumped to the last step and opened her eyes slowly, head tilted up as she faced the sky. She looked carefully at the clouds above her, at their abstract shapes as they moved closer together. She dropped her head to look around her instead, finding the children she’d heard laughing before, running in the distance. She spotted the two doves she’d heard sheltering under a tree branch, and then looked down at her hand, opening it to look at the key in it - it was still intact, despite how violently she’d grabbed it. At last, she lifted her face to stare at the person still touching her face, and all at once her vision was full of pink and green, the hair on the male’s face ruffled a little wilder than earlier, his eyes greener as they shone with unshed tears. Despite that, he smiled softly at her, his thumb caressing the apples of her cheeks.  
“There you are, Luce,” he spoke gently, and Lucy couldn’t believe he could show such kindness to someone he barely knew. She wondered if, had she looked less like Anna, he would’ve treated her the same. “We lost ya there for a second, didn’t we?” Lucy nodded a little, despite being quite certain Natsu’s question required no answer. “It’s alright, happens to the best of us. Stupid Ice Princess is a little slow on the uptake and thought you were a weirdo we met a while ago,” as he had said it, Lucy had seen the glare Natsu had sent somewhere to their left, and turned to see what she could only guess was an apologetic Gray. “But he’s all caught up now, and he’d like to apologize for his dumb words. Right, Ice Brain?”  
“I, uh. I didn’t know you were Lucy,” the black-haired boy said sheepishly, a hand rubbing at his arm, which Lucy could see was held, once again, by his girlfriend Juvia. “Anna said you lived all the way in Crocus and I didn’t figure you’d wanna come to boring old Magnolia when you lived in a place like that, but I guess it makes sense.” His eyes became very sincere then, and, even if a Lucy had, for some reason, wanted to be angry at him for triggering her panic attack, she knew that the sincerity in his eyes would’ve thrown that option out the window. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to cause all that.”  
Lucy nodded slightly at the man, gulping down some of her own saliva to coat her vocal chords. Despite her panic attack having stopped, her throat still felt coarse from the heavy breathing, which, mixed with the chill lifting in the air, wasn’t good for her voice in the slightest.  
“It’s okay,” she replied lightly, managing to show Gray a soft smile, which she couldn’t then move out of as she felt Natsu’s thumb tug at the skin next to her lips to keep the smile in place. She blushed lightly at his ministrations, but had no strength to push him away. “I’m sorry I showed up out of nowhere, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I know Anna and I look very much alike, and I tried to keep myself covered because of it, but I just... I lost it for a second. I was already losing it when you said anything to me, so this isn’t really your fault. It was inevitable.” Feeling that, maybe, she wasn’t being totally rational still, she turned to face Natsu again, her hand lifting to remove one of his own from her face. “Thank you. I’m all better now.” She squeezed his hand in hers before letting it go, shuffling until she was sitting on the ruffled blanket, instead of kneeling. She looked at Erza and Jellal who were still watching her with concern, and managed a smile by herself. “I’m sorry to you, as well. I know you and Anna were very close. She loved you very much. I didn’t mean to come here and hurt any of you further.”  
“There’s no need to apologize,” the red-haired woman said, kindness mixed with determination in her voice. “You have every right to be here, Anna was as much your sister as she was our friend.” Lucy wanted to deny that, but she saw the hard-set expression in Erza’s face and found herself unable to reply back. “Now allow us to pack this up before the rain starts to fall, and we’ll go to your apartment to talk further. I believe Anna left some things to your name, but since you weren’t there to hear her will after the funeral, we’ll relay it to you as best as we can.”  
Lucy wanted to pipe up that her apartment was quite far off, but as Erza began ordering the boys around and helping them get things in their rightful cases and loaded onto a small cart she hadn’t even noticed, she didn’t get a chance to. She saw them unplug their equipment and watched as Jellal went away to a nearby food stand where he thanked the man for his help once more and then began rolling in an extension cord as he returned. She spotted the careful way Natsu put away his acoustic guitar, caressing the strings one last time before closing the case, and saw Gray do something similar with his own electric guitar. She realized that everyone was dedicated to this, the love they had for their instruments, and for music in general, overflowing out of them. She could see herself being like that with music, too, if she dedicated herself enough; for now, only writing made her swell with emotions that strong.  
When everything was put away in the cart, Lucy tried standing up to allow them to grab the only missing thing, the blanket she was still sitting on. Yet, as she willed herself to stand she found that her lack of sleep and proper nutrition was getting the best of her, and her legs trembled in weakness. She hated being a burden and tried hard to pass it off as them being numb from kneeling, but as her arms shook when she tried to force herself to stand by leaning on her hands, she knew she wasn’t fooling anyone. She felt, once again, the heat of Natsu’s hands on her, this time on her legs as he lifted her onto his back as if she was as heavy as a school backpack barely filled with enough notebooks for a full day of classes. She wanted to tell him she could walk, but found herself wrapping her arms around his shoulders instead, chin resting on top of her right arm, her face almost leaning against his.  
“How long has it been since you’ve eaten?” Natsu asked quietly, just so the two of them could hear. Lucy silently thanked her lucky stars that he wasn’t bringing it up for everyone to hear. Sure, they’d seen how weak she was as he carried her, but there were some things she still didn’t want to say out loud, or at least not much louder than a whisper.  
“I... I honestly don’t know. Maybe a day?” She guessed, unaware of whether she was right or not. She really didn’t remember when she had last had a full meal. She’d snacked on the train to Magnolia on some hazelnuts she had with her, but before that, she could only remember eating the soup Cana had forced on her before leaving her apartment, and that had been two nights ago. She frowned a little, her lips flicking downwards. “I’m not doing it on purpose, I promise,” she quickly added, before even being asked. “I just... I forget. I’ve been thinking so much about Anna, about what I should or shouldn’t be feeling, and second-guessing coming here, I just can’t seem to remember that I need to eat. Or sleep. But the sleep thing’s been going on for a few months now, and I’ve tried sleeping a lot but my brain only shuts off when I’m dead tired, now.”  
She wasn’t really sure why she was telling Natsu all these things, he’d only asked a simple question, but it was too late to take them back now; she couldn’t make him unhear it, really.  
“Hm. I get the insomnia thing too,” the boy confessed, and Lucy’s eyes widened slightly as she looked at his profile, seeing him look straight ahead. “It’s not so bad now, but back when my dad died, I think I went, like, six months without being able to sleep unless I was too tired to fight it. Whenever I tried it on my own I kept having nightmares so I stopped trying. Eventually, Erza hit me across the head so hard I fell asleep, and Makarov had me see a therapist and it helped. Now I can sleep fine most nights, though there are times I can’t sleep at all,” he’d explained, and Lucy’s eyes became sad at the thought, but understanding. She hadn’t been able to sleep properly in about five months, herself, plagued with nightmares and fears, and with her brain too active to completely shut down, even when she slept she still felt completely exhausted the next morning. “Alright, enough depressing talk,” he cleared his throat, turning his head slightly the grin widely at Lucy. He was very, very close and she began to blush at their closeness, but tried hard to fight it off. “So, Luce, what do you like to eat? Erza’s terrible in the kitchen but I can do pretty well, if I do say so myself, and will cook ya anything you want once we get you home, okay?”  
Once more, someone mentioned her home, as if she wasn’t living in a city a long train ride away. She opened her lips to reply, but was interrupted before she could.  
“Alright, we’re here!”  
Lucy looked away from Natsu at that, looking up at the building she’d stared at earlier that morning. She knew this was where her sister had lived, but hadn’t been able to go inside - first, she didn’t have a key, and second, she wasn’t sure she should. This had been her sister’s home, her personal space, which was sometimes invaded by her friends, sure, but they’d shared a home with her as well, in the orphanage, so it made sense that they came here. Lucy hadn’t lived with Anna for a very long time, it felt almost like an invasion of privacy for her to come here. She wanted to say that out loud, but Natsu squeezed her thighs almost as if he sensed her uneasiness and she blushed so hard her mouth closed instantly. She hid her face on his shoulder before anyone could see and felt him move up the stairs to the building, and then up the stairs to Anna’s apartment. She heard someone open the door, and then a few more steps and Natsu stopped.  
Slowly lifting her head, feeling that her blush had faded away, Lucy took in the place around her, and almost wanted to laugh. Despite having grown up in different places, with different people, Anna’s apartment resembled her own in many ways. Despite aesthetically pleasing, the placed seemed more functional than anything else, with books littering the shelves where Anna had placed a few photographs. Lucy saw Anna and her friends in many different ages, and at the end, a little bigger than the others, was a photograph of Lucy, Anna and their parents. She hadn’t seen the photo before and wanted to get a closer look, and, luckily, Natsu seemed to understand her wish as he walked straight up to it.  
“You sure you’re not twins?” The man asked, holding Lucy up with just one arm as he used his other hand to grab at the framed photo, holding it closer for the blonde to see better. She smiled at the picture, how her and her sister shared a seat in a big, pompous chair, with their father on their right and their mother on their left, all of them smiling lovingly. The two young girls had a small doll between them, and Lucy recalled calling the little doll their younger sister. She chuckled lightly at the memory, and at Natsu’s words. “What? It’s true. You two look practically the same! Your eyes are a little bigger and your hair’s a little shorter but that’s it,” he grumbled as an explanation.  
“Yet she was older by two years,” Lucy clarified, chuckling still. “You can put me down now, I think I’m good to walk around here.”

Lucy heard Natsu grumble lightly under his breath, thinking she heard him say that he didn’t want to, but let him lower her to the ground anyway. As she stood on her own two feet, she released her arms from around his but stopped to squeeze one of his biceps, offering him a sincere smile.  
“Thanks, Natsu. You’ve been a great help.” Her hand slid down his arm and she ended up squeezing his hand as well, holding it for a second before letting it go to grab at the frame he’d placed back on the shelve in the meantime. She felt him give her a weird look she didn’t try to decipher before he walked away and into what she assumed was the kitchen. She remained in that same spot, still, finger tracing over her family’s features, most of what she’d forgotten shadowing her mind. Their mother, Layla, was the splitting image of Lucy and Anna, although much older; their father had no resemblance to the two, but his kind eyes reminded Lucy of Anna’s despite their different colors. She sighed a little, wishing she’d had more time with all of them, but put down the photograph to grab the one right next to it.  
Her smile became a little more joyous as she looked at the picture of Anna, Natsu and Gray. The boys were on each side of her, trying to grab at each other while she stood in the middle trying to separate them. The picture next to that was very similar, but they were a little older, maybe seven years old for the boys and nine for Anna, Erza and Jellal, who were now a part of the moment. She continued to look through the pictures of the five, eventually six when Juvia started to appear as they reached high school, and noticed a pattern - Gray and Natsu were always at each other’s throats. She laughed as she remembered Anna explaining lovingly that, despite that, they were the best of friends, and looked back to find Natsu and Gray bickering by the kitchen, which only made her laugh a little harder.  
“They’re idiots,” Erza commented, and Lucy turned to smile at the woman. She looked a little rough around the edges, as if she was a knight who could end their enemy with a single swing of her sword, but her expression was kind. “But they really do care for each other. They joined Fairy Tail a little before I did, but they joined on the same week and have been like this ever since. I always try to make them behave but it’s to no avail. I guess this is how they show they care for each other, really.”  
“Mmhm,” Lucy nodded a little. “Everyone’s a little different on their love language, right?” She commented softly, putting down the photo she was holding of Anna’s graduation, where her and her friends were all holding each other and smiling. “I don’t have many friends, myself, but I can understand that much.” She turned to fully face Erza, leaning against the shelf to hold herself up even as her strength failed her for a second. “You said there were things Anna left me? I couldn’t... I couldn’t bring myself to come here for the funeral, I though you would all hate me for taking up so much of her time near the end, especially since we hadn’t seen each other in so long... I can see now it was an unfounded fear, but still. I’d like it if you told me what is it I’ve got of hers, if that’s okay?”  
Erza smiled at the blonde, offering her arm as she guided her to the couch. Lucy was thankful for it as, despite telling Natsu she could stand, she wasn’t sure how well she’d be able to walk before she ate anything of real sustenance. Her body was giving out under her, begging for something nutritious to rebuild her strength, and she’d been so caught up in everything she hadn’t noticed how weak she’d gotten. When they reached the couch, she couldn’t help the sigh of relief that passed her lips as she sat down, although her head still felt a little dizzy and was beggining to hurt.  
“Alright. So, Anna didn’t really have much, and the money she did have she donated it all to Fairy Tail,” Erza began, and Lucy smiled - she didn’t care about money one bit, and it felt good to know her sister had thought of the other children first. “The only things of value she kept were her motorcycle, which she gifted Natsu since he’d been begging since she first got it, her guitar, which Gray got, and her piano. That one’s yours. That, and this apartment, which she managed to pay off somehow.”  
Lucy blinked a few times, finally understanding why they kept referring to this place as her house - Anna had left it to her, after all. Was Lucy ready to leave behind her life in Crocus and move to the small town of Magnolia? She wasn’t sure. But if that was her sister’s will, she was sure she could get used to it. She’d always been a small town girl, anyway; the big city was too loud at night, and had too many people trying to make their way into her life, which she preferred not to happen. She had always been a bit of a recluse, preferring the company of a few good books over the company of people, anyway, so living in a quieter place would be better for their.  
“I— what about you? And Jellal? I’m sure there’s something she wanted you to have as well, no?” The thought entered Lucy’s brain and left through her mouth in an instant, and she expected some kind of hurt or angry reaction from the drummer, but Erza laughed instead.  
“Anna already gave me way too much. If it wasn’t for her, Jellal and I wouldn’t be engaged in the first place, there’s nothing I value more than that,” Erza admitted with a slight blush, and Lucy smiled in understanding; Anna had told her about how Erza and Jellal loved each other since kids but had always been too afraid to admit, and Anna had been the one to force it out of them. “In any case, she gave me a very rare sword a few months ago, and that’s more than enough for me. She also bought Jellal a new bass before she decided where her money would go, and even gave Juvia a blanket she knitted herself to match the color of Gray’s eyes. I swear we all almost drowned in the many tears of Joy Juvia cried as she held the thing.”  
The two women laughed as they glanced at the kitchen door, and found Juvia hanging over Gray’s arm once more, but this time he was paying attention to her, and Lucy caught the softest smile she’d seen on the man so far as he lifted his hand to place some of Juvia’s blue hair behind her ear. For some reason, that reminded her of when Natsu had been caressing her face earlier and a slight blush made itself known. She willed it away by looking away from the couple, instead taking in the rest of the apartment. It was very simple, much like her own, and she could see herself living here without changing a thing.  
“Are you going to stay, then?”  
This time, the voice was male, and Lucy looked to find Jellal standing behind the couch, his hand finding its way to his fiancé’s shoulder as he looked at Lucy, a sympathetic expression on his face. Despite the tattoo covering his left side, he looked like he was a gentle man, and Lucy felt instantly calm in his presence.  
“I’m thinking about it,” Lucy admitted, looking away from the blue-haired man to look at her surroundings once more. “I could see myself living here. It looks very much like my apartment back in Crocus, but it’s a lot quieter.” Just as she said that, Lucy heard Natsu call after Gray in a loud yell from the kitchen, and couldn’t help but laugh. “I mean, at least outside. Things seem very lively in here.” She chuckled a few times to herself, and then her lips rested on a smile. “I don’t know if I’d be able to keep my job, though, but I’m not too broken up about that. Journalism is not really what I wanted to be doing anyway, it was just something to get me by until I was able to get my book published anyway.”  
“You’re writing a book?” This time, it had been Natsu’s voice that chimed in, and Lucy was startled to find him right behind her, peering down at her face from the back of the couch. She looked up and blushed slightly at how close he was once again, but managed a small nod. “Oh man, that’s so cool! I was sure you were a singer, from the way you sang earlier,” he commented, and this time Lucy couldn’t hide her blush at his compliment. “But writing is cool too. Not that I do a lot of it. Or reading, either. But I’ll definitely ready your book once it’s out!” He grinned the same wide grin he’d given her earlier, and Lucy felt her heart stutter a little in her chest. She hadn’t felt like this since high school, since Loke, but she knew better than to admit that, even to herself. She barely knew this man, after all.  
“If it’s ever out,” she corrected, but was interrupted by Natsu blowing out a long huff of air, straight into her face.  
“Pfft! If you’re as good at writing as you are at singing, you’re already sure to be published.” Once again, Lucy blushed at the compliment and this time lowered her face so he wouldn’t be staring right at her reddening cheeks. “Anyway! Since you didn’t tell me what you liked to eat, I went a little overboard, but I’m sure you’ve got stomach for all that.” Natsu’s words were joyful but Lucy could hear the worry behind them, and lifted her head to him once more, showing him her grateful smile. “Alright! It’s almost ready so just get comfy and I’ll bring you a tray so you don’t have to get up.” Lucy gave a small nod and then squealed in surprise as Natsu’s hand patted the top of her head, both of them blushing lightly at the action. Before she could even begin to question it, however, the pink haired man was already retreating back into the kitchen, disappearing before Lucy could even say thank you.  
“Is he always like this?” The words came out of Lucy’s mouth before she could stop them, and she felt embarrassment at the need to know. Was it that she hadn’t felt like this in such a long time, she was reading too much into Natsu’s actions? Was it that her brain was malfunctioning from the sleep deprivation and malnutrition? Or was it, simply, because she wanted his actions to be special? Once again, she berated her own mind, telling herself she shouldn’t be so invested when she barely knew the man. Sure, he was kind and he’d stayed with her through her panic attack and helped her after, but that didn’t mean she should be feeling anything for him. She only knew his name, barely knew anything else about him.  
“He was always like this with Anna.” Lucy’s chain of thoughts shattered as she turned to see Gray, who was now sitting on the arm of the pink couch she was sitting on, one arm resting on the back of the couch while the other held Juvia, who was standing on his side, by the waist. “He’s usually a big dumbass, but Anna always brought out the best in him. It’s like he couldn’t help but be nicer when she was around.” Gray was looking at Lucy as he spoke, so she was sure he’d caught her frown before she looked down at her lap.  
“I’m not Anna, though,” she whispered, loud enough for the ones around her to hear, before she forced herself up. She wasn’t sure why she was so upset, she should’ve known that she’d become a kind of surrogate for her lost sister amidst her friend group, with the way the two had looked so identical. She’d wanted to avoid them due to that, not wanting to hurt them any further when they realized she really wasn’t Anna, or anything like her at all. “I think I need to sleep for a bit,” she excused herself, holding tightly to anything she could grab as she made her way to the only closed door in the apartment, which she figured had Anna’s bedroom behind it. She made her way there slowly, not wanting to rush and end up falling on her face, but thanked her lucky stars that no one tried to stop her or help her. She needed to be alone for a while, try to make sense of her thoughts.  
When she reached the closed door she took a deep breath, fingers held on the door handle when she heard Natsu walk out of the kitchen.  
“Yo, Luce, what’re you doing?”  
Lucy pushed open the door and went inside the room with no reply, unable to face him or the rest of Anna’s close friends, hearing Erza tell Natsu to let her be. She appreciated the girl understanding she needed to be alone, and sighed in relief as she stood alone in her sister’s bedroom. She looked around for a few moments, trying to take in everything she could see, but as she felt her legs grow tired once more, she forced herself to take the last few steps forwards Anna’s bed, where she sat as quickly as possible. She noticed a letter on the pillow and peered closet at the envelope, noticing that on it, there was her sister’s handwriting. It said ‘To Lucy’ on the back of it, and Lucy’s heart seemed to shatter once again - had Anna left this here before she’d gone to the hospital, where she’d ended up dying? Had it been waiting here for over a month for Lucy to find it?  
Mustering some strength, Lucy held the envelope in her hands as she clumsily kicked off her shoes so she could lay on her sister’s big bed instead of sit, feeling better that way. She pried the envelope open gently, not wanting to ruin even a part of it as it was the last thing she’d ever read of her sister’s, and pulled out the letter, surprised when she realized the handwriting in it was completely different from the outside - it was a lot harder to read, but being used to review her peers’ work at the magazine, she could decipher it well.  
“ _Lucy,_  
_If you’re reading this, then that means I’m gone. I hope you never read this, but if you do, then know I am sorry. I know it was cruel of me to find you when I got sick, it was cruel of me to get to know you and build memories with you when there’s such a high chance that I’ll be gone soon. I was being selfish, and_ ”  
After that, there was a word scratched out, and Lucy squinted her eyes in confusion as she noticed something written in parenthesis in front of it - “ _I refuse to write this down_ ”, it said. Lucy noticed the letter continued down the next paragraph, and went back to reading it.  
“ _I guess I can’t say all that. I asked Natsu to write this for me, I don’t think I’m strong enough to write so much, and he’s refusing to write what I ask. Give him some sort of punishment from me when you meet him, okay Lu? (Please have mercy! :c)_ ”  
Finally understanding what was going on, Lucy’s eyes watered slightly - Anna had Natsu write this for her, probably in her final days at the hospital. She lifted a hand to rub away her tears so she could continue reading, clearing her throat to try and get rid of the knot forming there once again.  
“ _I’m sure you already know this, but the apartment is yours. Please, don’t feel like you have to move here if you don’t want to, but it is paid for if you so wish. If you don’t, I ask that you don’t sell it, because it contains too many memories for my friends to see it completely renewed by someone else. I know it is also selfish of me to ask that, but, please, Lucy; I can’t bear to hurt them any further._  
_My piano is also yours, and I hope you’ll enjoy playing it as much as I did. It is a good one, and I’d like you to be able to express yourself through music like I did. I know you’re trained, Gildarts told me that when I met him, so make good use of it._  
_I know you have only a few people you trust and love, Lucy, but I hope you can open your heart a little to my friends as well. You’ll need each other. You’ll fit right in with them, and I’m sure they’ll take good care of you, as you’ll take of them. I know it will be difficult at first, but Lu, don’t let your own grief blind you to what the future can hold. I might have my future stolen from me, but you’ve got so much to live for, a heart so big I think mine can’t even begin to compare, and I want you to be happy, and loved. Please, don’t close out your heart, okay?_  
_I love you, very very much. Don’t feel guilty for anything, as I know you do, and don’t think you’re not deserving of crying or loving me the way you do. We’re sisters, born from the same blood and made of the same soul. I know we weren’t always together but I’ve no doubt that, even when you didn’t remember me, I never left your heart, as you were in mine._  
_With much love,_  
_Anna H._ ”  
Lucy tried to blink back the tears as she finished reading her sister’s letter, but they began to cascade down her face anyway, just as she noticed there was something else written at the bottom of the page.  
“ _PS_ ”, it read, “ _this is Natsu now, hey Lucy! Can’t wait to meet you. Anna’s been gushing about you forever now, and I know Anna wouldn’t lie about how awesome you are. I hope you can do as she says and let us in a little, I promise I’ll take good care of you!_ ”  
Feeling the tears begin to build higher and her chest begin to hurt, Lucy turned on her side and clutched the letter to her chest as she began to cry, small sobs leaving her as she curled up as much as she could. She was so engrossed in it she didn’t hear the door open and close softly, and only realized she wasn’t alone when she felt the bed dip behind her and a hand softly pet down her hair. She wanted to yell that she wanted to be left alone, but couldn’t find the strength to even whisper the words amidst her sobs.  
“I see you found the letter,” Natsu’s voice came, and somehow Lucy wasn’t surprised; she’d figured he’d be the one to try and see her when she’d asked to be alone, despite Erza’s words. “Anna had a lot more she wanted to say, but most of it was stupid so I couldn’t write it down.” The male’s voice was soft as he continued to pet her hair down, and Lucy found herself entranced in his tone, and by his touch. She felt her tears begin to flow slower until they came to a stop. “Look, I know I’ve been actin’ a little weird and too familiar, but it’s not ‘cause I think you’re Anna,” he explained, and Lucy took a deep breath as she closed her eyes, letting his voice wash over her. “I promised her I’d look after you when she died, and I have every intention of following through... not just ‘cause I promised, but ‘cause from what I’ve heard from her, and what I’ve seen from you today, you do seem to need me. And I think I need you too.”  
Lucy opened her eyes at the admission, turning her head to glance at him. He was blushing slightly, she could tell, and was avoiding her eyes almost as if he was too embarrassed to look at her, or see what she thought of his words. Slowly, she forced her body to turn so she was laying on her back instead of on her side, just so it’d be easier for her to see him. His hand was still on her head, slowly massaging her scalp this time, and she felt relaxed like this. Despite barely knowing this man, she felt safe in his company; maybe it was because her sister had grown up with him, had told Lucy so much about how good of a person he was, or maybe it was because he felt warm and comforting naturally, but the blonde allowed herself to enjoy this for the time being.  
“You need me? How so?”  
“Uh.” Lucy saw Natsu blush a little harder, and forced her arm up so she could at least drape it over his legs, her hand holding onto the ends of his shirt as he looked back down at her. “I just... Anna talked about you so much, it feels like I already know you, in a way. The others always heard about it and they thought maybe meeting you was never gonna happen, but I always wondered, I always believed. I cared for Anna a lot, she was great, but when she talked about you, it made me wanna go out there myself and find you. She knew that. That’s why she had me write that letter, and not anyone else.” Lucy’s hand lost her strength and she dropped it on Natsu’s hand, but he made sure that the hand that wasn’t on her hair held it instead, looking down at their hands in wonder.  
“Is that stupid? Wanting to get to know someone just because they sound like they’d be good for you? Even before Anna met you again, she was always talking about how you were such a loving child, and I wished I’d gotten to meet you too. Then you reconnected and she kept telling us about your apartment, about how many different books you’d read and how much your smile resembled your mother’s, how you’d help out at your local orphanage anytime you had a chance, and I was taken by it. She told us how much of a sore loser you were, and how you got really demanding when you were drunk, and you’d purposely sing off key when she was singing just to let her shine.” Lucy saw the edge of a smile on Natsu’s lips as he laced his fingers through hers, and her heart started beating faster. “I know you barely know me, but I feel like I’ve known you for years, already. When you sat today and started to sing, I knew it was you right away, and I almost stopped playing just so I could say hi to you,” he chuckled lightly, and Lucy couldn’t really believe what she was hearing. Was he confessing to her even though they’d met just a few hours ago? What was this?  
A sudden knock on the door had Natsu break out of his quiet mood, grumbling as he got up from the bed. His distance left her cold, and Lucy frowned to herself, thinking about how she really shouldn’t be feeling this way already. Although Anna had talked a lot about the man, Lucy felt that really wasn’t enough to be this entranced by him; she needed to get to know him from him, from moments they spent together, not just because her sister had said so many wonderful, and some downright dumb, things. She watched through half-lidded eyes as Natsu opened the door and took a tray from one of his friends, closing it once more with his hip before he walked back to the bed. He sat down next to her once more, the tray sitting on his lap.  
“I know you want to rest, but you gotta eat something too,” he said, nodding down at the tray full of food. “I went a little overboard but just leave what you don’t want right now. Can you sit?” Lucy wanted to say she could, but decided being honest was the best policy and simply shook her head. She watched as Natsu put the tray on the floor by his feet, before turning to Lucy and holding out his hands towards her waist. “Don’t freak out and kick me, yeah?” He grinned, his teeth on full show as his hands grabbed at her waist to hoist her up into a sitting position. She was sure, then, that Anna had told her about how she’d kicked a boy who’d tried to grab her at a school dance so hard he had to go home straight away, and she was suspended for a full week.  
“I couldn’t kick you even if I wanted to,” she mumbled, obviously embarrassed, even more so as she heard the man chuckle. She frowned at him, eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t seem to mind, instead grabbing the tray again and sitting it on her lap. She noticed he wasn’t wearing any shoes as he copied her position on the bed, back resting against the headboard as his legs extended next to hers, his shoulder touching hers as he sat by her side. “Thank you,” she whispered anyway, her arm shaking slightly as she reached for a half of a sandwich she spotted on a plate - she guessed it had cheese and ham in it, and she could do with eating that for now.  
“Do you, uh...” Lucy struggled a little with her hold on the sandwich, and watched Natsu grab it instead, firmly. “I’ll feed you.” She looked at his reddening face, mirroring her own blushing cheeks, and opened her lips to refuse. “You’re... Look, it’s nothing weird but you look like you’re having a hard time even picking this up,” he commented with a frown, and Lucy couldn’t deny him when he looked so concerned. “Seriously, how long has it been since you’ve eaten? Or slept?” He sounded like he was really worried, and Lucy felt bad. She sighed ever so slightly.  
“I think I haven’t eaten since my sister, Cana, went to see our parents. She force-fed me some sort of weird soup she made, I can’t even remember if it was good or not,” the blonde admitted, her hand falling to her side again. “I don’t know when’s the last time I slept either... I mean, I fell asleep on the train ride here but I wasn’t really resting, my brain just kept showing me Anna and I’m sure if the train wasn’t moving at high speed I would’ve been thrown out for screaming so loud as I broke out of that stupid nightmare.” She felt Natsu’s hand on her cheek and glanced at him, reading the understanding look in her eyes very well. She hadn’t told Cana about the nightmares or about how often she forgot to eat, so it was somewhat of a relief to let it out. She opened her lips to accept the piece of the sandwich Natsu had broken off for her, slowly chewing on it as she looked at him.  
“I can understand what you mean,” he said gently, breaking off another piece when he noticed Lucy swallow, and offering it to her once again. “I was like that when my dad died. He disappeared when I was still a kid, but I managed to find him again when I was seventeen. As it turns out, he’d gotten injured on a job and got stuck in some kind of a coma for a while, and when he came to and tried to find me again no one would tell him where I was.” Lucy saw Natsu’s eyes glimmer with sadness, and wished she was strong enough to lift her hand to his face to caress the pain away. “When he found me, I was close to eighteen and Fairy Tail was a good place to live so he was gonna wait till I was eighteen so we could live together again, but he got killed before he could. He was a detective, y’know? This dude he’d put away in prison escaped, and hunt him down till he killed him. I watched it happen.”  
“Natsu...”  
“It’s okay, I can talk about it now.” The pink-haired boy glanced at Lucy and smiled, offering her another bite of the sandwich. “I didn’t sleep well for a long while after that, though. Every time I went to sleep I dreamt about it and woke up screaming, so I stopped sleeping altogether. I used to come here a lot to hang out with Anna until she went to sleep, and she tried to sing me into a dreamless sleep every night, but it never worked. Eventually, Erza had to knock me out for my brain to allow itself to shut down through the night. I went to a lot of therapy, they tried a few different meds and some of them worked. I don’t take them anymore, and some days I still can’t sleep straight without waking up in a cold sweat, but I’m doing a lot better.”  
Lucy chewed on the piece of sandwich in her mouth, not even registering the flavors of it, and forced it down so she could speak softly.  
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” she whispered sincerely, head tilting towards his. “It doesn’t quite sit right with me that you’re here comforting me when you’ve gone through all that, though...” She confessed, feeling Natsu tilt his head towards her and nudging to top of her head with his nose at her words, almost comfortingly. “I know what you’re gonna say, I know, logically, that I’m allowed to grieve and to feel comforted and to not be alone, but my not-so-rational half of my brain doesn’t quite accept it just yet. I’m sure that, with time, I’ll be able to. I think I just need a little time.”  
“Take as long as you need. I’ll be your friend through all that, if that’s what you want,” Natsu said, and Lucy couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips. She would admit, yes, that she needed a friend. She loved her adoptive family with everything she had, but she needed someone new, someone she could rely on without feeling like such a bother. She was sure she’d feel like a weight over Natsu’s life eventually, but for now, she told herself she’d accept his friendship, as well as the friendship from the rest of Anna’s closest friends.  
Maybe that was selfish of her, but, as she thought over Anna’s words in her last letter, she realized it was okay to do so.


	2. Hanging // Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This second chapter is a bit late, because work hasn't been easy, but here it is!  
> Also, I should clarify oneeee tiny thing - I've taken some liberty regarding Fiore in this fic. As in, this is set in our modern world, and Fiore is kind of like Canada. In this, Fiore's an island between Asia and America, and, much like Canada, its population speaks two languages - japanese and english. Magnolia is a mainly english-speaking town, but most people speak japanese as well (although Lucy doesn't know this); Crocus is an english-speaking town, and almost no one speaks japanese. So, most of the time in this, they're speaking english - except for when stated otherwise. Hope that's okay!

A few weeks had passed since Lucy had met Anna’s best friends and inherited her house and old piano - which was a thing of beauty, shining darkly in the living room of her sister’s old apartment just begging to be played. Lucy hadn’t found the courage to, still too shaken to touch the instrument, even. She’d decided that her life in Crocus could be left behind just a few days into her vacation days, and had made all arrangements necessary so she could move to the much quieter Magnolia. She’d cancelled the room she reserved at the inn and stayed a few days in her new apartment, getting used to the feeling of her new home - and it hadn’t been all that hard, since Anna and Lucy’s taste in decor wasn’t far too different, and the little she’d wanted to change she’d been able to do so with the help of Natsu, Gray, Juvia, Erza and Jellal.  
Finding a job, luckily, also hadn’t been difficult - although she hadn’t wanted to feel like she was simply a replacement for her older sister, she ended up taking up the vacant spot she’d left at the library, instantly making a new friend in her co-worker, Levy McGarden. The tiny woman was a kind one, but also fierce, and her husband showed just that - Gajeel was a scary man, all buff and full of piercings, but Lucy had seen enough to know that was a simple front; behind closed doors, she’d seen the way the black-haired man dotted on Levy, eyes all full of love as he’d teased her and held her close to him. Lucy was glad for her friend, glad to see these two people so happy and in love, as she knew neither had had the easiest of lives.  
Of course, not everything was going that well. Lucy still forgot to eat most times, only doing so because either Levy or Natsu would tell her it was time for a meal, and she still spent most of her time awake, sleep only ever washing over her when she was too tired to keep her eyes open. There was a day, one single exception, when she’d fallen asleep before she felt like she’d pass out from exhaustion, and that had been on a single night Natsu had decided to invade her new home as if he also owned it, and had sat by her side as she laid in bed, softly singing her an unfamiliar tune. She’d fallen asleep to the sound of his voice, and when she’d woken in the middle of the night and he was no longer there, she hadn’t been able to go back to sleep, a pang of disappointment tugging at her heart.  
Still, Lucy had made it through her days, and had finally finished moving all the important things she owned to her new home.  
As a way of celebration, Erza had thought it a good idea for them to head over to a karaoke bar, and none of the others in the group had disagreed; they could drink a little, sing to their hearts’ content, and just enjoy each other’s company. Lucy invited Levy and Gajeel to go along as well, wanting to include her new friend into what she already considered her own friend group, and had smiled genuinely when Levy had agreed with no hesitation, despite Gajeel’s grumbling.  
So, the eight of them found themselves sitting around a long table, their drinks already half-consumed as they talked to each other. The girls had ended up discussing a book they’d all read recently, and the boys, with the exception of Jellal who just looked like he’d give anything to be home instead of there, were discussing some sort of fight they’d all seen on TV. It was a lively conversation on both ends, but it all quickly came to an end as the karaoke requests were open, books with song choices passed to each table at the bar. Lucy was the first to grab the book, a slight flush to her cheeks and an easiness she hadn’t felt in a while flowing through her veins along with the alcohol she’d already consumed.  
The blonde skimmed over the list, realizing that this bar had a very vast choice - there were the classics, the songs everyone picked, but also in there she found some lesser known gems that she loved. There were big artists, small artists, and a little bit of every genre, from older to newer songs. It was a hard choice to make, but Lucy’s eyes were drawn to a song she only dared sing alone in her room, before, and, a little inebriated already, ended up writing it down first on her list of choices. She handed the book to Jellal, who was to her left, once she had three songs written down, and went back to her conversation with Levy, completely forgetting about her song choice until it was time to go on stage.  
“Alright everyone, thank you all so much for joining us tonight! We’ve got a few regulars here, of course, but I see some new faces too!,” the deejay said, and some people cheered in the crowd. Lucy was only half-listening, taking a sip of her second drink by then. “And we’ll start right with one’a those, just because I like this song choice particularly. Lucy Heartfilia, come on up! Give us your best rendition of Hanging!”  
Lucy grinned as her name was called, and she rolled her eyes at her friends’ cheers and hollers as she made her way up to the small stage, which was just by their table. As she was handed the microphone she smiled sweetly, thanking the man as he retreated back to his spot behind the various electronic machines he used to control the music.  
Natsu, who had been sitting on the other side of Lucy, watched her with a soft smile; she looked so gleeful to be going up on stage, he was sure that, if she so wished, she could make a future for herself simply from singing. She had the voice for it, from what he’d heard before, and her innocence resembled Anna a lot, which he found kind of funny. He watched as she grabbed the microphone, eager to learn about her sing choice, which he didn’t recognize just from the title. He watched the lights dim slightly, and suddenly, as the drums kicked in softly along with the bass, he felt his heart stop in his chest as he saw Lucy’s demeanor change.  
Lucy swung her hips to the beat marked by the two instruments, and Natsu was instantly enchanted by her. She was wearing a simple blouse buttoned all the way to the top, a big blue bow falling from her neck, and dark jeans, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Over the course of the weeks he’d known her, he’d seen her in much more revealing outfits, but then and there he thought she looked the sexiest he’d ever seen her. As she began breathing into the microphone, in time with the beat, he felt some kind of heat cruise his blood vessels, traveling all across his body.  
“[ _Blue one,_ ” she began singing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAEZ6U3jGmM), voice low and sultry as she pointed at Jellal with mirth in her eyes, “ _he’s a little chiller, easy to take the edge of her touch..._ ” She looked at Natsu next, the mirth disappearing as she pointed at him. “ _Pink one, he’s a buzz killer... this trick, stops me from feeling too much..._ ” She licked her lips and turned to the rest of the crowd, her voice rising a little in volume as she continued to sing. “ _This place stays the same, what’re we gonna do in the pouring rain, huh?_ ” As she finished singing, the guitar was struck twice and she shook her head, hair flowing from side to side before she swept it away in a slow motion. “ _You-who, Mary Jane, now are you gonna come for a dance today?_ ” This time, she headbanged as the guitar was struck again in two quick chords.  
“ _Hanging by a thread, she said, where’d you wanna go? Where’d you wanna go? Where’d you wanna go?_ ” She began dancing slowly to the beat once again, hips swinging wider as she raised her hand above her head, some hairs falling out as she lifted it higher. “ _Some days never end, uh, depends, where’d you wanna go? Where’d you wanna go? Where’d you wanna go?_ ” As it went into a small guitar solo, she closed her eyes as she continued her seductive dance, and Natsu could see nothing but her. Everything else around him disappeared, none of it mattered as long as Lucy was there, singing and dancing with no cares in the world.  
“ _It’s true, they can’t get us down forever, you say, but hell I swear I don’t know... You are through, I’m change into the river, ‘cause I, I didn’t wanna go home_!” She vocalized slightly at the end, ending her line in a half-shout that sent a chill down Natsu’s spine. He leant forward slightly, almost hypnotized with Lucy’s voice as much as her moves. “ _Goodbye, don’t explain, I don’t wanna know what anyway!_ ” She bent and headbanged in time with the guitar once again, lifting only her head as she kept her curved position to sing the next part. “ _You-who Mary Jane, now are you comin’ round for a dance today, yeah? Uh..._ ”  
Once more, Lucy went into the chorus, this time ending it with a soft half-moan, before the song went into an instrumental break, which allowed her to dance around freely, twirling and nodding her head, the hand which wasn’t roaming the microphone mimicking the flow of the guitar in the air around her, and, for a few moments, over her body as she let it roam up her side. Natsu’s eyes had darkened considerably as he watched her, feeling like a snake being charmed by her, and she seemed to have noticed as she stepped down from the small stage and closer to him until the song died down. As she reached him, her hand lifted his head slightly by the chin and her face got closer and closer, as if she was leaning in for a kiss.  
“ _Let’s dive into this hole together, like this, and hope we never come out..._ ”  
Natus was enraptured, her sultry voice and heavy tone in her words wrapping themselves around his limbs, rendering him putty in her hands. When she pulled away he felt like a puppet whose strings had been cut off, unable to pull himself up into a straighter position so he didn’t seem so desperate. He watched her as she walked back to the stage as she went into the chorus again, his eyes taking in her figure before she turned back around.  
“ _Hanging by a thread,_ ” she stepped further away, “ _she said, where’d you wanna go? Where’d you wanna go? Where’d you wanna go?!_ ” As she faced everyone once more, Natsu finally found his own will and sat up a little straighter, licking his lips as he continued to watch her. “ _Some days never end, she said! Where’d you wanna go? Where’d you wanna go? Where’d you wanna go? Oh, oh!_ ” Lucy gave one final headbang, ending the song in a bow, and as soon as everyone began to clap and cheer, it was almost like a spell had been broken - Lucy was back to her soft, innocent self as she smiled and blushed lightly, and Natsu, well... Natsu was still entranced by her, but now he could breathe properly.  
As Lucy gave back the microphone and bounced back to the table, she noticed Natsu still staring at her in silence, and her blush deepened further. She’d embarrassed herself more than enough for a whole month, insinuating herself on him much heavier than she thought she would, but she hadn’t been able to help it - the song’s rhythm had always made her feel a little frisky, and seeing him there, looking at her with admiration, she hadn’t been able to control her own emotions. Over the time they’d gotten to know each other, she’d grown more and more attached, and every little thing she learned about him cemented her feelings for the pink haired male.  
They hadn’t spoken of his confession ever since the day they’d met, but Lucy had been a little afraid to - what if he’d completely gotten over it as he’d gotten to know her? Surely, there were much better options for Natsu in terms of women he could be dating. Someone who wasn’t so loud or acted upon instinct so often; someone who could sleep and eat without help or reminders; someone who hadn’t kicked him in the shin in a scare as he’d tried to tap her shoulder when he’d spotted her in the town square one morning. She grimaced slightly at the memory but laughed as she reached her seat, seeing Erza’s inquisitive look, mixed in with a bit of jealousy.  
“I’m so sorry Jellal, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that,” she apologized as she noticed Jellal still looking embarrassed from when she’d first called attention to him and his blue hair. She’d thought it was quite funny to match the beginning of the song to the man’s hair, but as she spotted Erza’s jealousy, she grinned sheepishly at her. “Erza, I promise I’m not out to steal him from you,” she tried to ease the woman, but turned as she heard a loud laugh from the other side of the table - Gajeel’s fault.   
“Oh, don’t worry,” he commented, smirking wide, “I think we all saw who you’re out to steal.”  
Lucy’s entire face flushed by then, and she dared a quick glance at who she knew Gajeel was talking about - Natsu’s face matched his hair in color, but he was staring at her, still, as if he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was quick to look away, hearing Gray snicker from next to Gajeel, and looked back at Erza in the hope that she would understand quickly and drop the subject. When she saw the glimmer of mischief in her eyes, Lucy knew it was a lost cause - she’d revealed too much in just one song, slightly lost to the alcohol, but still fully aware of all she’d done.  
She opened her lips to retort, but before she could she heard the disk jockey call out Natsu’s name so he could go on stage next and sealed her lips, looking at him as he got up from her side. She watched him walk the short distance to get his microphone and put it up to his lips, nodding at the man behind the music so it began counting him in.  
[“ _I don’t wanna sleep,_ ” he began singing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FKZtt6C174), his voice a little rough but beautiful nonetheless. Lucy had only heard him sing that one time, his backing vocals to her pain barely registering, but now she could tell Natsu was a pretty good singer as well. “ _‘Cause I’ve had enough... of that same ugly dream... I just can’t switch it off..._ ” He looked very serious by now, the theme and tune of the song taking over his usual happy-go-lucky personality. “ _Now, I don’t wanna know... ‘cause I’m sick of the sound... Misery’s on repeat... now you’re hanging around..._ ”  
Lucy watched Natsu look at her and gulped slightly, his eyes stuck on her as he sang his next lines.  
“ _But I need some medication, tell me you’ve got what I need. I know you’ve got the cure antidote hidden up your sleeve._ ” He looked away from her then, captivating the crowd as he continued into the chorus, eyes flickering over the people watching him. “ _I just can’t help myself thinking you’re with someone else - sick to the bone, I don’t wanna sleep... I read the warning sign, you said I’d be alright; left on my own, I don’t wanna sleep..._ ”  
Lucy’s brown eyes followed Natsu’s movements as he stepped off the little stage and he leaned against a table nearby casually, glancing at the woman sitting there; Lucy glanced at her as well, feeling a surge of what she could only guess was jealousy as she noticed the woman’s skin redden at Natsu’s look. She was a beautiful woman, with short white hair and shining blue eyes, and Lucy wanted nothing more than to rush there and pull Natsu away from her.  
“ _I’ve waited so long..._ ” The pink-haired man kept singing, his eyes on the other woman, making Lucy’s blood boil under her skin. “ _Forever counting down..._ ” He looked away from the other girl, down, and Lucy felt like a deer in headlights as she saw him look at her once again, most likely noticing the narrowed eyebrows and slight frown she had on her face. Still, he sang on undisturbed, eyes sincere. “ _Thinking of all the ways... I could get you back around..._ ” Lucy watched him pull away from the table and begin walking towards her, her heart palpitating faster. “ _But I need some medication, tell me you’ve got what I need. I know you’ve the cure antidote hidden up your sleeve!_ ” Before he could reach the table, or Lucy, he turned back to go to the stage.  
“ _I just can’t help myself, thinking you’re with someone else! Sick to the bone, I don’t wanna sleep... I read the warning sign, you said I’d be alright; left on my own I don’t wanna sleep..._ ” he stood on the small stage once more, facing the crowd once more as the song progressed into a short instrumental, only interrupted by Natsu’s whispering in the middle of it. “ _I don’t wanna sleep..._ ” He sang, sounding almost desperate. He grabbed at the shirt over his chest then, voice louder as he pleaded with his words. “ _I can’t switch it off, think I’ve had enough. I can’t switch it off - I think I’ve had enough!_ ” The instrumental took over then, and Natsu moved along to the rhythm set by the song.  
He went into the chorus once more, and Lucy watched him move around slightly to the beat of the song, which had become slightly heavier as the song progressed. As the chorus came to a close, his eyes found hers again, and she felt a shiver rush down her back as his voice lowered considerably into the microphone as he sang the closing lines.  
“ _I don’t wanna sleep... ‘cause I’ve had enough... Of the same ugly dream... I just can’t switch it off..._ ”  
As soon as the last chord played out, the people around her began clapping and cheering, and Lucy found herself copying them without much thought. Natsu had been great, voice beautiful and charming, and his way of captivating a crowd was simple, but very effective. She couldn’t look away from him, much like he hadn’t stopped looking at her during her song, and after, and she realized maybe it would be wise if they had a conversation about what was going on between them. She watched him return to her side, grinning from ear to ear as if he hadn’t just done all that, and saw him lean back on the bench on their side of the booth, left arm spreading over the back of it, the heat it emanated reaching Lucy’s shoulders through her blouse.  
“Jeez, Fire Breath, could you have been a little more obvious there?”  
Lucy snapped her head in Gray’s direction, watching him smirk at Natsu, and then at her as he saw her turn to him.  
“None of your business, Ice Princess,” Natsu replied from Lucy’s right, and she could hear a certain tightness in his voice which seemed to be enough to shut Gray’s teasing down.  
She felt bad, in that moment. She’d known from the very start that Natsu nurtured some sort of feelings for her; she wouldn’t dare call it love, because she didn’t think it could be love when he hadn’t even met her when he began growing those feelings. She could call it a crush - she knew Natsu had a crush on her from hearing her sister talk about her, look at the few pictures the two of them had together, from before and after their separation. She’d known he’d wanted to get closer to her, possibly try and test the waters on a relationship, yet she’d done nothing for the whole month that had passed since they’d met. It’s not that she didn’t want to, because she did - Natsu was everything she could want in a man, and then some; but she was afraid, hesitant to tie him down to her when she was full of problems, and there were so many beautiful women out there more deserving of him.  
The thought made her glance once more at the other table, where she found the white-haired woman Natsu had sung to looking at him. Lucy could still see the slight blush on her cheeks, and watched as one of the girls with her whispered something in her ear that made her blush harder and give a little nod. She glanced at Natsu but he was now engrossed in a conversation with Jellal over some new equipment they’d been looking into for their band sessions in the town square, unaware that the white-haired woman was getting up and walking over. Lucy’s heart began pounding in her chest as the woman walked closer and closer, and hid her fist under the table as she clenched it tightly, trying to not let through how jealous she was just from the smile the girl was sporting in Natsu’s direction.  
“Uhm, excuse me,” she heard the girl say, and gulped as she saw Natsu and the rest of their friends look at the new voice amidst them. “Sorry I, uh...” The girl seemed to take notice of Natsu’s arm almost dangling over Lucy’s shoulder, and the blonde knew that despite her best efforts she didn’t look exactly impartial to her presence; she was thankful none of their friends was focusing on her, or they’d seen the exact same possessive anger simmering in Lucy’s expression as the other girl was seeing. Still, Lucy realized she chose to dismiss it as her blue eyes flickered back to Natsu. “I just... I was wondering if I could get your number? We could go for a drink one of these days...”  
Lucy almost gawked at how straight-forward the other woman was, but held herself together. She looked at Natsu, though, and watched his expression turn into one of surprise, eyes wide and blinking rapidly, before he concealed it into his usual kind smile. She was preparing herself to hear him accept the other woman’s offer, a pang of sadness bursting through her chest at that moment, but was surprised to see Natsu glance at her instead. She saw his beautiful green eyes flicker over her expression for a few seconds, some kind of hope mixed with glee shining in them as he seemed to read Lucy’s jealousy quite well.  
“Sorry,” he said, before turning to look at the white-haired woman with a sympathetic smile. “I’m taken,” he continued, and this time Lucy couldn’t help her lips from parting in surprise, another blush crossing her entire face. “You seem very nice though, I’m sure there’s bound to be a guy in here who wouldn’t mind going for a drink with you. Good luck!” He said sincerely, and Lucy felt his arm slide from the back of the couch and drop itself on her shoulders, hand sprayed out over her arm as he grabbed her closer to his side. She forced her lips shut and let it happen, her blush almost a permanent color on her face now, and reveled in the warmth of his skin over his shirt, how comfortable it was for her to be tucked under his arm.  
“Oh,” the white-haired woman said, and Lucy glanced back up at her again, watching her blue eyes flicker between Natsu and herself, “I didn’t realize, I am so sorry.” The woman bowed slightly before rushing away back to her table, and Lucy felt a little bad. She and Natsu really weren’t a thing, so deceiving her like that seemed a little mean.  
She expected Natsu to let go of her as soon as the woman was gone, no longer needing to be holding Lucy to make the other believe he was taken as a way to reject her gently, but his arm stayed firmly pressed over her shoulders. She should’ve tried to get away, but she felt so right against his side, almost as if they were some sort of two-piece puzzle that had just been completed, so she let herself stay. There was nothing wrong with enjoying a little comfort from her friend; she hugged Levy plenty of times as it was.  
As the night went on, Lucy began to sober up as she began drinking less. She didn’t want to get too drunk, in fear of embarrassing herself further than she already had, and decided that being sober with her friends wasn’t that terrifying of an idea, anyway. She was called a couple more times to the stage to sing, this time songs without such implied sexual tension she almost forced herself on the pink haired man next to her, and each time she went, she thought Natsu would stop holding her when she returned; each time, she was wrong. The only time he didn’t wrap his arm around her shoulders and held her to his side was after they’d just finished performing a comedic duet of Barbie Girl, by Aqua - courtesy of none other than Gray, who’d signed them up without their knowledge - and instead of his arm around her, he’d let his hand rest on her knee, fingers drawing random patterns on her jeans.  
Erza and Jellal were the first to leave, the blue haired man hoisting up his fiancée as she had had a bit too much to drink and was plastered, mumbling about something or the other as Jellal carried her away with an amused smile; Lucy could see in his eyes how much he loved the redhead, and once again felt giddy to see such love between the two. The rest of the group stayed for another half hour before they all called it a night, the two other couples going to their own homes, which left Natsu walking Lucy home, despite her insisting she didn’t need it.  
The blonde was completely sober by then, hanging tightly to the jacket she had wrapped around her as she felt her heart try to break out of her chest. Natsu hadn’t touched her since they left the bar, and Lucy wondered if that was because he was feeling nervous, like she was, or if it was simply because the white-haired woman was no longer in sight. In any case, despite how warm the night was, she felt a slight chill from not having his arm around her any longer. She wanted to nudge him into holding her, wanted to let him know she’d been watching him this whole month and wanted to try and have their relationship head in a different direction from the relationships she had with everyone else in their friend group, but the words wouldn’t come up.  
“Hey Luce, we’re here,” he eventually said, and the blonde looked up to see that, indeed, they’d reacher her apartment building. She cleared her throat, nodding a little and turning to Natsu once again. He was stuck on the sidewalk, hands buried in the pockets of his long vest, which he’d thrown over his t-shirt just for style, as he looked up at the building. “You mind if I stay over tonight? Don’t really feel like walking all the way back to my place.” Lucy watched him for a few seconds, confused - Natsu had barged into her apartment at night quite a few times already, never asking for permission, and she’d never really minded, or asked him to leave, even though he was always gone by the time morning came; she wondered if him asking her if he could stay meant he wanted to stay through the morning as well.  
She saw him turn his face towards hers as he waited for the answer, and gave a small nod, a smile playing at the edge of her lips. Despite all that had happened at the karaoke bar, the teasing and the prodding at what could be a future for them without so much as saying it, Lucy really enjoyed her night. She’d had fun like she hadn’t in a very long time, and had been able to forget about the darkness swirling in her chest, trying to consume her soul; if she could prolong the feeling a little longer, she was going to allow herself to. She watched Natsu smile widely back at her, obviously glad she hadn’t said no, and before she could stop him his hand was already pulling on hers as he dragged her up the stairs to the building, and up into her floor once they’d managed to get inside.   
When they reached the door to her apartment, Lucy felt some regret at having to release her hand from Natsu’s grip, but did so so she could unlock the door and let them in. She almost expected him to hold her hand again once they were inside, but he didn’t, instead heading straight to the couch so he could sit, legs spread and head resting against the back of it as he sighed happily. Lucy watched him for a second, and smiled to herself as she took off her jacket and hung it by the door. Her kitten heels clicked against the floor as she walked further into the apartment, but stopped when she heard Natsu’s voice.  
“Hey Luce,” he called, and she stopped to look at him, seeing him watching her with an intense expression, “come here for a sec.” His voice seemed a little different, somehow lower than his normal tone, and Lucy felt compelled to do as he said. She walked over to him, standing between his spread legs with an inquisitive look as he rested his head back once again, eyes closed. “You looked real good tonight,” he commented, and Lucy felt herself blush at the compliment, looking down at her attire - her dark jeans weren’t doing much for her figure as far as she could see, and the white blouse she was wearing was buttoned all the way up, so not much skin was showing; she was sure she’d worn outfits a lot skimpier, around him.  
Before she could question his words, she felt his hand press on her waist and pull her down so she was sitting across one of his thighs, her side pressed into his chest. She felt her heartbeat increase once more as his hand stayed on her waist, and she was sure that if he moved it ever so slightly, her shirt with rise enough for him to touch her skin. She felt something heat inside of her at the thought and tried to shove it away, but as he did just as she thought, she couldn’t back the small gasp that escaped her lips.  
Finally, he opened his eyes and lowered his head to look at her, and she could see the darkness of lust swimming in his orbs. Her tongue darted out to lick at her bottom lip on instinct, and before she could stop it their lips were clashing together in a big mess of a kiss, tongues moving in tandem as Natsu’s hand moved from Lucy’s waist to the side of her face, the other holding her steady as he placed it on the small of her back. Feeling a little uncomfortable, Lucy shuffled around until she was sitting on his lap instead of across it, her legs bent on each side of him, locking him in underneath her. Her own hands moved to his face to hold him close, breaths mingling as they parted their kiss for breath, but never for too long.  
She hadn’t kissed anyone in over six months, hadn’t had sex in just as long, but the motions were still familiar, even if the heat she felt this time around was much higher; she briefly questioned whether it was because Natsu was always warmer than usual, or if it was just because this was Natsu, and she’d thought about being with Natsu like this for quite a while now. She let the lust carry over her body, moving into his own desire as she let it control the flow of the night. When their kisses became even heavier and clothes began to fall, she forced herself to act a little rational and guided him to her room, as the bed felt like a much more comfortable place for where this was headed.  
She let Natsu kiss her skin where he felt like it and did the same in return, drinking in the sight of his toned chest and legs as she went. They continued to explore each other’s bodies with their hands and lips, trying to commit it to memory as if they’d never have a chance to do this again. Natsu worshipped every inch of Lucy’s skin as he pinned her to the mattress, and when he finally pushed into her, after fetching a condom he’d put in his wallet as a leap of faith, he knew he wouldn’t last long. Thankfully, it seemed Lucy wouldn’t either, as he felt her tighten around him as he pushed in and out, his hand touching her right above where they met, gently but desperately urging her over the edge. When she was done, a silent scream on her lips as she came, he pushed in a few more times before he felt himself release into the condom, completely spent.  
Lucy felt Natsu fall on top of her but appreciated the weight as it covered her, her breathing heavy as she lifted her head slightly to kiss the side of his neck. She wanted nothing more than to to sleep like that, but felt him grumble as he lifted himself off of her so he could discard of the protection they’d used, before returning to lay down by her side. Her body felt heavy, limbs a little gelatinous as she moved on her side to drape her arm over his middle and nuzzle her head into his arm.  
Lucy ended up falling asleep just like that, the warmth from Natsu’s side lulling her into a dreamless sleep for that night. As morning broke in the horizon and the sun peeked in through the window, however, she awoke to find herself alone, once again.


	3. Drawing Pins

Three days passed since Lucy and Natsu’s night together, and the blonde was frustrated beyond belief. When she’d woken up alone, she’d figured maybe Natsu had risen first and was either chilling on the couch so he could let her sleep, or in the kitchen preparing breakfast; she’d felt giddy at the thought, finding that if that became a routine between them, she wouldn’t mind it one bit. Yet, when she’d gotten up for a much needed trip to the bathroom, she’d realized the apartment was empty, except for her; Natsu’s clothes, which had been strewn across the floor on the way from the couch to the bedroom, were gone, as well as him.  
At first, she’d thought maybe he had somewhere to be that morning and that was why he had left without a word, or even just a little note, but as she’d left for work and spotted him lazily enjoy a breakfast at what had been Anna’s favorite coffee shop, she’d grown a little angry. That anger had been simmering under her skin as time went on, although she disguised it well, but she knew she was close to a breaking point, and very soon. They’d even gotten together as a group, and he’d not pulled her aside to explain, or to discuss what had transpired between them; he’d treated her just like before, just like nothing had happened.  
She sighed as she walked through the street to the town square, where she liked to sit for as long as an hour after she left work, just so she wouldn’t have to go home straight away. The day at the library had been calm, but she could tell Levy knew something wasn’t well; the blue-haired girl had made sure to keep any of their most excitable customers away from Lucy, much to her appreciation, and had only given her the simplest tasks around, so she wouldn’t have to wreck her brain too much in search of difficult-to-find books.  
Now, as she sat on her usual bench at the town square, looking at the rustling leaves on the tree and enjoying the sun, she couldn’t help but feel her mind begin to rush with many different thoughts about her situation with Natsu. She always made sure to be gone by the time she knew he and the band came to play, but she forgot about that as she spotted a different band set up in a spot nearby, a cardboard sign with the words “singer needed!” placed by one of their small amps. Lucy spotted Gray already heading towards them, followed by the rest of her sister’s band, but she got there first.  
“What kind of singer are you looking for?”  
She wasn’t sure why she was asking, she wasn’t looking to join a band of any sort anytime soon, but maybe her anger was making her want to hurt Natsu in some kind of way, and joining a band that wasn’t his, she mused, might just do the trick. There were only three people to the band asking for a singer, and she focused her eyes on the one up front - a tall, black haired boy with his hair swept in a bang over his right eye. He seemed a little taken aback by her question, which maybe had sounded a little too aggressive, and she eased her face into a kinder smile.  
“Uh,” he rubbed his forearm in thought, glancing at the platinum blonde boy on the drums before he looked once more at Lucy. “One who can sing?” He suggested, and the blonde girl couldn’t help but laugh lightly at his words. She knew maybe it was wiser to turn back now, she had no intention to join the band for real, but she caught sight of the list of audition songs someone had scribbled on a paper next to the cardboard she’d spotted earlier, and one caught her eye.  
“Oh. You mind if I sing Drawing Pins with you?”  
Once again Lucy saw the raven-haired male exchange a look with the drummer, before he gave her a nod. Lucy thanked him quietly and moved to stand behind the microphone, looking around her as they tuned their guitars and set everything up. She noticed that there were some people gathered, like the time she’d sung with her sister’s band, but this time there were four pairs of eyes trained specifically on her - Natsu, Gray, Erza and Jellal were watching her, a hint of betrayal in all of their eyes, but especially bad in Natsu’s narrowed ones. She looked away from it as the blonde drummer hit his drumsticks together at the start of the song, allowing the bass to guide her body into a soft dance.

[“ _Every light is blinding,_ ” she began](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbdBPGTiRKw), feeling already the music take over as her voice crooned out the words, her eyes closing. “ _Every minute lasts all day... Every thought is fighting, they’re not falling into place._ ” She opened her eyes once again, her precious soft expression hardening as she poured her frustration and anger into the song. “ _I’m held down by drawing pins, they pierce skin. Lights are on, but no one’s in when you talk... I don’t feel like I belong here at all..._ ” There was a short pause in the vocals and Lucy’s eyes snapped to Natsu, conveying all the feelings she had for the abandonment she felt after he left her alone, the morning after they gave in to lust.  
“ _Tell me, what you did it, what you did it, what you did it for? ‘Cause I, I, I can’t figure it out! What you did it, what you did it, what you did it for? ‘Cause I, I, I can’t figure it out..._ ” She sang the chorus in a snapping tone, and as she saw his eyes widen she turned away, deciding that maybe she should just ignore his face for the time being; the longer he looked, the angrier she felt. So she took the chance as the song went back to instrumental to look at the people she was singing for, grabbing the microphone from the stand and walking over to the girl on the bass. “ _I could use some magic,_ ” she sang lowly, hips swaying to the sound of the bass, “ _come on Crowley, let me in..._ ” She turned her back on the bassist woman, and walked closer to the black-haired guitarist instead. “ _I’m held down by drawing pins, they pierce the skin. I try not to fall asleep, when you talk... I don’t think that I belong, here at all..._ ”  
Lucy turned to the crowd once more, one hand on the microphone stand as she leaned forward, voice louder and angrier than the first time she went into the chorus, matching the instruments as they became louder and heavier.  
“ _Tell me, what you did it, what you did it, what you did it for! ‘Cause I, I, I can’t figure it out! What you did it, what you did it, what you did it for? ‘Cause I, I, I can’t figure it out!_ ” She ended the chorus in a drawn out note as the song progressed into the bridge. She moved her head to the sound of the guitar and the bass playing on, before the song calmed down considerably, and only the bass and the softest drumming could be heard. Her head was down by then as she began to sing, a hint of sadness in desperation in her words as she almost pleaded. “ _What do I have to do... to be loved, loved by you?_ ” She looked up with doe eyes, finding Natsu’s eyes once again and directing the words at him this time. “ _What do I have to do... to be loved, loved by you?_ ”   
In an instant, she fell to her knees and her expression became angry once more, her frustration mingling with her desperation and her loneliness as she stared right at him, begging for an answer to the question she didn’t dare ask out of song. She knew it was dumb to do things like this, but she found she could only express herself properly through song, or through writing; and as she doubted that writing him a novel about how she wanted him to fall in love with her and take care of her forever was considered even mildly safe, she’d chosen this song which she knew represented it best.  
“ _What do I have to do, to be loved, loved by you?!_ ” She demanded loudly, her voice carrying out her emotions as it weaved with the melody. “ _What do I have to do, to be loved, loved by you?! Tell me, what you did it, what you did it, what you did it for? ‘Cause I, I, I can’t figure it out! What you did it, what you did it, what you did it for? ‘Cause I, I, I can’t figure it out!_ ” Once more, Lucy drew out the note, head falling as the guitar went higher, and just right at the end she jumped in again, looking directly at Natsu once more as she coarsely begged. “ _What do I have to do, to be loved?! Be loved, be lo-o-o-oved..._ ”  
Lucy’s breath came heavily as the song ended, and as cheers erupted from the crowd that had gathered, she couldn’t really find the happiness she’d felt three nights before, at the karaoke bar, when she’d been complimented for a job well done. Nonetheless, she put on a smile as she got back on her feet, disregarding the dirt on her thigh high boots. She turned to the three people she’d sang for, and found the platinum blonde drummer standing from his stool behind his kit, grinning widely at her.  
“That was great!” The man commented, and Lucy gave a small nod in acknowledgement. “I wouldn’t wanna be the guy you sang that for,” he chuckled, and Lucy’s smile twitched ever so slightly. “I’m Sting, by the way,” he held out his hand and Lucy shook it softly, watching as he pointed at his guitarist. “That’s my brother Rogue,” he introduced, and Lucy waved at the boy, “and our friend Yukino,” he introduced the bassist then, and Lucy nodded at her.  
“I’m Lucy,” she said, but before she could go on any further, she felt a warm hand on her wrist, and turned sharply to see Natsu. He had his eyes narrowed in Sting’s direction, mouth set in a firm line, and Lucy realized he looked almost possessive as he tugged her gently closer to him. The motion only seemed to force her anger upwards and she clenched her fists by her side.  
“Luce, let’s go,” Natsu said, almost in a growl, but before Lucy could complain about his tone or start tearing him a new one, he softened his expression and looked down at her. “I guess we need to have a talk,” he mentioned, his eyes apologetic, and Lucy let her anger die down for the moment. She was still pissed at him pretending nothing had happened, at him abandoning her after their night together like she was nothing, but she allowed him to tug her away as he began to walk from the the trio of band mates.  
The blonde walked behind Natsu as he pulled her further away from the crowd and even from their own friends; they walked for a few minutes until they reached the densest part of the park around the town square, and were hidden by the trees around them. Then, and only then, did Natsu release Lucy’s wrist from his hold, and she took that chance to put some distance between them, already feeling her thoughts begin to fog from being so close to him. She took a few steps back and ended up with her back against a tree, sighing as she watched him mull over his own thoughts, one hand messing his hair up further than it already was.  
“I guess I owe you an apology,” he mumbled, and Lucy glared at him as she heard his half-assed words. “I let myself go a little crazy the other day,” he continued, and her stare only hardened as she crossed her arms over her chest. By now, one of her feet was resting against the tree as well, knee up as she struggled not to launch at him and begin screaming at how stupid he sounded, how much it had hurt to wake up alone. “I really shouldn’t have come onto you like that, I’m sorry Luce.” By now, he sounded fully apologetic and dejected, and Lucy felt her anger wean a little. “I took advantage of you, and I’ve been thinkin’ it over and I just feel really bad.”  
“You- what?” Lucy’s brain halted as she rolled the words Natsu had just spoken over in her head, trying to make sense of them. “I- Natsu, are you stupid? You didn’t take advantage of me, you idiot!” Lucy did her best to hold back from moving, afraid that she might really lose it if she didn’t keep her arms firmly crossed. “I wasn’t drunk, I knew what we were doing and I don’t know if you recall, but I was quite into it.” She noticed him look up at her in surprise, and glared harder. “In any case, that’s no excuse to just pretend it didn’t happen. You realize how awful it felt when you just acted like nothing happened? I was going crazy, thinking you’d found me so disgusting you couldn’t even think about it. I saw you having breakfast alone the next morning and thought you couldn’t even stand to stay long enough to say good morning.”  
“Disgusting? Are you insane? How could I ever find you disgusting?” Natsu seemed stuck on that thought, and Lucy’s angry eyes watched as he seemed to think something over in his head; when his eyes stopped changing emotions, she saw them settle on determination as he walked closer. She held her breath as both his arms caged her back against the tree as his hands were planted on each side of her head, and she lowered her leg back to the ground as he pressed his body closer to hers. “You’re gorgeous, Luce,” he whispered, and the blonde wanted to put a stop to this, her stubborn brain wanting him to suffer like she had, but her heart had different ideas, it seemed. “You’re so gorgeous I go crazy just thinking about you, but you’re so damn hot when you sing I can barely think straight,” he continued, and Lucy felt his body heat melt into her as his hands lowered to her waist.  
Before she could push him away, though she wasn’t quite sure she had it in her to, Natsu lowered his lips to hers and Lucy was a goner. All her anger melted away as his skin touched hers, lighting a fire she didn’t know she possessed. In that moment, there was just Natsu, she could only smell him, feel him, see him; her tongue tasted his mouth once more as pressed her harder back against the tree and she lifted her hands to his back, under his shirt, enjoying the feeling of having him so close. She knew they were in a public space and really shouldn’t go any further, but as he nudged a leg between hers, she couldn’t help the small sound she made into his lips.  
That seemed to be all he needed to hear to go further, one of his hands lowering down to the hem of her short skirt and lifting it just enough for him to reach into her womanhood, fingers massaging her sensitive nub and rubbing her as she began to pant into his mouth. Not wanting to leave him hanging, she tried to break out of the fog in her brain as pleasure rumbled through her, and moved one of her hands to the front of his pants, touching his hardening length. From then on, they were a mess of limbs mingling together, clothes lifting so they could touch each other and please each other until they were both satisfied.  
Lucy was sweating when they were both done, hands dirty and clothes askew as she panted heavily, eyes closed and head leaning back against the tree. She was sure there must be small pieces of bark in her hair, and didn’t even want to imagine how that must look like, but before she could worry too much, she felt Natsu pull away slightly to arrange his clothes into a presentable manner, once more.  
“So, just to be sure, you liked that, right?” He asked, and for a second Lucy wondered if he’d hit his head somewhere to even need to ask that, but then opened her eyes and registered his small grin, and she rolled her brown orbs before softly hitting him in the shoulder. “I got it, I got it. Just had to make sure,” he said, and the blonde decided to copy his actions as she tried to make herself look like she hadn’t just had sex against a tree, in a public park. “Look, Luce, if this is something we both want, I think we shouldn’t stop doing it, right? I’ll even treat you to breakfast after, next time.”  
“You better treat me to some food right now otherwise I’ll hit you for real,” she grumbled as she managed to put herself together. She could feel that her underwear was ruined by their actions but decided to live with it for the time being, and did her best to fix her hair so it didn’t look like she’d been hit by a tornado. She heard him laugh but glared at him, although now it was a half-hearted glare, her anger having been forgotten since the moment his lips had touched hers. “I mean that. I haven’t eaten since breakfast this morning ‘cause I was so angry, and I only ate like half a toast because Levy forced me to,” she confessed, and watched guilt cross Natsu’s features.  
“Alright, I’ll treat you to dinner then,” he acquiesced, his arm going over Lucy’s shoulders as he began guiding her away from their spot in the woods. “You wanna go home and change first? I could use a shower, and I’m sure if we went somewhere like this we wouldn’t be allowed in, anyway,” he proposed, and Lucy couldn’t fault his logic. Despite their best efforts, they still looked and smelled like they’d just done something they definitely shouldn’t have, somewhere they most definitely shouldn’t. She nodded and he stopped walking by the edge of the park, releasing her from his hold. “Okay. You head on home then, I’ll stop by my place and shower and stuff, I’ll pick you up in about an hour,” he said, and before Lucy had even realized, he was kissing her cheek and walking away.  
She blinked as she watched him walk away with a spring in his step, before she forced herself to move as well, avoiding the places she saw the largest concentration of people as she walked the path to her own home, all the while wondering already about what she should wear. Should she even be concerned about that? Sure, Natsu was treating her to dinner, and especially after they’d had sex, yet again, she thought maybe it was a date, but he hadn’t actually asked her out. So, was it a date? Should she get dressed up and expect him to pull out all the stops to impress her romantically? Or was he going to go the safe route and take her somewhere comfortable where the two could talk calmly? Her head began to hurt as she began struggling with the many questions in her brain and she groaned, glad that she was so close to her place already.  
Once she reached her apartment, she was quick to slip out of her dirty clothes and put them in the laundry hamper (except for the ruined underwear, which went straight to the trash bin) and head for the bathroom for a relaxing bath. An hour was more than long enough for her to enjoy her bath and decide on what to wear, a simple blue dress she’d owned for a few months but hadn’t had a chance to try out yet, and pull her hair up into a half-up ponytail which she secured with a bow to match the color of her dress. She decided on wearing the same low kitten heels she had worn to the karaoke bar, and found herself with some spare time to spend writing some more of her manuscript.  
Just as she was finishing the chapter, she heard a loud knock on her door and she closed her notebook and put the cap on her favorite pen, shutting them in their drawer before she went to answer the door. She felt a little nervous but kept telling herself it was just Natsu, she had nothing to be nervous about, but the thought slipped away as she opened the door and saw him there - and he wasn’t alone.   
He looked sheepish as his hand messed with the hair on the back of his neck, but Lucy couldn’t focus on that - instead, she was looking at Gray, Juvia, Erza and Jellal behind him, who all wore similar smiles as they greeted her, almost as if they had purposely agreed they’d ruin whatever it was Natsu and Lucy were trying to do together. She flickered her eyes between all the friends until they settled on Natsu, and she took notice that, although he wasn’t too out there, he had gotten a little more dressed up than normal, with a button down shirt with the two top buttons open in a pink color that matched his hair, and black jeans that hugged his legs a little too well. She made sure to be quick in her appraisal of his outfit, not wanting to be caught staring, and then made sure to smile at the group, even if she was confused.  
“Natsu said you two were going out to eat, so we thought we’d tag along,” Erza was the first to break the short silence, her voice full of innocence; Lucy was certain that the redhead wasn’t as dumb as to think they weren’t intruding on something special, but let it slide. “There’s a new place just outside Magnolia we’ve all been dying to try out anyway, and we’ve been waiting for a chance that you’d come along!”  
Lucy couldn’t help her genuine smile as she heard the excitement in Erza’s voice, and simply ushered the people gathered around her door along as she grabbed her purse and walked out of her apartment. Sure, she had been hoping for something different, wishing that she could spend some alone time with Natsu without it ending with them panting, or a misunderstanding, but she could deal with this.  
“You’re definitely buying me breakfast tomorrow morning,” she whispered to him as they began walking side by side, a few steps behind their friends. She heard him chuckle lowly and raised an eyebrow at the pink-haired man. “What?”  
“Already assuming I’m spending the night, huh?” He teased, his boyish grin in full display as he looked down at Lucy. She blushed at the comment, words stammering as she looked down at her feet to avoid his eyes. “It’s okay, I was sorta hoping I could stay tonight,” he whispered in her ear, and the blonde felt something akin to a flame run through her whole body and end at the very top of her fingers. She looked down at her hands, just to make sure she hadn’t spontaneously caught on fire, and as she did, she saw Natsu’s hand inch closer to hers, but never break the distance. She rolled her eyes and reached out herself, and as the two walked towards the restaurant, she felt steady just because their hands were joined, fingers laced.  
After walking for a while, the group of friends reached the restaurant Erza had talked about, and Lucy was impressed with the choice. From what she’d seen so far, she could tell this place wasn’t like the places where they usually ate at; it had an air of royalty to it, almost like it belonged in a special place inside the king’s castle. Lucy blinked at the fancy exterior, and then tilted her head as she felt a tug on her hand from Natsu.  
“Let’s go,” he said tugging her forward. “I made reservations,” he mentioned with a blush, and Lucy realized that, whether or not the rest of the group had joined them, they’d ended up dining here anyway. That really cemented in her brain that, indeed, Natsu had intended dinner tonight to be a date, and it made her huff a little in frustration at their friends; when they wanted, they could be a real nuisance. “Now let’s see if there’s way they can add a few more people to the table.” Natsu looked down at Lucy with a mischievous grin, and the blonde couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that fell from her lips.  
“Wait, what do you mean?!” This time, it was Gray who spoke, turning to look at the pink-haired man. “When you said you had a table, you didn’t— oh...” Gray seemed to realize just then what exactly they’d all just barged in when they invited themselves into the dinner Natsu had casually mentioned he was going to take Lucy for, and smirked. “Oh, I see. Well. Too late to go back now, right? I’m sure they’ll be able to figure something out.” He turned once again towards the restaurant, and opened the door until all six of them were inside.  
The interior was a little less exuberant than Lucy had expected; while it still looked regal, it looked a lot cozier than what she’d thought it would, judging from the building itself. She followed Natsu as he went up to the man who was taking the reservations, and after a few words, they were all led inside and into a round table by a large window that overlooked the canal. Lucy walked by that canal everyday, with her house being right in front of it after all, but from this side, it felt a lot more magical to look out the window and watch the water drift slowly. She smiled as she picked up the menu, the name “Regulus” written in a beautiful font at the front of it, and opened it to look at their choices.  
After they’d all given their orders out to the waitress that’d be serving them that night, they fell into an easy conversation about their day, about their plans for the weekend, and set up plans to go to that karaoke bar once again the following week. It was in the middle of such conversation that Juvia, who usually didn’t refer by anything but ‘love rival’ when talking to Lucy, turned directly to her.  
“Juvia heard from Anna that love riv- you won quite a few talent shows in school,” she commented, and Lucy smiled as she nodded, cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment at having it brought up. “Are you going to sign up the the town’s talent show for the harvest festival, then?” The blue haired woman continued, and Lucy raised an eyebrow, curiosity overtaking her.  
“There’s a harvest festival?” The blonde questioned, earning an enthusiastic nod from Natsu next to her in return. “And a talent show, too?” Once more, the man nodded, and Lucy hummed softly in thought. “I’m not sure I should, Juvia,” she turned her attention back to the blue haired woman, playing with the edge of her napkin as she mulled over the thought. “I mean, it was fun to do it while in high school, but now that I’m working and writing, I don’t think I’d have enough time to prepare anything.”  
“Oh, c’mon Luce!” Natsu interrupted their conversation with a pout, and Lucy glanced at him. “You’ve got a really nice voice as it is, and you play the piano right? It doesn’t have to be anything too complicated, it’s just a fun thing we do every year to entertain the townsfolk. We’d participate as a band if we could, but last year’s winners aren’t allowed to ‘cause we’ll be performing ourselves,” he continued, and blinked twice at her, batting his eyelashes as he gave her puppy dog eyes. “Come on, it’s only a month away and there’s still some empty slots, you should definitely do it!”  
Lucy knew she should say no, she wasn’t really sure she wanted to be participating in that type of event in a town she barely knew, still, and in front of everyone, but she was powerless against Natsu’s begs.  
“Okay, fine, I’ll sign up. If it’s terrible I’ll just say you forced me to,” she ended up saying, much to the delight of her friends. She blushed slightly as she noticed how excited they look for her to be performing in the talent show, and felt loved by all of them; loved for her voice, sure, but loved nonetheless.

At that moment, their dinner started being served, and Lucy noticed that in addition to their order, some other items were being placed on the table, and lifted an eyebrow at their waitress.  
“Compliments of the chef,” the woman said as a way of explanation, and Lucy looked down at the items. There were some complimentary drinks as well, and the blonde narrowed her eyes slightly - why was it that they were being rewarded with so much? Before she could ask, she heard a familiar voice reach her ears and her eyes widened.  
“I didn’t expect to find you here, Princess.” She turned around slightly in her chair, heart stopping for a moment as she saw the man who’d addressed her - she hadn’t seen him in many years, but she felt as if just yesterday they’d said goodbye for the last time. His sandy brown hair was running a little wild, as usual, and his green eyes shone brightly behind his glasses as he smiled. He was wearing what she imagined was his chef’s coat, clad in black as he stood there, waiting a reply. Before Lucy could find her voice, however, he was speaking again. “If I’d known you were coming, I would’ve taken the night off and shown you the view from the VIP room upstairs.”  
Lucy blushed heavily at the man’s usual flirting, moving her chair back slightly so she could get up. She could sense Natsu frozen still next to her but paid him no mind as she adjusted the skirt of her dress before turning to the chef.  
“Loke,” she chastised half-heartedly, unable to keep the smile from her lips as she stepped forward to give the man a hug. She could feel that he’d built up some muscle over the years they hadn’t seen each other as he enveloped her in his arms, but the feeling she used to get whenever he held her was no longer the same; she felt small and comfortable, but not like she’d found her place in the world. “My name’s Lucy, not Princess, we’ve gone over this,” she scolded him with a laugh as she pulled back from him, feeling her friends’ eyes heavy on her back as she held Loke’s hands in hers. “I see the years haven’t been rough on you, and you’re still as flirty as you were in school.”  
“Ah, yes, that hasn’t changed one bit,” the man admitted with a chuckle, “but you knew I only had eyes for you back then,” he reminded her, and she nodded ever so slightly, finally letting go of his hands as she turned back to the people around the table. She could see surprise in Juvia and Gray’s eyes, curiosity in Erza’s, and Jellal could only stare in confusion. She looked at Natsu last, but found that he wasn’t even looking at her, instead choosing to focus his attention on his hands, which she could see were clenched above his lap. “Are these friends of yours, then?”  
“Mmhm,” she acknowledged Loke’s question, smiling as she glanced at him, pointing each person out as she introduced them to him. “That’s Gray and Juvia, Erza and Jellal, and this one right here is Natsu,” she ended up petting the top of Natsu’s head as she called his name, and saw him look up then, a hint of hurt in his dark orbs, which she chose to deal with a little while later. “Everyone, this is Loke, he and I went to school together since we were kids.”  
“Come on, Princess, we did a lot more than go to school together,” he teased once more, poking her side familiarly which made her groan and roll her eyes. “It’s a pleasure to meet all of you, especially you beautiful ladies,” he continued with a charming smile, and Lucy hit his arm as soon as he was done, seeing straight away both Gray’s and Jellal’s eyes narrow slightly in his direction. “Don’t worry, you’re the most beautiful of them all, Princess.” He grinned once again at Lucy and she rolled her eyes once more.  
“Stop that,” she said in a warning tone, but still kind. She could never bring herself to be mean to the man, even if he often said things he was definitely not supposed to; she knew he was always doing only his best to make sure everyone around him lived happily, even if that meant he often got slapped for being a little too caring. “I imagine you wouldn’t be able to join us for dinner, right? It’s been a long time, I’d love to catch up,” she said to him, seeing his apologetic smile as he shook his head. “And the VIP room is out of the question as well?” She joked, only then realizing her hand was still in Natsu’s hair as she felt him pull away from her briskly. She looked down at him to try and let him see she was only playing around, not wanting to upset him further, but he wouldn’t look in her direction once again.  
“I’m afraid I’m not the company you should take up there, but if you’d like some privacy I can allow you and your friend to use it.” Once more, Loke’s words brought a blush to Lucy’s cheeks, and she looked away from Natsu as she saw him glance up at Loke. “Oh, so I was right then. Worry not, my heart no longer longs for this beautiful Princess right here,” the sandy haired man continued, “even though I will always care for her deeply, so it is best you take good care of her, otherwise I will show you exactly where she learned her Lucy kick from.” Despite how polite he sounded, Lucy heard the underlying warning in Loke’s voice and smiled genuinely, even if she was embarrassed beyond belief in that moment.  
“Enough, Loke,” she intervened before Natsu could reply, placing a hand on her ex-boyfriend’s arm. “You should probably head back to the kitchen before it burns down in your absence, we’d like to enjoy our dinner now.” She saw the small pout on Loke’s lips and chuckled. “I promise I’ll let you know before we leave so we can exchange numbers and arrange for a meet up another day,” she appeased him, watching as his bright smile returned to his face. “Go, now,” she ushered him away, watching the man leave with a wave, their pink-haired waitress following him, before she sat down once again at the table, which seemed stunned into silence.  
“Old boyfriend?” Erza was the one to break the silence, and Lucy nodded as she grabbed her glass and took a sip of her drink.  
“We dated through middle and high school,” Lucy explained casually, a smile tugging at her lips. “Loke was my first love,” she admitted, a slight tint to her cheeks. “We haven’t seen each other ever since he moved away from Crocus to pursue his dream of being a chef, around five years ago. We didn’t keep in touch, so it was a nice surprise to find him here. It’s good to know he’s living his dream.” Putting down her glass, which she’d been swirling slightly as she watched the drink move inside it, Lucy smiled wide at her friends. “At least one of us is, I’m glad,” she gave a small nod.  
“What do you mean?” The words came from her side, and she turned to look at Natsu, whose eyes were slightly narrowed as he looked at her. “I mean, you’re not quite there yet but aren’t you writing your first book like you wanted to? Aren’t you happy having us around, and working surrounded by books? Is there something else you’re not getting?” He looked concerned then, as if he’d do just about anything to make sure all of Lucy’s dreams became a reality.  
“Natsu,” she said his name gently, full of emotion as she reached for his hand under the table. “There are many things missing, I had a lot of different dreams growing up, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less happy as it is right now,” she eased him, squeezing his hand in hers softly. “Back when I was in middle school, for example, I dreamed of living in a big mansion and run down the corridors in a long, full skirt dress just for the fun of it, but it was something I knew would never become a reality, and I’m not hurt by it. There are many dreams inside of me I have yet to live, but so long as my reality is just as good, I don’t mind.”  
“Oh! Juvia always wanted to do that too!”  
And, just like that, the conversation was steered once again into the usual easiness the group of friends shared when together. They talked about their silliest dreams (like Natsu’s wish that he could breathe fire) and about their more serious ones, as well. They talked about their hopes for the future, where they wanted to go with their careers, with their music, and where they thought they’d be ten years from that moment. They vowed that they’d still be together by then, all six of them like a makeshift family that couldn’t be separated.  
They ate as they spoke, enjoying the marvelous food Loke had prepared for them, as well as the drinks they’d chosen. Lucy had steered away from anything alcoholic to avoid saying more than she would’ve wanted, and made sure none of their friends drank enough to make a fool of themselves. By the time they were done with the food, Lucy excused herself from the table to go to the washroom, and stopped when she saw their waitress to ask her to tell Loke they’d be leaving soon, but found it wasn’t needed as the man himself left the kitchen once again, this time wearing a suit instead of his work clothes.  
“Wait, you need to see the view from up in the VIP room first!” He’d told her when she’d mentioned they’d be leaving soon, and she lit up as she remembered how he’d mentioned how beautiful it was up there. “Go grab that pink-haired fool and meet me in here, I’ll let you enjoy some peace and quiet up there for as long as needed.” He winked at her and Lucy groaned in embarrassment, hitting him on the shoulder before she went back to the table. She nibbled on her bottom lip all the way there, thinking about how she would excuse herself and Natsu from their friends’ company so they could enjoy a few moments alone, but when she reached the table she only found the pink haired male there.  
“Uh. Where’d everyone go?” She asked in confusion.  
“Home,” Natsu replied, slightly leaning against the back of a chair as he waited for her. “Said they had stuff to do early tomorrow morning. You ready to go?”  
“Not just yet. Loke’s letting us go check out the VIP room he talked about.” Lucy blushed once again, smiling shyly at the pink-haired man. “I thought you and I could check it out and talk just the two of us there. Was actually wondering how we were gonna ditch the rest of the group without being too mean, but they’ve seemed to take care of that.” She took a deep breath and then smiled, holding out her hand to her friend, and maybe potential lover. “Wanna go?”  
Lucy watched as Natsu’s entire being seemed to melt into a puddle of relaxation, his previous stiffness and nervousness dissipating as he held her hand, lacing their fingers together. She felt warm all over, just from that small touch, and smiled as she led him towards where Loke was waiting. Thankfully, the man didn’t make any kind of depraved comment as he led them to the VIP room and let them in, quick to leave the two alone. Lucy headed straight to the edge of the room, looking out the window, which made up the entire wall. She gasped lightly as she saw more of the town around them, lit up dimly in the night, and felt Natsu move his hand from hers to, instead, hug her from behind as they both watched the night outside.  
“Sorry I couldn’t treat you to dinner like I promised,” Natsu whispered by Lucy’s ear, and she shivered ever so slightly. “I really wanted to not fuck it up like I did last time but I failed anyway, didn’t I?” He hummed in thought for a moment, and his arms held the woman tighter against him as a small smirk crossed his features. “I’ll make up for it, though.” He moved his head down to the crook of her neck and planted a small kiss there. “I’ll make it so you’ll forget all about how I messed up,” he continued, punctuating his words with another kiss, before his teeth grazed lightly at that spot in her neck, earning a small gasp from her. “I’ll make you forget about that dumb looking chef,” he growled this time, and Lucy felt one of his hands move to cup her breast over her dress and held her breath, already feeling the heat of his body against hers begin to cloud her mind. “You’ll only remember my name, right Luce?”  
“Natsu...” She probably shouldn’t have been so compliant, but his hands felt so nice on her, his wet lips against her skin driving her slightly insane as he continued to kiss her neck and fondle her breast.  
She was supposed to be enjoying the view, which was a gorgeous one from up there, but instead she found herself with her eyes closed and mouth agape as he continued to tease her, whispering obscenities in her ear as she crumbled back against him, more than willing for him to do whatever he wanted with her body as lust began pumping in her veins. They spent quite a while like that, but Lucy needed and wanted more, so she made herself pull away as she gasped, a hand reaching out to the large window to hold herself up as she felt her knees give slightly, desire coursing through her.  
“Hm. Where’d you think you’re going?” She heard Natsu ask, and turned around slowly to watch him move closer once again, his whole body covering hers as he trapped her back against the glass. “Do you wanna leave already, Luce?” He asked, teasingly, but Lucy could see in his eyes that, had she said yes, he would’ve stopped whatever game they were playing immediately, and walked her home; instead, he only grinned as she shook her head, wanting nothing more than for him to take her then and there. “Thought so, too. What do you want, then, hm?” He leaned down, nose moving along her jawline as he inhaled her soft scent, one he’d grown to hold so dear, recently. “Tell me what you want, anything, and I’ll give it to you.”  
“Natsu...” Lucy’s brains as muddled with desire and, much like he’d promised, the only thing she could say was his name; it was the only thing she could recall ever wanting, or needing, in that moment. Her hands moved to his sides as she felt his tongue touch her neck, and she mewled softly, hands clenching over his shirt.  
“Mhm, I see,” he whispered and she felt his grin against her skin before he pulled back slightly to looks own into her eyes. “Want you too, Luce. So bad. But maybe this isn’t the best place for this, right?” He questioned, but Lucy just leaned up to shut him up with a kiss; before she could deepen it, however, he pulled back, his lips out of her reach. “You’re mine, Luce,” he growled lowly, voice full of heat and something more which weakened her knees and made her slide downwards ever so slightly. “I don’t want anyone else seeing you like this. Let’s go home.” Despite his words, he made no motion to move away, and Lucy just stared up at him, unable to come up with any words to say. He was right, she knew that, but it felt almost cruel to leave her hanging.  
Almost as if sensing Lucy’s dilemma, however, there was a loud knock on the door, and she heard Loke’s voice on the other side.  
“I hate to interrupt, Princess, but I’d like to close the place and head home soon, if possible.”  
Having their decision made for them, Lucy closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm down, hands moving to Natsu’s chest after she released the tight grip she had on his shirt. Once she felt she was good, she tapped his chest very lightly and he moved away, which allowed her to fix her clothes before she held his stretched hand and followed him out of the room. After all that, she could barely remember what the town looked like from that room, but found she didn’t really mind.  
“Oh, you don’t look too bad. Thought I’d find you in worse conditions,” Loke commented with a grin, and Lucy blushed as she realized he probably knew exactly what her and Natsu had been up to, in that room. “No need to blush, it’s only natural. I’ve seen you oggling each other all night,” he pressed on, and she groaned softly, hiding her face in Natsu’s shoulder as she heard him laugh lowly under his breath. “Alright, I’ll stop now.” Lucy peeked from behind Natsu’s shoulder and couldn’t help but smile genuinely as she found Loke watching her, a soft, happy look in his eyes. “Just happy to know you’re happy, Princess.”  
After that, Lucy, just as promised, exchanged numbers with Loke so they could stay in touch. When they’d first separated, by mutual agreement so they could each pursue their dreams with nothing tying them down, she hadn’t been able to contact him for a while; it had hurt, and she knew that if she had managed to talk to him, she would’ve begged him to get together again. When she’d felt it was safe to talk to the man, he’d changed numbers and she had never gotten hold of what his new number was. It had made her sad for a few days, but when it didn’t instantly throw her into a depressive state, she realized her love for Loke had already faded.  
Now, she’d said goodbye to the man with a smile, promising a text as soon as she got home, and was walking hand in hand with Natsu as he walked her home. She knew he was going to sleep over that night, not just because of how heavy the lust between them had gotten in that VIP room but also because he’d already said so when they’d walked the opposite path, earlier that evening, yet she wanted this walk to last forever. The quiet around them was nice, comforting as she focused on his breathing and how he squeezed his hand around hers every time someone else walked by, as if to stake his claim and protect her. After a while of walking in silence, however, the man broke their silence.  
“Wish he’d stop calling you that,” he grumbled softly, a slight pout on his lips, and Lucy looked at him in confusion. “That guy, Loke. He kept calling you Princess. I didn’t like it when he called you that,” he explained, and Lucy ended up chuckling softly. “If anything, I should be calling you that, not him. But I don’t think Princess quite fits, sounds a little too corny. Unless you like it!” He turned to look at her, eyes wide. “Do you like it when he calls you Princess? Do you want me to call you that?”  
“Natsu, don’t be an idiot,” she interrupted him, grinning. “Loke’s been calling me that since we were kids, it’d feel weird if anyone else called me that,” she continued, squeezing his hand in hers as she saw the start of a frown on his lips. “I like it when you call me Luce. No one’s ever called me that before. It’s always either Lucy, or Lu. Luce is a Natsu-exclusive, and I like it that way.” She smiled at him and saw him beaming down at her as if she’d just told him he’d won the lottery. Her eyes softened with affection and she stopped walking for a second, stopping him as well, and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “You’re an idiot,” she commented with a chuckle, before they continued on their walk.  
That night, their desire to explore each other’s body was less urgent and more caring than any of the previous times, and Lucy couldn’t complain. She enjoyed every second of it and eventually fell asleep on his chest as he hummed a song softly. And if she pretended to be asleep the next morning just so she wouldn’t have to move from his warm embrace even though she knew he was already awake, well, no one had to know about it.


	4. Particles // Don’t Tell

The month after Lucy and Natsu’s failed attempt at a date passed by in a fast motion, a busy blur that Lucy had brought upon herself the moment she’d accepted to participate in that damned talent show. She had hoped that her friends would have forgotten about her promise to participate, but the next day she’d been bombarded with texts from Erza telling her how she could sign up, where and when to do so, and plenty of threats towards her well-being if she were to forget to do so. Natsu had also reminded her to do it after they’d shared a hearty breakfast the morning after that dinner, and she couldn’t stand to let him down; so, she’d signed up to do a song with just a piano, and that was that.  
The problem was, Lucy hadn’t felt as inspired to write as during that time, for some reason. She’d felt her creativity surge and so she’d given priority to her manuscript, progressing the story fantastically as she spent most of her time by her small desk, penning down her ideas and delving deep into her characters’ lives. This meant, however, that with work and writing taking priority, she barely had any time to practice. She considered dropping out of the competition a few times, but each time she brought it up, Erza would glare at her so hard Lucy felt she’d turn to stone if she did one wrong move, so she stayed signed up.  
It was only after two weeks that she decided on a song to play, on a day off she hadn’t felt as much like writing. She’d looked through her entire repertoire of songs she already knew how to play on the piano, but none had really called out to her. She’d considered playing a classical piece, but then given up on that idea once she remembered how excited her friends had been to hear her sing. She’d felt a little hopeless as she scrolled through her most played songs in her music app, until she came across the perfect choice. She’d never actually attempted to play it on the piano, but figured the backing track would be simple enough to change into that instrument, and it was a song she’d figured out how to sing best a while ago.  
With that choice down, Lucy had moved on to practicing at least once a day. She could’ve used the perfectly good piano she had at home, the one she had inherited from her sister’s untimely death, but hadn’t been able to touch it just yet. Instead, she’d bothered Gajeel, whom she learned owned the small music shop in town, to let her use one of the pianos he had in there as she practiced. He’d been a hard man to convince, but once Lucy had promised she’d sing something with him at any given time he asked, he’d been agreeable to the idea. He had been the only person to hear her song choice before the competition as he was in the store whenever she was practicing, and had helped her simplify the piano melody as much as possible, both because she didn’t have much time to learn it, but also because, as he’d told her, that particular song called for her voice to be the center of attention.  
So, for two weeks, Lucy met Gajeel at his store after dinner so she could practice, and the two of them bonded over music. Lucy realized in that time why it was that someone as tiny and gentle as Levy had ended up marrying a scary-looking man like Gajeel, as she’d found out he was much kinder and softer that she’d given him credit for, when she’d met the man. Some days, because the home he shared with Levy was so close to the store he owned, he’d bring their cat to keep him and Lucy company at the store while she practiced, and Lucy had seen the way he played lovingly with the pet. She had no doubt, whatsoever, that Gajeel cared a great deal for Levy and that if they were to have kids, they’d be spoiled rotten by their loving father.  
In the meantime, her relationship with Natsu had become a little complicated.  
They weren’t avoiding each other or anything, quite the contrary really, but they’d both agreed maybe they should pace themselves. And that was all good and well, but they really couldn’t stick to their own promise, really. When out with their friends, they’d act just as friends, and had told the group they were just that. Still, there were nights when Lucy got home from Gajeel’s shop to find Natsu by her door, and one thing had led to another and they’d ended up sleeping together, despite what they’d said was best. After the third time it happened, they’d both agreed that maybe they wouldn’t be able to stick to that plan, already too obsessed with each other’s bodies to turn back, but that they wouldn’t tell their friends about their little escapades - they’d never hear the end of it from Erza, if she found out, and Gray would never stop teasing Natsu for it if he knew.  
So, Lucy and Natsu weren’t really dating, but they were still exclusive. Lucy hadn’t looked at any other man the way she looked at Natsu since their agreement, and Natsu had always declined girl’s offers when they’d propositioned him. Their friends none the wiser, they’d ended up in bed together on numerous occasions, sometimes even with no bed involved in the process, and acted as if they were simply friends doing friend things. It bothered Lucy a little to hide from them, especially since she could tell that, were they true about it, they could be a lot happier and delve deeper into the romance side of their not-relationship, but she couldn’t fault Natsu for wanting to hide; they’d done everything backwards, after all.  
The only person who knew about Lucy and Natsu’s arrangement was Loke, who Lucy had managed to have lunch with during her break at work, one day, and couldn’t help herself but spill it all out to him. They’d talked about what they’d been doing ever since they’d broken up, and Lucy hadn’t held back any information, no matter how much it hurt or embarrassed her to talk about. Loke had been bombarded with the explanation about why Lucy had moved to Magnolia, the stories of her worst days and how she’d come to care for the pink-haired man, and the status of their relationship at that moment.  
Loke, unlike himself, had been rational about the whole thing once he’d gotten past the shock of everything that had changed, and told her she really should talk to Natsu about it, if it was bothering her. She’d accepted his advice and planned to act on it, but then Natsu had come around that night and she’d been too lost in the taste of his lips to be able to bring it up. She’d considered pulling him aside the few times she’d managed to see him outside her home, but then he’d either be practicing for the harvest festival, or they were hanging out with their friends, so she really never found the right time.  
As the day of the festival - and therefore her talent show - drew near, Lucy felt nerves begin to build in her belly, and the last few days before the festival were spent between stress-practicing, working, and letting Natsu lull her to sleep with a hummed song in between whispers that she’d be alright, and a promise that he’d sing something special just for her if she managed to win the talent show. Although it had only risen the stakes for the competition, Lucy had appreciated the encouragement as it made her even more determined to win, forcing her to forget about her nervousness.  
And so the day arrived.  
The Harvest festival, Lucy had been told, happened every year in Magnolia since way too long ago for anyone to recall exactly when it had started. Legend had it, however, that if one was lucky enough to look at the cherry blossom trees with their fated lover by their side, the trees would appear to glow in a whimsical fashion, with the colors of the rainbow replacing the usual soft pink tones of the flowers there. Lucy wasn’t much of a believer in such tales, but loved to read them and to learn about them, so she’d squeezed some time into her work days to read a little bit about the festival, and the town itself. She’d found out it had been rebuilt a few times already, with every building changing from where it had started, except for the long cathedral in the center of the town.  
Lucy was still a bit unaware of the entire story behind the cathedral, but had visited and wondered if the reason it had never fallen was because of how breathtakingly beautiful it was; it seemed very sturdily built, like it was prepared to last millennia without a single scratch, and had somewhat of an ethereal glow inside. Despite not being religious, Lucy had felt very at peace there, as the walls blocked out any outside noise and she’d been left in silence, looking at the soft light trickling in through the high windows.  
What she’d learned about the town and the Harvest festival, however, was more than enough to excite her for the day. She’d read about the many activities that’d be spread around town, and was curious to take a gander around the food and trinkets stands to see if she found something to her liking. Of course, the talent show was also on her mind, but she found that she wasn’t as nervous anymore - not only because she was so enthusiastic to enjoy the Harvest festival, but also due to Natsu’s voice in the back of her mind, reminding her she’d be okay.  
Lucy had left the house early that day after a light breakfast, knowing there were some preparations to be made that she could help with, despite this being her first time attending the festival. Gajeel was helping set up the stage for the talent show, as well as Natsu’s performance with their friends, and Lucy went to help him get everything ready. Together, they set up and sound checked different instruments and equipment until everything was in place, and Lucy left him with a wave to go find his wife, Levy. She found her in a small stand, displaying out some books and handmade jewelry, and helped the woman get everything ready for when people would arrive, which didn’t take long.  
The festival officially started at eleven in the morning, and by then Lucy was already done helping her friends, and began roaming through the town square and the park around it, looking through the different stands in awe, until she came across a familiar face and smiled wide, heading over to her stand.  
“Juvia!” She greeted happily, watching as the blue-haired woman smiled back at her and waved. “I had no idea you’d have a stand here,” she commented, before smiling in awe at the garments displayed through mannequins, and some carefully folded on top of a table in front of the woman. “Wow. Did you make all these?”  
“Juvia loves sewing very much,” the other woman replied, and Lucy smiled up at her. She spotted on the table a beautiful head accessory, a big puffy black flower with some jewels glued to it, and carefully picked it up. “You like it? You can have that for free, love rival,” Juvia continued, and Lucy was about to open her mouth to deny such kindness, but was interrupted. “It is a gift. A token of good luck for the competition today. Gajeel told Juvia your performance will be very beautiful, Juvia can’t wait to watch!”  
Lucy blushed at the words, but nodded nonetheless, accepting the gift as she pinned it to her hair, which she’d put up into a bun. She wasn’t yet dressed for her performance, choosing to wear her casual clothing to walk around the festival first, but knew that the accessory she’d been offered by her friend would match her dress perfectly. She thanked Juvia for the gift, as well as her words, before she departed from her stand, continuing her exploration of the festival.  
The talent show was due to start at one, so Lucy spent close to an hour just walking around, taking in the sights and admiring the decorations that had been put up all throughout the place, and collecting some trinkets she found she liked, buying them with no hesitation. She felt a little lonely, enjoying the festival by herself, but knew that her friends were preparing for their performance and didn’t fault them for that; she was sure that they’d be great, but it was only normal that they’d want to put on a good performance in front of everyone. She was excited to hear them play, and wished that she’d get to hear the song Natsu had promised he’d sing for her, curious about what he had chosen.  
Once midday rolled around, Lucy took a small break from her wandering to buy some food and sit at one of the tables that had been set up near the food stands so she could eat. These days, she didn’t forget she had to eat as much anymore, not needing a constant reminder from Natsu or Levy about the subject. She’d gotten pretty good at scheduling her meals so she wouldn’t skip any, and her sleep, although still rough, came more often than before. She slept best the nights Natsu stayed over and held her through the night, but she never admitted that to the man, or to herself.  
When she was done eating, Lucy walked the short path to her home so she could change into a long black dress she owned, with a slit up her side that reached the top of her thigh. She wore dark colored tights underneath it, and adjusted the golden sash around her middle, tying it gently over her right hip, over the opening to the slit on the dress. The black dress was accentuated with gold details over the edge of the sweetheart neckline, with a jewel in the middle, and came with detached sleeves which Lucy chose to wear, and a puffy black choker she put on as well. She removed the flower from her hair in order to adjust her updo, and then placed it back in once she was done, marveling at her reflection in the mirror. She looked beautiful, if she could say so herself.  
Looking at the time, Lucy grabbed her purse and headed back out to the festival after putting on her black heels, feeling some people stare at her in awe. She looked almost regal, she knew, but she felt it was her best option to make sure her performance was as enchanting as Gajeel had told her it’d be. The piano wasn’t complicated, but her words were heavy and coated in emotion, and she was sure she’d end up crying, like she had every time she’d practiced the song.  
Reaching the stage just in time, Lucy watched as Natsu, Erza, Gray and Jellal walked out, cheers and applause following them as they waved at the crowd. As the previous year’s winners, not only were they performing, but also presenting the talent competition. They introduced themselves and the judges, and bid their luck to all of the contestants, saying that they’d better win this year, because the following one they’d be competing once again. Lucy had chuckled then, but knew that her friends meant no harm; they had a charm to them, with mostly Natsu speaking to the crowd of people gathered to watch the show.  
When the band left the stage, the competition began, and Lucy found a place to sit so she could watch her opponents’ performances. Most of them were singing and playing some sort of instrument, although there was an acappella group in there she really enjoyed watching, and she even saw the band she’d sung with, a month before; they had a really good girl singing for them, with black hair and a soft smile, her voice smooth as they’d played their song. Lucy had ended up being the last performing, by sheer luck, and she really appreciated that - it meant she could watch everyone else calmly, letting her nerves dissipate as time went on.  
“Alright everyone, let’s thank Sabertooth for that wonderful performance!” This time, it was Jellal on the stage, showing out the band before he could present the next talent. “And this brings us to our last performer, who’s prepared a piece on the piano for all of us here today, so roll that out Gajeel.” Lucy got ready by the stairs to the stage, watching Gajeel roll in one of the grand pianos from his shop, the one she had been practicing on. “Let’s welcome Lucy to the stage everyone!” Jellal finally said, and Lucy walked up to the stage as she saw him retreat. The crowd was clapping for her as she walked in, and once she could face them, she curtsied for them before she went to her seat on the piano.  
Taking a deep breath, Lucy adjusted the microphone to her lips’ height, opened the shining black cover over the piano keys, and placed her fingers on it, waiting a few heartbeats before she finally pressed down.  
[“ _It’s been like a year since I’ve been home,_ ” she sang softly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeu2Y3mdSkU), striking simple chords on the piano once her line was done, “ _dealing with an addiction I can’t shake off..._ ” She repeated the motion on the keys again, letting the piano’s last note ring out as she sang. “ _My mouth is dry, I self-medicate..._ ” Another short pause, and Lucy played the same chord again, already preparing her left hand to join in after the next line. “ _This come down won’t cure itself, it’s driving you away_ ,” she began playing the piano with both hands, albeit slow and just a simple melody, “ _it’s driving you away, piece by piece, day by day..._ ”  
“ _Baby, yeah..._ ” Lucy began the chorus after a very short pause where the piano was the focus, and then her voice went higher each note she sang. “ _Tell me if I’m being strange..._ ” She dragged out the last word a bit, letting her voice lower into the next line. “ _And if I need to rearrange my particles, I will for you... My particles, I will for you..._ ” Once again her voice went quiet as she focused on the piano, progressing into the second verse as the melody on the instrument became slightly more complex. “ _And I’m the shadow of a ghost... Just feeling as if somebody has taken host... Babe I don’t wanna make a scene... But I get self-destructive, it’s driving you away... It’s driving you away! Piece by piece, day by day..._ ” Lucy’s voice had gained some traction during the second verses becoming a little heavier with feelings as it pressed forward into the chorus once more. Once the chorus was done, the blonde stiffened ever so slightly, feeling the lines that came next already start to tug at her heart strings.  
“ _Oh, doctor, please - this don’t feel right!_ ” She started, her melodic voice resembling a desperate plea. “ _Oh, can you give me something to get me through the night?_ ” Her chest began to hurt softly and she felt the familiar tears prick her eyes, her fingers moving faster and heavier on the piano as the melody became more complicated. “ _Oh, if it all falls apart, and if this thing goes wrong, oh put me back together, however you want!_ ” Suddenly, she stopped playing the piano and her voice changed drastically, into a small whisper which she felt brought on some tears. “ _My mind plays tricks..._ ” She confessed softly, hitting the piano one key at a time through only a part of her words. “ _And I don’t sleep no more... Doctor, please..._ ” She dragged out the plea, piano accompanying it before she stopped completely, her voice the only soft sound that could be heard throughout the festival. “ _I can’t switch off..._ ”  
There was silence for a moment, and Lucy felt a tear slide down her cheek as she blinked away her blurry vision, and then she began playing the piano again, loud and poignant, as she sang the chorus once again.  
“ _Baby, yeah... Tell me if I’m being strange! And if I need to rearrange my particles, I will for you..._ ” Her voice changed once again to a whisper, and she softened her fingers on the piano keys, ringing out the last few notes in a gentle manner. “ _My particles, I will for you..._ ”  
The crowd gave the piano enough time to ring out its sound completely before it applauded the performance, and Lucy took a deep breath as she subtly wiped under her eyes before she turned her head to smile at the people watching her. She carefully got up from the piano, caressing it softly for a moment before she curtsied before the crowd once again, taking her leave right after. She huffed a long breath as she descended the stairs, letting out the rest of her emotions, and as she reached the bottom she saw Gajeel, arms crossed over his chest as he looked down at her with a gentle smile.  
“You did great, Bunny girl,” he said, uncrossing his arms to reach a hand out to pet the top of her head heavily. Lucy couldn’t help her laugh at the motion, and before long she felt him pull her in for a short-lived hug.  
“Luce!” She heard being called, and the blonde pulled away from Gajeel to see Natsu rushing over to her. She took notice of his watery eyes and slight frown, but didn’t have enough time to question, because as he soon as he reached her he enveloped her in a tight hug and she felt him tremble softly against her. She cooed soft words at him as she realized he was crying, her fingers tracing gentle patterns on his back in hopes of calming him, easing him of the pain she could tell he was feeling.  
The two of them stayed like that for a while, with Lucy comforting the man the best she could by reminding him he was okay, she was okay, and that he wasn’t alone. She took notice of Gajeel leaving them alone, heard Gray talk to the crowd over the speakers as he said the winner would be announced in a few minutes, but none of it really mattered. She just held Natsu against her, trying to decipher what had triggered this, when she realized - Natsu had gone through what she had; the sleepless nights, the extreme sadness, all of it. He’d told her about how he’d been when he’d lost Igneel, and her song probably touched deep in his wounds from it. Feeling guilty, she squeezed him a little tighter, adding an apology to her soft spoken words against his ear.  
“Natsu,” she heard Erza call from behind the man, and felt the pink-haired man pull away from her embrace. She shot him an apologetic expression, watching as he dried his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket before he reached out his hand to caress Lucy’s cheek. “We need to go, we have to announce the winner,” the red haired woman said gently, and Lucy felt a little cold when Natsu’s hand left her cheek, but gave him a gentle, encouraging smile, which she was happy to see him reciprocate.  
“See you soon, Luce,” the man whispered before he coughed to clear his throat, and then followed Erza up to the stage again. Lucy watched him go until he was out of sight, and then crumbled slightly, the guilt eating at her heart as she thought about how broken Natsu had looked.  
She wanted to cave in to her own self-hatred then and there, feeling it was what she deserved after she’d triggered such a moment for the man, but felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Gajeel there, granting her some sort of strength. Despite knowing she deserved to hurt for what she’d done, Lucy appreciated the other man’s presence - she could chastise herself when she was home, alone; right now, she had to focus on the results of the competition.  
“Alright, everyone!” She heard Natsu say, and moved with Gajeel to a different spot, so they could see the stage. “It seems our dearest judges have made a decision, but before we announce it, let’s allow them to have some words! Gramps, tell us, how’d you choose the winner, then?”  
“Well, it wasn’t easy, there was a lot of good talent this year,” Lucy heard an elderly voice say, and realized she recognized it. She’d heard it tell her she’d be okay when she was little and her sister was taken away, and it struck a chord in her heart to hear his voice once again. “Everyone was great, but most of them lacked that something you know we always look for,” the old man continued.  
“Heart,” the next judge continued, and Lucy peered into the judges panel to spot another familiar face; she’d been working alongside Makarov at the orphanage, and Lucy’s brain flickered to a memory of the woman patching up a scratched up knee she’d gotten once. “While most contestants had, without a doubt, plenty of talent, not many of them added their own heart to the performance. Their performances were beautiful, but just not quite there. That’s how we came to our decision.”  
“Ah, yes, there seemed to be a lack of emotion up on the stage,” the third judge commented, and Lucy recognized the man as the owner of the restaurant she often had lunch at, next to her job at the library. “There was only one person that made old man Makarov cry, and that’s quite a feat as it is,” the man continued, and Lucy watched as Makarov glared at the third judge. “I think we’ve quite given it away who won, but please do proceed with the announcement anyway.”  
Feeling Gajeel squeeze her shoulder, Lucy turned her eyes back to the four people up on the stage, watching Erza hold an envelope in her hand.  
“Alright everyone, let’s do this,” Natsu grinned at the crowd, and for a few moments there was only the sound of Erza opening the envelope and removing the card with the winner’s name from inside. Lucy knew, even before her name was called, that she’d won simply from the way her friends’ faces lit up, the way Natsu’s eyes opened in pure happiness as he lifted the microphone to between them, and then they all called out her name. Gajeel, next to her, was grinning widely as he squeezed her shoulder again, nudging her forward.  
“Go, bunny girl. You did it.”  
As the crowd cheered and applauded the judges’ decision, Lucy made her way back up to the stage, a wide smile on her lips as she greeted her friends. She was given a trophy for her victory, a heavy thing with the shape of a microphone and a plaque where her name would be hatched, later on, and was hugged by each of the four people up on stage, Natsu’s hug a little tighter than the rest. She turned to the crowd to wave and smile once she was released, and noticed that the judges were making their way up to the stage as well.  
“Lucy,” she heard her name called and noticed old man Makarov with tears in his eyes. She smiled at the man and reached down to his outstretched hand. “Do you know who I am? It has been an awful long time,” he spoke to her with emotion, and the blonde squeezed his hand slightly as she nodded. “Oh, good,” he nodded at her, and Lucy offered him a smile. “You did great out here, congratulations on your victory.”  
“Gramps, don’t hog Lucy all to yourself,” Natsu said from behind Lucy and she turned to chuckle at him, watching him grin his widest as she looked at him. “You can go sit with ‘em at the panel, we need the stage to perform now. See you soon, Luce,” he said, much like he’d said just a while ago when they’d broken up their hug, and she smiled lovingly in his direction before she followed the judges back to their panel, where they’d added a chair for her to sit on.  
The performance that followed was one of the best Lucy had seen. The band was lively on stage, with Natsu on the vocals and guitar as if doing both things were something he’d been born doing. Gray had his own shining moments with a few solos through different songs, and Lucy noticed that their song choices had been done expertly, allowing each of the members a few moments to shine and stand out. She’d heard them play some of the songs before, not only in the town square they usually performed in, but she’d also heard some of their practices. Still, she felt in awe at some of the riffs Jellal managed to pull from his bass, and the way Erza coordinated her drums to sound almost like the sticks were a part of her own arms. Lucy was entranced by the performance, finding herself bobbing her head along to the beat and singing some of the songs under her breath.  
Much too soon, the show narrowed down to the last song, and Lucy joined everyone as they cheered and applauded the performance. The group stayed on stage until the loud noise died down, and Lucy watched them all grin conspiringly.  
“Alright, we lied, there’s one more song,” Natsu said onto the microphone, shushing everyone as he could hear them cheer at the words. “But this one’s a promise I made, so I’ll need you all to bear with me and don’t feel too weirded out, ‘kay?” Lucy watched as he ditched the guitar to the side, gently placing it on its stand by his feet, and then look straight at her. “I promised I’d sing you a song if you won, didn’t I?” He grinned, and Lucy felt her face flush red. “C’mon up Luce, if I’m gonna sing for you I want you here.”  
Lucy felt eyes on her as she hid her face in her hands, groaning in embarrassment. She’d been so into the concert that she’d forgotten that Natsu was supposed to sing a song for her, in the first place, and to be thrown under the spotlight like that, she just wanted to dig a large hole beneath her and hide forever. She questioned, in her mind, if Natsu realized what it looked like to have him call her up on stage; if he realized how much their friends would nag them from then on out, and how hard it would be to hide their arrangement from them, and from everyone else. Still, she found herself getting up and heading towards the stage, passing a snickering Gray as she walked closer to Natsu.   
“Alright, you just stand there and look pretty, then,” Natsu said with a grin, and Lucy glared at him through her embarrassment, crossing her arms over her chest to try and fend off some of the jittery feelings in her stomach. She watched him as he nodded back at his band mates, hand on the microphone in its stand, and then the song began with Jellal’s heavy bass setting the tone to a slow beat. The blonde watched Natsu close his eyes as he leaned closer to the microphone, his voice crooning out the few words to the song.  
“ _[Everybody saw you get your coat, and everybody heard your bad excuse for leaving](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtqkXfkUu64). Say I’m going out for a smoke... no one has to know, about our little secret..._” Lucy gasped ever so slightly, unbelieving of what she was hearing as she looked at the pink haired-man, who glanced at her then. “ _Meet you there... In the dark, I won’t say anything, if you don’t, so..._ ” He glanced back the crowd then, and Lucy felt frozen in space and time as she watched him, voice softer but higher than she’d heard from him before. “ _Don’t tell, I swear I won’t tell on you... on you... Don’t tell, I swear I won’t tell..._ ”  
Lucy broke out of her thoughts as she heard a guitar play into the mix and felt a soft nudge to her side, moving her slightly more towards the center of the stage, towards Natsu. She looked back to see Gray look at her expectantly, and she was surprised once again - she’d expected to see him either look confused about what this song could mean for Lucy and Natsu, or amused by the whole thing; instead, he was looking at her with encouragement and trying to move her closer to the pink haired singer.   
“ _Used to have a heart of gold,_ ” Natsu continued singing, this time grabbing the microphone from the stand and turning to look directly at Lucy. She saw his grin and her heart felt more at ease, the butterflies in her stomach laying down for a rest. “ _Now I’m staying up at night, your dirty little dreamer,_ ” he winked at her and Lucy blushed once more. “ _Always ready to reload, at your command, wish I could keep you,_ ” he took a step closer to her and Lucy felt her heart pick up its fast beat once more. “ _Synchronized... On demand, as we fantasize what they can’t know, oh_.”  
Natsu kept walking towards her as he sang the chorus once more, and stopped just as the chorus was coming to a close, and as he reached her he pried one of her hands away from her body, holding it in his.  
“ _I know it’s hard to bear, hiding everywhere..._ ” Lucy’s breath stopped as she felt him pull her closer, his forehead leaning against hers as he seemed to forget the world around them; she couldn’t really blame him, as she, too, was losing herself to the moment, the sound of his voice hypnotizing her. “ _Trying to forget, keepin’ it on the down low,_ ” his hand released hers and he wrapped an arm around her waist instead, and Lucy instantly lifted her hands to his chest, holding herself steady against him. “ _I wish we’d skip a beat, give up this hide-and-seek... think I just changed my mind, let’s just let everybody know._ ”  
At that point, Lucy didn’t care that they were being watched by their friends, by the town, by everyone; they could be on live television for all she cared, she was too far gone into Natsu to do much else except kiss him as he lowered the microphone away from his face and leaned down into her lips. She heard the music in the background, Gray and Jellal performing a lovely piece on their respective instruments, but she couldn’t even register much else. All she knew was Natsu, the feel of his lips moving against hers, hand sprayed against her back as he held her close.  
Unfortunately, their kiss was broken up way too soon by Erza calling out Natsu’s name, and Lucy opened her eyes to his boyish grin as he lifted the microphone to his lips once more to sang the chorus for the final time, remaining as close to her as was allowed in the middle of the stage. She couldn’t move, even if she wanted, as he sang to her, his beautiful voice carrying out through the speakers to the crowd watching them.  
When the song came to an end, Lucy didn’t hesitate before leaning up to kiss him once again, her lips soft and gentle as she moved them against his. She wanted to say so much, to do so much, but could only find herself kissing him, trying to convey all her emotions for the boy into that single motion. She heard cheers from the people around them but didn’t let that stop her, her emotions swelling inside of her as she felt tears try to escape her eyes. She wasn’t sure why she was crying, but she knew the second Natsu felt the tears by their lips because he pulled back and looked down at her in worry.   
“Luce? What’s wrong?” She heard how concerned he was and just shook her head, burying it in his chest right after as she hugged him. His arms around her felt like a warm blanket and she welcomed the comfort, sighing as she willed her tears to stop.  
“You idiot,” she grumbled, unmoving even as he tried to pull back to look down at her. “You just couldn’t tell me these things, you had to go and make a big deal out of it,” she continued, but a small smile graced her lips, mixing in with her slight annoyance. “Talk about a grand gesture.” At last, she pulled back slightly to look up at his worried expression, offering him a smile. “How am I supposed to measure up, now? You’ve set the bar stupid high, you idiot.”  
“It’s okay, you don’t have to,” he whispered to her, leaning down for another quick peck to the lips before he pulled away completely. “We should prob’ly get out of here and go talk somewhere, though. Hopefully somewhere we can watch the trees, they’re supposed to glow if we watch them together,” he mentioned casually, and Lucy’s heart did a somersault in her chest as she realized what he was implying. Nonetheless, she nodded and turned away from the crowd as she rushed out of stage, her embarrassment catching up to her as she heard their cheers and whistling.  
Natsu followed her after thanking the crowd, and before she could really notice she was being swept off her feet and lifted into his arms in a bridal hold. She squealed at the sudden change and held right onto his jacket as he carried her, but didn’t try to break out of his hold, allowing him to continue carrying her until they were away from the festival, from its crowd and their curious eyes. They ended up in a quiet spot by the canal, hidden underneath one of the cherry blossom trees as they sat with their backs against it.  
The two of them sat in silence for a while, Lucy wondering what words she wanted to say out loud, which ones she could even muster up. She was still shaken by Natsu’s gesture, was still lightheaded from how loved she had felt as he’d kissed her in front of everyone. They’d known each other for about two months now, so was it weird that she felt like she’d happily spend the rest of her days with him? Was it weird that she wanted nothing more than to be able to fall asleep next to him every night, and wake up to his usual bright grin as he looked down at her? Was she supposed to be feeling these feelings already, or was it just that she’d been alone for so long, every small thing felt bigger?  
She glanced at him, finding him smiling softly with his eyes closed, and the answer was clear. It wasn’t that she was overcompensating for her sadness; it wasn’t that she’d craved feeling like this for a long time. It was, simply, because it was Natsu. Natsu, who’d helped her when he had no obligation to; Natsu, who’d agreed to be whatever she wanted him to be in order to make her happy; Natsu, who’d told her about his darkest moments just so she could see a brighter light at the end of the tunnel. He’d sacrificed for her, as dramatic as it sounded, and Lucy couldn’t overlook that. It seemed her heart couldn’t, either.  
Slowly, she reached her hand out to place it over his on his thigh, her fingers lacing through his as she watched his smile widen slightly. He opened his eyes then, and Lucy got lost in his green orbs as they looked ahead, his hand squeezing hers lightly. Once he turned to look at her, Lucy smiled at him in a loving manner, unable to form any words as night began to fall.  
“Luce,” he called out to her, and she followed his gaze as he turned it upwards, into the tree they were sitting under. Her eyes widened slightly as she caught a faint, colorful glow to the flowers on the branches, and she was sure she was being tricked, somehow. There was no way that a tree could emit such a beautiful glow. “If you look away it won’t glow like that anymore,” he said when Lucy, unbelieving, had turned to try and catch sight of another tree, to see if it glowed. “We need to watch it together.”  
The blonde turned her face upwards again, and smiled wide as she saw the tree’s glow become more evident the darkest the sky got. Her lips parted in awe, she found herself forgetting about wondering how the tree could do that, and just marvel at the fact that it did; legend had it that, if two destined lovers looked at a cherry blossom tree during the festival, together, the tree would glow in rainbow colors, in their eyes. Feeling overwhelmed with emotion, Lucy’s eyes watered in joy as she felt Natsu tug her into his side, his hand freeing hers so he could wrap his arm around her shoulders instead. It felt like she fit in at his side much too perfectly, as if they’d been carved to fit together like this, and as she watched the tree glow brightly against the starless sky, she thought maybe they had.


	5. Shatter Me // Insomnia

“Hey, Bunny girl. Didn’t think I’d see you back here after the festival.”  
Lucy had just walked through the door to Gajeel’s music store when she was greeted by the man, and immediately wanted to walk back out. She let out a small groan and a huff, pointing an accusing finger at the dark-haired man. By mistake, she’d worn a fluffy white jacket with bunny ears she’d only ever worn at home before to one of their practicing sessions, and ever since then, the shop owner hadn’t called her by anything but that dumb nickname.  
“It was one time!” She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest as the man guffawed in laughter. She rolled her eyes as he continued to laugh, ignoring him as she walked over to the wall where she’d seen the instrument she’d been looking for hanging. It had been a good while since she’d played, but she’d been wanting to pick one up ever since she’d first noticed them. “I actually wanted to try something out to buy, but if you’re gonna act like that I’ll just take my business elsewhere.”  
The words seemed to catch Gajeel’s attention, and she watched out of the corner of her eyes as he sobered up, interested in what she’d said. She saw him get up from his stool behind the counter and walk over to join her, hands on his hips as he stood next to her, facing the same wall she was. He was much taller, his presence overpowering her as she began to feel a little embarrassed.  
“A violin? You know how to play?” The man’s voice betrayed his curiosity as he tried to act nonchalant, and Lucy eased slightly, a smile gracing her lips.  
“Mmhm. I learned a few different instruments through the years, actually,” she explained, tentatively reaching out a hand to touch the wooden edge of one of the violins hanging on the wall. “Piano’s one of them, but not my best. I learned guitar as well, but, if I dare say, violin’s my best. It’s also my favorite,” she admitted, her expression soft as she recalled what it felt like to hold the gentle instrument in her hands, the freedom it brought her to just focus on the feeling of the strings under her fingers. “I’m a fast learner and my parents didn’t mind that I studied at the music academy in my free time. I took piano lessons when I was younger, then guitar, then violin, all of them mixed in with vocal lessons.”  
“Damn, bunny girl, you’re putting everyone in this town to shame,” Gajeel commented with a chuckle, one of his hands moving as he made to pet the top of Lucy’s head. “I’m impressed. Wanna try one out then? The ones here are the cheaper models, but I’ve got a thing of beauty in the back, if you want to take it for a spin.”  
“Oh?” Lucy turned to face the taller man, although it was somewhat difficult since his hand was still weighing on her head. “And you wouldn’t mind if I tried it out? I’m not exactly swimming in money, so it’s unlikely I’ll buy anything but one of these cheaper ones...” She nibbled on her bottom lip as she pondered just straight out refusing his offer, not wanting to waste his time trying out a violin she wouldn’t be able to buy, but it was for naught. Before Lucy could think much further about it, Gajeel was already walking away from her and towards the storage room in the back, where he kept his most expensive instruments.  
Lucy glanced at the string instruments on the wall once more, quickly gauging their prices, as she waited for the shop owner. There were different prices for different sizes and quality, but none of them seemed heavily out of budget, and she knew that, for passing time, they’d be more than enough. Still, her fingers itched to touch the model Gajeel had mentioned, wanting to try out the different quality from what she was used.  
When she heard Gajeel return, she turned and walked towards the counter where he placed the violin case, allowing her to open it. Her eyes widened at the sight as she lifted the top of the case after unlatching it, a gasp falling from her lips as the tip of her fingers caressed the wood. She could tell this wasn’t a standard violin and not just because it was a beautiful blue color - she spotted the volume knob and jack output and knew that this was an acoustic/electric violin. She felt almost unworthy to touch it, let alone play it.  
“Knew you’d like that, Bunny Girl. C‘mon, impress me a little with your talent.”  
“Oh, Gajeel, I couldn’t, I know how expensive this is, I really shouldn’t...”  
“C’mon Luce,” she heard from behind her, and turned her head sharply to find Natsu by the door, grinning excitedly. She’d been so engrossed in admiring the instrument, she hadn’t heard him enter the shop. “I wanna hear you play. Didn’t know you had a thing for the violin as well,” he insisted, and Lucy blushed lightly. She had told Natsu that piano wasn’t really her strongest instrument, and she could never deal with the complicated classical pieces her teacher had tried to drill into her, but she hadn’t told him what other instruments she played. “Besides, if Gajeel’s offering, it’d be rude to refuse.”  
Looking back at Gajeel, who had an eyebrow raised as he waited for her, and then down at the violin, Lucy decided she could just try one song out. Carefully, she removed the violin from its case, as well as the fiberglass - and she knew this because she’d done her research online when she’d first seen the instrument in the hands of someone else - bow, gently adjusting the tightness of the bow before she put the [Barcus Berry violin](https://www.electricviolinshop.com/barcusberry-vibrato-ae-violin-barcus-berry-blue.html) up to her chin. She straightened her back as she closed her eyes to take a deep breath, plucking at the strings as she tuned the instrument by ear by humming the correct notes under her breath, like she’d learned to do many years ago.  
Once Lucy was sure the instrument was correctly tuned, she lifted the bow to the strings, pausing for a second as she wondered what song she should do. There were many classical pieces that came to mind, many she’d learned through her lessons, but she didn’t feel much of a connection to them. Instead, she thought back to the songs she’d learned on her own, at home, until she settled on one by the name of Shatter Me, by her favorite violinist, the dancing violinist Lindsey Sterling.  
[She began the tune by gently plucking at the strings](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49tpIMDy9BE), tapping her foot to keep beat before she gently slid the bow through the strings, muttering the words to the lyrics she’d sung so many times in her room under her breath, keeping her chin from moving as much as possible as she played the violin. She played gently through the verse and the chorus, her fingers moving automatically through the bridge of the instrument, producing the different sounds she loved to let flow through her.  
Lucy let herself get lost in the moment, her left hand moving faster through the motions, fingers changing places rapidly as the song picked up the pace, her foot never changing its pace. She continued to sing under her breath, not giving much thought to it, and her eyes closed for brief moments where she felt confident enough in her ability to not need to look at her movements, her body swaying lightly back and forth with the movement of her right arm with the bow. She could feel the smile tug at her lips as she played, and much too soon it felt like the song came to an end as she rang out the last note in a soft vibrato.  
She dropped her right arm to her side by then, the storm of the motions calming as she came back into herself, cheeks heating slightly as she saw Natsu look at her with such an expression she wasn’t sure she could explain what feelings swam in his eyes; it was a mixture of pride and something else, much stronger, that she didn’t dare name yet. She moved her eyes away from him then, moving the violin away from her shoulder as she smiled down at it.  
“Oh, Gajeel, if only I had the money for this beauty...” She commented softly, putting the bow back in its rightful spot inside the case before she gently touched the wooden body of the violin. “The sound is gorgeous, and the fact it’s also electric is really convenient... but I’m only looking for a cheap one to kill some time.” She sighed softly as she placed the violin in the case as well, securing it in place before she closed it. “I’m sure you’ll have no difficulty selling it though, it really is a wonderful model.”  
“After that, the only person I’m interested in selling it to is you, bunny girl,” the black-haired man said with honesty, and Lucy blushed. “I understand though, if you really just want one to pass some time I can advise you on the best between the cheaper models. Maybe you’ll come back for this beauty eventually,” he continued, his tone hopeful, and the blonde woman smiled sympathetically. She doubted she’d be able to come back for it, but didn’t want to let down the man too harshly.  
She looked at Natsu once more as she heard him huff, cheeks puffed with air as he looked at her, but chose not to question him. Instead, she gave him a smile and asked him to wait a few moments as she followed Gajeel back to the same wall they’d looked at before, hearing his advice and countering with her own knowledge until they’d found the best possible violin for her, considering her small budget. She ended up with a set of a violin, bow, case and chin rest for a sum she didn’t find too offending, and once they’d done their exchange and she had her case in hand, she walked the short distance to a still pouting Natsu.  
“What’re you pouting for, hm?” She asked the man, a finger moving to tug at his bottom lip gently. “I’ve got my violin, we can go somewhere if you want,” she continued, trying to softly push the jutted out lip back into its usual position. She saw Natsu struggle to not grin at her ministrations and gave him a smile of her own until he caved in, her hand lowering right after. “There it is,” she whispered happily, turning to wave one last time at Gajeel, thanking him for his help, before taking Natsu’s hand in her own and guiding him outside the shop.  
It had been a week since Natsu and Lucy had turned official, and the blonde couldn’t be happier. Ever since they’d decided to stop hiding from their friends, her relationship with Natsu had begun blooming, with the man being even more affectionate towards her than before, his arm usually around her shoulder as they sat together, and hands joined together whenever they walked anywhere. Still, they hadn’t been so disgustingly lovey-dovey that their friends had found them annoying to be around; they just fit in like before, in the group, but simply they fit in together.  
Still, despite that, they hadn’t found the time to actually go on their first date. After the festival, Lucy had been bombarded with people greeting her out of nowhere, telling her how wonderful her performance had been, and ever since then she hadn’t found much peace. She’d gotten complimented by her boss at work, as well as the owner of the bakery on the opposite side of the street from it. Worst of it was, some of the people that greeted her had known her older sister, so they never hesitated to compare the two, and to tell Lucy how proud Anna would’ve been - and while she appreciated the sentiment, more often than not it brought out in her feelings of guilt and sadness she couldn’t quite overcome.  
“Luce, you’re spacing out,” she heard a voice break through her thoughts, and turned her head to blink at Natsu, realizing they were halfway down the road to her apartment, and she hadn’t even noticed. She blushed lightly and released his hand to hold the violin case with both hands, embarrassed. “What’s on your mind? You’ve been getting like this lately. Is something bothering you?"  
“I...” Lucy was going to say no; she was going to tell Natsu she was doing just fine, and not worry him further, but she looked up into his concerned eyes and knew she couldn’t lie to the man. “It’s nothing serious, it’s just... Everyone’s been complimenting my performance at the festival, lately,” she begun explaining, watching Natsu’s eyes go from concern to confusion; before he could ask her how that was a bad thing, she continued. “They’ve been talking about Anna a lot, saying I sound just like her and she’d be so proud of me and... it still stings. I know they mean well, but being reminded over and over that she will never see me like this, will never have a chance to know about us and hear me sing like this, I just...”  
She felt Natsu’s arms around her before she even saw him move, his toned chest pressing against her head gently as he held her. She knew Natsu wasn’t the best with comforting words, he never quite had the ability to just come up with what words would be best to ease her in her moments of weakness, but he always held her and made sure no words were needed until he’d thought what he wanted to say through, and found the right words to say. He did the same in that moment, embracing Lucy until he found what he wanted to say, his voice coming out in a sad whisper.  
“Anna would be proud,” Natsu said, but Lucy didn’t feel her heart drop like she usually did when someone else said it to her. Maybe it was because Natsu had known her sister better than most, so she found his words fully believable, or simply because his voice was soothing enough to not stir any sadness within her. “But you shouldn’t focus on that, Luce. You should be proud of yourself, and remember you have many people who love you and are proud and are still here. Like me,” he looked down at her with a soft smile, and the blonde couldn’t stop her lips from reciprocating the gesture. “You’re a great singer and performer, and you were great on the piano and now I know you’re great on the violin I’m gonna have to find a way for you to perform that with us,” he continued, leaning down to kiss the tip of her nose. “Speaking of, there’s something we want to discuss with you so we should get going, the rest of the group’s waiting.”  
Allowing his words to wash over her previous sadness, coating it in something she couldn’t quite name yet, she consented to his request with a small nod, sniffing back any tears she might’ve spilled as she pulled away from his arms. She looked up at the sky for a few moments, allowing her heart to change pace so it wouldn’t hurt anymore, and then looked at Natsu once more, smiling at the man.  
“Let’s go, then,” she said as she held out her hand, securing the violin case in her other hand. When Natsu ignored her hand and instead chose to wrap his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side as they began walking, Lucy chuckled and held the case handle with both hands, careful to not hit the case with her legs as she held it in front of her thighs as they walked. “What do you guys want to discuss? You’re not gonna guilt me into another competition, are you?”  
“Ah,” Natsu replied awkwardly, but then grinned down at the blonde. She watched him hesitate for a second and almost groaned, but forced herself to hold back - she knew they’d only advised her to participate in the talent show because they liked the way she sang, and wanted everyone to hear it. “Nah. But I think it’s best Erza explains, I’m not good at this stuff,” he continued, a small laugh bubbling from his lips, and Lucy wanted nothing more than to kiss them for a moment, distracted by the way they moved. “Anyway, we’re almost-“ he stopped short, his feet stopping from walking as he took notice of Lucy’s fixated gaze.  
Lucy felt herself blush slightly as Natsu stopped and his lips formed a small smirk, and broke her gaze away to see the slight mirth in his eyes as he’d caught her staring. She thought he’d tease her, as she knew it was a little weird to just stare at his lips as he spoke instead of actually listening to him, but instead she watched him lean down, breaths mingling as his lips hovered above hers, his eyes boring into her with warmth. Not feeling quite content with the lack of contact, Lucy leaned the rest of the distance so her lips met his in a gentle touch, eyes closing as she sighed happily. It was a quick peck, nothing too heated, but Lucy’s whole body tingled with happiness even as she pulled back.  
“Weirdo,” she heard Natsu comment, amused, but paid him no mind as she nestled herself against his side again, tugging him forward gently so they continued to walk.  
The couple reached their destination in only a few minutes, chatting happily about this or the other until they arrived at the café they’d agreed to meet their friends in. It was Anna’s favorite place to spend free time, Lucy had learned, and the man behind the counter always smiled sadly when he saw Lucy walk in, as if it pained him to look at her. Lucy had felt terrible about it the first time she had noticed, and had even asked their friends to avoid gathering up there when she was invited into their plans, but they’d checked with the barista already if it was okay for them to still come around.  
“Took you long enough,” Gray grumbled as Lucy took her seat next to Erza, Natsu on her other side, and gently placed the violin case on her lap. She blushed lightly and her fingers tapped the case gently, which brought her friends’ attention to it. “Wait - is that a violin? Do you play?” The dark-blue haired man questioned, his gaze going from annoyed to curious in a nanosecond; when Lucy nodded, he hummed. “Well, you’re a box full of surprises. Flame Brain’s gonna have to pull his weight if he’s looking to keep up.”  
“Shut it, Ice Princess,” Natsu was quick to retort, his arm around Lucy pulling her closer to his side so he could kiss her temple before shooting a dirty glare at his best friend. “For the record, though, Lucy’s fucking great at it too. I’d say you should hear it but I figure this isn’t the best place.” Lucy blushed at the compliment, and felt Natsu’s fingers trickle over her shoulder until they were on her cheek, pinching the redness gently. “Even Gajeel was impressed, and he’s, well. You know how he is.”  
“Gajeel’s not so bad,” she mumbled, turning her face to bite at the tip of Natsu’s fingers, chuckling when he hissed playfully and pulled his hand away from her face. “He helped me a lot while preparing for the festival, and even brought his cat over so I wouldn’t be so affected by the stress of everything leading up to it,” she admitted, looking back over at her friends, smiling genuinely. “Besides, if he was so bad, I’m sure Levy would’ve kicked his ass all the way to Alvarez without a second thought.”  
“Lucy’s right,” Erza agreed, giving a small nod before she faced the blonde. “Speaking of the festival, however, we did have something we wanted to talk to you about,” she stated, and Lucy held her breath for a second. Natsu had said they wanted to talk to her about something, but if it was somehow related to the festival, Lucy wasn’t quite sure she’d be able to get through it; she was still hesitant to get back on stage because of how much everyone had been complimenting her, lately. She felt Natsu squeeze her shoulder and relaxed minutely, exhaling softly. “So, we were thinking of going digital. We’ve done a video or two already, but it hasn’t gotten us much attention, just the four of us. We were wondering if you wouldn’t mind participating in a video with us, as a featured artist of course. We think your singing might interest people more than just Natsu’s.”  
Lucy blinked a few times, confusion etched on her features as she stared at the redhead. She was sure they would either be asking her to perform with them again at the square, join their band, or end up performing at another show - she wasn’t sure what her answer would’ve been if they’d asked that of her, as she didn’t feel quite ready to put herself out there like that, just yet. A video, however, was different - she didn’t have to face the comments or the reactions to her singing until she was ready, if she ever was. She could be in the video to help her friends, and just ignore any comments on it, and the chances that the people online who saw her knew her sister were slimmer, as well.  
“I- have you chosen a song?” She questioned, her interest peaking as Erza nodded. The people gathered around her could sense the excitement sizzling under her skin, she was sure, as their previous contained expressions were breaking into an excited smile. “Alright. I mean, I’m not sure how to go about that whole thing, but if I know the song and you have a plan in mind, I wouldn’t mind joining. Not sure if me participating will be enough to bring that much more attention, but it can’t hurt, right?” She mused out loud, feeling Natsu squeeze her shoulder again before she felt his lips on her cheek as he whispered a thank you against her skin. “It sounds like it could be fun, too!”  
“I believe your talent will be enough to gather more views,” Erza asserted, and then chuckled. “Besides, having a beautiful woman as yourself as a cover photo for the video might help,” she admitted, earning a laugh from the blonde. “Apparently I’m way too scary.” Lucy laughed once again, watching Jellal move to kiss Erza’s cheek much like Natsu had done to her. “In any case, Natsu’s chosen the song already assuming you’d join, says he’s certain you know it, so I believe it should be easy.”  
“Sheesh, Erza, remind me to never tell you anything in secret again,” the pink haired man said from next to Lucy, and the woman chuckled lightly. “I mean, it’s true, but thanks for putting me on the spot like that,” he grumbled, grabbing his phone with his free hand and tapping on the touch screen a few times before he held it out for Lucy to take. “I’ve seen it on your playlist before, and I’ve already divided the lyrics between what you and I’ll sing, shouldn’t be too hard to figure out.”  
Lucy took the phone being held out to her, a grin crossing her features at the song choice, and she gave a quick scan over the lyrics’ division with a short nod at the end. She noticed Natsu gave her a few spotlight moments in the melody, and took all of the screaming moments for himself; she hadn’t known he could actually scream like the song required, but was curious to hear him do it. Tapping a few times to share the note into her own phone so she could look over it and practice it at home, she held the phone back to her boyfriend with a smile.  
“So, when do we begin filming?”  
“Ah...” This time, it was Jellal who chuckled nervously, tapping his fingertips on the table as he looked at Lucy. “Actually, we could only reserve the recording studio and the filming location for an hour from now, which is why we let Natsu choose a song you knew,” he said sheepishly, and Lucy’s eyes widened slightly. “I mean, we spent the past week figuring out each of our parts, Natsu said it’d be okay even if we just kind of sprung this on you because you were great like that, and, well, we believed him.”  
“Natsu!” Lucy turned her face towards her boyfriend, glaring softly at the man without much heat behind it. She was a little angry at such a short notice on the need for her cooperation, but his pouting lips and puppy dog eyes meant she couldn’t remain angry for long. Sighing, she looked back at her expecting friends and nodded. “Alright, alright. Let me just focus on the lyrics for a moment. Can we practice at all before we record?” At Erza’s nod, Lucy’s shoulders slumped as she resigned to her fate, grabbing her phone and imagining in her head the way the song would end.  
After a few minutes of this, Lucy grew frustrated at trying to picture it in her head, and leaned back slightly into Natsu’s arm, poking his side to release her feelings but ending up laughing at his squirming reaction.  
“You guys think if we go to the studio now they’d let us in a little early to practice?”  
After her question, the friends all rose from their table to pay their bill and go try their luck. Thankfully, they were able to go into the studio a little early to practice, Lucy warming up her voice with the techniques she’d learned from her vocal lessons in the past, knowing she was going to need it in tip-top shape if she was to record the song, which could take a few tries. After thirty minutes of warming up and practicing a few different lines, the friends were ready to press record - they were doing a live recording, which meant the video and studio recording wasn’t going to be separate, it was going to be recorded as if it was a performance.  
The first two times they tried to record, something had gone wrong - at first, a misplaced wire tripped Gray and had him ungraciously falling back on his ass, a string of curses escaping his lips as his friends laughed at his misfortune; the second time, they were halfway through the song when they realized one of the cameras wasn’t on. Luckily, it seemed that third time was, as legend said, the charm, and they were able to record from start to finish without a hitch.  
Lucy had thought that was the end of it, but as the rest of her friends gathered around a computer, she realized that it was time to edit the video. Thankfully, it seemed Jellal was very knowledgeable in that area, and once they’d seen the video from all the different angles they’d filmed it, he began puzzling together different pieces, using simple transitions between clips and editing the light and coloring of the video to give it a bit of a darker mood. Lucy was transfixed at his skill, so much so that she didn’t notice the hours pass as they remained huddled around the man.  
“Ok, I think that’s it,” Jellal said with a happy sigh, leaning back into his girlfriend who kissed his shoulder before she massaged it softly. “Everyone ready to see the masterpiece?” He asked, rubbing one of his eyes, which was enough indication on how tired he was. Lucy glanced at the clock then and realized that four hours had passed since they’d begun recording, and her stomach tumbled slightly at the thought of how long she’d been without food. Still, she ignored it and nodded enthusiastically at his question, genuinely excited to see their final result.  
Jellal pressed play on the screen, and Lucy grinned as their band’s name flickered on the screen, with hers below as a featured artist, while a few keys on a piano were played by her in the background. The names disappeared, replaced by the name of the song, which flickered a few times until it went out and the piano was replaced with Erza’s drumsticks hitting their respective drums, and Jellal’s hands on the bass, matching the sound.  
Jellal had managed, with the help of a black backdrop they’d placed in the studio, to give the video a eerie feeling of darkness that Lucy felt matched the song perfectly, and she watched as the image on the screen was replaced with that of Natsu’s lips moving along the lyrics, close enough that the rest of his face was hidden, but not close enough that they could see inside his mouth.  
[“ _With a cold embrace, you bring me to my knees... like a waste of space, leave me here to bleed..._ ”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM_cL7uKKZg) Natsu began the song, and the image appeared to glitch a few times between his face, his hands on the guitar, and the necklace he was wearing. “ _When silence speaks louder than a thousand screams, all I really need is a taste of fucking clarity!_ ” At that point, Jellal had managed to make it look like lights were flicked on, and the image panned out to one of the whole band, minus Lucy who wasn’t in this part of the song just yet. “All this time, you’ve complicated everything in my head!”  
The chorus came strong, and this time the video flickered between light and darkness, all the dark parts being a spoiler for Lucy’s presence, a few shots of her lips, her hands on a microphone stand, her closed eyes. She had to admit it looked really good, well timed with the words.  
“ _Feels like I’m falling, dreaming of insomnia, dreaming of insomnia, in my head..._ ” Natsu had sung as the images flickered between each other, every time there was a mention of the disease Lucy’s closed eyes showing up. “ _Feels like I’m falling, dreaming of insomnia, dreaming of insomnia - who will save me now?_ ” The video’s light moments all turned black as Natsu screamed, and Lucy watched in expectation as the song calmed once more, and watched her face show up on the screen, brown eyes piercing through the camera right back at her as she began singing.  
“ _What if I give in, let you be under my skin?_ ” She watched herself smirk and felt almost embarrassed to continue looking, but couldn’t stand to look away. “ _Would you save me then? Keep me free from sin..._ ” The song picked up rhythm again and the video panned out to an image of her where Natsu had stood, one hand gripping the microphone as the other held the stand, her eyes becoming harder as she sang higher. “ _When silence speaks louder than a thousand screams, all I really need is a taste of fucking clarity!_ ”  
The image flickered once more, and this time she could see herself facing Natsu, two microphone stands between them as they faced each other as they sang the pre-chorus together, Lucy on the main vocals and Natsu joining for the back track.  
“ _All this time, you’ve complicated everything in my head!_ ” They sang together before Natsu moved away from his place, focusing on his guitar as he played with Gray, Lucy taking the chorus for herself. “ _Feels like I’m falling, dreaming of insomnia, dreaming of insomnia, in my head... Feels like I’m falling, dreaming of insomnia, dreaming of insomnia, who will save me?_ ”  
The song dropped to a short guitar break, and the video showed Gray expertly moving his fingers along the bridge of his guitar as he plucked at its strings, before Natsu’s scream returned and the rest of the band joined in on the heavy breakdown. Albeit short, the video was used to focus on each of the band members during this break, showcasing them playing their hearts out and their abilities before the image changed once again to focus on Natsu and Lucy, who were now back to back, Natsu’s hands on his guitar as he sang into the microphone on its stand, Lucy holding her microphone in her hand as her head leaned back on the pink haired man’s shoulder.  
“ _In due time..._ ” They sang the same melody before diverging slowly into their own field, leaving Lucy to sing alone for the next line. “ _I’ll find a way to get you out of my head..._ ” By now, Natsu was back to screaming as Lucy continued to sing melodically, the beauty in the contrast in their voices only rivaled by how good they looked as Lucy sang to the ceiling while her hand gripped back at Natsu’s jacket as if trying to push him away but being unable to, while he sang with his head facing down as if in desperation. “ _My head, my head..._ ” Lucy stopped singing then, pushing away from Natsu this time as the video zoomed into him. “ _Get out of my head_!” He screamed one last time.  
The song moved back into the chorus then, and Lucy watched herself turn in the screen to face Natsu as she continued to sing, circling around him until they were standing face to face.  
“ _Feels like I’m falling, dreaming of insomnia, dreaming of insomnia, in my head..._ ” Lucy saw the image of her on the screen reach for Natsu and hold onto his jacket again, but this time it looked like he was her lifeline, tethering her to reality in that moment; it looked like, if she let go, she’d really end up falling back into nothingness. “ _Feels like I’m falling!_ ” Lucy held out her high note then, Natsu filling in the chorus. “ _Dreaming of insomnia,_ ” he sang, before Lucy joined again. “ _Dreaming of insomnia!_ ” She held out her note again, the image on the screen shaking in tandem with her voice as she fell to her knees as if fading into nothing, while Natsu sang the end of the chorus behind her.  
The image flickered to black as only Gray’s guitar was heard, and then began to fade back in on an image of all five of them performing as Natsu’s whisper-voice began to get louder. “ _Now, Let me be what I wanna be... let me wanna I wanna be.._.” As Natsu’s screaming began, the image on the screen appeared to glitch between different shots of the five of them, individually and collectively, laid over the main shot of them performing the finishing of the song. “ _Now, let me be what I wanna be! Now, let me be what I wanna be! Now, let me be what I wanna be! Now, let me be what I wanna be, now!_ ”  
The song ended abruptly, but the video faded to black as it showed the five of them recovering their breath before it was finished. There was a short silence between them before Gray, of all people, broke the moment with a loud whoop, a grin stretched on his lips as he patted Jellal on his shoulder.  
“Fuck, man! That looks great!” The guitarist complimented, and soon everyone joined in, Erza making sure her fiancé wasn’t pulled too hard by any of the other men in the room as they congratulated his work. Lucy chose to simply smile at the man and give a small, appreciative nod, watching him grin back tiredly before he uploaded the video to their band channel, stretching back into the redhead and leaning his head back to receive a kiss from the woman.  
After their time in the studio was over and the five of them were done with their project, they ended up going their separate ways, too tired to go out and celebrate a job well done. Lucy ended up home with Natsu, who made her something light to eat before they showered and went to bed, sleep taking over the two of them as they laid in each other’s arms.  
Lucy’s last thought, that day, was that maybe she wouldn’t mind it so much if she was invited into their band, if every day turned out as fulfilling as that day had been.


	6. Redo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright folks! Plenty of song links for this one, particularly because I wanted to include different characters from other anime I've watched for the fun of it. Some of them will even make a comeback!!!  
> If there's any doubt about who is who, I'll explain further at the end!

A few weeks passed quickly, undisturbed by any major events in Lucy’s life as it settled, at last, into normalcy. Her days were mostly spent at work, in the company of Levy as the two talked happily about which books they preferred and what kind of changes they’d make to ones they weren’t so in love with. After work, Lucy kept up the habit of heading to the town square, but instead of leaving it when she knew Natsu and their friends would arrive to play their daily dose of entertainment for the usual crowd, she’d started staying to watch with a smile on her lips. After that, they’d either all go somewhere together, or her and the pink haired man would go somewhere on their own, and usually he stayed over on those nights.  
Lucy had, as well, been assisting her friends with their band practices, although they were never too long. Ever since they’d published their cover video online, the band had been more focused than ever on getting better, especially after receiving an invitation to join a kingdom wide battle of the bands, that was due the next day, now. Although they hadn’t asked her to join, Lucy had offered during one of the many nights her and Natsu had spent together, and so they’d agreed that they’d only participate if she was singing; as luck would have it, she was familiar with their song choice, and although they’d arranged it so Natsu could sing it in a lower key, it took no time to get them all playing on the original key, and for Lucy to learn the English translation, as the song wasn’t in that language in the first place.  
Despite that, life had been slowing down, and Lucy managed to finish writing her manuscript, and had already printed several copies to hand to different publishers, hoping one would find her storytelling appealing enough to take on. She knew it wasn’t perfect by any means, but she knew she’d have an editor work with her on the sharper edges in order to smooth her work into a brilliant diamond she hoped would sell. She wasn’t very much interested in how much money she could get from it, although she wondered about it, but instead wanted simply to get her fiction out there, hoping her book could be a staple in someone else’s life, like many books had been in hers.  
So far, unfortunately, she’d heard nothing.  
She was feeling particularly dejected by the lack of response from the publishers today, as she sighed with her head leaning on her hand. She was manning the small desk at her work when she heard the bell above the front door ring, and forced herself to smile brightly at the person walking in, choosing to hide her sullen feelings from whoever it was. Her brown eyes spotted a green-haired man walk towards her, his eyes glancing around before they settled on her face and he gave a small smile.  
“Lucy Heartfilia?,” the man asked, his hair bouncing slightly from where it flowed, pulled into a high ponytail with only his bangs over his forehead, as he moved a small briefcase he was holding to under his arm so he could extend his hand for the woman to shake. He must’ve spotted the hesitation in Lucy’s eyes, because his smile became slightly awkward. “I apologize, should’ve introduced myself first. My name’s Freed Justine, I’m an editor from Thunder Legion,” he said, and Lucy’s breath escaped her before he’d even continued. “We received your manuscript and I was tasked with the mission to come have a chat with you about it, if you could spare me some time.”  
“Lu, isn’t it about time for your lunch anyway?” Levy’s voice broke through from behind one of the shelves, and Lucy looked from the man’s hand to where it came from, spotting her friend walk towards the desk with a beautiful large smile on her lips. “I’m sure I can manage for the next hour, go,” she continued, using her hands to usher Lucy out of her chair. “And don’t leave the poor man hanging,” she chastised playfully, but it brought a blush to Lucy’s face anyway as she realized that the editor had continued to hold out his hand for the blonde to shake.  
“Oh, my, I’m so sorry!” She apologized pitifully, reaching out both her hands to shake Freed’s held out one, grinning nervously. “What first impression, huh?” She chuckled awkwardly, pulling her hands back from his before it became too awkward. She rounded the desk with quick steps, her voice wavering as her heart pumped in expectation. “There’s a restaurant just around the corner, if you’d like. I do apologize for inviting you to lunch like this but I do need to use my lunch hour now.”  
“I was hoping you would, actually. I figure it might be easier to discuss this elsewhere, and I haven’t had lunch yet.”  
With their plans set, Lucy and Freed headed out of the book store, Lucy giving a small wave and hopeful smile in Levy’s direction, and walked the short distance to the restaurant. Their lunch proved fruitful for the young author as she talked her manuscript over with the man, listening to him speak on a few key points he’d already made some annotations on, and heard the proposal from the publisher he was representing. Lucy knew she should’ve waited for more offers, should’ve kept her options open, but Freed had been so enthusiastic, and the proposal he’d come with meant a very sweet deal for her, so she hadn’t hesitated when she’d agreed to it. By the time her lunch hour was over, Lucy felt like she was walking on cloud nine, and ended up giving the slightly taller man a tight, emotional hug and a kiss on the cheek, right outside the restaurant they’d eaten at, before they parted ways.  
She walked with a spring in her step all the way back to work, and her giddiness followed her throughout the rest of her work day. By the time she was done, she bid farewell to Levy with a hug as well, humming a happy tune under her breath as she made her way to the town square to wait for her friends to show up. Lucy was ecstatic, excited to tell them the big news, but the feeling began to melt away as time wore on, and her friends never showed. As she was sure they knew she was waiting, as they’d agreed they would only play a couple songs so they could go practice for the battle of the bands, she found their lack of presence worrisome. Her happiness was replaced with terror as her mind began playing tricks, leading her to believe something seriously terrible had happened.  
She was trying to pull herself out of a panic attack by counting any bird she could see in her vicinity, even though night had already fallen, when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. The buzzing broke her out of her reverie immediately and she reached for it with shaking hands, hoping it was a text from her boyfriend to let her know they’d just forgotten about their agreement and that he was waiting for her at her apartment. Holding out the hope for as long as possible, her thumb took a few tries to type out her passcode before she was finally able to open the message she’d received.  
Reading it, she wished she hadn’t.  
“Lucy,” it read, a bad feeling setting in her gut at being called so formally, considering it was Natsu and he almost never called her by her first name. “Please don’t contact me again. I thought you and I were doing good, but apparently we’re not. It’s ok. We’ll find another singer for the battle.”  
Lucy read the message many times over, although after a few times she had to blink several times to combat the blur of it before she could make sense of the words again. She didn’t understand what it meant, despite it being spelled out - she was sure there had to be a mistake somewhere, or maybe Natsu was simply playing a very elaborate, very painful prank on her. Even if that was the case, it would be better than facing the fact that the man was breaking up with her over text, with no explanation whatsoever, and cutting all her ties with the friends she’d begun to think of as family, just like that.  
Despite his request, Lucy tried calling his number, but she never made it far - the call never made it through, almost as if her number wasn’t supposed to get through to his, for some reason. She realized, after a few attempts, that most likely he’d blocked her number so she couldn’t call him. She tried texting him once, but when the message never sent, she realized that it had, indeed, been what had happened.  
Feeling the edge of another panic attack begin to grip at her insides, she forced her smartphone closer to her face so she could focus on the screen enough to look through her contact list. She was scrolling down to reach Levy’s name, but when Gajeel’s contact showed up first, she figured it was just as good. She pressed the little telephone icon on her screen once she’d opened his contact information and put the phone up to her ear, listening to it ring a few times before Gajeel’s gruffly voice replaced it.  
“Hey Bunny Girl, why’re you callin’ me?” The man said as way of greeting, and Lucy knew she had to reply, to explain, but all she managed was a broken sob, which she tried to cover with her hand. “Oi, are you crying?” The man asked, and Lucy nodded despite the fact he couldn’t see, managing a small, sad plea into the microphone. “Okay, tell me where you are, I’ll come get you, c’mon,” he continued, and Lucy sniffled amid soft sobs in order to clear her voice enough to tell her where he could find her; it was harder than she imagined, and she could feel her brain begin to cloud over with darkness, but tried to hold on a little longer. “Good, that’s not too far. Ya think you’ll be okay for a few minutes? I’m already on my way.”  
“Don’t... don’t hang up,” Lucy begged, this time her words being stopped by a wretched sob she couldn’t hold back. She bent over where she sat, feeling her throat begin to hurt as she felt bile rise up. Her panic attacks had taken many forms in the past, so she wasn’t completely unfamiliar with what came next, but she cried harder anyway, wanting nothing more than to stop feeling this, stop feeling everything, all at once. She forced herself to swallow back the vomit trying to come out, wanting to make sure Gajeel didn’t leave her alone. “K-keep talking, please...” Her throat hurt as she spoke, but as she heard the man continue to talk to her over the phone, she felt grateful for her perseverance.  
She gripped the wooden bench with her free hand when she felt she could no longer hold herself back, and amidst his words she ended up puking all over the ground, barely making it in time to move her feet away from it. To any passerby, she knew she looked like she was too drunk to handle, but inside her mind she could only see black, her heart beating painfully against her rib cage as she emptied her lunch onto the ground. She couldn’t even make out what exactly it looked like, the image blurred by her stream of tears, but as she heaved as nothing else came out, the smell began to overwhelm her and she tried hard to move back, trapping herself against the back of the bench.  
“Lucy, hey, Lucy, it’s okay, I’m here, let’s go,” she heard a voice but couldn’t quite place it, even though it was familiar. She felt like she was caged, as if something was weighing her down and holding her against her will, and tried to break out but her arms and legs wouldn’t obey. She sobbed louder, her emotions overflowing her fragile body as she let herself fall to the side, curling up as she felt strong arms pick her up. “Holy sh— fuck, bunny girl, what’s going on?”  
The nickname stirred something inside Lucy and she remembered Gajeel, who she’d called, was supposed to go meet her at the square. She figured she was being carried by him and stopped offering resistance, her hand instead holding onto his shirt, scrunching it up in her fist. She couldn’t speak, not yet, but found a slight comfort in knowing she wasn’t alone, allowing that to tether her to reality instead of floating deeper into her panic attack. She hyperventilated as she tried to keep her emotions in check, and as she heard a new voice ask what was wrong, she realized Gajeel took her to the house he shared with his wife, Levy.  
She appreciated the cold compress one of them placed on her forehead after she was gently placed on a soft couch, and closed her eyes as she felt her body exhaust itself, too tired to even allow itself to panic. The pain in her heart remained, but she figured that would remain for as long as she loved Natsu. Thinking of the man made it worse but she let it happen, her brain conjuring images of his wide grin and gentle kisses; she thought of his gorgeous voice as he sang in her ear as she fell asleep, and how good it felt to be held in his arms, as if he was her safe haven.  
“Lu... Lu, what happened?” Levy’s voice was soft, laced with worry, and the blonde forced her eyes open so she could look at her blue-haired friend, who was sitting next to her. It hurt her to see the worry in Levy’s soft features so she looked away, but found Gajeel by the door with the same expression and couldn’t face him either. “Lu, you... I know you said you had panic attacks, but that seemed a lot... more...”  
“N-Natsu,” Lucy stumbled through his name, cleared her throat and then tried again. “H-he sent me a text... Breaking up,” she tried to explain through the ache in her chest, and one of her hands went to where it hurt the most, almost as if she could soften the pain by shielding her heart from it. “He said we weren’t good together, and he’d find s-someone else to sing for the band, and not to contact him again.” The longer she spoke, the easier it felt to do so, and she realized it was because all of her pain was turning into apathy. She’d been like this before, for brief moments, but had always tried to break out of it - but not this time. She allowed the nothingness to swallow her, and her eyes closed again. “I don’t know why. But he must’ve blocked my number because I can’t call or text him.”  
“That fucking idiot,” she heard Gajeel grumble to her right, still by the door, but didn’t react to it. Her hand, still on her chest, poked once at where she was still hurting to check if maybe, somehow, there was a physical wound there, but found nothing. “He may have blocked your number but he’s got a fucking storm coming,” he threatened and Lucy wanted to ask him to stop, that she didn’t deserve his efforts, but was unable to make the words fall from her lips. She heard him stomp away from the room and sighed heavily, feeling more like a burden than she’d ever felt.  
“Lu, I’ll go make some tea. You think you’ll be fine with being alone for a little while?” Levy asked, and Lucy nodded just once, hoping her friend was looking at her and caught it. It seemed she was, as she felt Levy’s hand brush some of her hair back before she heard her get up and walk away from the couch. She heard Levy mutter some words to her cat before she felt the pet’s presence on her lap, and moved her free hand to gently caress its soft fur as it seemed to have taken over the duty of watching over her.  
The blonde, heartbroken girl never heard Levy or Gajeel come back, her body falling into a deep, exhausted slumber. She dreamt of pink and green hues, of tanned hands and white smiles, of words left unsaid and shattered future plans. She saw images of hurt and pleasure mingled together, of sadness and happiness intertwined. When she awoke, many hours later and now covered with a soft fleece blanket, she felt the pain in heart double and didn’t feel rested at all, but didn’t move. It was still dark out, she could see from the slight cracks amid the curtains, but she knew she’d have no chance of falling back asleep.  
For hours, she looked at the ceiling, trying to put together thoughts, a reason as to why this was happening, but her brain came up short. She couldn’t find a moment in the ones she shared with Natsu where it felt like they didn’t fit in together; she couldn’t find a moment where she thought he hadn’t been happy by her side, but maybe she had just been too naive, too clouded by her own happiness. The more she thought about it, the more the pain in her heart grew, but the woman kept at it, wanting to find something, anything, that justified all of this so she could correct it. She was cataloguing their moments together, and their moments with their friends, but couldn’t find a single thing - except, maybe, she was looking in all the wrong places. Maybe Natsu had simply grown tired of how unstable she was; maybe he’d found someone better for him.  
“Bunny girl, you okay?” She heard Gajeel’s voice and looked down from the ceiling to find the man crouching in front of her, his lips set in a worried line; she’d been so lost in thought she hadn’t noticed him walk in, even. “That was a dumb question. Anyway. I’m gonna make breakfast, there’s someone here for you in the meantime,” he stated, rising to his feet and giving a nod off to his side before he walked away and to the kitchen.   
Lucy didn’t watch him go, instead focusing on the newcomers. She watched Juvia’s hand squeeze Gray’s gently before she let him go and followed after Gajeel out of the room, and her brown, tired eyes focused on the man. His hair was unkempt, as if he’d spent most of the night messing with it, and she could see the worry and confusion in his eyes as he walked closer. She hoped, although she knew she shouldn’t hope for anything anymore, that Gray would be able to explain what had happened.  
“Lucy, what the hell happened?” He asked, and Lucy’s hope exited her as she exhaled, trying to move into a straighter position. Her body hurt all over, which should be a consequence of how badly she’d slept, but she forced herself to endure it. “Natsu was freaking out yesterday, saying it was all over between you two, that you’d found someone better...” Gray said, frowning. “Saying how he saw you with some other dude,” he continued, and Lucy’s eyes narrowed. “But then Gajeel called Juvia at night saying you’re crying and he’s never seen someone look so...” He didn’t finish, but Lucy knew he meant to say she looked broken.  
“I... I have no idea what happened,” she said honestly, hearing the clutter of Juvia and Gajeel working together on breakfast in the kitchen. Her lips were set in a frown as she tried to make sense of what Gray had just told her. “I’ve no idea what Natsu meant about seeing me with some other guy, I’ve never...” Her voice trailed off until she stopped completely, and her eyes widened slightly. “Freed.” She said only his name before her face was overtaken by an angry storm, and she looked straight at Gray. “Did he tell you when? Did he say what the man looked like?”  
“He said he was gonna go have lunch with you yesterday, but came back and started saying all that,” Gray explained, and Lucy’s hands balled into fists by her sides. She recalled her giddy happiness as she had lunch with the green-haired man, and how she’d hugged him and even kissed his cheek by the end of it; had Natsu seen all that, and simply assumed she was cheating?  
“He’s a fucking idiot!” She yelled in frustration, surprising herself and the people in the house with how loud she’d spoken. “He didn’t even think to ask me why I was having lunch with that man? Didn’t even trust me enough to allow me to explain myself?” Feeling the anger boost her energy, she threw the blanket to the side and shot to her feet, pacing around the living room. “That idiot got all angry because he saw me having lunch with Freed, and didn’t think to ask me what was that about? I could kill him!”  
“Uh... Lucy, who’s Freed?” Gray asked, worry lacing his features as he watched Lucy pace back and forth.  
“He’s my editor!” She replied in a yell, groaning right after. “One of the publishers I sent my manuscript to sent him over to make me an offer, and we went to lunch to discuss it! I was happy because I accepted, and was so fucking excited to tell you all.” Lucy grit her teeth and felt her energy wean out of her, so she flopped back down to the couch, head resting on her hands as she sighed. “I can’t believe he’d jump straight to conclusions and wouldn’t even trust me...”  
“Lucy...” Understanding, Gray reached out a hand to the blonde’s shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. “I’m not gonna make excuses for that Flame Brain, but he’s always been quick to act out like that... He’s, uh, very intense. Feels things more than anyone I know, be it love or pain or hate,” the dark-haired man spoke gently, and Lucy found herself blinking back tears. “I’m not sure he was thinking straight when he said all that. He said we’d find someone else for the battle, today, but that’s virtually impossible, too. He’s just a big dumbass.”  
Lucy found herself, surprisingly, chuckling at Gray’s words, sniffling back her imminent tears as she gave a small nod.  
“He’s an idiot,” she acquiesced, one of her hands swiping at the tears that had managed to roll down her cheeks. “But I love that idiot,” she admitted, and wished she could’ve said those words for the first time in a much different situation; she wanted the object of her affection to be the first to hear it, but the words had tumbled out of her lips before she could catch them. “I... You think I can talk some sense into him before the show? I don’t... I don’t know if we’ll be a hundred percent okay after the talk, but I want to clarify things. And sing with you all, if you’ll have me.”  
“I... I don’t know if he’ll be willing to hear you out before our performance,” Gray sighed gently, squeezing her shoulder again. “But if I just say I’ve found a singer, and that singer happens to be you and you only show up right in time to sing, he’ll have no escape afterwards,” he mused, and Lucy considered it for a second. She didn’t want to trap Natsu like that, but she could see Gray’s point - if she tried to talk to him before the performance and he refused, he might not even show up for the battle of the bands.  
“I’ll help you out with that,” Gajeel added as he walked into the room, a tray of food in hand. “I know the guy setting up stuff for the show, I’ll ask him for a mic before you guys are supposed to go up, and we’ll figure out a way to get you on stage in time, but without Natsu seeing.” Lucy looked at the determination in Gajeel’s eyes, and nodded slightly in agreement as he put the food down by the time in front of her. She didn’t really feel hungry, but knew she had to eat something if she wanted to make it through the day.  
“Okay. Lucy, I’ve gotta go now, I promised the rest of the guys I’d be at Erza’s bright and early to make some finishing touches and help load up the cart. Will you be okay?”  
After Lucy had assured Gray she’d be fine, and had allowed Juvia to pull her into a hug with a whispered ‘good luck’ in her ear, Lucy settled in the couch to eat the food Gajeel had made her, with him on her right and Levy to her left. The three ate quietly, and Lucy appreciated it - she had so many thoughts running through her head, she was sure it’d break if there was any more noise. She had much to think about, much to consider, and she used the moments they were all too engrossed in their food to let her brain roam.  
When they finished, Levy took their dishes and went about doing them after saying her goodbye to Lucy and Gajeel for the day. The man walked Lucy to her home to allow her to shower and change into a performance worthy outfit, waiting for her in her living room.  
When Lucy came out, she was wearing thigh high boots with gold strips near the top, a purple dress that was open at the front, revealing the end of her black bodice underneath, but extended down to her shins in the back with fluffy feathers at the collar (with some pinned to her hair as well), and detached sleeves she’d secured over her arms. There were golden strips detailing the dress’s lines, and the lighter colored top had some dark blue designs that seemed to accentuate the shape of Lucy’s body in it. She knew she looked eccentric, and if it wasn’t for the fact she’d be performing, she normally wouldn’t wear this kind of outfit, but she appreciated Gajeel’s playful whistle as a compliment.  
Grabbing her purse and slinging it over her torso, she followed Gajeel to the venue where the battle of the bands was being held - a large field just over the lake that separated Magnolia from the rest of Fiore, which was now brimming with people. Gajeel led Lucy to the separate area where both sound and light technicians were setting up, using his own pass to grant them entrance. He guided her through the swarm of people doing their work, until he found his friend and explained the situation to the man. They couldn’t keep the microphone through the other performances, so Gajeel would have to leave Lucy by herself through the perfomance prior to hers, but she felt okay with it.  
Having decided the details on how that would work, Lucy and Gajeel left to join the crowd swarming the front of the stage, finding a spot near the front but not too close to anyone else, standing more to the side. There had been a list detailing the order of the performances, and Lucy had found her turn near the middle of the rest of the bands. She’d made sure to bring with her a warm thermos with tea so she could keep her throat hydrated before her performance, wanting to clear it of the roughness she’d felt the night before.  
As the performances began, she crossed her arms over her chest to observe the competition, appreciating the different sounds and genres that got up on stage. There were heavier bands that seemed to get the crowd roaring, as well as softer, acoustic performances that called for people to hold up their phones even though it made no light against the sunny sky.  
There was a particular band Lucy herself felt touched by, four boys who seemed to be no older than high school or early college, with [a touching song about losing someone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnSziXvNJTQ) that brought a few tears to Lucy’s eyes. She saw the ginger-haired lead singer and guitarist get teary-eyed as well, his voice showing how he felt about the song perfectly, and when he was held by the other guitarist as they made their way out of the stage, she wasn’t surprised.  
A few performances later, there was an excitable performance from a band composed of two girls, one with pink hair on bass, and another with long brown hair on guitar, one younger blonde boy on drums, and a man with black hair, and the most striking blue eyes Lucy had ever seen, singing. [The man moved about the stage in runs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-o8pTi6vd8), jumping up and down in rhythm, and touching his band mates very often; she saw the boy behind the drums roll his eyes one of the times the man came over to bother him and couldn’t help her small chuckle. They looked almost like a family, up on that stage. The lead singer used a guitar solo break to play with the crowd, holding out his hand to the people holding their own hand back, and even winked at Lucy when he spotted her laughing at his antics.  
“Hey, bunny girl, I’m gonna go get that microphone now, okay?” Gajeel interrupted Lucy’s watching a few performances later, but she only nodded, distracted. Up on stage, there was band of five, all of them female except for the drummer, and Lucy felt intrigued. The lead singer was younger, and yet her hair was completely white, and she was dressed in white as well, a short dress with a long coat behind it; the guitarist and the pianist were most definitely twins, but their hair was different colors - the guitarist had blue hair, the pianist had pink, but both of them dressed in maid outfits. The bassist was a smaller woman with long curls bouncing from her two pigtails, her big, puffy dress not hindering her playing. The man behind the drums was wearing a simple tracksuit, his hair slicked back as he hit his instrument as if his life depended on it.  
She was so taken by[ their performance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-NuxWkYtlI) she didn’t notice Gajeel had yet to return, not until she saw her friends go up on stage.  
She watched the four of them exchange whispers as they set up, and longed to be up there with them; she wanted nothing more than to be a part of this moment, wanted to have cheered with them backstage as they vowed to do their best, wanted to have been part of this memory. She knew, however, that it wasn’t in the cards - Natsu looked absolutely devastated as he played around with his guitar, and Gray was exchanging concerned looks with both Erza and Jellal without him noticing. Lucy began to feel antsy as Gajeel took his time to return, and swiveled her head around to try and spot him, but to no avail. Before long, she heard the sound of the amp being turned on and the beginning chords of the song they were performing, and panic gripped at her heart.  
She turned, however, when she felt a hand on her shoulder and found Gajeel standing there, breathing heavily as he held out the microphone to her, which she was quick to turn on as she turned toward the stage again, holding the microphone up to her lips as she closed her eyes to sing.  
[“ _Trapped within my own past, lost, persuading myself by saying 'that’s not true'_ ,” she began](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQulCltPdRY), forgetting that she was supposed to be singing the English translation. When her friends had talked to her about what song they’d chosen, they’d never asked if she could sing the japanese version - they’d assumed that, like her sister, she’d never learned the language. However, having grown up in the Clives family, she’d learned both English and Japanese ever since she was young, as her adoptive mother, Cornelia, was Japanese herself. “ _Everything then goes as if I could freely puppeteer events…As if... With an 'I don’t know', the sky grows hazy - Where is the right path?_ ” She opened her eyes and looked at the stage, seeing the surprised looks in her friends’ faces, and took a moment to register the pained expression in Natsu’s face as well, before looking away.  
“ _The only thing left in my hands is the remaining important 'thing'-_ ” she continued to sing as she turned to Gajeel once more, following him as the man began to lead her away from the crowd and towards the steps on the side of the stage. “ _Unforgettable memories, no matter how many times,_ ” she sang as she began to ascend, stopping at the top of the stairs to the side of the stage as she moved to the next line. “' _I’ll protect you until the end!' I scream,_ ” She started moving again, eyes flickering between her friends’ faces as she headed towards the center of the stage. “ _Within the rewind, the love I’ve grasped, yes,_ ” she stopped and turned towards the crowd, raising her hand to the sky as she sang the final line before the chorus, “ _I won’t let it go_!”  
“ _Now, if only just once, let my set feelings go towards this wish: I’ve entrusted it to the ‘next’ me._ ” Lucy continued to put her all into the song, her hand lowering as she faced the crowd before she turned her back on her boyfriend and turned to Gray, giving him a soft smile as he grinned widely at her. She could see the concern in his eyes, still, but it was masked as he rushed headfirst into his guitar playing. “ _The promise of someday, its light will become a guide. This oath exists, well, for your sake until the end!_ ” Lucy had been moving along to the guitar, her head giving a small nod at each point the guitar was struck, but stopped then, her hand sprawled over her chest as she hit it with her words, gently. “ _If just my tears would just change into power, then surely the future I desired, depicted in my mind, will connect!_ ”  
There was a short break from her singing and she turned to the crowd again, heading towards the edge of the stage and crouching down, extending her hand towards the people as she began singing again.  
“ _I’m going mad from this reality that exceeds my imagination. What has me digging fingernails into my skin is my writhing, struggling heart_ ,” she sang softer this time, holding a hand she recognized as the blue-eyed man she’d seen perform earlier, before she let it go and straightened up. “ _How many times have I made a life mistake? I’m beginning to hate all these do-overs... But even if I cry…_ ” Taking a deep breath, she finally turned to face Natsu, her eyes sad as she saw him turn away from her at that exact moment. Her heart hurt, but she took a step towards him anyway, voice gentler than before as she sang the next line. “ _Your yearning was always so glittering,_ ” she sang, hearing Gray fill in for the in between as she continued to step towards her lover until she was within arms’ reach. “ _I guess I’ll just have to fight against it - fate, that is._ ” Gray began singing again, and Lucy reached for Natsu’s shoulder but before she could reach he pulled away, tugging painfully at her heartstrings as he did so. She stood frozen for a few moments, but broke out of it when she felt Jellal nudge her, and turned to the crowd again. “ _Because I can’t go givin’ up!_ ”  
The song moved to the second chorus with Lucy facing her pain head on, choosing to continue her performance despite the fact she could feel tears prickle at her eyes. She moved around the stage the best she could without compromising her vocals, her hands touching each of her friends as she passed them, and when the song turned to a short instrumental part, she turned her back to the crowd, standing in front of Erza as she played her drums, while she wiped away a few escaping tears. The song slowed right after, and Lucy turned to face the left of the stage, her back still to Natsu.  
“ _Even if you, hypothetically, forget about me... You can forget..._ ” she sang, first over the piano she’d pre-recorded, and then over all the instruments as her friends joined into the song. She felt something on her back and froze, realizing from her position that it could only be Natsu, leaning back against her much like they’d done for their cover video " _But I won’t ever forget, I won’t let anyone get hurt!_ ” She turned slowly, glad that Natsu wasn’t moving away, and took a few steps around him until they were face to face. She immediately lifted a hand to his cheek to keep him in place, her hand gentle as her eyes bore into his, begging for him to understand. “ _It’s time to rescue the past that seems to have been erased,_ ” she sang softly, leaning up so her forward rested against his, their eyes locked on each other. “ _From here on out..._ ” There was a short pause, and Lucy held her note out during it, until all instruments died out and only her voice was heard. “ _I will begin_!”  
She pulled away from Natsu, hard as it was, and sang the last chorus with her friends, this time moving around the stage freely, her hand constantly reaching for the pink-haired guitarist. “ _Now, if only just once, let this moment that I keep returning to go towards this wish certainly, I’ve let it be entrusted!_ ” She headbanged along to the rhythm of the guitars as the song went on, controlling her voice so it wouldn’t show any signs of strain. “ _The promise of someday, its light will become a guide,_ ” she stopped moving then, and turned to Natsu again, seeing him bent over as he played. She began walking towards him, from the back where she had currently been with Erza, her steps slow and timed to her words. “ _This oath exists, well, for your sake until the end!_ ” She reached the man as he straightened and turned to the right to face the rest of the band. She followed behind him, her hand reaching for his shoulder from the back.  
“ _If just my tears would just change into power, then surely the future I desired, depicted in my mind, will connect!_ ” She finished singing and couldn’t help herself, even as the guitars were still going, from wrapping her arms around Natsu from the back, her face burying between his shoulder blades as the sounds died down. For a moment, she let herself stay there, forgetting the cheers from the crowd or the fact the two of them were sweating from the performance, and just held on tight, her heart pumping loud and heavy as it tried to break out of her chest. Before long, however, she felt him pull away and it was as if glass was breaking when he didn’t even spare her a second glance before heading out of the stage, even as their friends remained.  
Lucy watched him go with a pained expression, but before she could follow she was swept into Erza’s embrace, the woman squeezing the air out of her lungs before she let her go and they thanked the crowd. Lucy didn’t have much of a choice but to follow them as they walked her off the stage, barely registering the praise they were showering her with, not only due to how good her vocals had sounded, but also because they hadn’t been aware she was able to speak Japanese. She trailed behind the three friends that remained, her eyes moving over the crowd as she tried to spot her pink-haired lover, but couldn’t see him anywhere.  
“Lucy!” She heard a voice call, and her head turned sharply to see her sister and adoptive parents waving her over. She looked around once more for Natsu but was unable to find him, and so she let her feet carry her over to Cana. Before she reached the woman, however, she was already held tightly by Gildarts, who lifted her off the ground as if she was still as small as when they’d first met, and it brought a small laugh out of the blonde. “Dad, stop, you’re embarrassing everyone,” Cana grumbled from their side, and Lucy heard their father gasp as he was punched in the side.  
She was placed back on the ground carefully, and before she could even open her lips to greet her family, she felt Cana’s strong arms around her, a gentleness to her hold that Lucy didn’t miss. The last time she’d seen Cana, Lucy was barely eating or speaking, so she could only imagine how it felt to her sister to see her up on that stage. She felt guilt wash over her as she held tight to the brown-haired woman, a smile gracing her lips even though her eyes still searched for Natsu. She spotted pink hair amid some people far away, and before she could lose sight of it, she pushed her sister away gently.  
“Natsu!” Lucy called in a yell, and saw green eyes snap in her direction. She stumbled away from her sister, afraid he’d run, but instead saw him shove his hands in his pockets and turn his face away, waiting for her. She turned to her family, shooting an apologetic look in their direction as she noticed their confusion. “Sorry, I’ll be right back, promise,” she mumbled rapidly, before she took off, walking through the people around her until she’d reached her desired destination. “Natsu,” she began, but was interrupted by the man.  
“That’s your family?” He asked, and Lucy saw him look beyond her at the Clives. She glanced back at them as well, blushing lightly as she saw them staring openly at her, before she looked at Natsu once more, giving a small nod as a reply. “You should be with them, they’ve come all this way to see you after all.”  
“I’ll be with them once we’ve talked,” she replied, her tone serious as she took a deep breath. She watched as Natsu sighed, but nodded, finally turning his sad eyes onto her, breaking her a little. She wanted nothing more than to wipe the sadness from his face, kiss him until he smiled wide as he usually did, but knew that wasn’t possible. “You’re an idiot,” she said instead, frustration lacing her words, even as she saw Natsu’s eyes narrow in both confusion and anger. She watched his lips move to give her a reply, but cut him off before he could. “You are! How could you ever think I’d cheat on you?! I thought you trusted me more than that.”  
“I did,” he retorted quickly, and although Lucy couldn’t see it, she knew his hands were balled into fists inside his pockets. “But then I saw you with that green-haired idiot, all giddy, like you were on a date. You even kissed him! How could I not think you’re cheating on me?” Lucy heard the pain mixed with the anger in his words and looked away, unable to stare the man in the face as his eyes turned cold. “Look, if you didn’t really want to be with me all you had to do was say. I’d never force you if I knew you didn’t want it. You didn’t have to go behind my back.”  
“Shut up!” Lucy was angry now, and her words showed it. Her hands shook softly as she grabbed at his shirt, forcing herself to face him, even as tears brimmed in her eyes. “Do you hear yourself? Do you even realize what you’re saying, what you’re thinking of me? Have I shown you any reason not to trust me?” Her voice wavered for a second, but she pressed on. “That was a fucking editor from one of the publishers I sent my manuscript to. I was giddy because I’d just gotten a deal for my book and got a little carried away. If you’d just bothered to ask, I would’ve told you just that!”  
There was silence between the two, and Lucy stared hard at her lover as his eyes widened. She saw the guilt pass through his expression before she felt his hands rest upon hers, hesitant.  
“You... what?” He was clearly dumbfounded, and Lucy groaned softly but didn’t pull away. As much as she felt he deserved to have her pull away and give him a taste of his own medicine, she couldn’t bear the thought of dragging this misunderstanding any longer. “Luce... I...”  
“Shut up, you idiot,” she interrupted him, but there was no heat behind her words. Sighing, she smoothed her hands on his chest, looking down at them as she felt Natsu hold both of them. “I know I probably should feel more offended by what you implied, but I can’t stand this, Natsu,” she mumbled, her forehead moving to rest on his chest, their hands between them. “I love you, you big idiot. And I wanted to say that to you in better circumstances, but I’ve already told Gray anyway so what’s the point of making it a big deal?” The blonde looked up, her brown eyes flickering and memorizing Natsu’s expression of wonder, in that moment. “I’d never do anything like that to anyone, much less you.”  
“I don’t deserve you,” the man mumbled, but before he could find an excuse as to why that was true, Lucy leaned up and eagerly pressed her lips against his in a chaste kiss that lasted only a few seconds. When the kiss broke, Natsu’s forehead touched hers gently as the two remained close, breathing each other’s air as if they were one. “Fuck, Luce. I’m sorry,” he whispered, the guilt showing in his words even as he smiled gently. “Can you say that again?”  
“That you’re an idiot?” She teased gently, relishing in the sound of his soft chuckle. “I love you,” she smiled, leaning up to press another gentle kiss to his lips. “I love you so much, Natsu Dragneel. You may be an idiot but you’re my idiot, and I love you.”  
“I love you too, Luce,” he replied, and Lucy’s entire world seemed to shift its axis; she didn’t feel like it spun into the wrong position though - instead, it seemed like everything had finally fallen into place. “So damn much, I can’t even think straight,” he continued, and Lucy lifted a hand to his cheek, her thumb cleaning away a stray tear there. “I ended up hurting you because of how much I love you,” he mumbled, leaning into Lucy’s touch. “I’m sorry.”  
“Ssh, it’s fine,” the woman whispered, leaning up to press another soft peck to his lips. “I forgive you. But I need you to trust me a little more, okay? I need you to trust my love a little more,” she said in return to his soft sniffle, smiling when he gave a soft nod against her hand. “Good. Now we should probably clean up and I guess you’re meeting my family, since they haven’t stopped looking at us.” The blonde blushed lightly as she said that, and chuckled when she saw Natsu do the same. “Hope this means we haven’t really broken up, right?”  
“Not if I can help it,” he mumbled, leaning down to kiss her one last time before he pulled back, offering her a wide grin. Lucy felt her heart swell with glee at the sight - seeing Natsu happy like this was probably what she enjoyed doing the most; it made her feel at peace. “You think your dad’s gonna threaten me or something? He looks pretty intimidating,” the pink haired man confessed, and Lucy chuckled as she held his hand after cleaning up her own face.  
“It’s okay, he’s a little scary but he’s actually a big softy,” she admitted with a smile.  
As the couple began walking towards the Clives, Lucy felt lighter than ever before. The knowledge that Natsu loved her, that he didn’t want to leave her, was enough to make her feel like she could conquer the entire world, if she so desired. A few steps in, she felt him drop her hand and move his arm over her shoulders like he usually did, and, as she often did, she felt like she fit against his side like she’d been born to be there. She wrapped her own arm around his waist, not letting go even as they reached her family.  
“Lucy,” her father started, his eyes set on her boyfriend by her side, “who’s this?”  
“My boyfriend,” Lucy didn’t hesitate with her reply, even though she felt Natsu freeze slightly by her side. “His name’s Natsu.”  
“Dragneel?” Gildarts asked, and now it was Lucy who froze. She didn’t recall mentioning Natsu to her parents or to Cana before. She looked between her father and Natsu, but when she spotted that her boyfriend was as confused as she was, she looked back at her father, giving him a small nod in reply. At that point, she saw the man’s lips form a sad smile. “Of course. Name’s Gildarts Clive,” the older man introduced himself and extended a hand to the younger one. “I served with your father.”  
Lucy felt the air leave Natsu’s body in a long exhale, and feared maybe this was just a little too much for him, after their emotional conversation just a few minutes prior. She looked up at him in worry, but found her boyfriend smiling instead, his free hand reaching out to shake Gildarts’ in a firm handshake.  
“Pops talked about you,” Natsu said with a soft smile, and Lucy wanted nothing more than to be able to kiss the hint of sadness away from his face. “Thanks for keeping him out of trouble while you could,” he continued, which elicited a soft chuckle from himself and the older man. When Natsu let go of his hand, he looked at the woman by the man’s side. “You must be Mrs. Clive, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he greeted, shaking Lucy’s mother’s hand softly, before he turned to face the younger girl on the other side of Gildarts. “And I’m guessing you’re Cana. Thank for taking care of Lucy till I came along.”  
“Natsu!” Lucy blushed lightly and hid half her face against his chest, hitting him on the side with her free hand as she heard her sister laugh. “Shut it Cana,” she said as she turned her head to her sister, poking her tongue out before she, too, joined in on the laughter. The mood felt lighter after that, and the five of them talked for a while, discussing where life had led them and what they had been up to lately.  
The conversation flew easily between them, with Erza, Jellal, Gray, Juvia, Gajeel and Levy joining sometime later, and Lucy forgot to pay attention to the rest of the contest. The only point at which they tuned back in was when the results were announced, and despite not even making it to the top three, Lucy felt like the whole day had been worth it. She finally had everyone she loved around her, and her heart felt like it was finally in one piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Angst is done. (Is it? Hm...)  
> But if you're reading this - look, the first band is pretty straightforward, it's given themselves, because I'm a sucker for Fuyu No Hanashi and for them in general.  
> Second band mentioned is the Noragami peeps! I just picture Yato having the time of his life up on stage, ha!  
> And the last ones are the ones from re:zero; Emilia's singing, because I love that song. Was gonna have Rem doing it, but that one seemed better for a battle of the bands?


	7. Aerials

“Hey Luce?”  
The room was dark and quiet, only illuminated by the moonlight shining through the slightly cracked curtains over the window. Lucy lay, completely bare, against her boyfriend’s side, a small, content smile on her lips. It had been a few days since the battle of the bands, and the things between Lucy and Natsu seemed to have fallen once more into their normal pace. This was the second time this week that the man stayed over, this time with Lucy having cooked dinner for them both instead of allowing him to drag her out to eat with their friends. Natsu was looking at the ceiling, but Lucy couldn’t stop looking at his face.  
“Mmhm?” She replied in just as quiet a voice as he’d called out for her, one of her hands gently tapping a rhythm over his chest. She felt him copy the motions with the hand that was on her back, his fingertips pressing gently over her skin as he tried to match her rhythm.  
“How come your last name is Heartfilia, too?” He questioned, and Lucy could see the crinkles by the corners of his eyes as he scrunched up his nose, obviously trying to make sense of it. And he had a point, Lucy knew, because having been adopted into a different family definitely should’ve changed her last name.  
“I changed it,” the blonde replied, stopping her tapping motions as she looked down at her hand. “I mean, I am a Clive through and through, but I checked with my parents if they didn’t mind that I added the Heartfilia name to mine, and they were fine with it so I went ahead and changed it,” she explained in more detail. “After Anna... after she died, I felt terrible that the Heartfilia name would be forgotten in time because there was no one else to carry it, so I thought I could honor her if I did. So now I’m Lucy Heartfilia Clive.” She gave a slight pause, forcing a small smile upon her lips. “Maybe it was a stupid idea, but I felt like that’d be worth something.”  
“It wasn’t stupid,” the pink-haired man said, and Lucy felt the ghost of his lips over the top of her head. “I think Anna would’ve been happy. Not that she cared much about the Heartfilia family name, the only thing she cared about was that it connected her to you, but I think she would’ve liked knowing you kept her name.” Natsu sighed softly, and Lucy glanced up at him to see him frowning softly. “That’ll make a big messy name for you if we ever get married though,” he mused, and the blonde blushed brightly at his words; it was way too early for talks of marriage, but to think that Natsu was pondering about their future brought a warmth to Lucy’s chest. “I mean, how many names can one have?”  
Their conversation moved into the night filled with soft laughter and a combination of weird names that they imagined for their future, as well as their friends. It felt natural, to Lucy, to imagine so clearly a future with Natsu by her side; it was almost like she could see nothing without him, and that should scare her more than it actually did. She knew there was plenty to her even if Natsu and her parted ways, but, for the time being, she was most content with only seeing a future where he stayed with her.  
The next morning found the couple still entangled, their limbs overlapping as the sun began to rise in the sky. Lucy was the first to wake, her alarm bringing her out of her gentle slumber; she was quick to quiet the sound as to not bother Natsu just yet, knowing he needed the sleep. The blonde was soft as she lifted herself from the bed, stretching so her joints and muscles were ready to face another day. She headed towards the bathroom in order to shower, washing the sweat that had stuck to her skin and massaging her hair so it would retain its usual shine and softness. When she was done, she stepped back into the room, finding Natsu already awake, a lazy g  
“Well, good morning to me,” the man mumbled, his green eyes perusing the blonde, taking notice of how her short, pink towel could barely contain her figure underneath. “Not a bad way to wake up,” he continued, propping himself up on his elbows, his easy grin turning into a mischievous smirk as he continued to stare at Lucy. The woman felt herself flush under his gaze, biting her cheek on the inside. “C’mere Luce,” he purred, and Lucy was a goner.  
“You’re insatiable,” she commented, but was quick to comply. She moved in slow strides, purposely swaying her hips more than she usually did as she headed towards the side of the bed. When she was close enough, she released her hold on the towel and let it drop to the floor, and then moved even closer, knees on the mattress as she crawled over the man. “Good morning,” she said quietly before she felt Natsu’s hand on the back of her head, holding her hair tightly, but not enough to hurt, and moved with it as he pulled her into an open-mouthed kiss.  
They kissed hard for a few moments, tongues clashing and tasting despite the fact they’d just woken up, and Lucy felt his bulge under the soft covers of her bed as she settled herself on top of him, ready to give him anything he wanted. Sometimes, they went slow with it, caressing and worshipping each other, but other times, like this, Lucy let herself be controlled by whatever Natsu desired, a puppet in his hands as he whispered words that shouldn’t really excite her, but did anyway.  
Defeating the entire purpose of her previous shower, Lucy found herself covered in sweat and other bodily fluids by the time they were done, her breath ragged as she lay on her back, Natsu still kneeling in front of her, obviously completely spent. She took a few moments to collect herself before she smiled up at the man she loved, catching him watching her with a love struck expression she couldn’t help but blush at, despite how long they’d been together already, and the fact they’d already declared their love for each other.  
“I love you, Luce,” the man said, and Lucy felt the same warmth she usually did whenever he said those three words.  
Some people mused that declaring one’s love too much was a way to make it meaningless; that hearing the same three words over and over would only make them lose any sort of feelings, but Lucy had a different opinion. Having grown up in an affectionate family, she had always believed that one’s love should be expressed, as often and convenient as possible. She’d always told her friends how much she cared for them; she’d always told her family how much she was happy with them. She liked to constantly reassure those around her they were loved, and she was glad that Natsu seemed to share her opinion on the matter, as he often whispered those words to her out of nowhere.  
“As I love you, Natsu Dragneel,” she replied, forcing herself to sit up so she could give him a chaste kiss. “Even though you’ve totally ruined the point of me taking a shower before,” she joked, earning a laugh from the man that made her own chuckle bubble from her lips. “C’mon, shower with me so I can go to work.”  
After their shower, which had to be quick since Lucy had no intention of being late to work, the couple decided to have breakfast somewhere in town, ending up in the coffee shop just by Lucy’s work. They made small talk as they ate, Natsu mentioning how well their video was doing online and how positive the comments about Lucy joining for that song were, and Lucy felt a bubble of happiness float inside of her. She had thought it then, that maybe she wouldn’t mind joining the band full time if they asked, but hadn’t said a word; she had no intention to impose, or to try and fill her sister’s shoes.  
The two ended breakfast with a gentle kiss, a promise to see each other later, and another whisper of those three beautiful words Lucy couldn’t tire of. She had opening duties that day, so she got a few hours to herself inside the library, where she was able to occupy her time by organizing the new arrivals and even exchanging emails with Freed regarding some alterations to her work that he was questioning her about. Editing her manuscript wasn’t easy, as there were a lot of things to change, but Freed was taking it slow so she could understand the process and have time to take everything in and build upon it; she couldn’t believe her luck at having landed him as her editor.  
“Hm, excuse me?”  
Lucy had just finished sending another email to her editor when she heard the voice call out, soft and shy, and lifted her head with a smile to face the person calling to her. She recognized her from her minor stunt trying out for a band other than Natsu’s at the town square, and a blush filled her cheeks; she wondered if the woman, who was playing bass for that band if Lucy recalled correctly, remembered who she was.  
“Hello! How may I help you?” Lucy kept her voice friendly and polite despite her embarrassment, trying to not let on just how much she was agonizing over her stunt, how she’d left the band members hanging there after she’d sung for them.  
“I, uhm.” The woman was most definitely shy, her hand moving to fiddle with a strand of her short white hair as she looked down at the ground. “You’re Lucy, right? From the Fairies’ video?” She asked, and Lucy blinked twice, finding it odd how she was being recognized for that, and not her supposed audition. “My name’s Yukino,” she introduced herself, her hand moving to hold her other arm as she attempted a timid smile. “I’m a fan. But, uhm, I did come here with a purpose.”  
Lucy was still slightly surprised by the girl’s admission, couldn’t really fathom that there would be people who watched the video and became fans of her, but nodded at her to go on, in any case.  
“So, hm, we’re trying to do a video ourselves, as well,” Yukino started, and Lucy tilted her head ever so slightly. “By us, I mean Sabertooth. Our band, you know?” She was getting even more nervous, Lucy could tell, and tried her best to keep her expression open and kind, inviting the woman to continue with another nod. “So, uhm, we ended up staying the four of us from the festival. Minerva’s on vocals now, but we wanted to do a cover with two other singers.” Lucy could see where this was going, now, but allowed the woman to continue explaining. “Sting’s gotten a girl he works with to agree, but, uhm, I’d really like it if you could be the third singer.”  
Lucy let silence fall between the two as she considered her options. Her schedule was getting busier the more the editing of her book progressed, with it needed her attention more, but if she could make the compromise to not always watch her friends’ performances at the town square, she was sure she could squeeze in some time to practice and eventually record the actual cover. The fact that it was so easy for her to reorganize her life so she could participate let her know that she would always need music in her life; it seemed that something had ignited within her from the first time she sang with Natsu and the rest of the band.  
“Well, when do you need me? And how will it work?” She asked, instead of giving a direct answer.  
“We’re, uhm, still deciding on the arrangement, but if you could spare about an hour after work today, we can gather everyone and figure out something. It’s still kind of a loose idea, just something I thought up, really, but...”  
“Okay, sure,” Lucy interrupted the woman as she began to see her fidget to come up with a convincing argument, and was glad she did - the way Yukino’s eyes opened wide in surprise, and then her face melted into a large smile, was enough to let Lucy know she had made the right decision. “I get off at five, so maybe we can all meet somewhere close to here? I do have a date for dinner so I don’t have much time,” she continued, watching as Yukino nodded enthusiastically. “There’s this coffee shop close by we can go to.”  
“Sounds great!” Apparently rid of her previous shyness, Yukino clapped her hands together in glee as she continued to smile, before she bowed slightly. “Thank you! The guys thought this was a hopeless dream, I’m going to enjoy watching their faces when they realize I did it.” A chuckle fell from Yukino’s lips and Lucy felt herself chuckle as well. “Thank you so much, really!”  
“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s no big problem,” Lucy disregarded the thought that this was all a big, important deal - getting her to sing on a cover video shouldn’t really be considered that important. “I do need to get back to work now, but I’ll see you later, okay? I’m sure we’ll be able to make your dream a reality.”  
After Yukino said her goodbyes, and they agreed to meet at the coffee shop Lucy had suggested at fifteen past five, Lucy went back to work with yet another reason to smile. She had never imagined, despite having studied it, that music would become such a big part of her life - the reason why she was able to find herself again, and find friends and love. She had always thought that her life goal was to be a well-loved writer, but now she saw her vision of her future shift - of course, writing was still in her plans, but maybe a future with music in it wasn’t so out of reach. She was so engulfed in her thoughts of the future that she didn’t notice time pass by so quickly, even when Levy joined for her shift and the two worked in tandem, and before she realized her work day was over.  
Lucy sent a text to Natsu to let him know what had happened with Yukino that morning and where she was headed, and smiled at his simple reply of “you go babe! Love you” with about seven or eight hearts following. He was always like that, supportive of her and hoping for her best, and Lucy had never felt more willing to follow her dreams than when he told her she was capable of anything she put her mind to. She was still fidgeting with her phone when she reached the coffee shop, and a quick look around let her know she was the last to arrive.  
“Did I keep you waiting? I’m sorry!” She was quick to join the five people at the table, bowing in apology. She didn’t notice the boys’ wide eyes as they looked at her, at first, but as a small silence stretched on she straightened herself and blinked at how astonished the two looked. She turned to Yukino then, who was grinning as if she’d just won the lottery. “Uhm, Yukino? Did you not tell them I was coming?”  
“Nope!” The white-haired girl replied, before she giggled. “I wanted to see the look on their faces,” she admitted, and Lucy couldn’t help her blush even though she laughed quietly at how devious Yukino’s own laughter was. “Anyway. That’s Sting, our drummer,” she pointed at the blonde man, “and that’s Rogue, the guitarist” she continued, pointing that time at the black haired boy by his side. Yukino then pointed to the woman Lucy had seen singing for them at the festival. “This is Minerva, our vocalist.” At last, she pointed to the violet-haired woman to her left, whose expression appeared cold. “This is Kagura, Sting’s co-worker and lead singer of the female-only band, Mermaid Heel.”  
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” It was Minerva who reached her hand out first, and Lucy was quick to shake it as she smiled at the woman. Upon first inspection, she’d thought Minerva was a very simple woman, her hair pulled into two buns on each side of her head and an easy smile on her lips, and she was very beautiful; her voice was smooth, but lower than Lucy’s. As she continued to look at the woman, she couldn’t help but notice, however, that one of her eyes appeared to be slightly swollen, even though there was make up over it - Lucy could recognize that from her own attempts to hide her bruises from her parents, when she’d been bullied.  
“Likewise,” Lucy replied, fighting to keep her expression from changing into a concerned one; she barely knew the woman, she shouldn’t try to call out her poor attempt at hiding a bruise in front of what appeared to be her unknowing friends. Releasing her hold on Minerva’s hand, she turned to Kagura then, extending her hand and letting the woman give it a hard shake. Her stone-faced expression remained unchanged even as she acknowledged Lucy with a small nod before letting go of her hand.  
“Yukino!” She heard one of the two men say, and turned her eyes to them, seeing the blonde one, Sting, bent over the table to look at the woman he’d called. “I remember now! This is the girl that sang and ditched when we were having the auditions!”  
Eyes turning to her, Lucy blushed furiously at being called out, an awkward smile on her lips as her hand moved to play with her hair at the back of her head, a habit she’d picked up from Natsu.  
“Ah, yes, that was me wasn’t it?” She admitted, gulping as she took a seat. “I apologize, I had no intentions to join a band at the time, but kind of just lost my temper and that’s what happened,” she explained, hands coming together over her lap. “It was kind of a terrible thing for me to do, I’m so sorry.”  
“Hmph,” she heard a new voice, and looked at Kagura, who, despite still looking uninterested, decided to join the conversation anyway. “When I lose my temper I slash things with my sword, I don’t think singing in public counts as losing one’s temper,” she said, matter-of-factly, and Lucy blinked twice as the words processed in her brain. “Anyway, that’s not what we’re here for, right? I’m interested to know about this collaboration Sting told me about.”  
“Right,” this time, it was Rogue who spoke, and Lucy’s brown eyes moved to the black-haired boy, wondering, not for the first time, if the long bangs over his eye didn’t bother his vision. “Yukino came up with it, and we’re still working on the arrangement, but she thought that we could pull it off with you two helping,” he continued, looking at both Kagura and Lucy as he explained the song choice and how it would work.  
“That will be a bit of work, but I do believe we could do it,” Kagura mused after hearing the explanation. “I could definetely figure out the screaming parts, and I’m sure we can arrange the song for our three voices,” she continued, her eyes being the only thing that betrayed her stone-cold expression, twinkling with interest as she glanced at the singers around the table. “We also need to figure out who’ll play the violin you intend to add.”  
“I can do that,” Lucy interjected, earning surprised looks from around the table. “I can play, and I’m sure it won’t be a complicated melody to work on, anyway. I don’t have an electric violin I can use to record, but... I think I can figure something out, I have a friend who’ll let me use one if I ask nicely, I think. How much time do you figure we’ll have to practice before recording?”  
“I think, depending on how well everyone’s familiar with the song, a week or so should be enough?” Minerva suggested, and Lucy pursed her lips in consideration. “I mean, I’ve done a cover of it by myself in the past so I can just rearrange how I sang it to fit you two, and if we can decide today on who sings what, I’m sure it won’t be too difficult.”  
With everyone agreeing to Minerva’s suggestion, the five pulled up the lyrics on a tablet that Sting brought with him, using something akin to a pen to make annotations on the screen on who sang which part, and what they intended to do instrumentally. They took some time to revise the parts, but knew that it would only really be possible to figure out whether or not the song would work well with that arrangement when they had some of the parts laid down.  
Lucy felt excited to be a part of this project, and that they’d chosen her out of so many great singers out there, to be one of the voices in such an iconic song. She was familiar with the song, as everyone else around the table was, of course, and thought that their arrangement, albeit slightly different from the original, would be a great success. Of course, Lucy was also aware that there would be people displeased with the song, from being a change to an already great musical piece, but she was sure those would be few.  
Lucy was still bubbling with excitement once their meeting was over and each one of them headed their separate ways, her fingers itching to grab her violin to begin practicing. Still, before she could, she had to assure that she really would be able to record with the electric violin like she’d promised, so instead of going home she took a small detour to the only music store in town, the bell above the door ringing brightly as she walked in.  
“Gajeel?” She called out as she entered, her lips still forming a smile as she did. She saw the man fiddling with his display of drum kits, rearranging one of the drums, and walked over to him. “What’cha doing?”  
“What does it look like I’m doin’, Bunny Girl?” He grumbled a reply, but Lucy could hear the kindness masked in his words. She chuckled lightly at him, but the laughter was knocked out of her to be replaced with surprise as the man finished what he was doing and turned to give her a half-hug. All the time she’d known the man, they’d never shared more than a handshake, so the motion threw Lucy for a loop. “Glad to see ya alive and well,” he mumbled, before letting go, and Lucy realized the reason for the sudden affection.  
“I am, Gajeel. Thank you once again for your help,” she said, honestly. Despite the fact she hadn’t intended to call him when she had her panic attack, she was glad she had; he’d been more helpful than she could’ve hoped for, and he hadn’t rested until he was sure that Lucy was doing well again. The thought of it brought a wave of affection for the man to Lucy’s chest, and her excited smile melted slightly into a tender one. “I’ll never be able to repay you.”  
“Don’t be an idiot,” he immediately interrupted, patting her shoulder before he walked towards his front desk. “That’s what friends do, right?” His voice was still a grumble, but Lucy spotted the slight blush to the man’s cheeks and chuckled lightly.  
“Yeah, it is,” she acquiesced, and then walked after him. “Speaking of... I kind of need a favor.” She waited until Gajeel was looking at her, a curious glint in his eyes. “I kind of need to use that beautiful violin for a recording, if you still have it...” She began, biting her lip gently in nervousness before continuing. “I’ll pay, of course! I mean, I just need it for the recording really, and that’s only next week, but I thought maybe I should ask in advance, because if I can’t use it I’ll either have to find an alternative somewhere or just tell them I can’t do it and-“  
“Sure thing,” the black haired man interrupted, moving to sit at the chair behind his desk. “Just let me know when you need it and I’ll have it ready. I don’t know what kind of prices people charge for these things but let’s just say, like, twenty bucks covers it, okay?” Lucy watched as he grabbed a small notebook from a drawer and opened it to a new page, writing down what he was saying quickly. “And let's just set here that if you need it again, you can have it again for twenty bucks per day, okay?" He continued, before looking up at the blonde. "Natsu and the guys invited you to the band yet?" He asked, putting away his notebook as Lucy shook her head.  
"This isn't even something I'm doing with them," she explained, grinning widely. "There's this band, Sabertooth, and they want to do a video for their channel as well, asked if I'd be up for participating. For some reason they think I'm going to boost their views, as well as this girl Kagura," she said to the man, shrugging a shoulder with her smile unchanged. "I don't know how much help I'll be, but Yukino looked so happy that I was willing to participate, I couldn't say no even if I wanted."  
"Well, Natsu's an idiot for not having asked yet," Gajeel complained, but just then the bell above the door signaled a new person walking in, and the two friends looked to see who it was. "Speak of the devil," the man grumbled, and Lucy just smiled as she saw her pink-haired lover walk in their direction, his arms wrapping around her waist from behind as he reached them. "You here to buy something, or just to steal Bunny Girl away?"  
"Hi to you too, Gajeel," Natsu grumbled, before leaning down to kiss Lucy's cheek. "I'm here to pick up this one, we've got a date soon." Lucy smiled at the motion and turned her head ever so slightly to catch Natsu's lips in her own before she made her way out of his arms. "She should be getting ready but instead she's here chatting to you," the man chastised playfully, tickling Lucy's side and she laughed.  
"Well, in my defense, I was requesting Gajeel's help for that video project I told you about," she excused herself, grabbing his hand before he could tickle her further. "Let's go then, I need to know how dressed up I need to get." The woman waved at Gajeel as she led Natsu out of the shop, thw two then walking together towards her apartment so she could get dressed for their night out.  
Their date didn't end up being too far, just a short tip to a town nearby where the two enjoyed a quiet dinner and movie afterwards, but Lucy felt content, no matter how simple the date could seem, to be in Natsu's company. They ended up in her apartment afterwards, and once again the man spent the night, setting the standard for that week - every night, for the days that followed, the pink-haired guitarist ended up spending the night at Lucy's apartment, and the blonde found that she didn't really mind - she loved waking up next to him, loved being able to see his eyes flutter open and his lazy smile so early in the morning. It was a nice feeling, as well, when she got home after work and found him cooking for her, and to have him help her practice her singing for the video recording she was to do with Sabertooth, his helpful tips making her confident that she really would be adding something to the song.  
Spending their matching day off together was also a nice feeling, Lucy thought, as they were able to enjoy their bed until later than usual, and afterwards had been able to plan out an outing with their friends so that they could play around with their instruments, while Lucy exchanged emails with Freed about the editing of her book. Despite having Natsu around most of the time, her time was productive during that week, and she ended up able to do more editing and practicing than she figured she would, if the man was to distract her. Not that he hadn't, on more than one occasion, tried to distract the woman, but she'd always been able to bounce back into work right after.  
The week seemed to pass in a blur, amidst all that, and before she knew it Lucy was at the door to the studio she’d agreed to meet Sabertooth in, violin case in hand as she waited for the rest of the group. Natsu had wanted to come, but had to pull a last minute shift at the orphanage as one of the kids fell sick and they needed extra helping hands, so he hadn’t been able to. Lucy didn’t mind as much, he’d already helped her greatly, so she wanted him to see the final result only, along with their friends.   
“Lucy!” She heard her name be called and looked up from where she was admiring some small details on the violin case in her hand, and saw Yukino smiling at her, waving widely as she walked closer, with her band mates following behind her. “Kagura’s just around the corner,” the woman said as she got closer, and before Lucy could make sense of it she’d received a one-armed hug from her, brief as a greeting.  
Lucy didn’t mind, she was very affectionate herself, but couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at the easiness Yukino displayed. Squeezing Yukino’s arm gently, the blonde waved at Sting and Rogue, who she could see watching Yukino with mirroring confused expressions, and then at Minerva whose eyes were crossed over her chest and was looking away as if uninterested. Lucy studied the woman for a few seconds, noticing how heavy her make up was for the day and how it almost made her seem older, colder, but looked away before she said anything she was in no place to say.  
“I managed to get this beautiful thing for today,” Lucy mentioned, slightly lifting her hand to show the four people the violin case. “It’s an electric as well so I just need to plug it in and we’ll be good to go,” she explained, lowering her arm once more as a content smile was drawn to her lips. Before she could say further, she heard Kagura’s voice as she walked closer, and looked up to greet the woman.  
With all of them in place, they entered the recording studio with Yukino at the front with Sting, and Lucy couldn’t help but notice how close the man moved to the shorter girl, his hand brushing over her arm a few times as they walked together. A knowing smile was on Lucy’s lips then, but she kept quiet, simply clutching her violin case with both hands as her heart began palpitating, eager to touch the blue instrument once more, and hear the beautiful sound it made. Her own violin wasn’t bad, but it was a cheaper model, so the sound wasn’t as clean as the one she was holding.  
She followed the friends into a large recording studio, with a setup similar to the one where she’d recorded with Natsu, Erza, Jellal and Gray, before. She knew that, this time, they’d spend a lot longer inside, recording in parts instead of recording it as a live version like she’d done before, but she’d managed to free her day so she could spend as long as needed in studio. Finding a table to the side, Lucy placed down the violin case on it gently, and before she could stop herself, she opened it to admire the string instrument inside, fingertips softly pressing one of the strings.  
“Oh, wow,” she heard a voice from her left and lifted her head to see Rogue, his one visible eye wide as he looked down at the violin. “Didn’t expect it to look like that,” he said, and upon noticing Lucy looking at him, she saw a slight tint to his cheeks. “It’s nice,” he offered, before giving a small nod and leaving the woman alone to remove the violin from its case, along with the bow.  
“I can record the violin parts first, if you’d like,” Lucy said as she joined the other five. “While you finish setting up, I think I can get it done,” she continued, earning a nod from the blonde drummer, which was enough to get her going.  
The violin parts of the song were few, and fairly simple, but Lucy closed her eyes and let the music flow through her as she expertly played the parts she had prepared, her limbs moving gently to the sound she was producing from the strings, body swaying to the melody. She did the same parts a few times over to make sure she had it down correctly, and then nodded through the window at Rogue, who ended up controlling the recording, watching him count her down until she had to record her part.  
When the blonde was done, she felt lighter than she had earlier, her entire body relaxing from playing the violin. She had always felt a sense of freedom whenever she played the string instrument, even when she was younger and still learning; it always had made her feel like she was releasing any pent up emotions inside of her through the motions of her arm with the bow, and her precision with her fingers on the strings. She lowered the violin from her shoulder afterwards with a content sigh, and then walked out of the recording booth.  
“Oh, that was great,” she heard Sting comment and thanked the man on her way to put the violin back in its place. She had to wait until the rest of the instruments were recorded and put together before she could record her singing, so she found a comfortable place to sit and watch as Yukino went in to record next, and Rogue after. Sting was the last one to record, and when all three of them were done, the blonde man moved to the mixing table and put on the headphones placed there, using a computer to mix and match the backing tracks, which everyone had recorded at least twice.  
“I’ll record vocals first,” Lucy heard Minerva mumble her words, the first ones she’d spoken since they’d begun, and looked at the dark-haired woman, not for the first time that day, with a slight worry. Through everyone’s recording, she’d stolen some glanced at what appeared to be an uninterested singer, and that’s how she’d spotted the edge of a bandage on her wrist, under her long sleeved shirt despite the warm weather, and the make up rubbing off on her neck, revealing a slight color underneath.  
She wanted to ask Yukino or Kagura if they had seen it, not feeling comfortable with asking one of the boys, but each time she looked at them, they seemed like they hadn’t noticed, so she didn’t muster up the courage. She tried to pretend nothing was going on, smiling at everyone else and laughing at one joke or another, but when she saw Minerva flinch slightly as she got up, as if it hurt her in some way, she couldn’t hold back anymore.  
“Hey, uh, before you go, could you show me where the bathroom is?” Lucy was sure her request seemed weird, if Sting’s questioning look was anything to go by, but she couldn’t really say what she wanted to say; didn’t want to reveal a secret that wasn’t hers, after all. Mindful to hold the wrist she hadn’t seen a bandage on, Lucy grabbed her purse and pulled Minerva out of the studio as fast as she could, leading her down the corridor to where she knew the bathroom was.  
“What- what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Minerva’s voice was angry, Lucy could tell by her snarl, but didn’t dare stop until they’d reached the bathroom.  
“I...” Lucy took a deep breath as the two were in the bathroom, quickly checking that there was no one else there before she rummaged through her purse until she found her make up bag, finding the foundation inside and handing it to Minerva. “Your neck... the foundation’s wearing off,” she whispered, despite knowing they were alone, and watched Minerva’s expression flicker momentarily to fear. “I figured you wouldn’t want them finding out.”  
“You...” Lucy watched Minerva try to figure out the words she wanted to say, but there was only quiet as she snatched the bottle of foundation from Lucy’s hand, heading towards the mirror and using her mirror to spread some where it had already worn off, her eyes narrowed, both in concentration and anger. “Don’t say a word. Don’t presume to know what is going on. Don’t even give it a second thought. Just forget you saw anything.”  
“Minerva, I...”  
“I said forget it!” The dark-haired woman interrupted Lucy before she could continue, and Lucy couldn’t help but take a step back when she turned sharply; she looked ferocious, and it seemed that Lucy’s instinct of putting some distance between them only fueled her anger. “You’re no one, nothing,” the woman continued, and Lucy found herself pushed back harshly against one of the stall doors, a knob pressing painfully into her back; the worse pain, however, was Minerva’s forearm against her throat and her sharp, manicured nails digging strongly into Lucy’s upper arm. “Just shut it. Go in there, sing your part, and leave me the hell alone.”  
Lucy gasped as she was released, eyes slightly watered as she looked up at the other woman. It was almost as if she was being aggressive by instinct, as if it was the only way she knew to defend herself, even when there was nothing to defend herself from. Against her better judgement, Lucy made to grab the woman to try, in some way, to let her know she didn’t have to be alone, but ended up only being pushed back again, a strong being delivered to her stomach that made her bend slightly, before she felt her hair be pushed, forcing her head up before Minerva pushed her aside. Before Lucy could collect herself, feeling a hint of blood inside her mouth from where she hit her cheek against the wall, Minerva was gone.  
Lucy took a few minutes to get herself together. It had been many years since she’d felt pain like this - not since high school, when she’d been the victim of other girl’s menace simply because she dared to date someone they wanted. She’d gone through a lot of this kind of violence back then, too - personal belongings drowned in toilets, new bruises she had to hide if she didn’t want to worry her parents or Loke, and a hit to her mental state she was sure had only worsened her panic attacks. Back then, Cana had been the one to save her - once she’d found out, she’d rained hell upon all the girls who’d ever wronged Lucy, and that had been the end of it. This time, the blonde was sure that wouldn’t solve it. She had no idea what triggered Minerva to act like this but she was sure it wasn’t because she was interested in Natsu, and to solve it would be way more complicated.  
Still, she didn’t have time to think about it right now - she had to go back, and fulfill her promise to Yukino. Rising to her feet with a wince, she felt a sharp pain on her back and was sure she was bruised there, much to her dismay - she couldn’t reach it to cover it easily, and would have to find a believable lie for why she was hurt if she wanted to make sure Natsu didn’t worry. She also felt pain in her stomach and knew she’d be hurting for a while, as well as her cheek. She inspected her face in the mirror as she felt warmth from where she’d hit the wall, and hissed as she saw the bruise already forming; thankfully, Minerva had left the foundation bottle placed on the sink before she’d left.  
Sighing, Lucy decided to follow the other woman’s idea and apply a full face of makeup in order to be less suspicious about the cover up. Since they would be recording the video to put online, as well, she had an excuse as to why she’d gotten all dolled up. She winced and sighed in pain through the process, trying to take as little time as possible, and when she was finally done she was happy with the result - the bruise was well covered and the make up didn’t look too bad, in the end. Deciding that was enough, she collected her things and walked back to the studio, finding that Minerva was inside the recording booth.  
“Took you a while,” Kagura commented, and Lucy glanced at the woman. “I had time to record, and Minerva’s almost done. Did you take that long just to put on make up?”  
“Mmhm,” Lucy nodded slightly, doing her best to not show any signs of pain as she sat next to the woman. “Thought it best, since we’re doing the video next,” she explained, but before she could delve any further into this, she saw Minerva put down the headphones on the microphone in the booth, and got up again. “Well, guess it’s my turn.” She excused herself from Kagura’s side and went to replace Minerva inside the booth, doing some vocal warmups before she nodded at Sting and Rogue to let them know she was ready to record.  
It took a few different tries to get some of the parts right, but Lucy was patient through it all, hearing the men’s suggestions when they gave them, and doing some changes herself when she felt the recording wasn’t up to par to what she wanted it to be. After a while in the booth, however, they managed to get everything recorded, and she was curious to find Sting already working on the final mixing of the song; she learned from Rogue that the man had been doing that through all their recordings, so that they’d have the whole song and video done sooner rather than later. They had to wait a few minutes before the song was done, and then Sting played it back for them all to hear.  
Despite the dark turn her day had turned, Lucy still appreciated how well the song was put together, and the way her voice mingled so well with both Minerva’s and Kagura’s different voices, each of them adding their own element to the song. Sting, Yukino and Rogue, with the slight help of Lucy’s violin, had managed to bring together an incredible instrumental as well, and Lucy was sure, now more than ever, that the cover would be well received online. After their first listen was through, they moved to the video recording, each of them doing a run through of the song as the camera focused on them, and then they were done. Rogue, who was in charge of the editing, would be doing so from the comfort of his own home, so they all decided to leave.  
“Hey, Lucy, wanna join us for a drink later? We’ll be watching the video together once Rogue’s done,” Yukino asked, excited. Lucy wanted to say yes, wanted to see the fruits of their labor for the first time alongside the people who’d worked as hard as her to make sure it came out well, but one glance at Minerva was enough to deter her.  
“Sorry, Yukino, I’d already promised Natsu I was all his tonight,” she answered regretfully. “Send me the link once it’s up, though,” she requested with a bright smile, despite the fact the motion brought a sharp pain to her face. She could see Yukino’s slight disappointment at her refusal, but didn’t take back her words, instead choosing to part ways with the other five before she tried to convince her to stay any further. “Thank you for having me,” Lucy said at last, bowing slightly to the friends. “It was great to be a part of this. I’ll see you around!” She waved, before she turned around and left in quick steps, feeling her eyes begin to well up with tears as the pain in her cheek continued to get worse.  
By the time Lucy was home, the sting in her cheek was becoming too much and before she even took off her shoes, she made a beeline for the kitchen to get an ice cube inside a small towel and held it to her swelling skin. She let the tears stream down her cheeks by then, the pain flaring up from her back as well, and the embarrassment at what she had gone through worsening her emotions. She felt powerless and weak before Minerva, almost as if she’d been toyed with like she had in school, and wasn’t sure she would be able to face her, or any of the other members of Sabertooth, after that.  
“Luce?” She heard Natsu’s voice call from the front door, but before she had the chance to clean up or hide the ice she was still holding to her cheek, she saw him by the kitchen door. She could see his eyes narrow in instant worry, mixed with anger, as he spotted her crying by the fridge. “Luce...” He called again, his feet loud as he walked up to her in a hurry, his hand gentle as he lifted it to hers, pulling the ice away from her face softly; she was sure that the wetness of the towel had removed her make up, especially as she saw Natsu’s eyes widen. “What happened to you?”  
The blonde considered lying, making up a story about how she clumsily slipped on a wet spot and had hit her face somewhere, but as she looked at his concerned expression, she couldn’t. She told him about how she’d noticed Minerva hiding her own bruises, how she’d tried to help and had only been beaten for it. She cried through it, having to take several breaks to breathe deeply, but when she was done she was being held carefully in his arms, one of his hands pressing the ice to her cheek gently as his other held her close.  
“Minerva...” Lucy heard the anger coating Natsu’s voice, and trembled slightly in his arms. “I’ll deal with that later,” he grumbled, and Lucy sniffled slightly, wondering what he intended to do. “I’m gonna draw you a bath, Luce. You’re gonna show me where it hurts and we’ll see if I need to take you to have it looked at, okay?” He talked against her hair, his voice now nothing but a loving whisper. “Come on,” he urged her, gently tugging her towards the bathroom where he did just as he’d promised.  
Lucy spent a good while in the bath, Natsu not joining her but never leaving her side, his hand caressing her shoulder and hair as she relaxed her body in the warm water. She still felt some pain, but let Natsu put a bandaid where Minerva’s nails had broken some skin, on her arm, and then gently poke at the bruises forming on her back, stomach and cheek until he was sure they were to fade eventually and none posed a serious problem. He prepared her some food once she was done and got her some painkillers as well, and Lucy was very thankful her boyfriend was so doting; she wasn’t sure she’d have been able to do all of this on her own.  
They went to bed early that night, Natsu refusing to release Lucy from his body as they cuddled in bed, her smartphone between them as they watched a show they’d been curious about. They were about to change the episode when Lucy received a message from Yukino with a link to the video platform where Sabertooth had published their video. She sighed softly but opened the message anyway, allowing the link to open a different app on her phone so she could watch the result of that day’s turmoil.  
[The video began with a few blurry effect as the violin sounded on,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2ieONOQtfU) and then changed to a focus on Yukino playing the begging bass notes to the song, changing to a close up on Rogue and his guitar before it showed Sting preparing to play the drums. The instrumental beginning of the song showed images of all three of them, before the vocals came in and it showed Lucy, eyes glaring slightly into the camera.  
“ _Life is a waterfall, we’re one in the river and then one again after the fall,_ ” she sang, her head moving to the rhythm. The image then split, showing all four members of Sabertooth in four squares, Minerva’s voice singing the next line. “ _Swimming through the void, we hear the word. We lose ourselves, but we find it all?_ ” The dark haired woman looked grim, her dark eyes also staring into the camera. The image changed once again, this time showing the three singers, each one singing a different melody, harmonizing with each other, despite Kagura’s voice and video being louder and bigger. “ _‘Cause we are the ones that wanna play, always wanna go but you never wanna stay..._ ” The image was interrupted by a recording of Rogue screaming the words “ _go, stay_ ” lowly, and in repeat, before it showed all three singers again, this time their images side by side, split evenly across the screen. “ _And we are the ones that wanna choose, always want to play but we never wanna lose..._ ”  
There was a very short instrumental break then, where Yukino, Rogue and Sting shone in the video, before the image showed Minerva singing again, although Lucy’s higher back vocals were also heard. “ _Aerials,_ ” they sang in harmony, Minerva’s expression slightly softer than before. “ _In the sky... when you lose small mind, you free your life._ ” The softer portion of the chorus ended, and the song picked up traction again, showing a focus on Sting playing the drums before the screen split again into four, this time with Kagura singing instead of Minerva. “ _Life is a waterfall, we drink from the river, then we turn around and put up our walls,” she sang, before the image flickered to Lucy once more. “Swimming through the void, we hear the word. We lose ourselves, but we find it all?_ ”  
Once more the song moved into an harmony between the three singers, reflected in the video as it split evenly between their theee recordings. “ _And we are the ones that wanna play, always wanna go but we never wanna stay... And we are the ones that wanna choose, always wanna play, but we never wanna lose,_ ” they sang, but then the video focused on Lucy as she began their next part, a crescendo of an harmony that the two joined in by the last words. “ _Never wanna lose, yeah!_ ”  
The video then moved on to both Rogue and Kagura as they screamed the chorus this time. “ _Aerials in the sky! When you lose small mind you free your life!_ ” The song died down considerably, then, and the video showed Lucy begin to sing the chorus, the sides being filled in by the two other singers. “ _Aerials... in the sky... when you lose small mind, you free your life..._ ” The song crescendoed once more into its fullness, the melody Lucy and Minerva were singing being well accompanied by Kagura and Rogue’s screaming. “ _Aerials, so up high! When you free your eyes, eternal prize!_ ”  
“ _Aerials... in the sky... when you lose small mind, you free your life,_ ” sang Minerva, voice soft and crooning, before the video showed Lucy once more as she sang, just as gently. “ _Aerials... so up high... when you free your eyes, eternal prize..._ ”  
The song came to a close soon after that, the three voices harmonizing in a hum along with the instruments until everything went quiet. The video faded to black then, and Lucy remained still for a few moments. She wanted to be happy with how good it was, the way the video focused on everyone and each one of them had their shining moments, but she found she was just tired. Watching the video was a simple reminder of what had happened, and she ended up feeling her eyes well up once more.  
“That was really nice, Luce,” Natsu whispered, before locking her mobile device and putting it away, scooting down so he was eye level with her, voice quiet. “I’m sorry you had to go through what you did, though... If I’d known something like that could happen, I would’ve gone with you,” he whispered to her, leaning forward to gently place a kiss upon her lips. “It’s okay though, I’m here now and you’re not alone. We’ll fix this, and you’ll feel better in no time. I promise.”  
Lucy sighed softly at his promise, allowing it to carry her into a better place as she began to feel herself drift off to sleep when he began to caress her hair. She chose to believe him, then, hoping, as she felt sleep take her into an unknown darkness, that he was right, and they could fix whatever was going on with Minerva before something worse happened.


	8. Be the Light

The morning after Sabertooth's video was released, the entire side of Lucy's face felt like it was on fire, the pain starting at her cheekbone. She knew that it would look worse than it already had, but dreaded to get up from Natsu's arms in order to check, or to go take anything for the pain. She knew he was already awake, could feel it in the way his fingers moved gently through her hair, dismantling any knots she might've gotten as she slept, but didn't give any indication that she was awake as well, especially since she'd woken up before her alarm.  
"I know you're awake, Luce," the man whispered, his fingertips softly massaging her scalp. Lucy opened both her eyes slowly, finding that the sun was already rising outside, and traced a line over Natsu's chest. "Your cheek looks worse. Does it hurt?" There was obvious worry in the pink-haired's voice, and Lucy hated hearing how concerned he was, but nodded anyway. "We're going for breakfast somewhere and then I'm taking you to Porlyusica," he said, and as much as Lucy wanted to deny him of that, not wanting anyone else to see her like this, she had no strength to. "And you're calling off work today."  
"Natsu..." Finally responding, Lucy sighed softly. "I don't think I should call off work. I'll get whatever Porlyusica has to give me and put on some make up and go," she tried to reason, but as Natsu shook his head, she sighed once more. "Don't you have work today, too? What am I gonna do, litter around the house feeling sorry for myself all day?"  
"You're coming with me," the man replied, and Lucy looked up to see his cheeks slightly flushed. "The kids at the orphanage have asked about you, and I'd feel better if you were with me. I promise I'll let you go back to work tomorrow, if Porlyusica says you're good." Natsu pouted slightly, and Lucy couldn't help the loving expression on her face as she nodded slightly.  
"Fine. Let me up so I can call work to let them know I won't be able to go."  
With Natsu's arms gone from around her, Lucy carefully moved so that she was sitting on the side of the bed, assessing the damage that had been done to her. She could see darker coloring on her stomach area, and could feel the sharp pain on her back if she touched the spot where it had met the doorknob in that forsaken bathroom, and knew her face was swollen and blue right under her left eye. Sighing, she reached for her cell phone and called her boss, grateful that the woman was awake at such an early hour, and explained briefly that she'd been jumped and was a little worse for wear than she'd like and wouldn't be able to go to work, which her boss understood easily, giving her an extra day off to rest.  
Once the call was over, Natsu was already up as well, putting on a change of clothes he'd left at Lucy's house sometime during the previous week and that had been washed and folded into a drawer the blonde had made for the man. She watched him for a few moments, a warm feeling inside her chest at seeing how at home Natsu looked in her bedroom, in her home, and she hoped that feeling never went away. Before she could get lost in her musings, she got up and got dressed as well, about to go in the bathroom to put on some make up to cover up her bruised cheek when she was stopped.  
"No use covering it up if Porlyusica will just wipe it all off to look at it," Natsu mumbled, pulling Lucy to his chest as his hand lifted to hover above the bruise carefully, a frown on his face as he looked it over. "If anyone asks, you can choose to lie if you want, I'll back you up," he continued, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. "You can cover it up before we head to Fairy Tail, otherwise the kids won't leave you alone all day."  
Lucy sighed softly but gave a nod anyway, knowing that Natsu was right. She'd only have double the work if she had to cover it up now, only to have to do it again once Porlyusica was done. Grabbing her purse, making sure her make up bag was still inside, the blonde followed Natsu out of her house, letting him guide her through town with his arm around her shoulders until they arrived at their destination. Lucy had never been to this particular bakery, though she'd passed by it a few times, but as the two walked in she regretted it - the smell was heavenly, and she felt her mouth water.  
"Morning, Natsu," she heard a male voice and stopped dead in her tracks, glancing at her boyfriend before she found the source of the voice. Rogue was standing behind the counter, dressed in a black apron that matched his hair, which he'd pulled into a ponytail. "Oh, hi Lucy," he greeted her as well, a smile on his lips that quickly transformed into surprise when he spotted her bruised cheek. Before he could say anything else, the door to the back swung open and Lucy saw Sting walk out with a tray full of fresh, warm baked goods.  
"Coming through!" The blonde man said with a grin, finding an empty part of the counter to place the tray before he spotted the couple and turned his grin on them. "Oh, good morning!" He greeted the two, but then he saw the bruising on the woman's cheek and his eyes narrowed, his aura changing completely. "Lucy. What happened to your cheek?"  
"I, uh..." Lucy, suddenly thrown into the spotlight, froze. Sting had just seen her the day before, so she couldn't really say it had happened a while ago to throw him off of what could've happened, so she had to come up with a better excuse. She felt both Sting and Rogue's eyes on her, urging an explanation out of her, but she glanced at Natsu, who squeezed the arm on her shoulder softly, giving her some strength. "I tripped up the stairs to my apartment when I went home yesterday," she said, hoping that the lie was believable enough, although she had a feeling it wasn't as she saw the two brothers look from her to Natsu.  
"Natsu," Sting said, and his tone was so low and angry even Lucy trembled, "did you put your hands on Lucy?"  
There was a moment of silence as Lucy realized just exactly what Sting was asking, and then all hell broke loose. Before she could stop it, Sting was moving from behind the counter and heading towards them, and Natsu was pushing her away carefully so he could take the man on. Lucy watched, in horror, as Sting grabbed at the lapels of her boyfriend's shirt and tried to step forward to help, but Rogue's hand was on her arm, pulling her back. She hissed in pain as he grabbed just where Minerva had dug into her skin, and her eyes watered as she saw Sting and Natsu begin to fight.  
"What the- Sting! What the hell are you doing?"  
Lucy looked as another person came from the back, and she realized it was Kagura, with another woman behind her. She saw Kagura head towards the fighting men to try and break the fight, and wished she wasn't hurting so she could help her. She watched her break the two men apart, both breathing heavily and a bit ruffled, but not appearing seriously hurt.  
"He hurt Lucy!" Sting tried to justify, and Lucy saw Kagura look at her for the first time that morning, eyes widening slightly as she took in her bruised cheek. She wished she hadn't listened to Natsu's reasoning and had actually covered up the dark spot under her left eye, as it would have avoided this whole fight, but it was too late now.  
"No, he didn't." Lucy glanced to see the woman who'd followed Kagura into the front of the bakery step forward and froze as she realized it was Minerva. Her heavy make up was gone, and her demeanor appeared calm, albeit guilty. "It was me," she admitted, and all eyes turned to Minerva except Natsu's, who stepped away from Sting and Kagura to go to Lucy's side, pulling her gently to him, his body between hers and Minerva's, protective. "We had a fight in the bathroom yesterday," she continued her explanation, and Lucy felt herself trembling. "About the song. I told her she was stealing my spotlight, she tried to make me see sense and I lost it."  
Silence fell upon the bakery then, the people inside glancing at each other as they tried to make sense of what they'd heard. Natsu and Lucy weren't surprised that Minerva hadn't admitted the whole truth, but had chosen just to alter the reason why she'd ended up hitting Lucy; still, they were surprised that she had admitted to her wrong-doing, at all. It didn't seem like a plausible thing to hope for, considering what Lucy had gone through. Kagura, Sting and Rogue seemed to believe Minerva, however, as they glanced from her to Lucy, and then to Natsu.  
"Gods, I'm sorry," Sting said, regretful, as he looked at the pink-haired man. "I assumed the worts, I'm really sorry."  
"It's fine, I'd do the same," Natsu replied, turning slightly to offer the blonde man a small smile. "At least I know that someone'd protect Lucy if anything were to happen to me," he continued, and Lucy felt herself blush as he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Anyway, we're in a bit of a hurry, we have to go see Porlyusica soon so she can check out Lucy's bruises, so can we get something to eat quick?"  
"Bruises? As in plural?" This time, it was Kagura who spoke, and Lucy sighed softly, moving from her place, almost behind Natsu, to nod at the woman. "Oh. Well. For Sting's trouble, we'll get you something to eat for free," she said with an uncharacteristic gentleness that Lucy had never heard her use before. "About Minerva, well... that's not something I can handle."  
"I'm sorry, Lucy," Minerva said then, and Lucy looked to see her apologetic expression. Although she looked genuine, there was a glint in her eye that told Lucy she better not say anything about the real reason why they'd ended up fighting. The blonde gave a small, acknowledging nod, and then watched as Minerva retreated into the back, once again, no other words exchanged between them.  
"C'mon Luce, let's sit down and eat so we can go," Natsu's voice was gentle, but Lucy heard the anger simmering underneath. She knew that, had she let him, he would've tried to settle the score with Minerva then and there, or at least try to bring some reason into why she'd gone so violent on the blonde; as it was, however, Lucy just followed him to a table nearby and held his hand, squeezing it softly. "I love you, Luce," he whispered as they sat, and the woman smiled.  
"I love you too, Natsu," she whispered back, leaning forward to gently place a kiss on his lips. "Thank you," she spoke softly against his lips, a small smile gracing her own as she pulled back from the man, her hand squeezing his once again. "What time do you have to be at Fairy Tail? Is it very different from what it was? I don't remember a lot, actually, so even if it isn't I might need a tour around the place."  
"Don't worry, I'm sure gramps will be more than glad to show you around. Or maybe one of the kids, they're all excited to meet you." Natsu smiled as he thought, and Lucy was glad to see the happy look on his face. He always looked the best when he was smiling. "I hope you're ready to deal with a few teenagers because there's some of them around," he chuckled, and Lucy couldn't help but chuckle as well. "They're well-behaved though. Mostly. I might not be the best influence around."  
"I'm sure they're fine," Lucy commented with a grin, pulling her hand back from Natsu's once Rogue came to their table to place down warm croissants with butter on the side, and two cups of coffee as well as a small jug of milk. "Thanks, Rogue." Lucy smiled up at the man, and then her eyes widened slightly. "By the way, the video was great! The editing was amazing," she complimented, watching the black-haired man's face becoming a tint of red. "I'm sure it's going to be great for your channel, and will bring you a lot more viewers."  
"Thanks to you," the man replied, his face still flushed, but he gave a small smile anyway. "Enjoy your food," he said at last, before leaving Natsu and Lucy alone once again, to eat in between small conversation.  
When they were done, Lucy left a bill on the table enough to cover the meal they'd had, despite the fact Kagura had offered them. She didn't want to take her up on the offer just because of a misunderstanding, or due to pity; if she'd offered them breakfast simply because she was being kind enough to, Lucy would've been happy to accept. As it stood, she left the bill on the table and left with Natsu before Rogue could give them back the money. If they really didn't want to charge them for breakfast, then they could put the money in their charity box, in the end.  
After breakfast, Natsu and Lucy walked together towards Fairy Tail, Porlyusica's house being right next to the building. They stopped at the woman's house first, Natsu's knock loud and heavy against the wooden door. Lucy hadn't thought to question whether the doctor would be up so early in the morning, but she didn't need to worry - not even thirty seconds after the knock, Porlyusica was at the door, a grimace on her lips.  
"Dragneel, what in the world are you-- what the hell happened to your face, Heartfilia?" There was frustration mixed with worry in the pink-haired woman's voice, and she ushered the couple inside, already reaching for Lucy's face to gently tilt it so she could look at her bruised cheek better. "This doesn't look good, miss. Did you get in a fight?"  
"You could say so," Lucy mumbled, feeling herself remember the few times, when she was smaller and more innocent, when Porlyusica would put bandaids on her scratches from playing around too fast and tripping over her own two feet. "I made someone angry at me yesterday, and it didn't go too well," she explained, eyes closing of their own accord as she felt the woman take a better look at her wound. "There's some bruising over my ribs too, and my back. There were some scratches on my arm but Natsu cleaned and covered that pretty well."  
"I should hope so, I've taught him enough. Did you put any ice on your bruises?"  
"Only on her face," Natsu replied for Lucy, and the blonde opened her eyes to see him looking at her worriedly, arms crossed over his chest. "Her back isn't looking good either, but I think some of that cold cream you have should be able to help better. Her ribs don't seem too bad," he continued, noticing Lucy looking at him and offering her a small smile. "She's a strong girl and hasn't been complaining a lot, but I'm sure some painkillers are needed as well."  
"Very well. You wait here, I'm going to go check out her back and ribs and see what we can do," Porlyusica said, the authority in her voice stopping Natsu from complaining about having to wait. "Don't destroy everything while we're gone, otherwise I'm never letting you back into this house," she warned, and Lucy chuckled lightly at the way Natsu straightened in terror, almost as if he'd been reminded of a terrible punishment he'd suffered in the past.  
Lucy followed the pink-haired older woman to a room in the back, where she disposed of her shirt. She let Porlyusica examine her, and heard her advice regarding her bruises carefully, nodding to make sure the woman knew she was listening. It had been a very long time since she'd been healed by her, but the feeling was the same - as if Lucy was a tiny thing, waiting for Porlyusica's magical lotions and soft hands to heal her of any ailment. She knew that it didn't work like that, but the older woman carried herself with such other-worldly poise that Lucy couldn't help the thoughts from resurfacing.  
Once the two were finished, bandages gently wrapped around her torso to cover both bruises she carried on her skin, and a rather large gauze on her face to cover the one wound there, Lucy put her shirt back on carefully and followed Porlyusica back to the living room, where Natsu was waiting, sitting on the couch and typing away on his smartphone. He looked up immediately as he heard the two return, frowning as he saw the way Lucy's face had been covered.  
"Well, the kids are gonna ask you about that all day," he mentioned, standing up to walk closer to the blonde, his hand reaching out to caress the side of her face that wasn't hurting. "Speaking of, we need to go. Erza's already texting me, if I get there any later she's gonna have my head on a spike."  
Lucy chuckled at ntly,Natsu's words but nodded against his hand anyway, looking back at the doctor with a grateful smile.  
“Thank you, Mrs. Porlyusica,” the blonde said gently, the smile still on her lips. “I’ll try to keep myself out of further trouble, I promise."  
"Don't make any promises you can't keep, Miss Heartfilia," the older woman chastised, but Lucy could hear the underlying kindness in her tone. "Dragneel, take good care of this one, will you? I'd hate to lose her once more," she continued, and Lucy felt a squeeze inside her chest at the words. She hadn't realized she'd been so missed by the pink-haired woman, but figured it made sense, since Anna hadn't stopped talking about her since she'd been adopted.  
"I promise I will. And that's a promise I can keep," the male interjected before Porlyusica could repeat the words she'd said to Lucy, and once more the blonde felt a pang in her chest, this time followed by a loving warmth she relished in. "Now we really need to go, sorry! We'll see you at lunch!"  
Before she could even say goodbye, Lucy was being gently dragged outside and across the way to the building she hadn't been to in so long. It reminded her of looking up at it for the first time, how big and scary it had looked despite the friendly font used to write its name above the entrance, and how colorful it was. Now, it didn't seem as big and scary; instead, Lucy felt like she was finally coming home after a long trip as she walked inside, the big room that greeted her reminding her of when she was little and ran amid the tables, chasing after her sister as they played tag.  
Lucy felt a surge of emotion within her as she looked at the different kids inside, many of the younger ones speaking in loud voices as they played around. There were tables all over the room, the same ones from back when Lucy had become a part of Fairy Tail, and she could see the counter that separated this room from the kitchen with some of the older kids sitting by it, either studying or chatting idly amongst themselves. She could see Makarov sitting on said counter and chuckled - he used to do that all the time when she was younger, too. Behind him, she saw a woman she didn't recognize talking to one of the older kids, and figured she was another of the workers there.  
"C'mon Luce," Natsu tugged at her hand, breaking her out of her reverie, "we need to go check with Makarov where we're needed today," the man said, and Lucy looked up to see him smiling kindly. He must've realized she was lost within her own head, chasing memories she'd long forgotten about, and gave her some time to dwell on her own thoughts before he moved his arm until it was over her shoulders and guided her towards where Makarov was sitting.  
"Hey, gram-"  
"You're late!" Makarov's voice was obviously exhasperated, the old man interrupting Natsu before he could finish. Lucy saw him open his mouth to start lecturing her boyfriend, but then his eyes landed on her and he stopped. "Lucy!" He greeted her, his moustache shaping the frown on his lips. "What happened to you?"  
"Ah, gramps, long story, I'll explain later. We were just at Porlyusica's to have her checked, and we're ready to help today. Where do you need us?" Natsu spared Lucy from having to explain herself again, and for that the blonde couldn't be more grateful. She was still unsure about whether or not she should say what had happened between her and Minerva to anyone else, as she really didn't want to get the woman in any further trouble.  
"You're in the music room today," the white-haired woman behind Makarov said, and Lucy looked at her close-up, for the first time. She was beautiful, her eyes wide and kind as she smiled at the two of them. Some of her hair was pulled into a small ponytail atop of her head, the rest flowing straight down her back, and she moved with a grace Lucy could only dream of obtaining, one day. "Until lunch, that is. After that we need you to keep an eye on the kids here," the woman continued, and Lucy felt Natsu nod beside her. "Oh! I'm Mirajane, by the way. It's a pleasure to meet you, Lucy."  
“You too,” Lucy replied automatically, extending her hand so she could shake the other woman’s. Once they were done, Lucy turned her face to Natsu, her brown eyes finding him looking at her with a gentle smile. “What?” She asked, but the pink-haired man just shook his head. “Weirdo,” she mumbled, chuckling lightly, before looking back at Makarov. “Is it alright if I spend the day here? I’ll help Natsu, I promise, and if I’m scaring the kids with the bandages I’ll go wait somewhere else...”  
“Don’t be an idiot.” Lucy turned her head to her right, finding Erza there, arms crossed over her chest and a thunderous expression on her face. “You’re not going anywhere without me or Natsu,” she continued, and then stormed her way over to the blonde, face leaning dangerously close as she inspected Lucy’s face. “Porlyusica did a good job, as usual,” she grumbled, her angry expression turning into one of worry as she sighed. “Lucy... You could’ve called me if something happened, I’d be there to help.”  
“I didn’t-“ Lucy wasn’t sure what she was about to say, but ended up sighing anyway, lifting a hand to place on Erza’s tense shoulder. “I appreciate it, Erza, but this isn’t something I’m not used to. Took quite a few beatings because of who I was dating, back in middle school,” she said, trying to ease the other woman. As she watched her eyes narrow, she realized she had only succeeded in upsetting her more. “But it’s okay! Cana beat them all up once she found out in high school. It was a little frightening to watch her.”  
“Luce...”  
Looking back at Natsu, Lucy realized that his eyes were on her, wide with anger and concern. She realized she’d never told him about how she’d been bullied through most of her school years, and remembered she’d purposely kept that information from Anna as well, in order to lessen the pain she knew the woman had felt at not being able to be with Lucy through her formative years. The orphanage where they’d been separated was probably not the best place to discuss all of that, she thought, a little too late.  
“Well, that’s enough of that,” the blonde tried to break the tension before it got heavier than it already was, her hand falling back from Erza’s shoulder and into her own hip as she looked up at her boyfriend. “Don’t we have some kids to look after in a certain music room? I think that’s enough stalling, no?”  
“Oh shi- shoot,” Natsu corrected himself before he cursed loudly enough for the kids playing around the room to hear, and nodded down at the blonde. “We do. We’ll talk about this later, though,” he warned, his tone serious for a second, before he moved his hand to the one on her hip and tugged her gently towards the staircase off to the side of the big counter where Makarov was still sitting. “Well, we’re supposed to let the kids play around with the instruments in the music room and help them out if need be, shouldn’t be too difficult. There’s a drum set that Erza looks after, a guitar and a piano. I figure you’ll handle the piano just fine?”  
Lucy walked alongside the pink-haired man as he spoke, her eyes darting around as she tried to take in everything around her. The wood and stone mixed in the walls felt familiar, but she was sure that when she first came to Fairy Tail, there hadn’t been a music room, or at least she’d never been taken to it. Still, she smiled as they walked in, feeling comfortable as she looked around at the few kids littering around the room, two girls sitting on the bench behind the piano but not touching the instrument. She looked around to find a young boy tugging at the strings of an acoustic guitar, and saw there was another older boy already behind the drums, gently tapping away on the snare lowly.  
“Yo, everyone!” Natsu’s words rang out loud, both as a greeting but also a call for attention to his arrival. Lucy couldn’t help the smile as she noticed the kids’ faces light up as they turned to look at the man, the purple-haired boy on the guitar grinning the widest. “Sorry I’m late, I brought a guest but she’s a little clumsy,” the male continued, a chuckle falling from his lips, but Lucy could tell he’d only laughed for the kids’ benefit, and for Lucy’s - so that they wouldn’t pester her about what had happened to her face, she guessed. “This is Lucy. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble welcoming her here.”  
“She looks like Anna.”  
Lucy’s world froze for a moment in time, and her eyes moved to the boy behind the drums, his green eyes narrowed as he stared at her. She noticed that everyone went silent as the words sunk in, and took a quick look around the room to see the other see orphans look down, as if they didn’t want to face her. She could understand them, she’d had trouble looking in the mirror because of how much she resembled Anna, too.  
“Anna was my older sister,” she forced her voice to remain calm, although she could feel her hand tremble slightly. When Natsu squeezed it, however, she found some strength to continue, seeing the curious looks from the younger children. “We came here together when we were little, but then some things happened and we went to different families. She came back here, but I never did,” she explained, as succinctly as possible, forcing a small smile upon her lips. “We reunited last year,” she said, but she couldn’t hold her smile in place any longer, so she looked up at the ceiling to hide her expression, although she was sure they could hear the tremble in her voice. “We spent a good few months making up for lost years, and now I’m living in Magnolia again.”  
“I think that’s enough chit-chat for today.” Lucy turned her head just slightly to see Erza walk into the room, heading straight to where the green-eyed boy who’d mentioned Anna was sitting. “I was under the impression you all needed someone to teach you the piano and sing with you, Lucy’s wonderful at both,” the red-haired woman continued, and Lucy lifted her free hand to her face to swipe at the tears that pooled in the corner of her eyes before she looked down once again, her smile back in place. “In fact, why don’t you kids give us a chance to show you what we can do? Give me some room, Mest.”  
Lucy watched as the boy behind the drums moved away then, obviously having learned that not obeying Erza could have dire consequences, and saw him walk to a chair that faced the instruments, instead. She felt another squeeze to her hand and glanced at Natsu, whose eyes were full to the brim with worry, and smiled at the man, choosing to lean up and steal a quick peck from his lips to let him know she was fine, before he released his hold and moved to get the guitar from the smaller boy, who held it out gleefully as he rushed to sit beside Mest. Lucy realized she was to use the piano and walked gently towards the two girls, but before she could say a word they were already jumping out of the bench, offering her a kind smile before one moved to join the boys, the other leaving the room.  
“I think Be the Light would work, and you’ve already practiced it with us, Luce,” Natsu said to both women, and Lucy saw Erza nod before she did the same. “I’ll count us in, okay?” Once again, both women nodded, and Lucy tested out a few keys of the piano, finding that it was tuned perfectly; she wondered, for a moment, if the two teenagers who’d been sat by it had been taking care of it.  
Before Natsu could count them in, Lucy saw the pink-haired teenage girl return, followed by a string of other kids, both older and younger, as well as Mirajane and Makarov, all of them filling the small room. She smiled at the small audience that gathered, took a deep breath with her eyes closed as she faced the ceiling, and then listened closely as Natsu counted them in, strumming his guitar as Lucy began to sing.  
“ _Just the thought of another day... How’d we end up this way? What did we do wrong, God?_ ” She sang gently, dragging out the last word for a few tired seconds, before her hands began moving on the piano keys, playing a simply symphony as Natsu began strumming the guitar repeatedly, ringing out the beautiful chords to match Lucy’s piano, and Erza accompanied them with a simple drumming rhythm. “ _Even though the days go on, so far, so far away from, it seems so close..._ ” Natsu sang that line with Lucy, her hands still moving gently through the keys before she took over, singing by herself once again.  
“ _Always weighing on my shoulder, that time like no other... It all changed on that day, sadness and so much pain..._ ” Lucy turned her face ever so slightly to glance at the crowd of children gathered to hear them, for just a second, before she looked ahead once more, singing with emotion. “ _You can touch the sorrow here. I don’t know what to blame! I just watch, and watch again, oh..._ ” This time, she let Natsu sing by himself the same lines they’d sang together before, choosing to focus on the piano for the two times he sang the same words, before she took a deep breath to sing once more.  
“ _What did it leave behind? What did it take from us and wash away? It may be long, but with our hearts start anew, and keep it up and not give up with our heads held high..._ ” Lucy pulled a smile from her lips then, the next words stronger as she willed them to break through to the kids’ hearts. She knew their life hadn’t been easy, and although Fairy Tail was one of the best and most caring orphanages in all of Fiore, she knew that for them to be there, they had to have known pain. She could only wish this song would be able to encourage them to keep their eyes set on the future, instead of glued to their painful past.  
“ _You have seen hell and made it back again! How to forget? We can’t forget the lives that were lost along the way..._ ” She sang the chorus with her eyes closed for the first part, her heart giving a painful thud as she thought about her own loss, about the hell she’d faced herself. She opened her eyes, though, and made sure to look at the crowd watching her, offering them all an encouraging smile. “ _And then you realize that wherever you go, there you are. Time won’t stop, so we keep moving on..._ ” She looked away from them again, smile still on her lips as she closed her eyes once again. “ _Yesterday’s night turns to light... Tomorrow’s night returns to light... oh, be the light..._ ”  
There was a pause in the vocals, and Lucy smiled smiled down at the keys as she continued to play the piano. During the times she’d played this song with the rest of the band, Gray would have taken over the main melody Lucy played on the piano with his electric guitar, and she would be playing a simpler one, but now she was playing both, balancing the two as well as she could. She glanced back at Natsu, grinning down at the purple-haired boy who still watched him as if he only cared about him, and then at Erza, who she found was looking at her with an encouraging smile. As the song died again, Lucy stopped playing the piano, looking at Natsu as he took over with his guitar, once again, accompanied by Erza’s soft drumming.  
“ _Always weighing on my shoulders, a time like no other... It all changed on that day, sadness and so much pain..._ ” Lucy looked at the crowd again, using the time she didn’t need to play the piano to glance at the different faces, the different expressions; she finally settled on the boy Erza had called Mest, whose face was stone-like as he stared back at her, almost in defiance. “ _Anyone can close their eyes, pretend that nothing is wrong! Open your eyes and look for light, oh..._ ” She saw the boy look away, then, and moved on as well, finding the two girls who’d been on the piano before her watching her with a enraptured expression.  
“ _What did it leave behind? What did it take from us and wash away? It may be long, but with our hearts start anew and keep it up, and not give up with our heads held high... Yeah, yeah!_ ” Lucy’s fingers moved through the piano keys again as the band moved into the chorus once again, Natsu’s voice harmonizing with hers this time around. “ _You have seen hell and made it back again, how to forget? We can’t forget the lives that were lost along the way... And then you realize that wherever you go, there you are. Time won’t stop so we keep moving on..._ ” Natsu’s voice stopped then, and Lucy was singing by herself once more. “ _Yesterday’s night turns to light! Tomorrow’s night returns to the light! Oh, be the light..._ ”  
There was a small break then, Natsu and Erza filling the space for a few beats until Lucy joined once more with the piano, her voice following closely.  
“Some days just pass by... and some days are unforgettable,” she spoke the words with care, and although they weren’t hers, she felt every single one of them. “We can’t choose the reason why. But we can choose what to do from the day after. So with that hope, with that determination, let’s make tomorrow a brighter, and better day,” she finished her small speech with a smile, hearing Natsu join her as they harmonized together for the last portion of the song, vocalizing like they’d rehearsed before. “ _Oh, yeah... O-oh... And yeah... And yeah... O-oh!_ ” Lucy held out her high note until Natsu stopped the sound of his guitar, playing three notes on the piano before he joined with a strum, and then once again they repeated the motion before the song was over.  
There was a lull in the room as the piano sounded out its last note, but as soon as it was done the children erupted into cheers, the smaller ones trying to come closer to the three friends in awe. Lucy watched with a warmth in her chest as Natsu scooped as many little kids as he could into his arms and lap, after putting his guitar away, and grinned at their enthusiasm. She had a feeling of happiness within her that she was sure she shouldn’t be feeling so early on, the thought of Natsu doing that to their own hypothetical children sneaking into her brain.  
“You’re thinking something weird,” she heard a voice to her left and looked to find the boy who’d been at the drums earlier stand there, arms crossed over his chest much like Erza’s usually were. Lucy figured this boy had learned a lot from the red-haired woman, besides how to play the drums. “Anyway. That was okay. I guess it wouldn’t be bad to have you around sometimes,” he continued, expression impassive as he looked away from Lucy. “I’m sorry about earlier.”  
“Oh!” Lucy couldn’t help the beaming smile on her lips as she faced the boy, glad that the song had gotten through to him, like she’d hoped. “I’m glad to hear that,” she said genuinely, toning down her expression into a softer one when she noticed the boy glare at her sideways. “You don’t have to apologize, though. You were only pointing out the obvious,” she eased him, holding out a hand for him to shake. “In any case, let’s start again. My name’s Lucy. What’s your name?”  
Lucy watched the boy glance at her in confusion, looking down at her held out hand before he hesitantly reached out to shake it.  
“Mest,” he said, his introduction short as he withdrew his hand from Lucy’s.  
“Well, Mest, it’s lovely to meet you. I’m not good with drums, so I’m not sure I’ll be of much help to you, but if you ever want to venture into the world of piano, I’ll be happy to help!”  
“Yo Luce,” Natsu called out and Lucy tilted herself gently to look past Mest towards her boyfriend, chuckling as she noticed a small kid tugging on the ends of his growing hair. “You should go talk to Wendy, her sister Sherria’s been learning the piano, but Wendy’s always been more into violin. They’re the two girls who were on the piano when we got here.”  
“Thanks, Natsu,” the blonde replied, noticing that Mest had gone over to Erza in the meantime. Looking around, she spotted the heads of the two girls Natsu had mentioned, and carefully moved herself away from the piano and walked over to them. “I’m guessing you’re Wendy and Sherria, right?” She said as a greeting, a kind smile on her lips as she watched the two girls look up, their movements synchronized; Lucy wondered if they were twins.  
“I’m Sherria,” the pink haired teenager said, before pointing at the the blue-haired one. “This is Wendy. We’re twin sisters despite the hair color,” she said, and Lucy figured she hadn’t been the first to wonder about that. “That was a nice performance. You sounded really good on the piano.”  
“Thank you,” Lucy spotted an open spot on the floor and carefully lowered herself to sit on it, her legs crossed in front of her. “Piano’s not really my strongest instrument, though. I can play, but not those more complicated pieces. I can still help you out, of course,” she commented, before glancing at Wendy. “I’m more of a violin girl, it’s my favorite to play,” she said, and watched as Wendy looked up at her, something akin to hope and wonder shining in her eyes. “Natsu told me you were interested in that. Would you like me to bring my violin sometime? I don’t know if I can teach you much, but I can get you in contact with my teacher and play with you sometimes.”  
“Oh, that... that wouldn’t be necessary, that’d be too much work for you,” the blue haired girl said with a blush, and Lucy watched her twin sister roll her eyes. “I mean... maybe just bring it once? I haven’t actually touched one or seen one up close, I’ve only ever heard it through songs and videos, but if you wouldn’t mind...”  
“Not at all,” Lucy acquiesced, a smile on her lips. “And I don’t mind helping you out either. My teacher, Aquarius, is not from here but I’m sure we could figure something out. She was a bit hard on me sometimes but it really helped me learn better, and I’m sure she’d love a new student with this much love for the violin,” she continued, before she felt a tug on her arm and looked down to see a small child, maybe two years old, looking up at her with a small pout. Without a second thought, Lucy scooped the little girl into her arms, holding her close in a cuddle as she continued to talk to Wendy. “If I’d known, I would’ve brought my violin today. It’s not much, but if you don’t mind a bit of a cheaper model, I could lend it to you sometimes.”  
“Wendy, don’t even try to say no,” Sherria said before Wendy could talk, her grin wide as she looked between Lucy and her twin sister. “We’ll finally be able to play together if you learn the violin!”  
Lucy watched as the two sisters began to talk excitedly about a future they’d already planned out together, her heart full with a warmth she wasn’t sure she had ever felt before. She was content with just holding the small two-year-old in her arms and listen to the teenage girls talk about their life, feeling as if she belonged here, on the floor of this warm room, surrounded by children like her, knowing Natsu was just a short distance away. She glanced at the man when she thought of him, and found him already looking at her, a softness in his eyes as he took in the sight of her holding the small child, and felt a small blush rise on her cheeks as she realized he was having the same thoughts she’d had earlier about him, about building a family of their own.  
Smiling at the man, she poked her tongue out at him to bring a laugh out of him, and followed suit with her own soft laughter as she saw him make a face right back at her. Leaning her unhurt cheek down on the top of the head of the small child in her arms, she let the warmth take over her as she allowed her heart to feel every good emotion in the air around her, her soul easing down on its restlessness as she let herself settle down in this moment.


	9. All Mine

After that day at the orphanage, her visits to Fairy Tail became a frequent staple for Lucy. Whenever she had a day off, even if Natsu wasn’t working there, the blonde would go visit the orphanage, and take her violin with her. Eventually, when Wendy and Sherria’s birthday rolled around, Lucy and her friends all chipped in to buy the teenager a violin for herself, as well as an electric keyboard for Sherria. The two sisters had thanked the six of them with tears and a lot of hugs, and Lucy had known then that she would do anything for the two twin sisters.  
On some days when Natsu was working, Lucy stopped by after work instead of heading towards the town square, watching him interact with the kids around with a smile on her lips. He seemed happy amidst them, never once losing his patience even when they tried their very best to test him, and Lucy enjoyed seeing him interact with the small kids that loved to hang around his feet at all times. She would help sometimes, and more than once caught Natsu looking at her with a dreamy expression in his eyes, as if he was picturing a future he hadn’t quite talked to her about, yet. She didn’t blame him, as she had the same thoughts but was also too afraid to bring them up so soon.  
The months passed quick as they settled into their new routine, and more often than not, Natsu spent his nights sleeping in Lucy’s bed. More and more of his things were mixed in with hers, the drawer she’d cleared for him no longer enough to hold the clothes he left with her, so she’d ended up clearing up half of her closet to hold it. There were now different smelling shampoos in the bathroom and the kitchen held more food than Lucy had ever had when she lived alone in Crocus. There were some decorative items she hadn’t put up herself now hanging over the apartment, and Lucy couldn’t say she minded.  
Between all the changes, Lucy kept working with Freed on editing her manuscript and she finally felt like it was finally coming together. It had been six months since they’d begun working together, and the story now resembled a book more than it ever had, with the changes that the man had helped Lucy make, and from his estimates, they’d have it ready in two months, at most. Lucy was ecstatic about it, constantly rambling to her friends about how much she wanted the book to succeed, and she was sure they were all over hearing her talk about it, even though they never said.  
Through that, she’d also been practicing with Natsu for Erza’s wedding, which would be happening in a week. The idea had first been for Natsu to perform by himself, the only requisite being that the song had to be slow enough for Jellal and Erza to enjoy their first dance to. The pink haired man had gone over many ideas, most of them being shot down when Lucy had explained that maybe some of the lyrics weren’t that great to sing at a wedding.  
Then, one night, they came across the perfect song. Or rather, Lucy extracted the song from Natsu.  
They’d been in bed, both awake as the man tried to kill Lucy into sleep, but it seemed her body wasn’t having it, despite her exhaustion from the day. She was laying with her head on his chest, eyes focused on her fingers as hey danced around the skin on his chest, when she heard him begin to hum. She’d heard the tune a thousand times, it seemed - he had a habit of humming it to her often, at night. She had never recognized the song, and at last it seemed her curiosity had gotten the best of her.  
“Natsu,” she called in a soft whisper, moving away from him slightly; she used her elbow to prop herself up, facing the man. “What’s that song you’re always singing? You’ve been singing that ever since we met and I couldn’t sleep, but I never figured out what it was,” she said, watching him begin to blush at being called out. “You hum it a lot, but never sing it... If you want you can just tell me the name and I’ll look it up...”  
“No, no, it’s fine,” the man interrupted, exhaling as he propped himself up until he was sitting on the bed. He was shirtless, legs covered by a pair of sweatpants he’d been using to sleep, and moved around Lucy as he got on his feet. “C’mon, I’ll play it for you,” he said, holding out his hand for the blonde, who took it gingerly as she stood up, her nightgown falling to her thighs as she did. “Let’s hope your neighbors can’t hear,” Natsu mumbled, guiding Lucy back to her living room, and gently urging her to sit next to him on the padded bench behind the piano.  
The first time Lucy heard Natsu play the piano was that night; it was also the first time the piano had been used since Anna’s passing. Lucy wasn’t sure if that was the reason why she was moved to tears by the end of it, or if Natsu’s gentle singing voice would’ve been enough, but by the end of the song she had a stream of tears rolling down her cheeks, the back of her hand covering her parted lips as she felt her heart roll around her chest, full of emotion. Despite having never heard this particular song before, Lucy felt like it was tailored to her - the words were full of a love she couldn’t believe was hers, and the sound was gentle as the rain against the window.  
She’d wanted to keep that song all to herself, the moment too special to even tell Levy about, but when Natsu was struggling to decide which song would be best for Erza and Jellal, Lucy suggested he sang that one - it fit the couple perfectly, and it was slow enough that they could enjoy their first dance leisurely. Because she had suggested it, Natsu was quick to enlist her help, letting her know that there was a violin in the original that she would need to play with him, and so their rehearsals began. Most days, they practiced well into the night, Lucy being glad that her walls were soundproofed by Anna before, but Lucy never felt tired the next day.  
They spent months perfecting the song, wanting Erza and Jellal’s wedding to not be a mess due to their performance. Lucy figured that maybe, after hearing the song over and over again, she’d grow tired of it, but instead she only felt like the song was more special as time went on. Each time she heard the words fall from Natsu’s lips, and each time she slid the bow over the strings on her violin, she only grew more attached. She was sure that, when she grew old, she’d be just as fond of the tune.  
With one week left, Lucy was, regretfully, just now choosing her dress. She’d been so engulfed in everything else, she had completely forgotten she was supposed to go pick out a dress that matched that of Milliana, Erza’s other bridesmaid. She had no maid of honor, having left the spot vacated because she’d chosen Anna for it before her untimely death, and she didn’t want to replace her. Lucy had seen both Erza’s and Milliana’s dress, and had written down the key points that needed to resemble Milliana’s, but hadn’t gotten around to find one yet. So, with one week left, she’d begged Cana, who she knew was home at the time, to take her dress shopping.  
Lucy woke up earlier than Natsu that morning, leaving his side with a gentle press of her lips to his forehead. She had to catch an early train back to Crocus, where Cana and her would make their rounds, looking for the dress that would suit Lucy best, and so she left the house quietly, an excited feeling in her abdomen. She liked shopping well enough, but to have the opportunity to spend the entire day with Cana was even better - she had missed her sister like crazy.  
With her earphones in, the train ride felt like a breeze. Lucy kept watching the outside speed by her, the music she was listening to carrying her through different thoughts and worlds. She had taken her laptop with her, hoping maybe she could get some more work done on her book, but ended up not picking it up as she didn’t feel she’d be very productive so early in the morning. The only time Lucy looked away from everything passing by outside was when she received a text from Natsu, a picture of him with a pout on his lips with a caption to greet her and wish her a fun day with Cana - not for the first time, Lucy felt like she’d found the one person she could never lose, no matter what.  
When she arrived in Crocus, the morning was already well on its way, people shuffling by everywhere around her. She had missed the business of the town, but after she was bumped into three times, she desperately wished she was back in quieter Magnolia. Before she could voice her frustration, however, she spotted her sister and grinned widely, heading in her direction.  
“Cana!” The two met in a tight hug, Cana’s strong arms squeezing the breath out of the blonde. “I can’t breathe,” she complained in a hush, chuckling as she was released. “I missed you. Do you think we can stop somewhere for breakfast? I didn’t have any before I left,” Lucy continued, a pout on her lips as she looked at the brunette in front of her.  
“Sure thing, Lu,” Cana said, throwing her arm over the blonde’s shoulders as she urged her to walk forward. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on, after all. You’ve been dodging my questions about that pink-haired boyfriend of yours for long enough,” the older woman snickered, and Lucy blushed as she tried to make herself smaller by her side. “I mean, how long has it been since you’ve been dating? How did you end up dating? Is he good in the sack?”  
“Cana!” Lucy’s voice was a squeak as she stopped her sister’s questions, her whole face bright red as she lifted her hands to hide behind. She heard the woman laugh next to her and groaned, peeking a look at her through her fingers. “You’re awful,” she stated, but couldn’t help the smile on her lips. “We’ve been dating for, hm... eight months now. And us getting together just kind of... happened. We just click,” she said, despite her embarrassment, and slowly lowered her hands and shoved them in her pockets. “He’s loud and weird and shameless, but I love him.”  
“You love him!” Cana interrupted Lucy this time, a wide grin on her lips as she pulled the blonde woman closer. “I haven’t seen you like this since Loke. Actually, scratch that - even Loke didn’t make you shine like this, Lu. I’m glad.” The brunette’s voice was more serious now, and Lucy appreciated her sister’s words for what they were - she knew Cana had worried when Lucy had moved to Magnolia, especially because of how she had seen her before she’d even first visited the town, so Lucy guessed she was just glad she was okay. “But you didn’t tell me about his skills with-“  
Lucy interrupted the older woman once more before she could continue her line of questioning, the two laughing as they continued their conversation in a safer, more appropriate direction. Having found a coffee shop they used to visit when they were younger, they sat and had their breakfast calmly, before they set forth on their task to find Lucy a light turquoise dress she could wear to Erza’s wedding. It wasn’t an easy task, especially considering that Lucy had to think about how easy she would be able to move her arms to play the violin while wearing the dress, but they eventually found the one they both thought would be best. Before she made her purchase, Lucy sent a picture to the bride-to-be, and after she received her approval she didn’t hesitate to buy the garment.  
After they had the dress, the two women made their way more carefully around town, Lucy holding her dress inside a bag very gently, in search of shoes and accessories to go with it. Lucy was having the time of her life, despite her sister’s constant pestering about her boyfriend, and she wished that Cana lived closer so they could do it more often. It was a selfish desire, she knew she couldn’t ask her sister to uproot her life just for her, but she kept the want guarded inside her heart carefully.  
“Wow, is that Lucy Clive?”  
Lucy almost didn’t recognize her name fall from another woman’s lips nearby, having gotten used to everyone calling her by the surname she shared with her deceased sister, back in Magnolia, but when she noticed Cana look behind her, she turned to look as well. There, she saw three women she recognized vaguely. They were snickering under their breath, and Lucy realized they were some of the girls that had given her a hard time during her school years, simply because she was dating the boy they wanted for themselves. Sighing, Lucy turned her back on them again, ready to ignore them, but found that she couldn’t when she heard them call for her directly.  
“Lucy!” The one in the center said, and Lucy put on her best smile as to not let them know she wanted anything but to talk to them. “We haven’t seen you around in a while! Did you move?” The woman continued, as the three walked closer. Lucy knew she didn’t have to give her an answer, but nodded anyway. “Oh, went after Loke, did you? I heard he moved to Magnolia to open up his own restaurant.”  
“He did.” Lucy could tell her voice sounded bitter, and tried her best to counter it with a smile on her lips. “It’s a wonderful place, but I didn’t find out about it until my boyfriend took me there,” she continued, feeling Cana move to stand by her side. She glanced at the woman and noticed that she was wearing a scowl on her face, arms crossed over her chest. “If you don’t mind, we’ve got-”  
“Oh, boyfriend? That’s cute,” the same woman from before continued, and Lucy noticed she had a wedding band around her ring finger, especially because the woman was making it very evident as she moved her hand purposely in front of Lucy’s face, although she tried to disguise it. “Is it one of the boys from that silly video my husband showed me the other day? I mean, I almost didn’t believe it was you, the name wasn’t right, but now that I see you again I can tell it’s definetely you. Didn’t know you were into that sort of thing!”  
“Alright, that’s enough,” Cana said from Lucy’s left, but before she could start defending her sister, Lucy’s phone rang, interrupting her.  
Lucy looked down as she heard her ringtone, balancing her garment bag in one hand as she searched her purse for her phone with the other. When she found it, she smiled at the image of her boyfriend up on the screen, a picture she’d taken of him when he hadn’t noticed, and tapped the screen once to answer his call.  
“Hey, Natsu,” she greeted the man, unbothered as she saw the three women who had been bothering her stare at her. “Is it your lunch break yet?,” she asked into the phone, turning her back on the women and taking a few steps away from them without a second thought as she continued her conversation. She could feel their eyes on her back but ignored it, allowing the sound of Natsu’s voice to gently smooth the knot inside her chest that had formed due to the unwanted presence of her past bullies, and once the conversation was over, Lucy felt stronger than a few moments prior.  
“Cana, let’s go,” she called to her sister once she hung up the call, glancing at the brunette before she glared at the women, still standing there and staring as if they were better than her. “We’ve got better things to do than amuse these three,” she continued, watching their faces morph into one of slight shock. “They might not have more important things to work on, but I do have to get back home today, Erza’s wedding is closing in and Natsu wants to put as much practice into our performance as possible. They’re not worth my precious time.”  
“You got it Lu,” her sister replied, a huge grin on her lips as she bounced over to the blonde, holding her free arm as the two began to walk away. “That Natsu guy, he’s good for you,” the brunette said after a few moments of silence, her smile unchanged even though her voice was more serious. “I didn’t think I’d see the day you’d stand up to those three. I’m glad he can bring out that side of you,” she continued, squeezing her sister’s arm gently. “And I’m glad to see you so happy. You had me scared for a while, there, Lucy.”  
“I know,” Lucy replied quietly, a soft sigh passing her lips. “There was a point I didn’t think I’d survive,” she admitted, looking down at her feet as she walked. “After Anna passed, you saw how I was. When I went to Magnolia for the first time, I was sure I wouldn’t make it back home, but not because I thought I’d stay there. I was sure I was gonna end up dead somewhere,” she continued, the ghost of a smile showing on her lips. “I’m sure if I hadn’t come across Natsu, Erza, Jellal and Gray playing in that square, I wouldn’t be here. They helped me a lot. Even when I thought I was just a replacement for Anna, they proved me wrong and helped me get through.”  
“They’re good friends,” Cana replied in a gentle manner, looking at her younger sister with a smile. “I’m glad you found them, Lu. I’m sure things aren’t just magically all better, but having them around helps to cope, right?”  
“Mmhm,” Lucy agreed with a nod, looking at Cana with a genuine smile on her lips. “There are still bad days, and there are still bad things that happen, but at the end of the day, I’ve got so many people to fall back on, now, it’s easier to live through to another day. Not just them, too. I’ve got Levy and Gajeel, and you and mom and dad, and the people at Fairy Tail, too... I’ve got plenty of good people around me, now.”  
After that conversation, and the less than pleasant encounter with the women who’d ruined Lucy’s life during her school years, the two sisters continued their day in a lighthearted mood, stopping for lunch at a restaurant they used to visit when younger, and then setting forth to find the missing pieces of Lucy’s outfit for Erza’s wedding. They ended up finding both the shoes and accessories at a quaint store they’d never been to before, and before long it was time for Lucy to head back home. Their farewell consisted of long hugs and a few tears here and there, and by the time they were on their separate ways, Lucy once again wished that Cana could live closer. They may not be related by blood, but their sisterly bond ran deep.  
That night, like many other nights, Natsu and Lucy practiced their performance. She was sure that the only reason they kept practicing was because Natsu liked to see the loving look on her face whenever he sang that particular song to her, but she didn’t say a word; she never wanted him to stop declaring his love for her in such a sentimental manner. Besides, extra practice couldn’t hurt.  
The week to Erza’s wedding passed by quickly, and before Lucy could catch her breath again, she was standing in a hotel room with Erza and Milliana, who she’d learned was a childhood friend of Erza and Jellal, and had just put on her dress. The garment fell down close to the middle of her calf in an a-line design, white ruffles under the soft blue of the fabric, a strapless top with a straight neckline that was held together with a gold band all around it. She had managed to find clear, almost crystal-like shoes that she was now wearing, and a gold necklace that sat close to her throat with a light blue pendant resting on her chest. Her hair was pulled up into a large bun, adorned by a blue headband with a flower in the center, and she’d chosen to keep her make up simple, just a tint of blue over her eyelids to tie everything together, and a soft pink gloss over her lips.  
Milliana was wearing a dress in the same color, but hers didn’t have as much flare as Lucy’s - it was a bit shorter, as well, only going down to her knees, and much tighter. Lucy thought maybe it would look weird, as if the two had gone in completely different directions with their choice, but as Milliana wore the same headband as Lucy, and the color was an almost perfect match, they looked good. In fact, Lucy knew they both looked beautiful, but none of them could compare to Erza, really.  
The bride’s dress was simple, an a-line white gown with a few silver embellishments over the stitching and down her skirt, soft blue accents over the silver that matched both bridesmaids’ dresses. Lucy felt in awe as she looked at Erza, her dress almost covering her silver heels, a veil tucking some of her red hair back, long white gloves over her hands and arms. She was holding a bouquet full to the brim with three pastel blue hyndrangea, surrounded and mixed with baby breath, silver paper surrounding the flowers, and a wide grin on her lips, a slight flush on her cheeks.  
“Erza, you look amazing.” Lucy found her voice after a few moments of silence. “I think Jellal’s not going to be able to hold himself back till the ceremony’s over,” she chuckled as Erza blushed harder. “I mean, he seems pretty proper so maybe he will. But you look really beautiful...” She hesitated before she spoke again, her voice gentler and quieter than before. “I’m sure Anna’s watching somewhere and she thinks the same. She would be the proudest maid of honor.”  
“I showed her the dress,” Erza replied in tandem, her voice just as quiet as Lucy’s had been. “I’ve had it chosen for well over a year, she went with me to pick it. But thank you, Lucy. I know how difficult it is to talk about her, I really appreciate the words,” the red-haired woman continued, and Lucy watched as she put down her bouquet and opened her arms. Lucy didn’t hesitate to go in for a careful hug, followed suit by Milliana, and the three spent the remaining of their time together talking happily among themselves, until it was time for the ceremony to begin.  
Lucy had never been to a wedding before, so she wasn’t sure what to expect, so she was surprised to find that it seemed... boring. She sat next to Natsu through the whole thing, hands tangled together between them, but she found herself zoning out a little too often. It wasn’t that she wasn’t ecstatic for her friends, but she had never been religious, so the whole mass just felt a little unnecessary; she decided, then and there, that when she got married she wouldn’t have a priest overseeing the whole process - instead, she’d go with Natsu to sign whatever papers needed signing, and that was it.  
She felt her thoughts drift away from her as she realized she was already imagining such a future, and she should be scared of how easy it was to picture it all, but in that moment she chose to embrace her feelings to their fullest. Her hand tightened around Natsu’s slightly as she imagined a ring around his finger, and tried to imagine what it would be like to be married. Would it be much different from how they were now? Would the feeling of happiness she felt whenever he smiled at her be the same? Would his name still send a flutter of butterflies dancing around her stomach? She was so lost she didn’t realize the ceremony was over until the pink-haired man tugged her hand to get her to stand, and then they both clapped for the happy couple as they walked down the aisle and exited Magnolia’s cathedral.  
Lucy watched the people trickle away from the church, her brown eyes scanning over both the familiar and unfamiliar faces around her. There were a lot of people from the orphanage, as well as some other friends of Erza that Lucy knew had been with her in the orphanage she’d been rescued from, back when she was little. They all seemed happy for the married couple, with varying degrees of glee showing on their faces, and Lucy felt glad that her friends had so many people who cared about them, as well.  
Once the church was emptier, she allowed Natsu to lead her away from it and to his car, so they could drive to the venue where the wedding reception was being held. Lucy had, against her own protesting, rented the blue violin from Gajeel, who was also in attendance of the wedding and had demanded she used it for her performance, and it sat carefully in the backseat, inside its case.  
“Earth to Luce?”  
The blonde woman turned her head to find Natsu look at her weirdly, a half-grin on his lips as he tried to figure out why she was so lost in thought. She smiled at him, and, unable to hold herself back, reached out a hand to caress his clean-shaven cheek. The action made his grin morph into a content smile, and Lucy realized that her heart still stopped in her chest whenever she saw him so genuinely in love.  
“We’re here. You ready to go? You looked like you were thinking pretty hard about something, there,” the man said, turning his face ever so slightly to kiss her palm.  
“Just thinking about you,” she confessed, cupping his cheek in her hand after he turned to face her again. “About us, the future,” she continued, leaning forward to plant a quick peck to his lips. “About what I want to do with you tonight,” she whispered, watching Natsu’s cheeks flame slightly. “And tomorrow. And next week, and the one after that.” She kissed him again, this time holding her lips against his for a while longer, before she pulled back just enough to continue to whisper. “How come I can’t see a future that doesn’t have you in it? How did you manage to squeeze yourself into my heart so fast?”  
“I love you, Luce,” the man whispered back, and then the two melted into a kiss once again. It wasn’t heavy, or with any kind of second intentions, but Lucy relished the moment, dragging it out as much as she could. When they pulled away, both their breaths were a little heavier, a smile mirrored on each other’s faces. “I don’t know how or why, but I know I wanna be with you for a long time, too, if you’ll have me,” he said, and Lucy felt her heart swell inside her chest at the words. Before she could stop herself, she found herself whispering the words that had been on the back of her brain for weeks now.  
“Move in with me.”  
Silence fell upon the couple as Lucy’s words settled between them, her eyes widening slightly as she realized what she’d asked. They’d been together for eight months, but was that too soon for this step? Lucy tried to think on any books she’d read, on any relationships she knew of, and how long it had taken them to take this kind of step forward, but her mind blanked; she couldn’t tell whether or not the timing was right, and if it was even a plausible enough request to make. She stared at Natsu, still bewildered at her own words, and watched his face shift from tenderness, to surprise, and eventually settling on a wide grin.  
“Thought you’d never ask,” the man replied, a chuckle bubbling from his lips as his eyes twinkled with happiness. “I’ve been subtly moving my stuff every time I sleep over, but I didn’t wanna be too forward and ask if I could move in,” he admitted, and Lucy realized that she’d been ignoring the clear signs; she’d made more space for him around her apartment, and was so used to having him home when she got home from work, she didn’t think that maybe he’d been trying to hint that they should live together. “You’re not allergic to cats, right?”  
“Huh?” Lucy blinked twice, confused at the question, but shook her head anyway.  
“Good. I think Happy’s gonna like your place better than mine anyway, your apartment’s much warmer,” Natsu continued, only stopping when he noticed that Lucy was still staring at him in confusion. “Happy’s my cat. I go home every day to hang out with the little dude and feed him, but he’s getting angry that I’m not around all the time anymore,” he explained, and Lucy couldn’t help but to chuckle. “Now we really need to go. Erza will kill me if we get to the reception after she does and steal her spotlight,” he said, and Lucy nodded, complying.  
“Got it, got it. We’ll talk more about the moving later.” She ended their conversation with another gentle kiss to his lips before she pulled away from her boyfriend.  
Together, the couple headed into the reception venue, which was decorated beautifully with blue hyndrangea all over, mixed with roses the color of Erza’s hair. Lucy realized, then, that Jellal had been wearing a red rose on his pocket at the wedding, and figured that the theme of the wedding was based on the color of their hair. She chuckled at the thought as she followed Natsu to their table, where Gray and Juvia were already sitting with Gajeel and Levy, and let their friends distract her with conversation soon after she was sitting.  
The reception was a lot more fun than the ceremony had been, Lucy choosing not to indulge herself in too much alcohol, at least not until after her performance with Natsu, but finding the experience enjoyable nonetheless. She chatted with her friends about different things, managed to congratulate Erza and Jellal properly on their marriage once they stopped by their table, and even had some time to spend with Wendy, showing her the beautiful violin she’d rented from Gajeel’s store.  
“Alright, it’s finally time for the happy couple to enjoy their first dance as husband and wife!” The voice was unfamiliar to Lucy, she guessed he had been hired with the sole purpose of presenting the couple and each special moment of the reception, but she knew that was cue to pick her violin up and head to the stage with Natsu. “Please, welcome Natsu Dragneel and Lucy Heartfilia, who will be performing a special song for Mr. and Mrs. Fernandez,” the man continued, and Lucy waved with a smile from the small stage at the people gathered to celebrate Erza and Jellal, before she went about taking the blue violin out of its case and plugging it in.  
She waited until Natsu was settled behind the black piano that Gajeel had wheeled into the stage carefully, before she gave the man a nod, closing her eyes as the lights dimmed. She opened her eyes to see Erza and Jellal head towards the center of the open space between the stage and the tables, which had been deemed as the dance floor, a spotlight over them as they held each other. Natsu began playing the piano then, and Lucy looked at the man then, a smile on her lips as he began to sing.  
“ _All my problems, they will run away from you, and I see all the angels sit and stare at you... You are everything, but not today..._ ” Natsu’s soft voice was hypnotizing, and Lucy felt the usual warmth from hearing him sing those same words, but she lifted her bow to the violin as he stopped singing, joining his melody in long, gentle strokes of the bow over the strings. “ _I’m so down and out, ‘cause somethings wrong without you..._ ” She moved her arm with a little more intent, joining his piano’s quick key successions. “ _Just shadows and rain fall, wait till tomorrow, I’ll wait... Just wanna be with you, only you, always you... You’re so beautiful to me it’s true, amazed by you... I think I’m falling..._ ”  
Natsu’s voice rang out and Lucy swayed her body to the movement of her arm, continuing to play her violin gently. She allowed herself to look over at her friends, still dancing alone in the middle of the dance floor, and her smile softened as she saw the way they looked at each other, like there was nothing else around them. She was sure she’d shared that same look with Natsu plenty of times in the past, and while the thought should probably still scare her, it didn’t. She might not have known Natsu as long as Erza and Jellal had known each other, but, to her, it felt like she’d known him forever, inside and out.  
“ _All my worries, they just sleep in late, lying next to you... But I fall to pieces and crumble away... Today nothing works!_ ” Natsu sang a little louder, and Lucy looked at the man again, losing herself in the green of his eyes as she saw him look at her, a smile on his lips. “ _I’m so down and out, ‘cause something is wrong without you... When you’re not around, just shadows and rain fall... Wait till tomorrow, can’t wait! Just wanna be with you, only you, always you... You’re so beautiful to me it’s true, amazed by you... I think I’m falling!_ ”  
As Natsu went into the chorus once again, Lucy followed the main melody of the song with her violin, replacing him as he instead vocalized over it. They had tried to get her to sing the chorus in that part, but with the violin under her chin it had been difficult to manage it, so they’d chosen to have her play the instrument instead, completely. As the song ended, she held out the last note to match Natsu’s voice, and then they both went silent simultaneously. Lucy was still staring at the man she loved, and could tell that, if it wasn’t for the people applauding, they’d be lost in that moment forever.  
Breaking out of their apparent staring contest, Lucy turned to the crowd and bowed in gratefulness, before she hurried to put away the blue violin and rushed back to their table to put it away, before she went and joined Natsu on the dance floor as the man presenting the reception called for all couples to take the next dance. Lucy let Natsu hold her right hand as she placed her left on his shoulder, and together they began to sway slowly to the song playing over the speakers.  
“All Mine,” the pink-haired man whispered against her ear, sending a slight shiver down the blonde’s spine.  
“Hm?” She replied in a question, wondering what exactly the man was saying.  
“The song. The name is All Mine,” he explained, and Lucy parted her lips as she made a sound of understanding. “I sang it to you because I wanted you to be that. And now you are. All mine,” he continued, and the warm butterflies inside Lucy’s body began to made her feel as if she could float. “I’m gonna marry you someday, Lucy Heartfilia,” he murmured against her ear still, and Lucy felt her heart beat harder inside her chest. “Maybe not right now, or tomorrow, and I’ll propose to you properly one day too, but I’d like to be all yours too. I’d like to marry you someday, if you’ll have me.”  
“Of course.”  
The words fell from Lucy’s lips without hesitation, and she knew that, even without a ring or making it official, she meant it. If Natsu had said he’d wanted to elope and get married that night, she’d have followed him to the ends of the earth to make it happen. For the time being, there was no boundaries she wouldn’t cross to get her happy ending with the man she loved; in that moment, there was nothing but them, even as they were surrounded by friends and strangers.


	10. Stage kara Kimi ni Sasagu // Homura

The weeks after Erza’s wedding were quiet like Lucy hadn’t experienced before, since moving to Magnolia. With two of Natsu’s band members away, the only times Lucy got to hear him play his guitar was at Fairy Tail, and even then he’d mostly be teaching the younger kids rather than playing it himself. Lucy was much the same, using her time to try and help Wendy on her violin, sometimes even calling her former teacher, Aquarius, so that together they could figure out how to best help the blue-haired girl improve her playing. The time she didn’t spend at Fairy Tail or at work was mostly spent working on her book, her flame of passion for the project burning brighter than ever.  
Life, however, couldn’t be all work and no play.  
Lucy hadn’t gotten a chance to truly relax lately, so when she found herself on a day off while Natsu was at work all day, she decided she’d spend the day resting. That lasted about an hour into being awake, before her restlessness got into her and she found herself out of bed and getting dressed to head out, simply because she couldn’t stand the thought of spending her day looking at the same four walls she already did, during her few sleepless nights. She decided that being out of her apartment counted as relaxing, so long as she spent her day unconcerned about her work.  
With earphones on her ears, the blonde walked the distance to her favorite coffee shop for a slightly late breakfast, despite the fact that the sky over her head looked to be filling with clouds, promising a rain to befall upon her should she stand around on the street too long. Thankfully, the coffee shop wasn’t very far, and she made it just before the rain started to fall, the patter of the water droplets hitting the window overpowering the music that filled her ears. She took a second to appreciate the view through the large window, a soft sight on her lips, before she turned around to head towards the counter to place her order, but instead ended up hitting something soft.  
“Oof!” She exclaimed in surprise, holding out her hands to hold herself steady, realizing a second later that she was holding someone’s shoulders. Blinking, she focused on the man before her, his expression showing almost nothing but confusion; she could see something else playing in the back of his eyes, almost shy to come out, but she didn’t focus on it, instead pulling her hands away with a gentle smile. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t— wait, hey, aren’t you the guy who sang at the battle of the bands with the band who won?”  
“Oh,” was the boy’s sole reply, and Lucy blinked twice as she expected him to answer her question. She stood there for a few moments, looking between his golden eyes, until she began to feel embarrassed and decided to look at his ginger hair instead, which looked slightly fluffed up as if he’d just woken up. She was close to admitting defeat and walking away when the boy’s soft voice was heard again.  
“Hm,” he said, and Lucy hung onto his every word as he gave a small nod, despite him not speaking many. “Uenoyama-kun said people might recognize me,” he murmured, and Lucy gave a slight nod of her own, although she had no idea who this Uenoyama person was, and why the ginger-head was bringing him up in the first place. There were a few more moments of silence, and then Lucy saw a kind smile cross the boy’s lips. “I’m Mafuyu Satou,” he introduced himself, sticking his hand out so close to Lucy’s face she had to take a small step back.  
“Lucy Heartfilia,” she replied with a smile nonetheless, lifting her hand to give the extended one a small shake. “You guys were wonderful, I was happy to hear you’d won,” she admitted, her honesty getting the best of her as she watched the boy tilt his head, almost like a confused puppy. “Not that I didn’t want us to win, but I was glad to know it had been you, once I got over that.”  
“I remember you.” The boy’s voice was so gentle, so quiet, that Lucy was having a hard time linking it back to that heart wrenching song he’d sung for the crowd, back at the show. Back then, he’d sounded raw, hurt, his face transpiring all that he was feeling; now, he just seemed like an empty shell of the boy she’d seen on that stage. “You’re the girl who began singing from the crowd,” he confirmed, and Lucy nodded to let him know that had been her, indeed. “You have a beautiful voice.”  
“Oh, thank you.” Lucy blushed lightly at the compliment, looking away from Mafuyu for a moment, before she traced her eyes on him again. “Are you from around here? I’ve never seen you before,” she said, her voice showing how pensive she was as she wondered about whether or not she’d come across the male before. She couldn’t place a moment in her mind when she’d seen him besides the battle of the bands, and she was sure his ginger hair wouldn’t have missed her eye if he’d been around.  
“We’re playing tonight,” the boy replied, and Lucy’s expression changed into one of excitement at his words. She’d been wanting to hear the band play again, had gotten curious due to their sound and lyrics, but hadn’t written down the name of the band so she could look it up when she’d gotten home, too preoccupied with everything going on with Natsu to really think about it. The boy must’ve picked up on her excitement, because his kind smile became a little wider as he adjusted the scarf around his neck. “You should come. We’re playing at the venue across town, I’ll put you on the list so you won’t have to pay for your ticket.”  
“Oh, no, I’d love to pay! I understand it’s part of how you make a living,” she was quick to deny his kindness, although she appreciated it. “I’ll definitely be there, though. What time is it? Will you be playing the song from the battle of the bands again? I’ll have to wear waterproof mascara if you do, that was a real heartbreaker.”  
“Oh.” Lucy watched the boy’s expression morph again into confusion, and she could almost see him try to pierce together what she’d said inside his brain. When it seemed he’d realized what she meant, his eyes became a little wider as he looked back at her. “We are playing that. And a few more. The concert’s at six.”  
Lucy nodded in acknowledgement, making a note of it on her phone before she forgot. She realized she’d have to go by herself, since Natsu would only be free after seven thirty, but she didn’t really mind; it wouldn’t be her first time attending a show by herself, she’d done it when she was younger as well, when she didn’t have the friends to attend the concerts she liked to watch with.  
After a few more pleasantries, the two parted ways, Lucy watching the male leave the coffee shop despite the rain, running towards a parked car while shielding the bag he had been holding close to his chest all along. When he opened the door, she saw briefly a man sitting on the driver’s seat, his blue eyes lighting up for a second when they first rested upon Mafuyu’s face, before the door was closed behind the ginger and Lucy’s vision was cut. She smiled nonetheless, recognizing the warmth she’d seen in those eyes, and then set to order her breakfast like she’d intended to from the start.  
As Lucy sat, her breakfast in front of her on a brown tray, she groaned as she realized she’d forgotten to ask the boy the name of the band he was a part of. She had wanted to look for their songs online, maybe get a little more familiarity with them so she could enjoy the concert more, but she’d completely forgotten that in order to do so, she had to know the name of the band. Determined to accomplish her task, however, Lucy searched online for the name, finding it after only a few moments, and smiled.  
“Given, huh?” The blonde murmured to herself as she found a video of their performance from the battle of the bands, adjusting her earphones on her ears as she pressed on it so it’d start playing.  
As she listened to the song once more, she felt her heart constrict inside her chest. Just like the day she’d first heard it, she felt the words resonate deep inside her chest, reverberating painfully with each and every sentence that passed. Just like she remembered, the song was about a painful loss, that Lucy was much too familiar with, although she could tell that this was about a past lover, and not a relative like her case.  
Lucy tried to find other songs online, but came up short, so she ended up eating her breakfast to the sound of Mafuyu’s broken heart, her eyes catching the same blue eyes she’d seen inside the car that picked the boy up earlier on that video, seeing them flicker to Mafuyu’s pained face a few times in concern as the dark-haired guitarist continued to play his part, smiling for the crowd when need be. On one of the shots of the crowd, she saw her tear-stained face for a brief second, even.  
Once she was finished eating, Lucy watched the rain outside, which had calmed into a softer downpour in the meanwhile, and listened to the song on repeat, allowing her own emotions to swirl with the melody of the guitar as she listened intently to the ginger-haired boy sing his broken heart out. She wondered what kind of things Mafuyu had gone through, if this song was as clear as Lucy was understanding it; she wondered about the glances she saw from the guitarist towards the boy, and what they could mean, considering they were playing a love song laced with pain; she wondered why the bassist had looked so surprised when the boy had started singing, and why the drummer looked so down as he glanced over at everyone.  
Before she’d realized, a couple hours had passed since Lucy had arrived at the coffee shop and there was a small crowd forming inside the place as most people tried to escape the rain. Deciding she’d spent enough time there, Lucy collected her tray and took it up to the counter before she did the opposite of everyone else and walked out into the rain, the gentle droplets bringing a slight smile out of her as she allowed herself to enjoy their coldness.  
The blonde author had always enjoyed the rain. When she was younger, she’d often sit by her bedroom window watching the downpour outside, wishing she could be underneath it. One time, she’d actually stood under the rain on her balcony for hours, music playing into her ears as she faced the sky to allow the rain to drown her sadness completely; in the end, it did nothing but soak her clothes completely and make her shiver, but somehow she’d felt more at peace than she had, up until that point.  
As she walked under the falling rain now, she had the urge to stop and stare at the sky as well, wanting the droplets to wash away any pain she still felt inside her heart, but, now older, she didn’t allow herself to. She knew she’d get sick if she was to indulge, so she walked back to her apartment at a leisurely pace instead, given’s sound still playing through her earphones as she did. Much too soon for her liking, she arrived at her building, hair dripping and clothes clinging to her body, but she didn’t mind.  
She took a long bath as soon as she was home, lighting up candles and enveloping herself in silence and bubbles. She laid under the water until it began to turn cold, muscles relaxing as she warmed herself up after her walk under the rain, and when she was done she noticed through her window that the rain had stopped sometime while she’d been in the bath. She got dressed while humming the song she’d listened to so many times that morning under her breath, and set about making herself lunch.  
Time trickled by easily after that, the hours spent with a book she had been gifted a while ago in her hands as she read it for the first time, the story compelling her to sit back and enjoy a life that was not her own. When she got a reminder on her phone that she had a concert to attend, she marked her place with a bookmark she’d found amidst Anna’s books, and then stretched when she got up, heading towards the bedroom she shared with Natsu to finish getting ready. Despite the weeks that had passed, they hadn’t been able to move everything he owned into her apartment, so some things were still haphazardly thrown somewhere to make space for the pink-haired man, and his cat still hadn’t been brought in so it wouldn’t get lost in the confusion.  
When Lucy was done getting ready, she made sure she had everything in her purse before leaving her house, sending Natsu a text to let him know where she was headed and that she was taking his car, which they’d been sharing since Lucy, despite having her license, hadn’t bought one for herself. She drove to the venue where she’d been told the concert was, finding a parking space nearby, and when she got to the door she was glad to see there were still thirty minutes to go until the show started.  
After Lucy paid for her ticket and was allowed inside, she navigated the small venue until she found a good spot to watch the concert, her eyes taking in the room around her, and seeing the excited faces of some of the people waiting for the band. She was sure her face also displayed some sort of excitement, but she was mostly serene, the rain from earlier still affecting her soul in ways she could never quite comprehend.  
“Bunny girl!”  
Lucy looked up as she heard the nickname Gajeel had given her, much to her annoyance, and found the man waving at her from the stage as he set up. She should’ve guessed that he’d be around, considering how close the venue was to his music shop, but it was still a nice surprise to see a familiar face. She watched him for a few moments as he continued to help setting up for the concert, before he disappeared towards the back and Lucy didn’t see him anymore.  
Before long, the lights dimmed and the room quieted down as the four men she’d been seeing in video that morning took to the stage. Mafuyu was the only one out of the four who didn’t smile and wave at the crowd, but Lucy could tell it wasn’t because he didn’t enjoy being on stage; from what she’d seen earlier, when they’d met at the coffee shop, that was just how the ginger acted. She watched the four take their place, and then Mafuyu’s eyes scanned the crowd, giving a small smile and wave when he spotted her amidst the rest.  
“Alright, let’s get this going!” The bassist spoke into the microphone, his long blonde hair tied back into a low ponytail as he addressed the crowd. “Thank you for having us again, Magnolia. We’re given, and we hope we can entertain you for a while!”  
After that, the band started their show, their songs full of emotions Lucy could understand and relate to, even if they were singing in Japanese. She could speak the language because of her adoptive mother’s ascendency, having grown up speaking both Japanese and English because of that, so she had no trouble at all feeling the emotions that were being laid bare on that stage. When the one familiar song she’d heard was played, she felt her eyes tear up despite how many times she’d heard it, but she loved the sound of it nonetheless.  
She’d been cleaning under her eyes when the next song began, so she almost missed the pained look that the blue-eyed guitarist shot Mafuyu as they began to play, but caught it just in time. She wondered for a brief moment what it was about as the instrumental began, but when she heard how Mafuyu’s voice sounded, she could only hear the pain lost in his words, much like it had been at the battle of the bands, and one look at the guitarist told Lucy all she needed to know.  
“[ _I was trapped, a nameless mess,_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-yCRWGd89M)” Mafuyu sang, eyes closed, and the blonde felt something pierce at her heart, with how familiar she was with that feeling. She didn’t know if the people around her could understand the words, since the boy was still singing in Japanese after all, but she was sure that even without knowing the words, they’d still be able to catch onto the feeling. “ _Put it on the sound and throw it at you now, oh! The lights that illuminate you and I, they shine, even in the future._ ”  
Lucy was taken aback with how hurt both Mafuyu and the band’s guitarist looked in that moment, since she couldn’t help but think that this was a love song, and was almost certain the two were together. She’d seen it at the battle of the bands, the way the guitarist had held Mafuyu as they walked offstage; the way he’d been glancing at the boy with nothing but care in his eyes through this concert, at least until they’d begun playing this last song; the way Mafuyu had leaned into him when the other male had walked closer to him as he’d been playing. She wondered why they both looked so pained by the words coming out of the ginger’s lips.  
“ _Dedicated to you from the stage, dedicated to you... Oh, oh, everything about me. Dedicated to you from the stage, dedicated to you... Oh, oh, stabbed by you!_ ”  
Lucy felt a pang in her heart at the last words Mafuyu sang in that chorus, realizing that that’s where his hurt came from. The person he was singing to had hurt him somehow, so even though he sang of love and their future, he was still hurting by whatever they’d done. Lucy glanced at the guitarist and thought that maybe that’s why he looked so pained; maybe he was regretting whatever he’d done that had hurt the lead vocalist.  
“ _If you swallow it all, it will accumulate - I’ll put it on the rhythm and throw at you now, oh!_ ” Mafuyu’s voice sounded a little strained, but still beautifully melodic, and Lucy was taken by it like she’d been before. “ _If I can see you again, I’ll be fine then. Tell me about the days you spent, oh!_ ”  
The song slowed after that, and Lucy finally understood. The person who’d hurt Mafuyu wasn’t up on that stage with them; if she was to piece together the puzzle from the songs she’d heard, that person wasn’t alive at all. She felt her chest hurt at the realization, understanding Mafuyu’s pain a little too well, but she also understood that the boy still loved that person dearly. And that, she figured, was why the guitarist looked so dejected as he strummed his guitar along with Mafuyu in slow, controlled chords. She watched the two with her eyes brimming with tears for both, for she knew the pain of loving someone and losing them, but also could understand the pain of seeing someone you love so taken by someone else.  
“ _Hey, what happened? What kind of days did you spend?_ ” Mafuyu spoke the words gently, his eyes closed and his head tilted slightly towards the ceiling; Lucy knew he was speaking directly to whoever it was he’d lost, hoping they could still hear. “ _Tears, fear, anger, loneliness, they can't be called equal... Even in such situations, there was surely a smile,_ ” he continued, and Lucy watched as he opened his eyes and glanced at the guitarist before facing the ceiling once more. “ _I have many things, just like you, that I cried and laughed at. So I'm sure we'll manage to meet again._ ”  
There was a slight pause then and Lucy felt like she was going to cry, and not only because she felt Mafuyu’s words deep inside her soul. She felt that the words were her own, a calling to her sister with whom she wanted to share everything that had happened in the past ten months; she wanted to be able to tell her everything. But no, that wasn’t the only thing that hurt - it was the way the guitarist had seemed to be so completely broken by the knowledge that Mafuyu could only think of this other person, that the singer was so desperate and firm in believing that they’d be together again.  
“ _Dedicated to you from the stage, dedicated to you, the sounds I create over and over again,_ ” the song continued with a swirl of emotions in it, all of them enveloping Lucy and bringing tears down her cheeks that she didn’t manage to hold back. “ _Dedicated to you from the stage, dedicated to you... Oh, oh... Stabbed by you._ ” As the chorus came to an end, Lucy did her best to clear away her tears with the back of her hand, vision blurry as she watched the band on stage come together for the closing of the song, despite the pain, the instruments taking over for a few moments.  
“ _If I can see you again,_ ” Mafuyu sang, but his voice sounded distant. He was standing further from the microphone than before, and Lucy could see him singing directly towards the ceiling, instead of the crowd in front of him. “ _I’ll be fine then. Listen to my everyday story._ ”  
As the song faded into nothingness, Lucy couldn’t move, her empathy pulling her in two different directions as she tried to hold herself together. She sympathized with the singer up on that stage, knowing the pain caused by the loss of someone she held dear, but the pained expression on the guitarist’s face, despite being gone now and replaced with a wide, grateful grin as he thanked the crowd, was something Lucy was sure she’d never want to face, something she was sure she wouldn’t be able to forget. The people around her clapped and cheered the great performance, but Lucy found herself frozen, looking at the stage but unable to focus on what was going on in it.  
“Lucy.”  
She broke out of her reverie when her name was called, and found Mafuyu standing right in front of her, his impassive face betrayed by the slight curiosity in his eyes. Lucy raised her hand to wipe the remains of her tears from the corners of her eyes, offering the boy a gentle smile.  
“That was a wonderful performance,” she complimented, tentatively reaching out a hand to place on his shoulder, patting it softly. “I’m glad I decided to wear the waterproof makeup, I’d look like a mess right now if I hadn’t,” she continued, trying to pass it off as a joke even though she was sure some of her pain was still displayed in her eyes. She knew Mafuyu had understood when he gave a slight hum and a nod, his arms enclosed tightly around a bouquet of flowers he held to his chest.  
“Come,” he said gently, moving one arm so that he could hold onto Lucy’s wrist, softly pulling her along with him towards the backstage area. She wasn’t sure why he was doing it, if it was simply because she’d been kind to him earlier that day, or if it was because he could understand that she was hurting and wanted to help, but she appreciated it nonetheless. “Uenoyama-kun saw you in the crowd and asked to meet you.”  
Once again, Lucy had a hard time connecting the person she’d seen singing up on that stage with the male leading her towards the back right now. The way he spoke was so soft and gentle, yet he sang with a burning passion that fired up something she often tried to keep down inside her heart.  
“Mafuyu!” The voice was new to Lucy, but the way the name was spoken with such care and concern let the blonde know that this was the guitarist from the band. Looking at where she’d heard it come from, her suspicion was confirmed as she saw the dark-haired boy walk over to them, his blue eyes flickering over the ginger’s face in search of something before they turned to Lucy, widening slightly. “Oh, you actually came here!”  
“Who did?” Another voice joined the conversation, and Lucy’s gazed moved to the long-haired bassist as he appeared behind the guitarist. His smile was wide and bright as he saw her. “Lucy, right? I was sure your band was gonna win the battle of the bands,” he said in lieu of a greeting, moving around the dark-haired guitarist so he could extend his hand out for her to shake. “It’s a pleasure.”  
“Uhm, the pleasure’s all mine,” Lucy replied, a slightly nervous chuckle passing her lips. She wanted to extend her hand back to the man, but realized that she still felt the pressure of Mafuyu’s hand around her wrist and, too embarrassed to ask him to let go, settled on a small wave instead. “You guys did great, I’m not surprised you won,” she said, as she had already done to the singer of the band earlier. “I’m glad I ran into Mafuyu earlier, it’d be a shame if I’d missed the show tonight, it was great.”  
“Mafuyu?” It was the guitarist who spoke, glancing between Lucy and the ginger-haired man, before he realized he was holding her wrist. “You know each other?”  
“We met today,” Mafuyu replied and, at last, released his hold on Lucy to instead keep holding the bouquet he had on him with both arms. “Heartfilia-sama walked into me when I went to pick up breakfast,” he stated casually, and Lucy blushed as she heard a snort from the drummer, who was sitting on a couch nearby. “You wanted to meet her, right Uenoyama-kun?”  
Lucy watched as the guitarist sputtered and stumbled over his words, a slight tint on his cheeks as he avoided Mafuyu’s eyes. She couldn’t help the smile on her lips as she realized how flustered the man was, while Mafuyu just looked at him with such a starry-eyed look, like a puppy asking to be praised for picking up the ball that was thrown at him, and Lucy once more found it difficult to match this man to the one singing those heartbreaking songs on stage.  
“I did,” Uenoyama acquiesced at last, offering the shorter boy a grateful smile before he turned to Lucy. “Sorry. Name’s Uenoyama Ritsuka. You already know Mafuyu,” he introduced, his hand resting on the back of the singer’s neck, an intimate gesture that made Lucy sure that they weren’t simply friends or band mates. “This here is Haruki Nakayama, our bass,” he said as he pointed at the the long-haired man who’d greeted her before, “and that’s Akihiko Kano, our drummer,” he finished, waving at the man still leaning back on the couch, a relaxed smile on his pierced lips.  
“It’s lovely to meet you all,” she said in genuine glee, enjoying getting to know more people within the music business, and ones that appeared to be so kind, at that. “You can call me Lucy though,” she continued, remembering how Mafuyu had addressed her by her last name just a few moments prior. “I don’t see why you’d want to meet me, of all people, but I hope I live up to the expectations.” She chuckled after saying that, watching the expression on the guitarist’s face morph into surprise.  
“You’re joking, right?” It was Akihiko who spoke from the couch, and Lucy turned slightly to face the man who hadn’t said a word until then. “Your performance at the battle of the bands was something else,” he continued, and Lucy’s cheek flushes slightly, a soft crimson tone that matched her lip gloss. “Besides, we’ve all seen the video you made with the band. And the one where you’re playing the violin. You’re talented and hot, why wouldn’t we wanna meet you?”  
“Akihiko!” The name was called in a squeal and Lucy watched as the bassist that Ritsuka had introduced as Haruki rushed to sit beside the drummer, dejectedly falling against his side as the blonde man chuckled.  
“Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’ve only got eyes for you,” Akihiko mumbled, hand lifting to brush Haruki’s hair back, only to freeze when he saw that Lucy was still watching. “Uh...”  
“It’s okay, I won’t tell,” she said as soon as she realized she was being stared at with a pleading expression. “I mean, it’s none of my business anyway, but you make a cute couple,” she stated with a chuckle, watching as Akihiko’s shoulders sagged in relief and he resumed his hand’s movement over the bassist’s hair, fingers tangling in his long locks as he brushed them back. She then turned to the two boys still in front of her, offering them a calming smile as well. “I won’t say a word about you two as well, don’t worry.”  
“W-what?” It was Ritsuka who spoke, and Lucy watched him fumble over his thoughts once more, most likely debating on a good enough rebuttal to her statement, but it seemed he gave up after a few attempts, sighing instead as he allowed Mafuyu closer to his side, hand sliding from behind his neck, down his back until Lucy couldn’t see it any longer. “How did you know?”  
“It’s written all over your faces,” she replied with a soft shrug, looking between the two once again, a gentle smile still on her lips. “I’ve been told I’m really good at reading people. Mafuyu’s harder to read most of the time from what I can tell, except when he’s singing, but you’ve got it all laid out for me to see.”  
“Oh,” the guitarist replied. His eyes narrowed for a moment in worry, and Lucy knew what he was thinking - he wanted to ask if she’d seen how hurt he had been up on that stage earlier, if she’d noticed his heart breaking as Mafuyu had sung, but didn’t dare open his lips to say the words aloud. “Mafuyu’s easier to read after some time,” he said instead, glancing down at the boy they were speaking of, who looked back up into the man’s blue eyes with such wonder that Lucy almost forgot about earlier.  
“If I had to take a guess,” she began, waiting until she had Mafuyu’s attention on her before she continued, gentle as she could, “I’d say it’s just a protective mechanism. When one’s soul’s hurt, we tend to try and keep as steady as possible, even if that means hiding our emotions completely.” She saw the way Mafuyu’s eyes widened ever so slightly and knew that she had been right. “At least until we find the one person who can bring us out of our dark place,” she continued, glancing at Ritsuka as he, too, looked at her with wide eyes. “Sometimes we still need a little time, but if you’re a little patient, it pays off.”  
There was a short silence in the room, none of the people in it daring to break it, until Mafuyu’s voice was heard once again, small and soft as it was.  
“Heart— I mean, Lucy-sama...” He called out her name almost afraid, but as the blonde nodded, she could see that his hesitation was still present, words slow to come out. “... who did you lose?” He asked at last, and Lucy had seen the question coming already, but it still brought a slight grimace out of her.  
“My sister,” she replied nonetheless, looking away from that soft voice, eyes finding a spot on the ceiling she ended up focusing on. “It’s almost been a year, actually,” she continued, the fact a slight surprise to her as well, as she hadn’t even noticed time go by; it brought another pang to her chest, so she made sure to keep focusing on the ceiling so no one would see the quiet tears in her eyes. “She was the original singer in Natsu’s band; her voice was soft and gentle like yours,” she stated, glancing down at Mafuyu with a half-smile on her lips. “I’d never even considered being a musician until after she passed, but grief has a funny way of making you do things you never even considered.”  
“Oh.” It was Mafuyu who spoke, his grasp on the flowers he held so dearly to his chest loosening slightly. “I didn’t know how to play guitar before I met Uenoyama-kun,” he said in his small voice, and Lucy smiled at the way he glanced at the boy beside him with stars in his eyes before he looked back at Lucy. “I... I broke the strings on Yuuki’s guitar and he helped me fix them,” he continued, and Lucy heard the pain in his voice clear as day as he said it. She felt hurt by his own emotions, empathetic towards his loss, but couldn’t help but also feel sad at the way Ritsuka visibly flinched beside him.  
“Yuuki... He’s the person you lost.” Lucy didn’t phrase it as a question, knowing by then she needed no confirmation, but watched as the singer nodded anyway. “He was very special to you,” she continued, her hand reaching out to his shoulder, soft as she grabbed it. “I’m sure he’d be glad to see you’ve found someone to look after you now that you don’t have him anymore. If he truly loved you, like you loved him, I’m sure he’d be happy to see you moving on and allowing your heart to belong to someone else. Don’t hold yourself hostage.”  
She was sure it wasn’t her place to speak, she had no idea about any of these boys’ lives besides what she’d glimpsed into when they’d been performing, and the time she’d spent with them backstage. Still, she hadn’t hesitated to say the words, and as she watched Mafuyu's eyes water slightly, she almost regretted it.  
"Excuse me a moment," the boy said quietly, carefully pulling himself away from Ritsuka's arms before he stepped out of the room through a door that Lucy guessed led him outside. She watched him go in silence, fearing she might've overstepped her boundaries, and was all but ready to lift her hands in defeat and apologize.  
"He's not very good at talking about it," the guitarist still in front of her said, and Lucy turned to face the dark-haired man once more. "Yuuki is... a difficult topic. Even now, that we're together, he... he still loves him a lot," the man continued, voice lowering into an almost whisper, and Lucy felt once again the pain he carried within him. "But it's better than before. When I first met him, he looked all kinds of lost and dead inside, at least now he smiles and laughs, and he learned the guitar surprisingly fast, and even if he'll always love Yuuki, I think seeing him smile will be enough."  
"He loves you, as well," Lucy dared to say, glancing at the door Mafuyu had walked through a few moments ago, and then back at Ritsuka. "I can tell he does. But grief is a difficult thing to get over. When I first met Natsu, I couldn't remember how long it had been since I'd slept or eaten, he had to carry me around and keep reminding me of when I was supposed to eat because I'd be so consumed in it that I'd forget," she admitted, a hand moving to her own upper arm as she opened up to the stranger, hoping it'd help him not lose all hope. "It got better, but there are still some bad days. Grief never truly leaves, but it does get easier to live with, and once that happens for Mafuyu, I'm sure you'll be glad you waited patiently for him."  
"I'm glad just to see his smile, most days," the boy said with a gentle sigh, moving his hand to ruffle the hair at the back of his own neck, reminding Lucy of how Natsu did the same whenever he was flustered. "But thanks, I guess. I need to remind myself of that sometimes, it gets a bit taxing to hear all these songs he writes so lovingly for someone who's not me," he whispered, before he put a smile on his lips to disguise the pain still shimmering in his irises. "But so long as Mafuyu's healing, even if slowly, I'm gonna be by his side."  
"Ue." Akihito's voice called from the couch, a nickname Lucy was sure stemmed from many years of friendship between them. "Go get Mafuyu, and let's head out somewhere," he said, his hand finally dropping from the locks of Haruki's hair as he got up, heading straight towards the blonde woman. "Call your friends, we're all going out somewhere. Is there any good karaoke place around? I wanna hear you sing again."  
As if summoned by the man's mention, Lucy heard her phone sound off the special ringtone she'd set for Natsu, a song that had reminded her of his fiery personality, and nodded at the blonde drummer before she took a step back to take the call, her whole body relaxing as soon as she heard her boyfriend's voice on the other end. She told him where she was, explained shortly the events of her day, and they agreed that they'd all meet at the same karaoke bar where they'd sung the songs that had led to their first night together. They parted with a gentle "I love you" that had Lucy's heart flutter, despite how many times she heard it, and when she hung up the call she saw that Ritsuka and Mafuyu were back, hand in hand as they watched her along with the other two boys, waiting for her to finish.  
"I can drive you," she said towards the band, letting them grab their things before she left the room with them, this time through the front. Spotting Gajeel still fiddling with the equipment on stage, she paused. "Hey Gajeel," she called out, waiting until the man looked at her to continue, "we're headed towards the karaoke bar. Swing by with Levy once you're done!"  
She didn't wait for the man to respond, not needing the confirmation that he'd be there as soon as possible since he never passed up a chance to hear her sing, and continued to lead the four boys towards Natsu's car. It should've been awkward, giving a lift to four people she barely knew, but after baring her heart out in the open earlier, this felt almost normal. Mafuyu had chosen to sit next to her on the passenger seat, the other three band members sitting on the back, and Lucy heard him hum a melody that she didn't recognize under his breath, despite the music playing lowly from her radio; she was sure that he had a song he wanted to write in mind, then and there.  
Once they reached the bar, she led them inside and to the table she usually shared with her friends, finding Natsu already there with Gray and Juvia. She couldn't help but walk a little faster when she spotted his pink hair, her lips tingling with the need to kiss him and be by his side; it seemed her body had grown used to being with him for most of her time, and it was aching to reclaim its place there.  
"Hey everyone," she said as she reached the table, holding herself back from launching towards her boyfriend's lap to kiss and hold him, and instead pointed at the people she'd brought with her. "Not sure if you remember, but these are the guys who won the battle of the bands," she introduced them, going around to say each of their names so they could greet each other properly, before she finally allowed herself to indulge in her wants.  
Lucy tried not to make it obvious, but she knew Natsu realized how badly she'd wanted to kiss him just by the desperate look in her eyes whenever she glanced at him. She moved around the table until she found the open spot on the booth by his side, but before she could allow herself to fall down onto it, she felt his strong arms on her waist, pulling her to sit on his lap instead, and let out a small yelp. She didn't really mind, though, and relaxed in his grip as he wrapped his arms around her from behind, his chin resting on her right shoulder as she leaned her head back, finally feeling complete.  
"Missed me, huh?" He teased with a grin, and Lucy scoffed but turned her head to face him anyway, eyes betraying her attempt at dismissal as they burned brightly with warmth. "Missed ya too, Luce," he whispered to her, leaning just slightly so he could ghost his lips over hers, not really kissing her but being close enough that their breaths mingled between them. "You've spoiled me, being so long without you sucks," he mumbled and before she could reply, joined their lips in a kiss that had Lucy's head spinning from how wonderful it made her feel.  
When the two pulled away from each other, Lucy's face was slightly flushed, her eyes slightly dazed as she stared at her lover, but she couldn't revel in it for too long, as she heard Gray groan from their left. She looked at the man with a squint, glaring at him before she poked out her tongue at him, grinning when Natsu snorted in laughter underneath her. She looked at the band she'd brought with her then, and found Mafuyu looking at her and Natsu in wonder, before he leaned into Ritsuka's side and looked up at him; the movement had the guitarist blushing as he wrapped his arm around the shorter one's shoulder, and Lucy couldn't help but smile. It was good to see them relishing each other's company so freely.  
"Anyway, Luce," Natsu called, and Lucy turned her gaze back to him as she adjusted herself on his lap to make herself more comfortable, and also because she loved that he couldn't hold back a gasp when she did so. Uh, you singing tonight right?" He continued after taking a moment to compose himself, sending her a dirty look as he realized she'd done that on purpose. "I mean, these guys won the battle of the bands and all, so you gotta show them we won't lose next time," he explained, and Lucy stopped for a second.  
Was Natsu assuming she was to help them again, if there was another contest? Or was he simply assuming she was a part of the band already? Despite how many times they'd performed together, and with the fact she'd been on their video online, they'd never discussed whether or not she was part of The Fairies or if she was just helping. She figured right now wasn't the right place, however, and chuckled simply at his words.  
"I'm singing, but not because of that," she chastised him, poking his cheek gently. She giggled as he pouted slightly, endeared by the look on his face. "They wanted to hear me sing anyway," she stated, glancing at Akihiko, who nodded with a grin, before she looked back at Natsu, slightly more serious. "Besides," she got a little quieter then, "it's almost Anna's... you know. I'd like to sing something for her tonight."  
Lucy felt the way Natsu's arms tightened slightly around her and wished she hadn't said a thing. They were out to have a good time, but the gnawing feeling in her heart that she had harbored ever since she'd heard Mafuyu sing so sadly about his own loss had been killing her. Despite her smiles, and her love for Natsu, she had been feeling it attempt to crawl its way outside of her, up her throat, for a while now. Like she'd told Ritsuka earlier, grief never really went away; some days it was easier to cope with it than others, but often Lucy found that if she sang what she was feeling, it was a lot easier to handle it.  
"Of course," Natsu responded in a tone matching hers, and Lucy closed her eyes as she felt him bury his face in the crook of her neck. She knew he meant only to hide his expression from the strangers around them, and rested her hand upon his over her torso, fingers tangling with his. "Any idea what you wanna sing? I can run home and grab my guitar if you want," he offered, eyes peering over her shoulder as he lifted his head slightly.  
"No, it's fine, there's a song on the list I've been wanting to do for a while," she said in reply, once again turning her head to face him, but this time kissing his forehead gently. "Besides, if you run home, where am I gonna sit?" She lightened the mood with her question, the conversation breaking into easier topics as Gajeel and Levy arrived a few moments later.  
Lucy did her best to include the boys she'd brought with her in conversation, the only one still keeping fairly quiet being Mafuyu, but she had expected nothing less. He seemed to be quiet by nature, but despite not saying much she could tell he was listening attentively to the conversations around him and taking in the information provided to him with care. When it came time to choose the songs to sing, Lucy wrote down only one before she passed the book with the list off to someone else, trying not to let the choice wear her down before she even began singing.  
“Alright, alright, alright!” As the background music died down, giving way to the DJ’s booming voice through the microphone, the conversation at the table died as well, all attentive to who the man was about to call out, in any case it’s any of them. “We’ve got a few new faces here,” the man said in an interested tone, “even a few famous ones! But we’re going to stick to our own, so, Lucy, would you grace the stage with your presence?”  
Lucy felt her heart race inside her chest at the call of her name, a feeling she was rather familiar with. When it became too overbearing, she knew she’d end up with a panic attack, but smiled anyway as Natsu stopped her from walking away from the table to place a kiss on her palm, squeezing her hand in his with worried eyes before he let her go. She walked with as much confidence as she could muster to the small stage at the bar, taking the microphone offered to her with a small bow in thanks.  
She took a deep breath as she heard the beginning notes of the song, eyes closing as she let the lull of the electric guitar guide her spirit, leading her soul adrift, somewhere closer to where her sister was. She lifted the microphone to her lips as she travelled to a place somewhere far away, images of her sister flashing through her mind as she began to sing.  
“ _[‘Goodbye, thank you,’ I say with all my heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DxL6IKmXx4) \- something more important than sadness. I want to say it to your departing back, so I can make it time for the warmth and the pain._” Her voice was soft and gentle as she sang the opening lines, the ache in her heart heard over the tone she was using. The Japanese words rolled out of her lips with ease, and she wasn’t sure just how many people could really understand what she was singing, but knew they’d understand simply from how she sang it.  
“ _I thought things would continue like always; I was already picturing the tomorrow we would have... The light we were calling for, it is still burning inside our hearts..._ ” She opened her eyes and faced forward as the song carried into the chorus, her brown eyes already swimming with tears that blurred her vision. “We met during this blazing journey, for the future that we held our hands and let go for...” She looked at the table where her friends were sitting, and for a moment she stared as she saw her sister there, smiling in that proud expression she always wore whenever Lucy told her about something new she’d written. “ _Whenever a dream of mine does come true, I will always remember you... I cried and wished to become so much stronger - I will dedicate this resolve to you..._ ”  
As the chorus ended and the instrumental took place once again, Lucy blinked some of her tears away, and with them gone, so was the image of her sister. She could see Natsu’s concerned expression as he stared at her, and let the image of his face give her some strength to move forward, her feet carrying her down from the stage, but only a step.  
“ _I become trapped in the nostalgia, and I cry out to this cruel world,_ ” she sang, hand moving to hold the pendant she wore over her chest. The small key was just a trinket, she knew, but her sister had given it to her with such a pleased expression on her face, Lucy treasured it more than some more expensive pieces of jewelry she already owned. “ _As I grow up, this feeling builds even more... I don’t want to lose anything anymore,_ ” she continued to sing, eyes moving away from her boyfriend’s face and flickering over her friends’ faces instead; even the boys she’d brought along on a whim stared at her as if they were hurting alongside her.  
“ _If I get swept away in sadness and end up falling, I might not have to feel this pain any longer... But your words... And Your wish... I promised to protect them until the end!_ ” Her voice was louder than as she vocalized the melody that followed, almost as if she was desperately letting out loud cries, which wasn’t too far from the truth. As she began singing the words again, her voice sounded even more pained. “ _It all crumbles down, so very loud... The one and only, our precious world.._.”  
There was another instrumental pause in the song, albeit short, but Lucy took a deep breath through that, feeling the air travel through her lungs and all over her body. While before she’d been singing the melody in a soft voice, hitting all the high notes with her head voice so they wouldn’t sound too out of place against the beautiful sound of the violin amidst the guitars and drums of the song, now she let it go freely, her voice carrying all the emotions in her chest, the last chorus loud and almost like a scream.  
“ _The bundle of bright light that I reached for and held so close to me... For the future that shined, and then faded away! I will overcome the promise we made and the happiness entrusted upon me - I will keep moving without turning back! I will only look forward and shout!_ ” At this point, Lucy’s voice changed into that gentle singing from before, almost a broken whisper in contrast to her previous tone. “ _With the flames that burn still deep within my heart, until the distant future... Yeah... Ah, oh..._ ”  
As the song faded out, Lucy felt a pain in her chest that reminded her too much of when she watched her sister’s life fade out of her. She’d visited her in the hospital a few times, not many because she hadn’t been able, mentally or physically, to travel to see her often, but during one of those visits, Anna had passed away with a peaceful smile on her lips. While the woman hadn’t struggled, Lucy had went into a frenzy, begging her to wake up over and over, pleading with the woman to not leave her, but it had been to no avail. She’d been sedated by a nurse when she wouldn’t let them wheel her sister away, and when she’d woken up, she’d made the travel back to Crocus in silence, unable to make herself go to Magnolia to attend her sister’s funeral.  
Seeing the image in her head hurt, and Lucy seemed to lose sense of where she was for a moment. She heard the distant sound of the microphone she was holding hitting the ground, and before she realized she was already on her knees, her heart drumming loudly in her ears and drowning out the sounds around her. She didn’t notice the DJ call out to her in surprise, and didn’t see the way Natsu jumped as fast as he could from his seat to run to her, worry etched deep into his expression; she didn’t see the surprised eyes of the boys from given, who were looking on as she had a breakdown, nor did she hear Gray curse as he held Juvia, who was crying by his side.  
All Lucy could see was Anna, fragile and weak, voice sounding so different from how it usually did, telling Lucy to please, for her, live on and be happy. She could only hear her sister’s voice telling her she would be okay, that she would be watching over her with their parents, and that she had been happy. She could only feel the attempt at a squeeze of her hand as the light in Anna’s brown eyes faded out, a drawn-out sigh passing her lips almost as if her soul was within it, and finally making its escape to somewhere else. She didn’t feel Natsu’s arms pick her up, bridal style, carrying her with long steps until they were outside, nor did she feel the rain softly pattering down the both of them as he stopped.  
“Luce,” the man was calling, again and again, but she couldn’t hear it over the sound of her sister’s voice. One moment, Anna’s voice was weak and broken, and the next she was singing with a smile, harmonizing with Lucy and making the younger feel something more towards music than she’d ever imagined she would. “Luce, don’t leave me.” She heard that, but in her mind it was Anna who said it, hand outstretched. “You’ve been doing so good, Luce... Don’t leave me now, I’m right here,” the voice continued, but it was no longer Anna’s.  
As Lucy’s senses began to clear, she noticed the wetness of the rain against her face first. It fell in large drops, rolling down her cheeks, sticking to her skin. She thought, for a moment, that it was odd how she couldn’t feel rain anywhere else, but as she opened her eyes she understood - that hadn’t been rain at all, but tears. They weren’t her own tears, although she could tell she was crying as well from how blurry her vision was; no, they belonged to the man still holding her close to his chest with strong arms, keeping her warm even though there was a slight breeze lifting around them. His forehead was gentle against hers as he curled over her, and she heard the soft sniffles as he tried to make as little sound as possible.  
“Natsu...”  
She said his name in a whisper, trying to make sense of how they’d ended up like this. She remembered the singing, and being suddenly assaulted with memories of her sister, but couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out what had happened to her body when she’d been so lost within those same memories. This hadn’t happened before, not like this, but Lucy was sure it had been another panic attack. She hadn’t had one in a long time, especially not one that hit this hard, so she understood why the man would cry. Was he disappointed? Had he thought she was all fixed?  
“Luce,” the pink-haired man whispered back, and Lucy found herself completely wrapped in his arms before long as he held her as close as possible. The hug was a little awkward like this, with Lucy half-laying on his lap as he sat against a wall, but she did her best to hold back onto him, trying to reassure him that she was there, in that moment; that she was still with him. “Luce, I love you so much,” he continued to whisper into her ear, but the words didn’t carry the usual love that she was used to hearing; they sounded desperate, almost. “I’m sorry, I should’ve realized this would happen and stopped it, I...”  
“Natsu,” she interrupted quickly, clearing her throat as she pulled back slightly, just so she could look at his face. It broke her to see him so torn apart, his eyes shining bright against the light of the moon over them both, tears glistening as he tried to contain them. “It’s not your fault,” she continued, lifting her hand to hold his cheek, her chest filling with a gentle warmth as he leaned into it. “I... I’ve been on the verge all day, I should’ve said something but didn’t, I knew it would come to this but I wanted to try and ignore it, see if the feeling went away,” she confessed, her thumb pressing into her boyfriend’s lips before he could speak. “It’s not your fault, stop it... but I love you too.”  
Although the breeze was becoming colder around them, and the rain was threatening to fall once more and drench them, the two didn’t move for a while. The minutes ticked on as they held each other, sweet nothings exchanged in whispers as Lucy’s heart began to untangle itself, until it could beat easily once again. Once she felt that her heartbeat was back to normal, she sniffled the last of her tears away and lifted her head to replace her thumb over Natsu’s lips, pressing into them in a grateful kiss that was interrupted as she heard footsteps approaching.  
“Lucy-sama,” a gentle voice called, pulling Lucy and Natsu apart with the interruption. The blonde woman looked around to find the source, seeing Mafuyu stand there alone, a slight pained expression on his face as he looked at her. “We have to get going, but... thank you,” the boy continued, and took the few steps closer to her, extending his hand towards hers and holding it gently. “You helped a lot, today... more than you know. Thank you. Please, come see another one of our concerts sometimes. I’ll sing a happy love song next time.”  
Lucy couldn’t help the twitch of her lips as they formed a smile, turning her hand so that she could squeeze the other singer’s paler one as she nodded.  
“I’ll look forward to that,” she replied, glancing at Natsu, who was silently watching the exchange. “Say goodbye to Ritsuka and the others for me, will you?” She released his hand, watching him stand up and begin to walk away after he nodded. He took only a few steps, however. “Oh, Mafuyu!” She called out, and he stopped, turning to look at the woman. “Tell him how you feel. He’ll understand. He loves you very much,” she stated, watching the boy nod once more before he left.  
She turned her eyes to Natsu once more as soon as Mafuyu was out of sight, her brown eyes taking in his features as though she’d never seen them before. He looked different under the moonlight, almost like a God who’d graced Earth with its presence, and she wanted to memorize the way each of his eyelashes was heavy with water and framed the dark orb nestled within his green eyes so perfectly. She traced a finger over a scar on his right cheek with a ghost-like touch, and wanted to record the way he shuddered and his eyes closed automatically at the sensation. She wished she could keep a tape of this moment, of how Natsu’s darker skin was such a contrast against the paleness of her own, how his hair looked so adorable, wet and sticking to his face like it was meant to be there all along, and not flying wild like he usually had it.  
“I really do love you a lot,” she whispered to break the silence, and as Natsu’s eyes opened, she saw the flicker of love in them that had been drowned out by his desperate concern, earlier. It fueled the fire inside her heart to grow larger, engulfing her entire soul as she leaned forward to kiss him again, this time with such intensity they hard to break the kiss faster than expected, both out of breath. “I love you so much, I never wanna see another day without you. I don’t wanna wake up without you by my side, don’t wanna go to sleep if you won’t be there. And it’s so scary, because some days I’m so scared you’re gonna leave, one way or another, and it terrifies me... I don’t ever wanna lose you.”  
“You won’t, Luce,” the man whispered back, his own hand moving to cradle Lucy’s cheek, thumb caressing the soft, wet skin there, almost reverently. “I’ll never leave your side. You’re my everything, how could I ever leave you? I’ll fight to my last breath if someone tries to take me away from you,” he continued, his forehead resting against hers once again. “You’re a beautiful, smart princess, and I’m a greedy dragon who’s never gonna let her go. You’re not getting rid of me. I meant what I said at the wedding. I’m gonna marry you someday.”  
“Can’t wait for that day,” she mumbled with a soft smile, closing her eyes as she imagined what that would be like. Her life was already so intertwined with Natsu’s, it didn’t feel like much of a stretch to take that step.  
“Hm.” There was a brief moment of silence, and as Lucy heard raindrops begin to fall over and around them, she parted her lips to tell Natsu that they should head home, but before she could, the man was speaking again. “In that case... marry me,” he said, so seriously that Lucy had no doubt he wasn’t joking around. “Why should we have to wait until it’s the right time, or whatever? Why would we have to move to other people’s timing? I love you, I wanna be with you, I don’t see what’s the big deal... Marry me, Luce. I don’t have a ring or anything right now, but...”  
“Yes.”


	11. Bury Me

“Wh- wait you mean that?”  
That had been Natsu’s response when Lucy had said the simple word, and it had made the woman laugh so hard tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. She hadn’t been sure, in that moment, whether they had been emotional tears from that particular moment, or remains of the ones she’d cried earlier, but she didn’t mind either way. The look of surprise on Natsu’s face had been so open, so unexpected, she hadn’t been able to stop laughing for minutes, not until he’d kissed her hard to shut her up.  
After that, they’d finally - finally - moved from their spot under the gently pouring rain, and walked home together, hands held tight. Lucy felt light, as if she was walking on air, and despite the earlier panic attack, she felt strong by Natsu’s side. He always had a way about him, a certain pull that made her feel as if she could conquer anything in the world; as if she was strong enough to do anything she set her mind to. With him by her side, she felt a willingness to find out whether she really could.  
“We’re getting a ring tomorrow,” the man had mumbled as they ascended the stairs to her - their - apartment, and Lucy couldn’t help the squeal that escaped her before she turned to him and kissed him deeply, her tongue tasting the rain on his lips, hands sneaking under his wet shirt that was sticking to his back, pulling him as close to her as possible. “Luce,” he’d whispered, and the simple call of her name sent shivers down her spine. “Luce, let’s go inside first,” he said as he pulled back, a chuckle falling from his lips at the slight pout the woman gave him.  
“Fine,” she huffed, turning away from him and grabbing her keys to unlock her door. As soon as she pushed it open, she felt Natsu’s arms wrap around her as his lips fell to her neck and he walked her inside, shutting the door behind them with a kick. She leaned her head back, content with his touch as his hands travelled under her shirt, fingertips pressing against her skin in gentle strokes. “We should take a bath,” she hummed, a suggestion that her brain had difficulty to work through as she began to lose herself against her lover’s body.  
“Hm, good idea,” the man agreed, and soon the couple found themselves enjoying the warm water around their body as he held her in the large bathtub that was in the apartment.  
It took them some time until they fell asleep, lost in each other, and in their own sensations of pleasure, but when they did, Lucy had pleasant dreams of warm lips on hers and calloused, yet gentle, fingers on her hips. She felt well rested as the morning’s first light creeped in through a small gap in the curtains, and enjoyed the coziness of Natsu’s heat next to her, keeping her tethered to the loving feeling nestled in her heart. She played with the ends of his growing hair, twisting it softly around her fingers, and when he began to stir, his own sleepiness fading away from him, she smiled down at the man she loved.  
“Mm, morning,” she greeted in a whisper, watching as he blinked his eyes open, the corners of them crinkling as he offered her a kind smile. “You sleep well?” She asked, hand moving from his hair to his cheek, thumb caressing the skin there gently. “We’ve gotta finish moving your stuff today.”  
“Mmhm,” he mumbled his reply, head tilting so he could place a gentle kiss on her palm. “We’ll get it done after we go and get your ring,” he said, before he was overtaken by a yawn, his hand going to rub at his eyes so he could wipe the rest of his sleepiness away. “Wanna grab breakfast somewhere? I’m too lazy to cook.”  
“Sounds good,” Lucy replied, a smile on her lips as she leaned down to kiss the corner of her boyfriend’s lips. Although, she thought, he wasn’t really her boyfriend any longer; he was her fiancé now, right? “Let me just get ready. Erza and Jellal are coming back today too, right? Maybe we can get a jamming session into the schedule too,” she suggested, pulling away from the man with a soft groan, stretching her limbs after she’d swung her legs over the side of the bed to stand up.  
“Sounds like a plan,” Natsu responded, and Lucy glanced at him just in time to see him stretch as well, muscles flexing as he did so. She bit her bottom lip to hold herself back from reaching over and touching him, knowing it’d only delay the start to their day, and instead focused on getting up and choosing her outfit for the day ahead.  
She ended up settling on a pair of low-rise blue jeans, paired with a lilac t-shirt that stopped just above her belly button, the air outside seemingly clear from any of the rain that had plagued the town the previous day. She chose a light cardigan to go with it, in any case, but was fairly sure that the fact they’d be moving the last few boxes, and consequently Natsu’s cat, into her apartment and putting everything in its rightful place, would end up making her discard it anyway.  
Once she was dressed and with sneakers on her feet, she pulled her hair into a high ponytail, only leaving her sparse bangs down, framing her face. She’d already made a trip to the bathroom to wash up, so she was all ready to get the day going, and as she finally turned to look at Natsu again, found that he was just as ready. He was wearing a sleeveless black shirt paired with white jeans that Lucy wished didn’t look so good on him. His hair was a mess, but that was nothing new; his hair was perpetually going in all different directions, no matter how many times Lucy had tried to pet it down by now.  
“Alright,” he said, seeing Lucy’s gaze on him and offering her a wide grin. “Let’s go then, we’ve got a busy day ahead.”  
Lucy only had the time to nod once before she was being pulled out of the door by him, their hands intertwined as he began to walk with her towards their favorite spot for breakfast. They talked about work as they ate, about some of the things Natsu had heard the kids say that made Lucy laugh more than was probably acceptable, and about some of the weird books some of Lucy’s customers had gone to the store in search of. They talked about Erza and Jellal’s return from their honeymoon and what song they could play together, to dust off their cadence as a band.  
When they were done with their food, Natsu held Lucy’s hand more gently, in a less hurried state as he walked with her to a jeweler he knew in town. The shop was so inconspicuous that Lucy, despite having passed by it dozens of times before, had never realized it was a store. As soon as they walked in, however, she was full of excitement and wonder as she saw the beautiful jewelry on display, seemingly catering to all types of people. She almost got lost looking at different earrings, but before she could begin to pine after a particular pair, the man beside her tugged on her hand to lead her to a display with plenty of different rings.  
“May I help you choose anything today?”  
The man’s voice was raspy and tainted by his old age, but the kindness in it made Lucy lift her eyes from the display of rings she was looking at to smile at him. Despite the fact she could tell he had been around for a long time, he carried himself with an easiness, as if he couldn’t feel the years on his back. He smiled between the couple, glancing at the display they’d been bent over, and his smile widened slightly.  
“Ah, looking for an engagement ring, perhaps?” The man suggested, and at Lucy’s nervous glance at the pink-haired man beside her, he tutted. “Of course, I should’ve been able to tell, you two are giving off this lovely aura, it’s only natural. If I may, I have a few special editions that I keep safe from wandering hands, if you can wait a few moments I’ll be able to show them to you,” he suggested, and Lucy gave a slight nod despite herself, even as she wondered just how expensive said special edition rings would turn out to be.  
“Natsu,” Lucy whispered as the man retreated into the back of the store. “If they’re that special, I bet they’re gonna cost a fortune. Should we really be looking into those?” She voiced her concern in a low voice, not wanting her words to carry out into the back for the jeweler to hear.  
“Don’t worry Luce,” Natsu replied, leaning over to kiss the woman’s temple through a soft smile. “I’ve had money put aside for this for a while now, if you like the ring then we’re taking it.”  
Lucy could feel her heart skip a beat at the man’s words, the thought that he’d been thinking about their future so seriously making her fall even more in love with him, in that moment. She wanted to grab him and kiss him furiously, full of the passion she felt inside for him, but the jeweler was walking back into the room now, a box with rings placed gently in foam shining brightly under the lights.  
Despite her earlier concerns, the blonde couldn’t help but fall in love at first sight, her brown eyes glistening with a deep desire as she spotted one of the rings. It was a beautiful golden color, purposely matte, so that the red teardrop jewel shone brighter in the middle, one of its sides lined up with a swift line of smaller, white stones. It reminded Lucy of a flame, the way the white stones swirled upwards gently, with the golden bend wrapping gently around all the stones, almost like they were petals of a blossoming rose.  
“Ah, I think the young lady’s made her decision,” the jeweler said, and Lucy forced herself to look up at him, a blush on her cheeks as she wondered just what her expression looked like, and how long she’d been staring longingly at the ring. “Shall we measure it? If it’s not the correct size I’ll have to order a custom-made one, but I have a feeling it will fit,” the man continued, gently removing the ring from the display case and, instead of sliding it on Lucy’s finger like she’d expected, handed it over to Natsu. “Please, do the honors will you?”  
“Gladly.” Natsu’s reply was instant, and before Lucy could realize what was happening, he was holding her hand in his gently, sliding the piece of jewelry over her ring finger in a slow motion, meeting no resistance. Once it was nestled comfortably where it should be, he turned to the shop owner with a grin. “You were right old man, it does fit,” he commented, before facing Lucy once more. “Does that feel okay?”  
“I...” Lucy couldn’t reply, feeling her own emotions choking her up as her vision blurred. The ring seemed almost made purposely for this, to be worn specifically by her. Before she could stop it, the tears were rolling down the sides of her face, and she removed her hand from Natsu’s hold as she covered her expression, not wanting any of the people present to see her cry. “It’s perfect,” she managed to mumble amidst her tears, and when she heard a soft chuckle, she peeked at her fiancé through her fingers.  
“Yeah, it is,” Natsu said, both hands holding Lucy’s and pulling them away from her face. She expected him to kiss her, but he placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles instead, right next to where her engagement ring now was, before he turned to the jeweler. “If it’s not obvious already, we’ll take it,” he said, squeezing Lucy’s hands before releasing them. “Luce, I’ll finish up here. Go and call Gray to check if Erza’s back, alright?”  
Lucy nodded through her tears, using one of her now freed hands to swipe at her eyes, bowing towards the shop owner before excusing herself. She walked towards the door, cell phone in hand as she dialed Gray’s number, but stopped just before stepping out. Was it okay to leave the store with the ring in hand before it was paid for? She turned to go back, but stopped as she heard Natsu talking openly with the man behind the counter.  
“So the other ring you bought, did you end up selling it?” The man asked, his previous demeanor gone as he relaxed. Lucy raised an eyebrow at the change, and at the question, but before she could think too hard on it, she heard Natsu’s answer.  
“She took it with her,” the pink-haired male answered, and Lucy felt like maybe she shouldn’t be listening, but her heart wouldn’t stop wanting to know more, her brain already working overtime to try and make sense exactly of what was being discussed. “I know it won’t do much underground, but I meant it when I gave it to her, it belongs with her.”  
Lucy felt stuck in place, trying to understand exactly what the two men were talking about. She tried to remain calm, tried to find a reasonable explanation for that type of conversation, but nothing inside her head was the least bit logical, in that moment. She blinked a few times, seeing Gray’s number still dialed on her screen, and, in order to escape the hell that was unfolding inside her chest, hit the call button and stepped outside quietly.  
The man’s voice on the other hand was the distraction Lucy needed in that moment, and as she talked casually to him, learning that Erza and Jellal would still take about two hours to arrive in Magnolia, she allowed the conversation she’d overheard to slip out of her mind. It could mean a lot of things, after all, and even if Natsu had given the ring to a girl before, that was his past; just like Lucy had an history with Loke, Natsu was sure to have had someone he loved, before. She knew that, and understood it; still, there was a nagging pang in her chest that squeezed the air out of her lungs for a brief moment, as if she was refusing to see that this all meant something more.  
Before she could give into that sharp stabbing pain, however, she felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped in surprise, her cell phone almost dropping to the floor as she lost her grip on it.  
“Woah there Luce, you’re skittish today,” Natsu said with a laugh, handing the device back to her.  
Lucy raised the phone back to her ear to bid her farewell to Gray, putting it back in her purse right after so it didn’t fall to the ground and break, and only after that did she dare look at her fiancé. For a moment, they were silent as her eyes searched his expression for something, but she wasn’t sure what exactly, so she let her gaze soften and lips mold into a smile as she gave a small nod.  
“Sorry, was lost in my own head,” she admitted, her hand covering Natsu’s, which was still placed on her shoulder. “Let’s go, we need to finish moving your things, Erza and Jellal will be back in a couple of hours and I agreed we’d all meet at Gray’s place for a jamming session, so you guys can dust off your instruments,” she stated.  
Lucy didn’t flinch or pull away when Natsu held her hand and his finger ran over the band of her ring, but her heart squeezed once again inside her chest at the thought this wasn’t the first time he’d given a girl a ring. She wondered, as they walked back to her place, about what could’ve happened; if he’d asked some girl to marry him and been rejected; if they’d broken up before getting married, or if maybe he’d gone through a divorce before she’d even met him. The thoughts flew inside her head as the two set about moving the last of Natsu’s things and putting them in their correct place, and before long, Lucy realized they were walking towards Gray’s house.  
They’d taken a little longer than expected, because Lucy couldn’t quite focus but was doing her best to act as if nothing was wrong, and because Natsu’s cat had needed some time to conform to his new home. In the end, they were about half an hour late, and Lucy’s head was even messier than before, but she did her best to put it all aside, choosing to focus on her excitement to see her friends again.  
Once they arrived at Gray’s house, which he’d left unlocked expecting their arrival, they headed straight to the basement, where all the rest of the members of the band, plus Juvia sitting in a small couch watching them, were already playing an instrumental song. They stopped playing as the couple arrived, and Lucy lost herself in Erza’s strong arms as she hugged her tightly, choosing to give a simple wave to Jellal instead.  
“Woah!” It was Jellal who noticed the ring first, eyes widening as he spotted the jewelry on Lucy’s finger. “Is that- what the hell happened while we were gone?”  
Lucy and Natsu explained how their engagement came to be as best as they could; interrupted many times by Gray, who added sarcastic comments very often, they managed to relay to the others how they’d gotten to this point, and Lucy was embraced again, this time even Jellal opting for a gentle hug, as they were congratulated. She didn’t miss, however, how Erza and Gray seemed to pull Natsu aside and out of hearing reach, their expressions serious as they discussed something with the man. She could tell there was a scowl on Erza’s face, but before she could think deeper into it, all three of them were smiling wide as they rejoined the group.  
Once again, the pang Lucy had felt since she’d overheard the conversation at the jewelry store made itself known, and she had to take a moment to reorganize her thoughts and block out any unwanted ones. Her smile didn’t falter but she had to force it a little, making the conscious decision to not be one of those girls that was jealous of her lover’s past relationships; she didn’t want to be possessive like that, didn’t want to turn into one of those crazy girlfriends she’d read about.  
“Alright, can we play something now?” Gray asked tediously, arms crossed over his chest before he looked at Lucy. “You singing, right?”  
“I don’t see why not,” the blonde shrugged a shoulder, her smile becoming real. Yes, singing would probably help unravel her emotions and smooth whatever turmoil was boiling inside her chest. “Any idea what you wanna play?”  
“Oh, I’ve got one!” It was Jellal who made the suggestion, and after Lucy had confirmed that she knew the song, he set about setting up their instruments, and placing a camera in front of them. “Might as well record this, it might not be the best quality but I guess it’s better than nothing, since we haven’t posted anything in a while.”  
Lucy felt a little nervous to be a part of another video for the band, painfully aware that she wasn’t really a part of it despite how often she sang with them, but agreed nonetheless, glad that she’d fixed her outfit and make up before coming to meet up with her friends. She held onto the microphone on its stand, eyes on the ceiling as she waited for the song to begin, which it did after Juvia signaled she’d begun recording.  
“[ _Oh, oh,_ ” the group of friends sang together](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsTx39gDALc) as Natsu picked at the strings on his guitar, Jellal joining with his bass, before it was Lucy, Gray and Erza’s turn to join on their respective instruments, which in Lucy’s case was her voice. “ _In an endless spiral, I’m down too far to know where I belong, again... Lost in my denial, I become a ghost to everything I’ve done, again..._ ” There was a short break, where Natsu added some backing vocals like he’d done in the beginning, and then it was Lucy’s voice that was heard once again.  
“ _Now I feel so hollow, and it’s all my fault just tell me where to go from here!_ ” She looked straight at the camera, her emotions on her face clear as day, as she moved on to the bridge. “ _If only I could see myself like you see me, then maybe I could finally be the one I need to be!_ ” She removed the microphone from its stand, bending over slightly as she began the chorus, voice loud and resonating. “ _Bury me! Six feet under, till I wake up! Bury me, ‘cause I can’t live, no, I can’t live like this!_ ” Natsu began singing the backing vocals again, and Lucy glanced at him for a moment, but chose to walk over to Jellal as he played the bass instead. “ _Even though my heart’s still beating! Even though my heart’s still beating, no, I’m only dreaming!_ ”  
There was an instrumental break in the song then, and Lucy headbanged beside the bassist, enjoying the thrill of the performance as it coursed through her. She always felt like this when she sang, almost as if she was free from any chains that held her down, and it wasn’t until after she was done that her expressed emotions, and sometimes embarrassment, decided to crash down upon her.  
“ _Can I break the cycle? ‘Cause I’m sick of feeling I’m against the world, again..._ ” She turned to Natsu then, a faint smile on her lips as she walked over to him, her hand resting on his shoulder as he looked back at her with a love struck expression, her ring shining against the lightning in the basement. “ _If only I could love myself like you love me, then maybe I could finally be the one I need to be!_ ” She squeezed his shoulder gently before she pulled away, her back hitting Gray’s as she sang the chorus while he played the guitar behind her. “ _Bury me! Six feet under, till I wake up! Bury me, ‘cause I can’t live, no, I can’t live like this... Even though my heart’s still beating! Even though my heart’s beating, no, I’m only dreaming!_ ”  
Lucy pushed away from Gray as he went to play beside Jellal, and turned to face the camera again, hand reaching out to it as if she was hoping to grasp something from it. She remembered, in that moment, the feeling she’d been getting since that morning that there was something about Natsu giving another girl a ring that didn’t feel right, and her step faltered for a moment.  
“ _The further that I get, the more I think I’m blinded by regret, and this is- now I’m thinking that it’s in his past, but I can’t take it,_ ” she sang. The words stung as they left her lips, but she couldn’t stop singing, afraid she’d collapse like she had the night before, when she’d sung at the karaoke bar. “ _Why am I still running from myself? When this is all that’s left of me?_ ” Although the last line should’ve been screamed, Lucy sang through it instead, adapting the melody to her own range and allowing her to show off how good of a vocalist she was.  
The words left her tired, however, and she ended up holding onto the microphone stand for support, using the break in her vocals to place the microphone back on it, securing it before she closed her eyes, swaying side to side to the rhythm of Natsu’s guitar before she held out her arms wide open, singing the next lines with her eyes still shut, allowing the darkness to take over the thoughts in her brain.  
“ _Can I break the cycle? ‘Cause I’m sick of always feeling like it’s me against the world!_ ” As everything stopped, Lucy felt the next chorus hit her like a train, and she imagined that the barricade in her mind broke at that, her heart increasing its speed as it began pondering on what she’d heard before, once again; what the conversation between Natsu, Erza and Gray after they’d explained their engagement had been about. “ _Bury me! Six feet under, till I wake up! Bury me, ‘cause I can’t live, no I can’t live like this! Even though my heart’s still beating... Even though my heart’s still beating, no, I’m only dreaming!_ ” She held out her note for a few seconds, adding a softer repetition of those last three words right after, before she stepped back from the microphone, head falling as she faced the ground, breathing heavily.  
Her heart continued to pound in her chest, even when the song was over, and she could feel a migraine coming from the many what if’s that were doing laps around her brain. She closed her eyes for a moment to battle through it, only opening them again once she heard Natsu’s voice whispered in her ear, and realized he was standing beside her, hand on her shoulder as he looked at her worriedly.  
“I think I’m coming down with something,” she mumbled, and it wasn’t so much a lie as she thought; she did feel a little worse for wear than she should, and wondered if standing under the rain the day before was the reason why. “I feel a headache coming, I’ll head back home, sorry,” she continued, eyebrows furrowed as if that’d help keep the pain at bay.  
Lucy managed to convince Natsu to stay a while longer and continue to enjoy himself, and after apologizing to Erza and Jellal for not spending a longer time with them, despite their recent return to the town, she walked home, hoping she’d be able to find some medicine that’d heal her from this affliction soon enough. She almost jumped in surprise when she felt something rub against her ankles as soon as she got home, but after remembering that Natsu’s cat, Happy, had already moved in with them already, she relaxed, crouching down to pet its head affectionately before she set off in her search for painkillers.  
She found them quickly, and after taking just enough to help, she walked to the bedroom, with all intentions to nap until she could no longer feel any pain. When she reached it, however, she found a small box that her and Natsu had left unopened besides the bed, and figured that, since she wouldn’t be able to sleep until the pill took effect, anyway, she might as well finish their work. The box was small, so she figured it wouldn’t take too long to put away, and as she placed it on her lap and opened it, she didn’t hesitate to pick up the single item it contained - a photo album.  
Now, some people might consider it a breach of privacy, but the thought didn’t even cross Lucy’s mind as she put the box aside and flipped the book open, a small smile on her lips as she expected to see photographs of a younger Natsu inside, hopefully some in compromising getups that she could tease him for, later. She did find many of those, different outfits and situations that she’d use to poke fun at him whenever she felt he’d deserved it, and so she continued even as she saw him grow older inside.  
She flipped through many pages before she froze, eyes narrowing as she began to wonder when it had been that he’d captured that photograph of them kissing. His hair looked a little shorter, as did hers, and the sun was shining as they smiled into each other’s lips, and Lucy’s face seemed unusually slimmer, and-  
Lucy swore her heart stopped beating for a second.  
That wasn’t her, she could tell. She looked younger, and unlike herself, and Lucy had a terrible feeling growing in her chest, even before she read the caption. “She said yes,” it read, and it was dated back to before Lucy had even known of Natsu’s existence. Her hand trembled as she touched the page, and she flipped it over slowly, a gasp caught in her throat as she saw a picture of Natsu and Anna, heads leaning against one another as they smiled, Anna’s left hand held up as a silver ring adorned her fourth finger.  
Lucy should’ve stopped then, she should’ve closed the album and gone to sleep, her headache finally subdued, but instead she continued to look through different pictures of Natsu and Anna as they documented their relationship, pictures of Anna in a wedding dress that Lucy guessed she’d never gotten to wear as she never found photos of their wedding; instead, she found a photograph of a teary-eyed couple at the hospital, Anna looking fragile as she attempted a smile for the last picture she ever took with someone.  
Lucy wasn’t sure how long she sat there, staring down at that last picture as if it was about to come to life and snatch her heart away from her chest. She’d welcome it, she thought, since then it would mean it’d stop hurting that much. It must’ve been a long time since she’d gotten home, however, because she heard the front door open and close, and the sound of Natsu placing down his guitar bag by the entrance, before he walked quietly to the bedroom, possibly thinking that Lucy was asleep. She heard him open the door, but didn’t look up; she wasn’t sure how to face him.  
“Oh, Luce, you’re...” He never finished his sentence, and Lucy, despite still staring at the picture, knew that he’d spotted the open book in her lap. “You... I can explain, I swear,” he tried, taking a step into the room, and that was enough to spring Lucy into action.  
She closed the photo album with more force than necessary, but put it aside softly before she stood up. Where there had been a stabbing feeling all through the day, she felt a void; where there had been tears forming, there was nothing. She looked up at the pink-haired man with an impassive expression, which she figured was scarier than an actual hurt expression as she noticed Natsu’s face contort in pain.  
“It’s okay,” she spoke, and her own voice sounded strange to her ears, deprived of any emotions. “I’m a replacement, it’s okay,” she stated, and realized that she knew, now, exactly how Ritsuka felt whenever he sang his songs to his ex-boyfriend. She’d have to call him later to let him know she understood, after all. “You don’t have to explain,” Lucy pressed on, and before she allowed Natsu to speak, she turned her back on the man, heading towards their now-shared closet and grabbing her traveling luggage, opening the bag on the bed and then beginning to throw clothes into it. “I had decided maybe I could pretend to be Anna when I first came here, it was foolish that I thought I’d be anything but a replacement for her, in the end. I took over her job, her friend circle, her apartment... I can’t be surprised now.”  
“Luce, no, you’ve got it all wrong-”  
“You were engaged to her, even!” Her voice became loud, suddenly, and as the smoke of anger began to sink into her lungs, she began to shove her clothes into her luggage faster. “I came here and I looked like her, and I sang for the band, I took her job, took her friends, took her kids at Fairy Tail, took her apartment and her bed and her piano,” she continued, her lips moving fast and sniping like a gun with each pointed word she said, “I took you, and I replaced her. But I’m not Anna!” She yelled the last part, shutting the luggage down as soon as it was full, zipping it closed. “I’m not Anna, and it’s about time we both stop pretending that I am,” she whispered the last words, head hanging low as she took a deep breath, before she picked up her heavy baggage.  
“I don’t want you to be her, Luce, you gotta believe me...” There was desperation in Natsu’s voice, and Lucy wanted desperately to believe him, but she couldn’t. Now, she understood why Erza and Gray had pulled him aside earlier that afternoon, why they’d looked both concerned and upset at the news that the man was engaged to Lucy. They must’ve wanted it to be Anna instead, as well.  
“Stop deceiving us both,” the blonde said after a few seconds, turning to face him at last. “There’s no reason for that anymore. I should’ve realized earlier that there was no way you’d ever fall in love with me that fast. It never made sense, and I was just too blind to see it.” She began dragging the luggage behind her as she stepped towards the door, stopped only when Natsu reached his hand out to her wrist. “Let me go. I know you can’t let Anna go, but let me, Lucy, go,” she begged, and sighed shakily when Natsu released his hold on her wrist. “Thank you. I’ll arrange to change the apartment to your name. I’ll send someone to pick up my things sometime.”  
She didn’t give the man a chance to reply as she continued to walk to the front door, not looking back as she opened it, stepped through, and then closed it. She couldn’t go far with her luggage and with no car, and although she was tempted to get on the earliest train back to Crocus, she knew it wasn’t a smart idea to try and board a train that late. With the sudden realization that she’d never even removed her purse from over her torso, she stopped a few steps into Strawberry street and grabbed her cell phone, texting the one person she could truly feel wouldn’t try to pretend she was someone else in that town.  
She waited right where she was, still within view of her sister’s apartment, until she saw a sleek black car pull up, a familiar head with sandy-brown hair poking through the driver’s window to look worriedly at her. She hadn’t explained anything when she’d texted Loke, had only given him her location and told the man she needed him to pick her up and take her to some hotel nearby; even when she was inside the car, she refused to talk, choosing to stare out the window instead, no matter how many times the man attempted to ask her what had happened.  
Loke ended up taking Lucy back to his own apartment, instead of an hotel, but as she expected to be gone as early as possible the next morning, she didn’t mind much. She kept quiet as she walked into his home, heading straight to the couch so she could curl up on herself and close her eyes to will herself to sleep as soon as possible. She wanted to avoid being awake for much longer, as she didn’t know how to deal with the raging storm inside her, and when she felt a blanket fall upon her, she only nodded in acknowledgment before she forced herself to sleep.  
The days after Lucy left her sister’s apartment seemed to pass by in a blur. Although she’d intended to take a train back to Crocus as soon as she woke up, the day after her break up, Loke had convinced her to stay at his apartment a while longer to discuss what had happened. She ended up telling him what had gone down, starting from the very breakdown at the bar, and the man had listened, not uttering a single word.  
He hadn’t tried to reason with her in the end, hadn’t tried to tell her she was being too dramatic or acting upon an instinct that she shouldn’t be following; instead, he’d offered his couch for as long as she needed, so she could get her affairs in order before she made her move back to where her family lived. She appreciated it, and had taken him up on his offer, calling her editor to let him know that he’d have to commute to Crocus from here on out if he wanted to have in-person meetings about the book, and then calling her boss at the book store to let her know she was quitting and moving away from Magnolia.  
Everything could’ve been settled in that one day, but Lucy had found herself unable to move from her ex-boyfriend’s couch for the days that followed. Despite having no business left to tend to, in this town, she couldn’t find the strength within her to take the last few steps that tied her to this place in order to leave. She worked on her book as much as she could, wanting to get through the final stages of editing as soon as possible, and offered to pay Loke for her expenses many times, with him declining every time. It wasn’t so hard to forget about her heartbreak when he was around to distract her, but when he was off at work, she often found herself staring at a wall, mind wandering over her memories to pinpoint as fake all of the moments that had felt so real to her.  
She half-expected to have her phone blown up with texts and attempted calls, but no one besides Levy had tried to reach her. She understood, of course; she had personally severed their connection to Anna, now, they had no reason to worry about her or keep trying to reach out to her, since she no longer wanted to be the replacement they’d sought. Still, it hurt, no matter how much she told herself she should’ve seen it coming.  
She did end up texting Ritsuka, with whom she’d exchanged contact information before her breakdown at the karaoke bar, and the younger boy had offered a shoulder to lean on if needed, as well as some words of encouragement that Lucy only glossed over. Maybe, with time, she’d reread them and be moved by them, but for now she couldn’t find it in herself to understand their meaning.  
She spent her days like this, editing her own work with more focus than before, and then hallowing in her own misery as much as she could, and time kept moving despite her being stuck in the moment her heart had broken.  
When a week had passed, Loke had, not for the first time, told Lucy she could use the guest room instead of the couch; she’d always refused, but her back had started to pay the price for it so she chose to acquiesce this once, moving her luggage to the spare room. She hadn’t been able to sleep, like she hadn’t for the week before, but at least she could cry without fearing that Loke would walk in at any moment.  
“C’mon, you’ve gotta eat something,” had been Loke’s words that morning, his knuckles rapidly hitting against the wooden door of the guest room. “Don’t make me go in there and force the food down your throat,” he threatened and, upon hearing no reply, Lucy heard him sigh. “Fine, you wanna play like that, we’ll play like that.”  
Lucy hadn’t heard from Loke for hours after that, but she didn’t really mind. She was making the final changes Freed had asked from her, so she was too busy to pay him any mind. As she finished, she sent the final document to her editor and then closed her laptop, putting it aside as she laid back on the comfortable bed that Loke had allowed her to borrow. She figured that, now that she was done, she’d be able to finally move back to Crocus, as there really was nothing else tying her down to Magnolia, but she found herself unwilling to move, eyes drifting closed in exhaustion.  
“Luce.”  
The voice was close, albeit quiet. Lucy had heard her nickname fall from Natsu’s lips so many times, yet it always made something warm light up in her chest. She shouldn’t revel in it, not after knowing how she’d been used as a replacement for her deceased sister, but she couldn’t help herself; she still loved him, so dearly, even if his love for her wasn’t real. She wanted to stay in the darkness forever if she could hear him call for her so tenderly, as if he cared about only her.  
“Luce, come on, you gotta wake up.”  
The voice was insistent, and Lucy wanted to frown; she didn’t want to wake and face the cold, lonely reality once again. She must’ve really frowned at the thought, because she heard the voice chuckle softly.  
“Now I know you’re not sleeping,” he said, and Lucy wanted nothing else than to keep her eyes closed, but found herself opening them instead.  
Natsu’s face showed how tired he was, with dark bags under his eyes and a lackluster look in his irises. Lucy found herself lifting her hand to reach for it, but before she could, her lack of strength had it crashing down onto the bed again - she was too weak to even reach out for him, but she figured, in this case, that was for the best. Despite all the pain she was feeling, she wanted nothing more than to wipe the hurt from his own eyes, and that was a scary thought; she was all but ready to accept being Anna’s replacement, once again, for the sake of Natsu’s happiness.  
“There you are,” he whispered, and Lucy would’ve pushed him away if she could, wanting to put some distance between them. It seemed he understood her desire, but had chosen to defy it instead, his forehead touching hers as he kept his green eyes trained on her brown ones. “I hear you haven’t been eating. I’m sorry, it’s all my fault,” he continued in a low tone, and before Lucy could even try to reply, he was pulling back. “I’ve got food here, and I’m gonna feed to you. I’ll take no complaints. I promised I’d take care of you.”  
Lucy wanted to complain, like he’d expected, but as her stomach grumbled in hunger, she found she couldn’t. She settled for a sigh as she gathered what was left of her strength to sit up on the bed, leaning back against the headboard to keep herself upright, her eyes staring openly at her former lover. His pink hair was, for once, not up and rebellious, as it was weighed down by the fact it was still wet, probably from a shower he’d taken. Lucy watched as Natsu grabbed a spoon and a bowl full of soup, and didn’t miss the way he trembled slightly as he did so.  
“You’re eating too,” she whispered hoarsely, finding her voice after she cleared her throat. She could tell Natsu hadn’t eaten a proper meal in quite some time as well and, despite the hurt he’d caused, couldn’t help but worry. “We’re splitting,” she asserted, gazing into his surprised eyes before they mellowed out to a caring gaze, and the man gave a nod. “Okay.”  
The two shared the food prepared by Loke in silence, only the sound of their chewing and swallowing ringing out throughout the room, and once the food was over, Lucy felt a little better than before. She squeezed her hands into fists and relaxed them a few times, wanting to get the blood circulating, and cast her eyes away from Natsu and into her lap instead, where she watched her ring move with the flexing of her fingers.  
“Luce,” the man called, and Lucy didn’t want to have the conversation that was about to begin, but she had no way out; she was too weak to run away, and too tired to even tell him to leave. “I... I don’t know how to show you I meant every word I said to you when I told you I loved you,” Natsu said, and Lucy’s eyes began to glisten with tears, her hands now permanently curled into fists. “It’s true I loved Anna, it’s true we got engaged, but I never thought... I mean, I never wanted you to be a replacement for her. I know my word’s not worth much, but I just wanted you to know that.”  
Lucy considered his words for a moment, feeling the tears betray her as they began to roll down her skin despite her trying to hold them back. If she were to believe him, things would go back to how they were before - she would be happy with him by her side, with their friends around them, with a bright future ahead. Yet, she knew she’d always have that nagging feeling in the back of her brain that she was just there to fill a place that was meant for someone else, and she wasn’t sure she could live with it.  
“Thank you,” she whispered, and dared a glance up at the man. She could see the hope in his eyes, the pleading curve on his lips as he waited to hear her words. “But I... I can’t go back. Not right now,” she continued, and looked away from the dejected expression she saw manifest on her ex-lover’s face. “I’d only be paranoid, and it’d end up killing me,” she explained, and before she could give it a second thought, she slid the engagement ring from her finger, holding it out in her open palm. “You can have this back. I think it’s best we give this a rest.”  
“I— no.” Lucy looked up at the blatant denial, her eyebrows narrowed slightly as she tried to read Natsu’s expression, but he was looking away from her now. “Keep the ring, it’s yours, not mine,” he said, and Lucy wondered if Anna had tried to give her ring back before she’d died, too; she wondered if these words were just as difficult for Natsu to say, back then. “It’s proof that I love you, and I’ll never take that back. Whether you believe me or not, whether we end up back together one day, I’ll never take back my love.”  
Lucy wanted to sob then, but swallowed the sound back down as she closed her fist around the ring, giving a small nod, even though Natsu couldn’t see.  
“Okay, then,” she said for his benefit, an acknowledgement that she was accepting the fact that she was to keep the ring. “For the record, I love you more than words could ever say,” she reassured him, looking at his face as he turned to face her, his cheeks marred with tears. “It’s killing me to not forget everything and kiss you right now, but it’d only be worse for both of us if I tried to pretend this didn’t hurt,” she continued.  
She stared at him for a few moments of silence, and then gave in to her desire from earlier, hand reaching out to his face, her fingertips smearing the tears that were gathering on his bottom lashes. She couldn’t hold back her small sob then, feeling her heart shatter into even tinier pieces as Natsu closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, his tears spilling over as his body was wrecked with sobs as well.  
“It’s okay, you’ll be okay,” she whispered, both to herself and to him, the pain in her chest multiplying as the man leaned forward to hold her close, all the places where his skin made contact with hers becoming warm, as if he’d lit a fire over her. “We both need time to heal, we shouldn’t rush. Once we’re fully healed, who knows, maybe we’ll find our way to each other again,” she continued to murmur, not sure whether she was saying this so she could hold onto some hope, or just so Natsu would no longer cry.  
They kept holding onto each other, even when there were no more words to speak, the silence around them only broken by their sobs and sniffles as they let their souls bleed out through their eyes. When there were no more tears left to cry, they pulled away slowly, hesitant to break contact but knowing it was needed; they had to break away from each other in order to heal, alone, so that they could hope for a better future once they were stronger.


	12. UNINVITED // STAY

The future Lucy had wanted, one where she was stronger and able to deal with her demons and emotions without losing her footing and crashing in a downward spiral, didn’t come as easy as she had wanted.  
For the first month after breaking up with Natsu had been hell. Despite the fact she knew she’d done the right thing, it wasn’t easy to go back to a life without the pink-haired man in it. She was so used to his presence brightening her mood even on her darkest days, that once she found herself without it, it was like the darkness had only grown as it had waited for the moment to attack, and it had swallowed her whole. She’d spent days on end laying down, only eating whatever food Loke forced down her throat, and didn’t answer any calls from anyone but her editor.  
She’d been tempted to ignore Freed’s calls as well, but after she’d done it twice, she’d gotten a call directly from his boss, Laxus, and had been so terrified by his tone that she hadn’t ignored any other call that pertained to her book. Her sister, Cana, had eventually gotten hold of Loke’s contact, Lucy still wasn’t sure how, and had been keeping an eye on her through the man, passing along the message that she was eating and sleeping, at the very least, to their concerned parents.  
A few days after it had marked a month since the breakup, Lucy received an in-person visit from Freed, and that had forced her to shower and make herself look decent for the first time in so long, she’d forgotten what it was like to feel refreshed and clean. The green-haired man had been apologetic for intruding, but Lucy saw the relief in his eyes and put on her best smile to let him know her focus was on her book release, and nothing else, at that moment. They’d discussed how it would work, and how Laxus had a big plan for her to do a book tour to introduce her first novel to everyone around the kingdom, and that had triggered Lucy’s rise to normalcy.  
Time continued to move as Lucy began to get better, but it wasn’t without help. She had to learn to rely on her family, and ended up making a great friend in Freed, who she spent most of her time with. She learned a lot about the man as he drove her to weekly therapy sessions, a courtesy of her mother, and as he accompanied her all over the kingdom once her book tour started. She learned that him and his boss, Laxus, were married, and that he was an only child; she learned his favorite foods and books, and that he wasn’t very good with people, usually, but Lucy seemed to be the exception.  
As weeks turned into months, Lucy felt her heart begin to heal, little by little. Although she held onto the ring Natsu had given her - hanging it next to the pendant on the necklace her sister had gifted her before her death - she could finally breathe without feeling like her soul was about to be torn apart. The therapy had helped, but it was Uenoyama Ritsuka who had been the biggest help of all, his perspective on the subject of being someone’s replacement being the most reliable of all the advice she’d gotten. She ended up making peace with what had transpired between her and the pink-haired man, and knew that, if they were to get together again, it wouldn’t feel like a dark cloud over them, ready to pour down; the skies were clear, and ready for new adventures.  
Still, Lucy hadn’t made a move to contact Natsu once more. By the time she had been sure that she’d be willing to give their relationship another go, it had been nine long months since they’d broken up, and she had no idea whether he had moved on or not. It would’ve been easy to find out, but she didn’t try; she was a little scared of the answer. Instead, she decided to record a video of her singing to post online, something all on her own this time, despite having to ask for Ritsuka’s help, enlisting him and his band mates to play the instruments she couldn’t (with the proper credits at the end), even if it was out of their usual style.  
The day of the recording, they’d met up in a studio in Crocus and it had been a quick thing to follow through. Since they weren’t going to show up in the video, they’d watched from afar as Lucy recorded that - a black background contrasting the long, flowing white dress that she wore, with only a headlight pointed at her as she sat at the piano and sang, the camera moving around her in slow motion. She recorded herself playing the violin as well in the same manner, and by the time it was over, it didn’t take much work to merge the two recordings together into a simple, yet captivating video.  
The video started with a close up shot of her fingers, tapping gently on the piano keys, before it panned out to include her entire figure as she began to sing, her words pointed.  
“[ _Like anyone would be, I am flattered by your fascination with me,_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOUkq_CtbD4)” she sang the first words as the camera panned into her face, shooting her profile. “ _Like any hot-blooded human, I have simply wanted an object to crave... But you, you’re not allowed, you’re uninvited, an unfortunate sight._ ” As the guitar kicked in, Lucy pulled a small smile to her lips, Mafuyu’s gentle voice joining her as the backing vocals, adding an even eerier sense to the song.  
“ _Must be strangely exciting to watch the stoic squirm,_ ” they sang, the piano’s notes accompanied by Ristuka’s guitar. “ _Must be somewhat heartening to watch shepherd meet shepherd..._ ” The camera continued to move around Lucy, giving different views of her expression, as Mafuyu’s voice stopped and only her continued to sing the chorus. “ _But you, you’re not allowed, you’re uninvited, an unfortunate sight._ ”  
The song picked up rhythm then, the drums and bass kicking in and the image flickering to Lucy, violin tucked under her chin, but not yet playing even though there was a hint of her violin resonating in the background.  
“ _Like any uncharted territory I must seem greatly intriguing._ ” The focus of the video was a close-up of a Lucy’s face now, her eyes staring into the camera, almost as if looking straight into the other side of the screen of whoever watched. “ _You speak of my love like you have experienced love like mine before. But this is not allowed, you’re uninvited, an unfortunate sight!_ ”  
The image flickered once again to the image of Lucy playing the piano, intercepted and ghosted over with the image of her lifting her bow to her violin as the song continued to build up its memento. There were a few shots that flickered of her bow moving over her strings softly, but they were always barely there, and before long only her face was showing up on the screen once more, her voice only accompanied by the piano.  
“ _I don’t think you’re unworthy, I need a moment to deliberate..._ ”  
As her voice began to fade out, and the guitar started once more, Lucy’s face on the screen distorted, and the last minute or so of the video was an image of her playing her violin, her body swaying to the ominous emotions the song was eliciting, her expression hard as she dragged out the last note on her violin and the rest of the instruments faded out. There was a brief moment to show her name and the credits to the band that assisted, and then the video was over.  
She wasn’t sure what it was that Lucy had hoped to accomplish with that, but she felt better after laying her feelings out in the open through that song, and as she received feedback, whether it was positive or negative, she felt the same sense of completion she did when she heard people criticize her book. She’d done very well with it, thankfully, and Laxus and Freed hadn’t spared any compliments when they all learned she’d ended up winning an award for it. The couple didn’t hesitate to organize a party to celebrate her accomplishment, and Lucy had welcomed it despite knowing it would take place in Magnolia, at her high school boyfriend’s restaurant, on the rooftop.  
Lucy hadn’t told anyone, but she had secretly hoped that her sister’s former band would attend. She didn’t ask for it, didn’t even look at the guest list that Freed tried to go over with her, but there was a spark in her heart that wished her ex-boyfriend would be there, along with the rest of their friends. She knew the band had found a singer, had seen it in the videos they’d posted online over time, and had a feeling that the woman, who resembled Mirajane even though her hair was a lot shorter, was her own replacement, especially with the way she always gravitated towards Natsu in their videos. Lucy didn’t want to feel jealous, but did anyway, even though she tucked the feeling away as she really had no right to feel that way anymore.  
Even if Natsu had found someone else that could love him without needing months to heal their own emotions - a depression that still plagued her sometimes, although not as bad - then Lucy would be happy. She felt bad about never talking to any of her other friends again after her breakup, and, if they were to show up, she had just wanted to apologize; they could all move on, then, without nothing holding them back.  
On the day of the event, Lucy had been a bundle of nerves. Freed had arranged a hotel room for her and a car to pick her up, and all she had to do was shower, do her hair and put on the burgundy dress the green-haired man had picked for her. It was a bit flashy, a heart cut over her chest and displaying her cleavage grandly, and a big slit on the side that went up to her hip, a pink bow right above it, the sides of it going all around her. It was a sleeveless dress, and right above her chest the chain with her sister’s pendant and Natsu’s ring shone brightly against her pale skin, hair pulled up into a sideways ponytail that was held together with a beautiful rose that matched the main color of the dress. Her black heels were simple, and her pink purse was just big enough to fit her hotel room key, cell phone and wallet.  
The car Freed had arranged to pick her up arrived right on time, and Lucy made sure she didn’t crinkle her dress or accidentally step on it as she sat in the backseat, her brown eyes taking in the view of the passing buildings as it drove her to the restaurant where her and Natsu had attempted their first date, only to be interrupted by their friends. She chuckled at the memory, her hand moving to caress the ring she couldn’t get rid of, and before she realized it the car came to a stop and the door was open for her to walk out. She accepted the hand that reached out for her to assist her out, the grateful smile on her lips widening into a large grin as she realized who it belonged to.  
“Damn, Bunny girl. I’m kinda disappointed you’re not wearing the bunny pajamas,” the man said, and Lucy grinned as she hugged his strong figure. Gajeel, despite looking scary at first, was as soft as a teddy bear, and didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her in a gentle hug, patting her back. “We missed ya, Bunny girl, glad to see you’re doing good,” he spoke with a caring tone, and Lucy pulled back after a few seconds to offer him a nod.  
“Seems that I am. I’m happy to see you again, Gajeel,” she replied, her hand reaching out to squeeze his bicep as she grinned. “Is Levy here as well? I owe both of you a big apology, but I’d like to reunite first.”  
“Sure she is, she’s inside with the kids, already.” At the look of confusion on Lucy’s face, Gajeel chuckled. “Yeah, we had twins recently, but Levy wouldn’t miss this for the world.”  
The news that her former coworker had become a mother spurred Lucy into motion, with her dragging Gajeel behind her as she headed into the restaurant and towards the elevator that would take them to the rooftop where the party was being held. Lucy was happy to hear that her friends’ lives had continued to move on and progress in their own tracks, and wanted to catch up with Levy as soon as possible, but as soon as she stepped outside of the elevator, an applause interrupted her train of thought.  
Lucy stopped and stared as the people gathered there applauded her arrival with smiles on their faces; some people she knew, like Laxus and Freed, and even Makarov who stood next to them, and others were strangers - possibly other authors, journalists or editors that had come to celebrate her accomplishment. She continued to scan through the crowd, and as soon as she spotted red hair, standing next to a blue head, Lucy felt happiness course through her. She couldn’t help the wide smile as she recognized Erza, Jellal, Gray and Juvia clapping alongside everyone else, smiling right back at her when they noticed she was watching.  
Lucy couldn’t help but notice that Natsu wasn’t with them, despite the fact that their new lead singer was, and a small pang of disappointment made itself known within her chest. She quickly swept it away, however, reasoning that she couldn’t expect him to show up simply because she was selfish enough to wish it; after all, she had been the one to break up with him, in the first place.  
Bowing before everyone as she thanked them, Lucy felt Gajeel’s hand on her shoulder, pulling her back up and nudging her towards where the rest of their friends were. She walked beside him eagerly, although the nerves were budding inside her chest. Sure, they had come to her celebration, had clapped and smiled at her, but it was possible they were only doing it to avoid making a scene in public; it was highly likely that they were still angry at her for leaving them all so abruptly.  
“Lucy!”  
The young voice didn’t came from the group, and before Lucy could brace herself for it, she had her arms full of the sisters she’d been mentoring at the orphanage, Wendy and Shelia holding onto her tightly. Lucy smiled at the teenagers, placing a hand as best as she could on each of their backs, although she was still holding her small purse.  
“Oh, you two grew,” she commented as she held onto the two girls, smiling down as the twins lifted their faces to look at her. “I’m happy you’re both here, how have you been?”  
Lucy listened attentively as Wendy and Shelia began talking about their life for the past nine months, the things they’d done and how far they’d come in playing their instruments. It was an easy thing to do, letting herself get lost in the teenagers’ words, learning about their many adventures through the time Lucy had been away, and she appreciated that the two talked with no restraints, as if Lucy had never left at all.  
“Lucy,” a woman’s voice called, interrupting Wendy as she was detailing the time her and Shelia had performed for the orphanage together, and Lucy looked up to see Erza, arms crossed over her chest but a smile on her lips. The two teenagers seemed to take that cue to leave promptly, waving goodbye to Lucy as they walked towards Makarov and Porlyusca, and Lucy watched them go before she turned to Erza, who was now closer. “Welcome back.”  
“Thank you,” Lucy whispered, her teeth gently nibbling on the inside of her cheek as she saw Jellal, Gray and Juvia join them. “I’m... look, I’m sorry that I just disappeared all of a sudden,” she managed to say, huffing as she collected her thoughts, her gaze turning to them with a mix of sadness and desperation. “I know it makes me a terrible friend, but I just... I wasn’t in the right mind for a long time, I needed the distance so I could collect myself.”  
“It’s okay.” It was Gray who responded, his impassive gaze betrayed by the slight scowl on his lips. “Natsu told us roughly what had happened, and Erza and I had already warned him that would end up happening. That idiot hadn’t wanted to tell you about him and Anna because he was as scared of your reaction, but we’d told him you would end up finding out, one way or another, and it’d only be worse,” he explained, and Lucy gave a small nod; she’d figured that the conversation the two had had with her ex-lover when they’d announced their engagement had been about that.   
“I just needed some time to get myself together,” she said in reply, smiling genuinely as she looked at her friends. “I missed you guys, I’m really happy you came.”  
“Of course we came,” said Jellal, his arm around Erza’s shoulders lovingly as he looked at Lucy. “Lisanna went to try and find Natsu, that idiot disappeared somewhere as soon as we arrived,” he continued, and Lucy couldn’t help the way her heart flipped inside her chest.  
“Ah...” Lucy tried to steady her beating heart with a subtle deep breath, her eyes scanning around the place once again, but finding no traces of Natsu’s pink hair. “Lisanna’s, hm, your new singer right?” She guessed, and looked back to her friends to see them nod. “She’s good, I saw some of the videos you put online,” she said, a smile still on her lips as she complimented the woman.  
Almost as if she’d been summoned by the words, Lucy felt a gentle tap on her shoulder and turned with a small hum, seeing Lisanna there, a kind smile on her lips. Before Lucy could introduce herself or greet her, however, Lisanna was already holding out something to her.  
“Here,” the slightly shorter woman said, her blue eyes full of gentle kindness. Lucy, despite still feeling that pang of jealousy towards her based on the way she’d seen her interact with Natsu in the videos they posted online, couldn’t help but reciprocate her smile, instinctively grabbing the microphone she was holding out to her. “Let’s sing something,” she continued, and Lucy tilted her head in curiosity, but nodded anyway. “Alright, you know the song Stay, by Coldrain, right? You sing starting from the second verse, okay?”  
Lucy was still confused as to why Lisanna wanted to sing with her so badly, but couldn’t find it in herself to ask or deny her request. She simply followed behind Lisanna as she was taken towards a small stage that had been set up on the rooftop, watching as everyone gathered in front of it, watching the two women take their place on stage. In that moment, with a rush of adrenaline coursing through her body, Lucy failed to notice that Lisanna didn’t have a microphone on her.  
The song began with an acoustic guitar, the strings picked over and over in a low pattern that Lucy was familiar with, and she closed her eyes at the sound, enjoying the musicality of it until the drums kicked in, and, right after, a voice she hadn’t heard in a long time filled her ears, and she snapped her eyes open.  
“[ _Someone told me time will heal the pain,_ ” the voice sang](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uWl-zm25dc), and Lucy whipped her head around to find Natsu, standing behind her on that stage, his green eyes gentle as he looked at her. “ _But no one told me it doesn’t work the same when you fall in love!_ ” Lucy watched as Natsu moved to stand beside her instead of behind her, his gaze still trained on her even as they both stood facing the crowd.  
“ _Someone told me love is just a game, but no one told me I’d never play again!_ ” Lucy felt her eyes water slightly as Natsu sang, and as his eyes left hers so he could watch himself slide the microphone onto its place on the stand in front of him, she felt her heart swell with love for the man, the feeling washing over her as if he was an ocean and she was but a mere child, being swept away by it easily. “ _‘Cause she took my breath away, when she said... Stay, I want you to know, every time you go, I’m torn apart to pieces here alone... so just stay, you’re the antidote, you’re my only hope._ ”  
There was a brief pause in the singing, and Lucy forced herself to look away from Natsu, remembering that her parts were coming up. She followed his direction and placed the microphone on the stand in front of her, her hands cupped over it as she took a deep breath, her voice strong as she began to sing her part.  
“ _Will you save me, if I’m in need of help? And will you hold me, until I feel the warmth?_ ” Lucy couldn’t help it, she turned slightly so she could see Natsu again, finding the man already looking at her, cheek leaning carefully against his microphone as he stared at her with a smile on his lips. “ _‘Cause you’re the only that makes me feel alive!_ ” She sang, and she knew he could see she meant every word. She reached out a hand, and as he held onto it between them, his fingers squeezing over hers carefully, she continued. “ _When I’m with you I know that I will survive!_ ” Lucy squeezed his hand back as best as she could, their hands falling, still together, to their middle, Lucy dragging her microphone standing closer to Natsu’s so she wouldn’t have to release her hold on him as she sang the chorus. “ _Stay! I want you to know, every time you go, I’m torn apart to pieces here alone. So just stay, you’re the antidote, you’re my only hope..._ ”  
There was an instrumental break then, and Lucy closed her eyes and leaned her head back, her body and mind only understanding how good it felt to feel Natsu’s calloused fingers against the back of her hand, for a moment. Her body swayed to the rhythm as the song continued to play through the speakers, and she opened her eyes to look at the pink-haired man, mirroring easily the smile he was giving her. As the song got closer to the bridge, Lucy removed the microphone from its stand with her free hand, turning completely so she could face Natsu as he did the same.  
“ _Time takes us all,_ ” they sang in unison, and as Natsu tugged her closer, Lucy stepped over to him willingly, their foreheads connecting as they continued to sing their hearts out for each other, and for everyone else to hear. “ _And there’s nobody else I’d rather be with at the end!_ ” As the two pulled back from one another and turned to face the crowd, their hands finally disconnected, and Lucy felt cold as her hand lifted to put the microphone back on its stand, her eyes surveying the crowd as she continued to sing alongside Natsu.  
“ _Stay! I want you to know, every time you go, I’m torn apart to pieces here alone,_ ” they sang in harmony, their voices matching each other as they moved in tandem, one hand on the microphone and another reaching out towards the crowd. “ _So just stay! You’re the antidote, you’re my only- stay! I want you to know that you’re my only hope!_ ” As they dragged out the last word, their voices moving through different notes, Lucy felt Natsu tug on her wrist and glanced at him, looking into his sincere eyes and forgetting to sing, instead just letting his voice ring out. “ _Stay, I want you to know, you’re my only hope._ ”  
Lucy was breathing heavily by the time the song was over, the adrenaline swirling together with her strong emotions towards the man standing next to her, and she wondered for a moment if, maybe, she was dreaming; there was no way she was lucky enough to have Natsu still reciprocate her feelings after she’d broken both their hearts, and had spent so long away. She didn’t have enough time to try and pinch herself awake, though, as Natsu tugged on her wrist once again and she broke out of her thoughts, her eyes watering as she saw the gentle smile she’d fallen in love with.  
“Hey, Luce,” he whispered, and although Lucy was supposed to be the only one hearing such a tender greeting, the sound of his voice reverberated through the crowd, his microphone picking up on it.  
Lucy didn’t care, however; hearing him use that nickname, with such a caring tone to his voice, was enough to undo her. As she felt the tears threaten to fall, she opened her lips to greet Natsu back, but the words died before they made it out, cut off by his hand on her cheek, cupping it and tugging her head towards his chest as he moved his other hand from her wrist and to her back, holding her in a sweet embrace that she’d missed very dearly.  
“Natsu,” she managed to mumble brokenly, that one single word trying to convey everything she felt. The love, the sadness, the ache in her heart when they’d been apart; she wanted to tell him she regretted ever leaving, that she wished she could’ve stayed, but she couldn’t do much besides wrap her arms around his torso and cry into his chest.  
“Sh, it’s okay, you’re okay,” he whispered, lowering his head to her shoulder to say the words right in her ear. They were a slightly altered version of the same words Lucy had spoken to him before they’d parted, and it made her heart clench with pain, but also expand with hope. “We’re okay, Luce, you and I,” he continued, and Lucy’s hands tugged at his shirt, crinkling the fabric under her fingers as she held tighter onto him. “I don’t think I’m fully healed yet, but I think I can only finish healing by your side. Do you think you can work with that?”  
“Uh-huh,” was Lucy’s only answer, her tears staining the soft, white fabric of Natsu’s button-up shirt, the top two buttons undone. “If you haven’t taken back your heart and given it to someone else, I’d like to give you mine,” she managed to whisper, feeling her soul settle, her tears slowly coming to a halt. She sniffled back the last of her tears as she pulled away just enough to look into Natsu’s eyes, finding nothing but pure, unadulterated love within his shining green irises.  
“I told you I’d never take it back,” he spoke in response, and Lucy sighed subtly in relief, her eyes closing as his forehead touched hers and their breaths mingled between them.  
There was so much still left to say, so many stories Lucy wanted to tell, but in that moment none of that mattered. The second Natsu’s lips touched hers again, Lucy felt like she was walking through fire, her whole body welcoming the warmth and rejoicing at the touch, and everything else faded away. The hurt from the past, the embarrassment that would come in the future, nothing mattered but the fact she was there, alive, and able to be with her lover once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have no self-control and just decided to post everything at once. Oops?  
> I can't believe I wrote 90k words worth of self-indulgence for this ship. To whoever has made it through to the end -- thank you.


End file.
